Menace spotted! Discernmentalists should be concerned….

In a startling turn of events Take A Stand Ministries (TSM) Bible Based Satellite System (BS) and Discerning the World’s (DTW) – STRETCH spotted the following Emergent Robot Vampire menace….and possible sympathizers.

The ODMafia Research Robot Monkey’s were not on hand for any data collecting but we can trust the research of both of these ministries (TSM and DTW) to be accurate and true. It is possible that this could be a new type of liberal…but we will not speculate since we deal only in absolutes.

Should we not be concerned?

Please be aware of anyone in your church that look like appeasing suspects above, often wearing such apparel as plaid shirts and sporting shifty eyes (could be Canadian infiltrators.) Indeed look out for robots infiltrating YOUR church service with the above suit and tie (don’t be deceived!)

PS Discernmentalist insiders believe that this robot vampire may be an attempt to create a robot-vampire-version of Rob Bell (the facial expressions are uncannily life like.)

Hot air propels discernmentalists

Discernmentalists are known for new and innovative truth technology. This is why we think that capturing hot air from angry discernmentalists is a no-brainer. Boats in the photo above are powered by the general rantings of truth warriors. We can only imagine what the possibilities could be in the future….

Nevertheless….why didn’t we think of this sooner?

Red Letter (non)-Christian And Emergent Holiday

Tony Campolo and some evil Emergents burn our flag and cross while raising the Red banner of Obama in celebration of November 7th.

Today and Sunday all Red Letter non-Christians and Emergents will celebrate an evil anti-Christian holiday—non holy day is more like it. Today being:

 November 7: October Revolution Day in Belarus and other various regions of the former Soviet Union because on 1917 – Vladimir Lenin led a Bolshevik insurrection against the Provisional Government of Alexander Kerensky, starting the Bolshevik Revolution, the second phase of the overall Russian Revolution.

And we know that those evil Red Letter Christians and Emergents wish the same thing for our God Ordained and Chosen Nation since all of them are Obama supporters—just listen to the evil anthem they plan on singing this  Sunday:

Blasphemy sheer blasphemy—we tell you! Here are trustworthy and official GOIP Internet Encyclopedia has discernmentalized and exposed us to Emergent and Red Letter Christian propaganda for this evil and dreadful day: 

More Emergent and Red Letter Christian propaganda:

Don Jobson—beware of the Red letters.

SHEALDI Deemed A Major Success

Brannon Howse backs our SHEALDI and says that ‘it is a major advance in Discernmentalist technology in our Absolute Truth War.’ 

Absolute Truth Facts about SHEALDI:

• SHEALDI also stands for “defense Sheild for Discernmentalists and their Absolute Truth ministries in the Absolute Truth War.”
• SHEALDI also stands for “Salvation Heals only Discernmentalists as only Discernmentalists are True Christians and of God’s True Elect.”
• SHEALDI also stands for “the Sheild Dyes emitted from Uncle Ken Silva’s Missives being fired off for our protection.”

Don Jobson—SHEALDIfied Discernmentalist.

 

Super Secret open letter to those outside the Secret Order of the ODM

Picture of the last SODUM meeting.

 

The ODM has the super secret gift of discerning which lie is best for what situation. My great-great-great-great-great-great-grand uncle Screwtape Todayso taught me many things before he was put into chains of darkness in Tartarus. I am here to pass these super secret ODM truths on to the ignorant masses. I was trained under my affectionate uncle Ken Silva who was secretly mentored by Walter Martin. Now Walter Martin was not one of us. He did not choose the narrow path of slander and lies to attack others.

 Here is a secret few know that Ken taught me.  Take good teaching from great men of God and twist them to fit OUR DOCTRINES. For instance, many Calvinist make great ODMs. Why? Many teach the DOCTRINES of grace while that bad ones teach the doctrines of GRACE. Do you see what I am saying? The focus is one us and who we approve as saved and worthy of the Grace of God by the filter of our own systematic theological bend. If you do not agree with us, then you are not of us. If you leave us, you were never of us. We made our Election sure by making sure God knows who the really bad Christians are. Meanwhile we can show God how great we are and how much we love Him by our zeal to commit to saving God and His fragile truth from the pagans and false Christian converts. Deep in our secret lair we seek knew and greater ways to hurt and harm those ministries we do not approve of. We have developed new technology to make it easier for our followers to judge and condemn others. It is you the reader of the ODM’s who make us as powerful as we are. The more you read us the more we infect your spirit and make you worthless and weak. God looks down and sees you and frowns in anger at your failures and we look good as we point it out.

 This plan of deflection and exposure of others sins and misdeeds has been our game for thousands of years if not more. If you rise against us you will be taken down. In fact we will crucify anyone who tries to ruin our plans. We have already done it once! So follow the ODM way and know that you will be secure in your position of favor with our great and mighty God.  Join the Secret Order of Discernmentist United in Ministries also known as SODUM.

Red Letter Christians are Marxists says Jan Markell Part 3

Jan Markell is a fellow truth warrior, fighting on the side of all great truthwarriors (ie right-wing naturalized republican Christians) She insightfully notes “The issues you will never hear red-letter Christians talking about include winning the lost, the lateness of the hour, or sin and repentance….”

So that means we will never hear Tony Campolo speak about repentance  saying  “God, I don’t want anything from you. Just make me into what you want me to be. Make me into the person you want me to be. Use me to touch other people’s lives.”

No no, you’ll never hear that from a Red Letter Christian….because that sounds an awful lot like repentance and asking God to turn your life around. Real repentance  (biblical discernmentalist repentance) is saying the word like an incantation “I repent!” Or it has to go through a discernmentalist approval process where you must accept discernmentalist doctrines to prove repentance.

Let the ODMafia interpret the truth for you…

Jan Markell Exposed As A Wolf In Sheep’s Clothing

In a recent podcast by Jan Markell exposed to us by our GOIP Bot 3000—we’ve discernmentalized that Jan violates our the Biblically correct worldview and our Sound Biblical thinking:

Item #5

Jan Markell
God’s Final Warning to America John McTernan has been warning America for thirty years that judgment is coming to our nation. He believes the struggles in America today, including corrupt leadership, is, in fact, a judgment. Since America is basically a good and decent nation, what have we done that could so anger God?

Can you spot her error? That’s right she called ‘America a basically  good and decent nation.’ What blasphemy! Doesn’t Jan know that  only  God is good–especially when He pours down His wrath on all of our enemies. Absolute Proof that only God can be called good—why because the bible and Ray Comfort say so:

Mark 10:18 (King James Version)

 ¹⁸And Jesus said unto him, Why callest thou me good? there is none good but one, that is, God.

In fact,  Ray Comfort would be appalled at Jan’s filthy and blasphemous mouth. We Online Discernmentalists must call Jan back to our version of Biblical Integrity and the Absolute Truth. Repent Jan repent lest ye be found among the unregenerate and non-Elect.

RED-LETTER CHRISTIANS MARXIST says Jan Markell – Part 2

Jan Markell warns that some Christians focus on doing good deeds which makes Red Letter Christians Marxist. We at the ODMafia want to caution you too about doing good deeds…because doing good deeds IS a bad deed…indeed. I hope you follow our rationale, because it is as clear as Jan Markell’s Olive Tree Ministries.

Markell states “Some who believe this way practice a form of neo-Marxism and others would call it “Christian Marxism” — an oxymoron if there ever was one. They note that the early church shared everything (socialism). A close cousin to this is “liberation theology.”

Remember, caring for your community is anti-Jesus. “Love they self,” Jesus said and “do not share or hold things in common…because that is too close to communism” the apostles once reminded us in Acts. We are thankful that Jesus promoted capitalism, corporate takeovers…and the sweat shops in the Third World. Besides….it benefits us in North America so much!

ODMafia, supporting the status quo, the powers that be…without question…. just like Olive Tree Ministries!

GOIP-Lander!

We here at the Online Discernmentalist Mafia and GOIP Productions are proud to present to you GOIP-Lander: the story of one man and his band of friends as they fight to purify everything that they see in a War of Absolute Truth.  Starring Don Jobson, James Dobson, The OD Mafia crew and co-starring  John MacArthur, Ken Silva, Todd Friel and a whole host of other Truth Warriors and Online Discernmentalists of the Truth War.

This loyal crew of  Absolute Truth Warriors are fighting to establish Absolute Theocracy over everyone. Living by their motto:

One God, One Purified Religion, One Christian Nation, One Single-Party Theocratic System Of Government And Absolute Dominon Over The Non-Elect Heathens.

Will their goals succeed or not? Join them on their quest and a behind the scenes look at the rise of God’s Only Inerrant Party—the adventure of a lifetime! This film’s soundtrack features an all star musical cast including the hit song and theme song of the film God Hates The World by Charles Roast and Fred Phelps as performed by the Nationalist GOIP Orchestra and Westboro Baptist Choir:

Also features the love theme Broken Wings by Ken Silva:

In theaters soon—so go and watch it or else………….!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

—————————————————————————

Don Jobson and Truthslayer—-Absolute Truth Film experts.

RED-LETTER CHRISTIANS MARXIST says Jan Markell – Part 1

Fellow TRUE CHRISTIANS, it has come to the point where Red Letter Christians are infiltrating the church and sharing and stuff! Jan Markell of Olive Tree Ministries writes “In many Bibles, all the words of Jesus are in red. There is nothing wrong with that. But something is wrong when Leftist Christians or so-called Christians want to mute the words of Paul and other writers and only follow Jesus’ words. They call themselves “red-letter Christians.”

How dangerous that Christians emphasize the words of Jesus incarnate, God-in-the-flesh over St.Paul, redeemed sinner, creature and follower of Jesus. We need to be on the look out for people who over emphasize and live out Jesus’ mandate as dangerous publicans (not Republicans who are God fearing).  Red Letter Christians want to secretly subvert Paul’s words and even have special bible scissors to excise these scriptures….especially the parts about sharing (because that is communism.)

Moreover, Markell notes “They focus on Jesus’ words about helping the poor, ministering to “the least of these” (Matthew 25:40), loving our enemies, etc. That justifies abandoning hundreds, even thousands of condemning verses in the Bible they choose to wish away. That makes homosexuality OK and war wrong! And remember, Paul and the others in the Bible represent Jesus’ words. They were His spokesmen.”

First, we agree that we need to be bigger moralists….

Second, how ungodly of red-letter-Jesus-emphasizers to focus on Jesus words, stress mercy on outcasts and those who financially struggle (so unbiblical!!!) So what if there are about 2000 verses in the bible regarding the poor. We know that the Bible is really about abortion and promoting war…because Jesus said “Blessed are the war-mongers.”

When will they learn that only Republican-right-wing-conservative-Christians are true believers who are supposed to despise the poor and marginalized. Remember, the poor are dirt-bags and deserve to be ignored. We cannot afford to be compassionate when we need to rally the troops against homosexuality.

Remember the TRUE words of our Lord “Blessed are the haughty and self-sufficient, for they shall overcome and bludgeon the downtrodden over all of the earth.”

We at the ODMafia want to remind you that the gospel is about rabid indivdualism and your own personal salvation (and upholding the status-quo)… between you and God. Ignore they neighbour….because to share with them is communism.