Here are the facts as to why Shane Claiborne is not saved.
1. I said so.
2. Ken Silva said so and also said Shane is a liar.
3. Ingrid of Slice of Laodicea said so.
4. Shane hung around Mother Theresa who we know was RCC and had written that she had doubts and we know that anyone who is RCC and had doubts cannot be saved.
5. Did you look at that picture? He does not look like he is saved to me!
Now, we know that Shane can blame it on bloggers for the Conservative Cedarville University telling him to take his “red” (as in commie) letter bible and go home to his emergent village and sit in front of his guru Tony Jones and Brian McClaren and smoke more doobie from their emergent hookahs.
I hope that is enough proof to show that Shane Claiborne who likes to go to other countries (like Iraq) and “minister” is really not saved and is going to his Universalist hell in a hemp weaved handbag.
Surely, goodness and kindness will follow me all the days of my life,
I. Todyaso
itodyaso
seymorespurgeon
Will Farel XV
donjobson
February 13, 2008 at 12:17 pm |
I just have to say amen to that. If you have any facial hair that isn’t a full beard or mustache then you can’t be saved. Also Dreadlocks are from the devil. So put that in your “peace” pipe and smokel it.
February 13, 2008 at 12:34 pm |
nator,
May God continue to show you the purity that comes from those of us who follow The Way of the Master and His Truth war ways.
Maybe you to will get the calling to be a Online Discernmentalist like my anointed self in all my righteous selfness.
February 13, 2008 at 4:16 pm |
Mr Todyaso,
Can you help me? I keep a five o’clock shadow full face beard on occasion. Is that evil?
February 13, 2008 at 5:49 pm |
I will do my best. I will sit at your feet to learn the ways of sending people who we don’t like to…I just can’t say it yet. I need more training!
February 13, 2008 at 9:02 pm |
I have another question. When is it right and wrong to use a computer?
April 1, 2008 at 5:12 am |
Wow you people are really empty, sad and shallow. All Shane Clairborne is doing is showing the love of Jesus. Do u really think Jesus would be wasting his time on making a terrible website like this to drag people down? No of course not Jesus was out to help the people which is what Shaine is doing…… Shame on you people!! How dare you insult such a committed follower of Jesus
April 1, 2008 at 2:00 pm |
A committed follower of Jesus wouldn’t wear his hair in Dreads! It would be nice and neat, just like Jesus had his. Haven’t you seen the pictures of Jesus? I’m sure Shane has and look at the contempt on his face!
April 1, 2008 at 6:27 pm |
David,
We are empty of the world but full of OUR holy Doctrines that can save you also (if you are Elect like we are).
If we continue to accept people like Shane Claiborne going around preaching about “helping people” and “loving people unconditionally” which we all know is code in the emerging church for “communists against capitalism” we will lose this Truth War we rage for OUR angry God we serve.
I. Todyaso
It might be known that Shane Claiborne spent much time in India and Iraq so he may not even be saved (unless he was in Iraq serving This great Christian Nation!)
April 2, 2008 at 7:16 am |
Laodiceans,
IT is right. We should be very concerned about people who look like Mr Claiborne. It is obvious to everyone that he is not even remotely saved. David, I’m sorry you cannot see this. Haven’t we been told a thousand times, by a thousand celebrities, that looks are everything? Thank you IT for pointing out the obvious truth about this dangerous, dangerous heretic with long hippy hair.
Struggling
PS–I shaved my chin hair off. Can I be absolved now? Are there any rules about wearing t-shirts with Scripture printed on them?
July 21, 2008 at 12:26 am |
Alright, I am about 99.9% sure that this post is a complete joke… but given the state of American Christianity these days, I can’t help but have a tiny voice in the back of my mind that says you are being completely serious.
October 15, 2008 at 5:00 pm |
Are you serious? Saying this man is not saved because of the way he looks? Shane Claiborne takes the Gospel to places that most people refuse to go to. Tell me this itodyaso, would you be willing to go live with the homeless in order to share Christ with them? I’m glad you’re taking judgment into your own hands. So much for trusting God with this one. I’m praying for you.
October 16, 2008 at 11:38 am |
Wow, I hope this is a joke. I have just one thing to say. Read your Bible.
Jesus was probably the most inclusive person that at that time had ever walked the earth. And I never could imagine in my wildest dreams Jesus saying, “Repent and trim your beard, and if you don’t you will surely perish in the fires of Hell.”
April 20, 2009 at 7:20 pm |
amen.
November 28, 2008 at 3:27 am |
This is quite obviously a joke and is taking a stab at all the online bloggers who live with their momma’s and call people unsaved heretics for the most ridiculous reasons. I think the whole idea of “Ken Silva said so” quite evidently is getting at how so many on the web listen to everything Ken Silva says as if it were Holy Scripture itself. Right or wrong?
December 24, 2008 at 1:31 pm |
hahahaha. Thanks God this is satire. As someone who identifies a lot with guys like Claiborne, this post really made me laugh. Saludos desde Colombia.
January 18, 2009 at 7:52 pm |
[...] This is one of the Emergent leaders Shane Claiborne. I have written extensively on him in my well researched massive called Why Shane Claiborne is not saved. [...]
July 14, 2009 at 11:57 am |
Let me get this straight… facial hair is going to send Shane to hell? What about the Amish? Are they all going to hell? What if I’m not meticulously shaved on the date of my death? Will I then go to hell? I’m not sure where it is that Jesus says that Heaven belongs to the clean-shaven, but if you’d like to point out your source, Mr. Todyaso, I’d certainly be willing to listen. I simply can’t accept your opinions on the subject after your appearance-based discrimination.
July 14, 2009 at 1:13 pm |
Where is the love?
Maybe this post will clear up your slanderous lies against me!
Mr Todyaso Can you Help me?
And maybe if you actually read the bible instead of thinking your emerging beard will save you, you might know the truth as WE understand it.
I. Todyaso
July 14, 2009 at 9:42 pm |
We must come against Emerging Beards…or any hair that is out of place – apostate hair be gone!!!
December 12, 2009 at 3:49 am |
How long have I been with you and know you not that your heart should be clean and as your face without a beard to enter the kingdom of heaven prepared before of our Father?
In your laws you say many things as to what makes a man’s face clean shaven on the outside.
But isn’t it only the reflection of the unshaven and uncircumcised heart within?
For out of the heart proceeds all the works of the flesh: strife, envy, murder, lust, hatred and every form of abomination.
Therefore it is the unshaven heart which is reflected in the glory of the uncircumcised bearded face.
If the works and signs were done in that sinful city of Las Vegas that were done in your city,
they would have repented a long time ago.
How is it you can predict the emerging trends of the blogosphere but can not tell the signs of the times?
All who wear such offensive beards as this Shane Claiborne shall in no wise enter into the kingdom prepared for those who love God.
It is an offense to me. Be away with you satan.
By the time you have had the chance to shave 3 times
tomorrow, you will have denied the truth you’ve read here and allowed your beard of sin to grow with the smugness on your face thinking you are somehow “cool”
with your blogs.