Parody and Satire is really hate!

 

 

It has been brought to my attention that there are satire/parody sites that actually MOCK the church. How grievous it is to think that there are those sites out there who think satire and parody is an appropriate way to speak God’s truth to those THEY think need to be more humble and loving to others.

 

One site really grieves me is The Sacred Sandwich. I know it is one I will be watching closely. Another site is Larknews… Good grief they make things up and sometimes even make things up about real people… of course you will NEVER see that here on the ODMafia… we may lie and slander people but we will not JUST make anything up!

 

Another site that really hurts my spirit is The Wittenburg Door… how sad these people are to actually use Martin Luther’s idea! And once again… they often just make things up.

 

All of these sites claim to be promoting “truth” in the form of humor… and we here at the ODMafia see no humor in it at all! These people only show how much they hate the REAL CHURCH…

 

Only read this site for the most valuable news that is worthy of OUR DOCTRINE and OUR TRUTH. If you are a TRUTH Warrior then never go to those hideous sites as they might give you a warped perspective of what is appropriate for others… I have now decided to hate these Sandcastle ministires… and if you link to them you might get more hits to your blog, but you will most assuredly end up in the deepest regions of Hell!

 

I do not just warn you…

 

I. Todyaso

Report says online discernmentalism surging in recession

Echo Bay (Reuters) – Online discernmentalism  increased by 33 percent last year, rising for the first time in three years, and is surging this year as the recession deepens, federal authorities said on Monday.

Online discernmentalism reported in the United States reached a record h 264.6 million  people for the truth in 2008, according to a report released on Monday from the Internet Ministry of Truth, run by the FBI.

Jehovah’s Witnesses will do the opposite

The ODMafia Research Robot Monkey’s note “Jehovah’s Witnesses will observe the memorial of Jesus death by NOT partaking in the bread and wine.” Since most of the 144 000 class are dead, this leaves few that actually identify with the death, burial and resurrection of Jesus and are supposed to partake of the ‘emblems.’

Like George Castanza from Seinfeld, they do everything the opposite.

This is sure to be a yearly joyless occasion.

Light and Cheap, Truthbooks Are Poised to Reshape PC Industry

SAN FRANCISCO – Get ready for the next stage in the personal truth revolution: ultrathin and dirt cheap. Slice of Laodicia announced on Tuesday that customers in Atlanta could get a type of compact PC called a truthbook (codename MacArthur Truthbook) for just $50 if they signed up for a truth warrior service plan – an offer the discernment company may introduce elsewhere after a test period. This year, at least one wireless truth company in the United States will probably offer truthbooks free with paid data plans, copying similar programs in Japan, according to industry experts. Japan has an enclave of Samurai truth warriors living on the outskirts of Tokyo with a lot of discernmentalist experience behind them.

Black Ops Discernment nano-copter gets demo’ed!

The nano-copter has already gone through a number of different prototypes and test flights, but it looks like things have really started to come together with the last few models. One ODM spokesman was delighted with possible discernmentalist capabilities; “We can now spot sin from over a mile away or up to a few feet.”

In one indoor simulated mission, they believe that they can now prove for the next time whether James MacDonald really supports Obama. ODM spokesman notes “This time we will have a nano-copter right there just in case James MacDonald smiles, shakes Obama’s hand, or nods…”

The latest Discernment nano-copters will be running on an old Atari 800 platform with 64K and laser guided heresy interceptors.

ODMAfia Research Robot Monkeys can think for themselves so says scientists

LONDON (Reuters) – Watch out scientists — you may be replaced by a robot. Most discernmentalists are already replaced by Research Robot  Monkeys.

Two teams of researchers said on Thursday they had created machines that could judge, stretch the truth and create new and innovative ways of name calling on their own, marking a major advance in the field of artificial intelligence. Its too bad that they did not check with us first! Our Research Robot Monkeys do everything these scientists envision and more; they make toast and execute character assassinations before 9AM!!!

Such robo-scientists could be put to work unraveling complex discernmental logical systems executed by discernmentalists which  is still a deep dark mystery for most people.

Eric Barger’ Take a Stand Ministries calls Warren to Task For Critically Thinking

Eric Barger  in discernmentalist fashion questioned Rick Warren’s unbiblical statements about deeds:

“My questions is, since Warren is easily one of the most influential persons claiming to be a Christian on planet Earth today, why didn’t he declare that the future of this world is 100% dependant on Jesus and Jesus alone?!!“

ODmafia comment: While we recognize that Warren’s intent of the article was not about the gospel specifically (but rather how Christians should live), we like the fact that Barger has bent Warren’s statements to mean something else.

Moreover, the article appears to insist that Christians need to be consistently creedal.…and that deeds therefore need to be worked into our way of life (ie orthopraxxy) therefore to include consistency in belief and action.

We at ODMafia agree that placing words in the mouths of others and changing the meaning is sound gospel teaching. We stand only for creeds not deeds which are unbiblical and against absolute truth.

The ODMafia stands behind ODMs, especially if they mischaracterize the teachings of people we do not like, and will come against anyone else who attempts to spread the gospel or absolute truth but us! Remember, let the ODMs do the thinking so you don’t have to! (-:

Jam 2:14 What good is it, my brothers, if a man claims to have faith but has no deeds?

Discernmentalist Revolver “not done” yet, still looking for a sinner

Discernmentalist Revolver, the Grammy-winning rock group founded by three former members of Slice N’ Roses, is not ready to call it a day even though they have yet to find a new sinner.

The band ousted  a band member in April 2008, following an unusually public feud, they are currently pointing out various sinners but have yet to name the top one.

“We have several sinners in mind” says band member but notes “we have a lot of judging ahead of us before we make up our mind!”

Discernmentalist Revolver recorded its first track “Judging You Judging Me” for the soundtrack for the movie Truth Wars a 1977 Sci Fi blockbuster. The band also recorded a cover of Pink Floyd’s “Send Me Money” which is featured in the movie “Discernmentalist and The Furious”

The band was confident that by the end of the year they would choose the right sinner.

John MacArthur Deep Space Probe Lacks Funding

The Truthslayer Research Group has discovered that the Deep Space Truth Warrior John MacArthur Edition Space probe lacks satellite funding. A spokesman went on record staying “This satellite is a needed boon to orthodoxy and we need funding immediately. We can’t lose this special device. In fact its even signed by John MacArthur.”

Paris Hilton Interested in Discernmentalism

In a surprise interview conducted by CBS, Paris Hilton revealed that if she could do anything in the world it would be  Discernmentalism.

An unnamed Online Discernmentalist Ministry (ODM) spokesman suggested that there are a number of ODMs looking to recruit her and her dog for tough absolute truth training.