Turn or burn sucker!

May 27, 2009

180

This has been a public service announcement.


All I can say is AMEN!

May 27, 2009


The sad plight of street preachers!

May 27, 2009

wp4fWith all the bailouts and new programs there is one group of people that have been left out on the street. These are the Street Preachers. Yes, these sad yet courageous souls face the cold streets of our cities and often at their own peril and expense. Help support a street preacher near you. If you see one be kind and give them a buck or two and then pretend to “get saved”. This will embolden and greatly encourage that street preacher so that he can make a bigger sign and maybe get his bullhorn out of the pawn shop! Remember this could be you! (That is if you weren’t such a pathetic coward!)


Sam Guzman points out another emerging heretic!

May 27, 2009

090125kp

No one wants their kitchen to look like this mess, so why would Jesus want you if you were a mess? Do you want YOUR church to look like this?

 

We want to thank Sam Guzman for pointing out another rising emerging heretic named Paul Miller. Paul Miller is quoted at Slice as selling the emergent “messy” gospel. Yes, just as the emergents who sell us the idea that one can come to Jesus “messy” and stay that way so Sam Guzman exposed Paul Miller with this quote:

“Jesus does not say, ‘Come to me, all you who have learned how to concentrate in prayer, whose minds no longer wander, and I will give you rest.’ No, Jesus opens his arms to his needy children and says, ‘Come to me, all who are weary and heaven-laden, and I will give you rest.’

The criteria for coming to Jesus is messiness. Come overwhelmed with life. Come with your wandering mind. Come messy.”

—Paul Miller, A Praying Life

Guzman rightfully discerns that this “messy” is shorthand for sinners. We do not allow sinners into our church! That is what our Beloved Uncle Ken Silva and dear Ingrid have taught us from day one. Guzman is a true Discernmentalist!


Lawmakers approve same-truth marriage in N.H., Maine

May 27, 2009

marry(DNN) — Lawmakers voted in favor of same-truth marriage in New Hampshire and Maine on Wednesday, leaving Rhode Island as the only other New England state without legislation in favor of the issue.

Eric Barger’s Take A Stand Ministries believes that the ONLY type of marriage should be declared between 2 people who share the same absolute truth. It was rumoured that people should take a truth-detector test before marriage, but we could not confirm nor deny the allegation.

“I have come to believe that this is a question of fairness and of equal protection under the law, and that a civil-truth union is not equal to civil marriage,” Bart Baldacci, a Democrat, said in a statement released as he signed the bill.

As soon as ODMs found out a democrat was behind this bill they quickly gathered against him, and burned an image of his likeness outside the legislative building. ODMS are now trying to re–configure their stand on same-truth marriage. Republicans were unsure of the who debacle, but some declared that truth was too elusive for anyone to agree on and decided it was best to support defence contractors to defend America against communists until they could come to a better informed decision.

Most ODM Truth Warriors remain single unable to find someone who holds to the same quality of truth that they do which makes dating or getting along with other people difficult. Many ODMs (such as ODMafia) resort to lobotomies, hypnosis and bribes to make people like us. Still, we THINK we are likeable despite our ugly underbelly….but that is because we often resort to paying off our readers to pretend to appreciate this ministry.


Evangelism Educational Film- “What not to do…”

May 27, 2009

Of all the educational films we endorse this is one should be shown in every church!


The perfect concealed weapon!

May 27, 2009

 

evangelism2

I rarely link to another blog unless I truly agree with them or I hate them. Yet, here I appreciate Tim Challies digging out a true gem that will remind us all that the Bible truly THE CONCEALED weapon. Though as I read the post by Tim Challies I sort felt he might not believe this is the ONLY true way of evangelism as it was developed in the 1950’s so I am a bit reluctant to send people there. Yet, to have this truly incredible method to pass on in such a wonderful packaged way it could not be passed up for it’s true value. By using this approved method I guarantee you will convert many to OUR DOCTRINES.

 

* Warning: Tim Challies wavers on the edge of apostasy!


Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 1,901 other followers

%d bloggers like this: