Emerging: from Tradition to Transition to Transformation

June 26, 2009

 

scared_man

 

The Online Discernmentalist Mafia special research reporters have been out in full force. “There is a 3-step process that leads to ‘transformation,’” writes Herescope! Herescope does not stop there but rather produces hard hitting evidence “The word “transformation” is one of those words that has a double meaning…. To the speaker, it may mean something different altogether” Double meanings are often sinister!
What is this evidence? Herescope using the Heretic-o-meter deduces that this is indeed part of the Aquarian Conspiracy! How insightful and masterful in their investigation. We praise this ministry for large leaps of logic and lapses of reason because we too support this keen type of judgment as bible based. Indeed the Online Discernmentalist Mafia has a room full of two, sometimes three keen researchers with feces throwing robot monkey’s to aid in discernmentalism. That is why discernmentalist ministries are never wrong…and the Online Discernmentalist Mafia 100% correct.
The Online Discernmentalist Mafia special research reporters have been out in full force. “There is a 3-step process that leads to ‘transformation,’” writes Herescope! Herescope does not stop there but rather produces hard hitting evidence “The word “transformation” is one of those words that has a double meaning…. To the speaker, it may mean something different altogether” Double meanings are often sinister!
What is this evidence? Herescope using the Heretic-o-meter deduces that this is indeed part of the Aquarian Conspiracy! How insightful and masterful in their investigation. We praise this ministry for large leaps of logic and lapses of reason because we too support this keen type of judgment as bible based. Indeed the Online Discernmentalist Mafia has a room full of two, sometimes three keen researchers with feces throwing robot monkey’s to aid in discernmentalism. That is why discernmentalist ministries are never wrong…and the Online Discernmentalist Mafia 100% correct.

Phoenix lander scoops dirt finds heretic and emerging church

June 26, 2009

Martian_sunsetAs fall creeps up on the arctic plains of Mars, NASA’s Phoenix Lander is using the few weeks it has left to gather as many samples of Martian dirt for analysis as it can.

Over the past two weeks, Phoenix’s nearly 8-foot-long (2.4-meter) scanning arm moved a rock named “Heretic” about 16 inches (40 cm) and snapped an image of the rock with its camera…..exposing the lies of this barren planet.

Then the robotic arm scraped up some remnants of an ancient emergent church underneath the rock and delivered a few teaspoonfuls of it into the lander’s truth scanner and emergent detecting microscopes. These microscopes are part of Phoenix’s Absolute, False Teacher Finder and  Analyzer (AFTFA).

The special detector was developed under the watchful eye of John MacArthur, Slice of Laodicea, Eric Barger’s Take a Stand Ministries combined with earlier technological feats of Apprising Ministries Heresy Detection Technology Section. University of ODMafia faculty were on standby as consultants.


“Absolute Diploma” a must have!

June 26, 2009

UODFMafia

The Diploma of Absolute Truth is a must have for junior discernmentalists. In this course you will develop a binary way of thinking based on Enlightenment and Modernity. You will learn to reduce complex ideas and theories into a caricatures and misrepresentations. Moreover, this course will help you to fear all sorts of ‘isms’ that you do not understand a mis-characterize such as post-modernism. You will also learn to fear liberals and conservatives with views that different than yours. You will also learn the technicalities of categorizing truth in a liberal vs conservative context. …just like Jesus did.

The course also emphasizes excessive rigidity in worldviews which is necessarily based on a North American culture as THE standard which all else is judged…we recommend that you prepare to be as inflexible as possible before engaging your mind  in this course. Ignorance of history is also recommended.

Prerequisite: Introductory Judgmentalism


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