September 10, 2009
Discerners everywhere….we need to come together so that we can unite against this President Obama’s insidious speech that will DESTROY our children and cause adults to eat kittens. I kid you not….we need to move against this BEFORE it is TOO late. Here is an excerpt:
“…No one’s born being good at things, you become good at things through hard work. You’re not a varsity athlete the first time you play a new sport. You don’t hit every note the first time you sing a song. You’ve got to practice. It’s the same with your schoolwork. You might have to do a math problem a few times before you get it right, or read something a few times before you understand it, or do a few drafts of a paper before it’s good enough to hand in.“
We at ODMafia have found more than enough evidence for heresy and false teaching….here is OUR expert interpretation of his speech….
1) “...No one’s born being good” You see Obama is trying to say that we can be potentially be good…he is trying to subvert the Bible and America. We can’t be good. We know!
2) “...you become good at things through hard work.” The Bible says that NO one is Good. We think Obama is trying to supercede the Bible….Obama therefore is deceiving us.
Obama is a Democrat so that he is obviously against America and Christianity. Obama says evil things like working hard, studying and stuff like that to impressionable students. This is purely evil….we are pretty sure that he will begin to incite adults to eat puppy dogs and to berate elderly ladies who attempt to cross a busy intersection.
Only Republicans can be Christians because St. Paul was one.
We know stuff….trust us.
September 10, 2009
Our highly specialized research robot monkeys are on a declassified assignment. We have been lead to believe the discernmentalists and geologists are working together undercover (that is right – tied to UNRIGHTEOUSNESS) to expose emergent gangs the Couches and the Rival Candle gang. Because they will jointly expose emergents, the methodology is sanctioned as okay. We are not sure why we are not included in this operation especially since we have admitted to being the Green Beret of discernmentalism ….nevertheless we believe this is case is explosive.
Speaking of explosive….
Geologists in their quest to understand volcanoes and volcanism have been taking carefully calibrated CO2 measurements of the hot air spewing from various discernmentalist ministries (ie collaboration!) Again, we regret that we have been ignored since we have our share of hot air (we will be filing grievances with the American Discernmentalists for Truth and Geologists Who Love Volcanoes Institute of Important Studies)
We think the studies will aid and invigorate discernmentalism everywhere…and now that we have links with geologists we are a greater field of targets to draw from….we’re sure that they are unbiblical …we just need a few minutes to investigate their heresies (because we are certain they have many).
Please stay tuned….and remember you don’t need to do the discernmentalizing….let the experts do that!
With the ODMafia, you don’t have to think for yourself.
September 10, 2009
Sometimes truthwarriors are confused (like Ravi Zacharias who really is not a truth warrior)….they attempt to apply mercy, love and other spineless attributes that liberals, moderates and some conservatives use when ascertaining truth….or trying to understand another point of view. We URGE all warriors to apply the mind only. (and ONLY in moderation). By doing so, and rightly ascending to the proper orthodoxy (OURS) you will be on the path to having all your T’s crossed and I’s dotted. This is what Jesus wanted….people who had the right abstract ideas void of any life practice…and this is what we want too. Remember truth is not Jesus, its about disembodied ideas.
Remember, the heart does not matter. You need to be a mean bastard to get ahead in this world, and ENFORCE truth especially when it means forging ahead in the truth…we gotta tell it like it is, set people straight, and verbally smack them around until they see our point. The heart will only hinder progress.