New Calvin Crunch Cereal to hit store soon!

Calvin Crunch CerealIt is finally here! The new Calvin Crunch Cereal! We are so excited that Checkered Past Cereal company has decided to start their “Reformed” brand again. We hope that this will lead to a healthy doctrinal based breakfast for all “real” Christians! It has extra fiber so you will not have to worry about feeling bloated with self righteousness! Remember a “correct” doctrine will give you more energy to fight off those heretics as well as keep you alert to anything that might resemble Arminianism! Be sure to send your kids off to school with plenty of Calvin Crunch in their bellies. Also, free inside are the “Heretics trading cards”.  Collect them all! The first batch of cards feature, N.T. Wright and Brian McLaren.

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5 Responses to New Calvin Crunch Cereal to hit store soon!

  1. truthslayer says:

    …I KNOW I’m predestined to eat this cereal!

    Like

  2. Arthur McJohn says:

    At last!! I was getting tired to have my kids eating mystic Quaker oats and this neo-shamanist “froot loops”.

    Like

  3. […] New Calvin Crunch Cereal to hit store soon! « The Online … […]

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  4. […] has tested and produced an all new exclusive 100% discernmentalist cereal….first it was Calvin Crunch now we have Reformation Crunch! It features the Five Sola’s in every bite protecting you […]

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  5. […] McLaren best know for his image on the popular heretic trading cards found in Calvin Crunch Cereal, revealed what A New Kind of Christian will look like when his New Kind of Christianity will be […]

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