What is a discernmentalist?

September 15, 2009

angry1

Discernmentalist: An expert discerner who knows all, is able to read minds, re-interpret quotes, and misinterpret quotes biblically. Typically involved in the “special ops” of discernment, and has the right to mislead the public when defending the truth or orthodoxy against the unrighteous (ie almost everyone).

We believe that we are the GREEN BERET of discernmentalism. We know stuff!


How Discernmentalists get the answer!

September 15, 2009

how

Discernmentalists strive to always arrive at the correct answer. “THE” answer is always our opinion bible believing understanding.  We spend many minutes trying to arrive at the answer pre-conceived answer. For instance, Discerning the World using their very advanced STRETCH TECHNOLOGY (Survey Truth Revise & Exaggerate Truncate Cacophony of Hagiomani) takes a quote from Rob Bell:

“Rob Bell – The Story We’re Telling:    sin, salvation, business, art, justice and the importance of beginning in the beginning”

And arrives at this DTW “How far do we have to go back? To the very beginning, of course. We, each individual person, needs to eat from the tree of life in order to gain knowledge.”

Lets look at the “BEGINNING” from other places…..

Ge 1:1 – In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth.

Let’s try again….

Ps 111:10 –   The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom; all who follow his precepts have good understanding. To him belongs eternal praise.

Nevertheless, we need to reach for the tree of life instead of the beginning of wisdom….because DTW infers it so. You see we discernmentalists are devil centred. We know he has the power, he lurks, destroys and is always the center of our fear and our theology….even tho we’d insist that Jesus is.

Finally, discernmentalists go thru some very complicated discernmentalist math to arrive at our very unique answers. We are very complex people who insist that we are simple bible believing people. Its just that our answers are complex mental gymnastics.

If this is all too confusing for you, we hope that you will entrust us to do the discernmentalizing for you! Let’s keep it simple.


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