Discernmentalist is missing!

October 19, 2009

A 911 call came in today at 10:00 AM stating that top discernmentalist Ken Silva was missing! Word has it he was last seen flying away in a huge home made hot air balloon.

Many of the top Discernmentalists are very concerned. TruthSlayer who writes for the ODMafia the greatest of all ODM sites stated: “First we thought it was just Ken Silva being persecuted over a post on his website and he had deleted the whole thing again. Then we found out Ken has been missing for over three hours!”

Search and rescue spent over three hours chasing a hot air balloon that was hovering over Claremont, N.H and finally was found outside of the small town in a cornfield without Ken Silva in it! Many continued the search and some speculated that Ken Silva was actually raptured or taken by God much like Elijah was in the bible.

Then news came that Ken Silva was actually hiding up in his attic and was scared to come down because he could not find his favorite Walter Martin tape.

I. Todyaso was caught leaving the men’s room at a local restaurant in his hometown and was quoted as saying, “I know I am much relived.”

” We do not believe this to be a hoax or publicity stunt” said the head of the Claremont police chief Berny Fife, a distant cousin to the famous Barney Fife of Mayberry R.F.D. No charges have been raised. Berny Fife is also one of the 8 members of Ken Silva’s ever growing church.  


New From Chia!

October 19, 2009

 

They are fun and what better way to commemorate you favorite theologians!

Check out the John Calvin Chia Pet!

John Calvin Chia Pet

Or our favorite the Spurgeon Chia!

Chia Spurgeon

Buy them now as supplies are limited!


Tired of your children eating candy of pagans and liberals?

October 19, 2009

jf

Are you sick and tired of eating the same candy as pagans, liberals and other sinners? The new and improved Judgefinger candy-bar is the perfect treat of discernmentalist parents and children. With zero calories and all the taste one can expect…you will be swept off your feet (in the most biblical sense) while appreciating this stellar candied delight (stellar as in the non-astological way)!!!

Don’t accept any pagan substitutes!

Remember, its TRUTHSLAYER endorsed!


Who Wants to Marry a Multi-Discernmentalist?

October 19, 2009

wwtmd

Join us weekdays at 4 pm after Heresy Wars for Who Wants to Marry a Multi-Discernmentalist? Only on Worldview Weekend TV—it’s fun for the whole family.

Join Ken “Hans” Silva, Brannon Howse’s son “Mowse” and Bruce “Abuse Your Wife For Her Own Good”  Ware as they look for that perfectly submissive wife. You’ll laugh out loud at the hilarious exploits the cast get into. You’ll cringe in horror as Hans, Mowse and Aywfhog teach their potential marital candidates the Pure Doctrines of Male Headship. You’ll cry as they turn down several hundred feminists who refuse to graciously submit to their God-given authority.  Female viewers will soon learn to accept our Pure Doctrines of Male Headship just like our very own Candace Cameron Bure. Get all the family involved and watch us weekdays at 4 pm after Heresy Wars on Worldview Weekend TV so they will accept our opinion of the Biblical Worldview.

Don Jobson—Respect moy athoratie woman.


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