The Truthslayer guarantee!

Dear readers,

I have a guarantee for you! Here is my pledge….

Preaching the WHOLE Truth

“Presenting the truth without compromise is not popular in many religious circles today. With a great volume of “feel good” and “happy” half-gospels being offered, those who buck the trend and offer messages laced with words such as “sin,” “judgment,” “holiness,” “Satan,” and “repentance” are commonly viewed as narrow, old-fashioned or even Neanderthal. Actually, the preaching of the whole, authentic Gospel, with all of its convicting themes, never has been “popular.” What is different now than in times past is that yesterday’s Evangelicals were primarily interested in winning and then building strong, righteous disciples. In our day, however, many have decided to market themselves in such a way as to engage in a sort of popularity contest. This is symptomatic of the last days. Doesn’t it make sense that, if one is attempting to use marketing techniques like we’re seeing now, sermons pertaining to righteousness and surrender – let alone sin and hell – wouldn’t be considered? These themes are relics from a bygone era and are considered counterproductive to the prevailing wisdom churned out by today’s gurus of church growth.”

Therefore to sum up….

1) I pledge to preach the WHOLE TRUTH…and nothing but the truth. I NEVER compromise, because that is how holy I am. HEre and only here will you get nothing but the truth (and when I saying “nothing but the truth” I mean it!) You will never find liberal-style Christianity here that stresses love, meekness or humility.

2) I will offer nothing that is “feel good” I will guarantee to make you feel bad. That is my pledge!

3) I will join no popularity contests….even though I am number one in my world…and yours too.

4) There will be no “Happy-Half-Gospels” see #2. I will offer only brooding angry FULL gospels. Happy are they who trust in the Lord.

5) We’ll never use mass marketing techniques, ie like mass email mail-outs like those consumeristic churches.

That is my pledge! “God, I thank you that I am not like other men”.

Affectionately yours,

Truthslayer.

PS Please sign up for our non-popularity-contest-non-consumeristic-mass-mailing for your weekly diet of absolute truth. Its my guarantee to you!

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** Serious note ** For a helpful account of what humility is about see  True Humility

Brian McLaren Directly Assaults Discernmentalists

Discernmentalists, we are under direct attack on a daily basis. We need to rally to arms and put on the aggressive defense. Just last month Brian McLaren directly assaulted Uncle Ken Silva and Aunt Ingrid Schlueter of Slice Of  Laodicea. Ingrid was caught yelling in a headlock:

What an appallingly dishonest way to deal with your critics, McLaren.

which  inspired her to write this scathing critique of her ordeal:

Brian McLaren Paints Critics as Gay-Hating Bigots

by Ingrid Schlueter

Emergent author Brian McLaren doesn’t believe in a literal Second Coming of Jesus. He has problems with the penal substitutionary atonement of Jesus on the cross. A literal hell with eternal torment for those who reject Christ? Not likely. The Genesis account of the fall of man? Not true. But instead of addressing his own spiritual rebellion, Brian appears to want to paint his critics as bigots. In a recent blog post, McLaren demands that what he calls “discernment websites” (he used the quote marks) address an African country’s attempts to codify severe penalties for homosexuality into law. He seems to imply that these same “discernment ministries” would automatically support the arrest and execution of gays by Uganda.

For the record, Brian, that’s a pretty nasty strategy to use against those who point to your heretical doctrinal views. While emergents supposedly are intellectual, open-minded people who enjoy conversations with subtle nuances and lots of mystery, McLaren actually sees things in black and white. Anyone who is not willing to jettison cardinal doctrine and embrace his “new kind of Christianity” is painted as ready to commit hate crimes and would support mistreating gays. What an appallingly dishonest way to deal with your critics, McLaren.

Ken was found wounded in the fray but not hurt. We asked him for comment and all he could murmur was:

It’s interesting this “minister” would place quotations around “discernment websites.” Well, as one of said sites, I can tell McLaren that I personally do not at all “enjoy featuring and critiquing the work” of any of these postliberal rebels against the final authority of God’s Word. The Lord knows that I’d much rather go back to apologetics and evangelizing those lost in the kingdom of the cults.

Indeed this is why we must go back on the aggressive defense and never compromise on preaching the whole ‘discernmentalist’ truth to all liberal, apostate, heretics!

We are under direct assault!

Attention discernmentalists everywhere!!! We all know that Islamic forces are a monolithic, extra-fertile menace that is trying to subvert America and rent our American loving DVD action movies. It is my displeasure (and yours too) to state that Hunting Heresy Hunters suggests that not every Muslim is a threat.

What?????

This is what we believe…and it is therefore TRUTH “Muslims, within the span of 20-50 years, will essentially control the entire world because of their numbers;” We also believe that Muslims will build mosques on Mars very soon….perhaps even by 2018 if we do not act fast!

If we don’t have fear and bigotry to use as forces of of defence….what do we have left?

I dare say that EVERY DISCERNMENTALIST must rise up and be fearful!

Trust us, trust me (Truthslayer)….remember when it comes to the truth…we don’t comprimise, we preach the whole ‘discernmentalist’ truth!

Dear Dr Truthslayer

Dear Dr. Truthslayer, Eric Barger’s Take A Stand Ministries states that he is “Preaching the WHOLE Truth” and “Presenting the truth without compromise is not popular in many religious circles today.” What do you think?

Johnny Ignoramus, Winnipeg

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Johnny, it is possible to preach the whole truth and nothing but the truth. You see we discernmentalists preach ALL the truth….unlike Rob Bell, Gregory Boyd. Rick Warren, & NT Wright…who do not preach the truth at all.

We are so holy and self righteous that we are able to preach it without compromise (always)…we never make mistakes and when we do you have to learn to cover your tracks and never admit your wrong. When we mean NO compromise we mean we don’t have any biases….or planks in our eyes. We are about the authentic gospel…you know the one about pointing out how right we are, how authentic we are, how good we are, how truthful we are. How those others are not so good like Mega-Churches and so on (We think you know what I mean…wink wink).

We are able to interpret the bible perfectly through the use of discernmentalist lenses. We don’t compromise. There is never ambiguity when it comes to tough issues…only absolute truth all the time.

Also, how dare you question Eric’s no nonsense, no compromise attitude!

Affectionately yours Dr. Truthslayer

PS We and Eric’s Ministry are so biblical that we won’t even compromise our choice of breakfast cereal in the morning!

Wounding a weaker brothers conscience!

Our research robot monkeys happened to come across the following book The Church In A Pagan Society: Studies In 1 Corthians by David Ewert)…we believe that this is FOR NON-DISCERNMENTALISTS. It certainly does not apply to OUR discernmentalist types who research ministries and spell out the absolute truth by damaging the reputations of others with our highlights on quotes and particular readings on them. This is what it states based on 1 Cor 8:

“When someone sits against his brother by wounding his conscience, when it is weak, he really sins against Christ. Paul had learned that truth first when he was on the way to Damascus to persecute Christians. When the voice from heaven asked: “Saul, Saul, why do you persecute me?” it dawned on him that to hurt Christ’s followers is to hurt Christ. So inextricable is Christ bound up with his own that to wound a Christian, weal … is to wound Christ.( p84)”

Upon reviewing this I have determined that this is either

a) NOT written for discernmentalists (which should be obvious)

or

b) David Ewert is an obvious apostate that must be rebuked for attempting to chastise (in a non-descript way) discernmentalists.  Discernmentalists do not need to be held accountable because we already have and know the truth. We are uncorrectable because we are chosen to judge discern EVERYONE else.

Destroying reputations is a holy thing, if you call it a ministry.

Remember, when you want absolute certainty…..absolute answers Truthslayer is here….never fear (except fear emergents, liberals, Muslims and the homeless)