Everyday we make up develop new technology and lie and gossip bring you the latest news about the people we deem heretics. In fact, I was talking to a disciple of Eric Barger just yesterday I gave this question to.
Who is the heretic? Brian McLaren or Glenn Beck?
She responded in a knee jerk immediately with this! “Brian!” and then cited a video made by Eric Barger. I then asked her if she had read anything by Brian McLaren and she did not reply… but she stated after I pointed out that Glenn Beck was a Mormon that she did not agree with that, but agree 99% with everything else he said!
We praise God that this woman bows the knee to Caesar and understands the Constitution was handed down by God Himself. We cheer that she believes the USA is in fact, the very Kingdom Jesus preached about in the Bible.
Yes, Discernment Ministries like ours is making a difference. People no longer do research or think for themselves when we have our ministries around as well as those we have place in high power on the radio to convolute God’s truth bring you political truth. Soon the world will be run by us and no one will have to discern anything because you have given all over to us. For the rest of you who resist? We will use force if we have to.
Every true discernmentalist knows that there is the BIBLICAL VERSION of how things ought to be (and that is the ONLY WAY), and the unbiblical way (how things ought NOT to be). The biblical way is ALWAYS the way we understand it. For instance, according to Take A Stand Ministries (TSM), the emerging church is bad (ie self styled):
“Their unorthodox view of the Christian faith, including doctrine and solo scriptura, aided in drawing many who were seeking a self-styled Christianity rather than the biblical version.”
I’m forced to repeat myself, only because I love to see myself type. We KNOW as discernmentalists that there is THE biblical version and the non-biblical version of things (there can be only ONE way). Therefore there are the self-stylists (bad), and the biblical version which is pure (good - ie Take a Stand, and ODMafia).
We believe that Eric Barger’s Take A Stand Ministries possesses (in a non demonic way) the TRUE BIBLICAL VERSION of True Biblical Orthodox standards. But before this great standard of truth…who stemmed the tide of self-styled Christianity?
WHICH ONE was NOT self-styled based and therefore based on TRUE “Biblical Belief”?
Menno Simons (definitely not because he is a Mennonite)? John Calvin? John Knox? John Wesley? Martin Luther? Charles Haddon Spurgeon? The Methodists? The Anglicans (High Church or Low Church)? Baptists? Congregationalists? Jesus Movement? Evangelical Lutherans? or how about John MacArthur’s mega-church? Or how about the other 1,000 Protestant denominations that have their ‘self-styled Christianity’ and decided to split? (Obviously to avoid self-styled Christianity)
Each had a style. Apparently Only ONE can be Biblical…and not be ‘styled.’
So which one is it?
Discernmentalists never make mistakes so we trust that TSM has the answer.
Truthslayer
PS Please be warned we don’t want you to turn out to have another self styled Barry Manilow Ministry!
“Never again will you be capable of ordinary human feeling. Everything will be dead inside you. Never again will you be capable of love, or friendship, or joy of living, or laughter, or curiosity, or courage, or integrity. You will be hollow. We shall squeeze you empty and then we shall fill you with ourselves. “
We love George Orwell.
We could not have said it better ourselves… actually we could have…110% better actually. Everyone needs discernmentalist skills, and to execute such gifts one must excise themselves of love, friendship or loyalty. Remember, EVERYONE is a potential enemy, because we are engaged in a TRUTH WAR. Its about flesh and blood not principalities and powers. We all know what we are supposed to do with enemies: hate them. There are all sorts of false doctrines (ie propositional beliefs) floating around that we must challenge and correct (its our calling and bible based duty). Therefore hating is a must. We don’t need balanced thought. We don’t need a loving analysis of our enemies…because we have PURE DOCTRINES. We need to pound them (almost anyone who makes a doctrinal mistake) into the ground so that they will be incapable of repentance or a response….they must be shocked into submission (ie admitting we are right)
We need to spy, pounce, and attack!!!!! Keep it up folks. Remember its not slander, its a truth war.
Using the Eric Barger Take A Stand Bible Based Satellite System (BS) as a filter to re-translate the very difficult emerging church post-modern language we were able to deduce what they are REALLY saying:
Filter ON:“We don’t believe Jesus is the true God, but rather we are the center of all truth….which really does not exist. We are our own mediators, and we have license to re-write the bible. We are against discernmentalists, and don’t really believe that Jesus is the true mediator. We also plan to take over the world with a new age agenda and self styled religion“ WITHOUT our special translation device built into Take A Stand’s BS system the common reader would not perceive this whatsoever… you would be deceived into believing that GATEWAY believes that Jesus is true God and true man conceived by the Holy Spirit. We know this is NOT true because Emerging Church goers cannot be true believers… God’s grace does not extend that far. Grace only extends to discernmentalists and traditional churches that agree with discernmentalist doctrines.
there are those among us that want us to research using highly regarded books, careful thinking, and prayer to understand the nature of an opposing argument. In other words they suggest that straw manning an opponent is unbiblical. We EMPORE you to think FEARLY, NOT CLEARLY. If you don’t fear what you don’t understand, how will you be able to attack and undermine the said subject? Fear is the only thing that drives us to true discernment. Fear drives out all love and allows us to hate our enemies properly.
Now, we can include John Piper to the list of heretics! We are so happy to find someone who is as well known as John Piper and rejoice that Brannon Howse is getting the word out about how horrible Piper really is! Brannon Howse is known for his radio show where he rails against about everything indiscriminately! He is also know for his praise and worship fundraisers against Rick Warren with the help of his friend and ASSOCIATE, Marty Goetz. (For some reason Brannon Howse can overlook that Marty performs at Purpose/Seeker Driven Churches… but for now we will overlook Brannon’s lapse of discernment for performing with Purpose/Seeker Driven Church supporter, Marty Goetz (Marty performed at a Purpose/Seeker Driven church in Monterey Ca. in the late 1990′s). Maybe one day Brannon Howse will see his error in this and we will have a separation of the sheep and Goetz?
Now, what does John Piper have to say about all this… who cares, but here is his explanation.
Now, who are you going to believe? Known heretics or us?
The ODMafia has just revealed our newest secret weapon. After years of being called “watchdogs” we have combined the DNA of Fido, our faithful house pet and some DNA secretly collected from various ODM’s across the globe. Finally, we have success! Here is the hybrid watchdog! After a bit more training, our newest watchdog will be ready to sniff out heresy near you!
In an updated ABC broadcast MIT scientists from an underground bunker have been studying discernmentalist logic.Discernmentalist logic is a bit like studying quantum physics, but far more mysterious and random. With new results, discernmentalist logic defies all sensibilities turning black white, spotted dogs into striped cats and from here all know logic collapses under its own weight of infinite dense-ity. Bob Loblogs an MIT scientists notes “…its unlike anything I’ve ever seen. Nothing makes sense and when it does, it appears to change trajectory at will.” Nevertheless, our safety net is that we are bible-believing-republical-Christians who shun post-modernism and the emerging church….which really counts for something!
We at the ODMafia are glad that WE discernmentalists have an elite, and perplexing form of logic…. that we defy the odds and yet still valiant for the truth!
The ODMafia is certain one thing, that is of our certainty. We advocate enlightenment thinking to arrive at our absolute biblical doctrines while at the same time rallying against modernism., while imbibing modernism to attack post-modernism. If you think that is confusing, try following our line of logic or any of our colleagues such as Eric Barger’s Take A Stand Ministries, Apprising Ministries, Slice of Laodicea and more! Think of us as the security system of the doctrinal world, only those who believe in absolute certainty get the green lite and are part of the truth.
Ultimately, we rest on reason rather than revelation…. although we’ll never admit that because it would circumvent absolute certainty…. we are certain of this
We are proud to sponsor the New Conservative Bible. In fact, here is an animation we truly feel is inspired by our DOCTRINES and God! This is how OUR Jesus would have acted like and taught.
Before you get all bent out of shape, please realize this is a satire site spoofing the so-called "discernment ministries" who deem themselves more worthy of Grace than the rest of us. So read and have fun! BTW, we are not against "good" discernment ministries that do actual real research and extend grace to others, only the bad ones.
Posted by itodyaso 
