Be A Literalist!: Part 1

May 11, 2010

We must set the record straight—- the Bible is the Literal Word of God. What this Literally means is that the human words which make up the Bible contain the Literal mind of God. We Know as we were there when God Literally dictated them to humanity. Our field agent Brainiac further explains:

The Bible is a book of words and those words are to be interpreted according to their literal sense, which means in the same sense that the author understood them. This is a principle called the Sensus Literalis, and it is an important rule of hermeneutics. If we do not interpret the words in the same sense as the author, then we obscure the author’s meaning and impose our own. If we read our own meaning in the place of God’s meaning; then we are no longer reading God’s word but our own. Therefore, we must take care to interpret the Bible literally.

We interpret the Bible literally by following the ordinary rules of language; a noun is to be read as a noun, a verb as a verb, and so on. No matter what we read or in what language we read it, a statement is always a statement and a question is always a question.

Utilizing our Absolute Biblical Certainty and our Discernmentalist logic, we will show you how to apply a literal hermeneutic to the Bible:

 This is literally Jesus:

This also is literally Jesus:

And here is something else that is literally Jesus:

Stay tuned for part 2 of our exhilirating fresh new course straight from the bowels of the GOIP Online Discernmentalist Bible-Literalist Institutes aka LifeWay Press!


Don’t miss this!

May 11, 2010

True star power! This movie stars Truthslayer, and other “little people” that truthfully (because that is all I can speak) don’t really count.This is not like all those pagan movies….this is about the bedrock truths. Absolute truth cloaked in awkward dialogue, plot twists that would astound pre-schoolers but always family safe.

In this movie I strive for truth…as always I can do no less.

I clash over truth.

I fight for truth.

I slander for truth.

I malign for truth.

And last but not least….I lie for truth’s sake. We also recommend other classic truth-movies.

Truthslayer

PS If you see this movie MORE than THREE times we will award you an honourary ODMafia Certificate of Discernmentalism.


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