John MacArthur Declared The First Ever Discernmentalist Pope!

 

John  MacArthur aka Pope Pyro after being elected to the position of the first ever Pope of Discernmentalists! Photo courtesy of Pyromaniac Archives. Photographer: Ken Silva.

(Annoying News: a  ministry of disseminating misinformation, lies and slander while apprising everyone to follow only the cults of celebrity in the Discernmentalist World )–  Normally we are against all things Roman Catholic except in special circumstances ie. our dependence on Saint Augustine’s interpretation of Aristotelian philosophy or R. C.  Sproul’s love of Aquinas. This is one of those times when these special circumstances may be applied against our normative Absolute Rules. After Discernmentalists  declared John MacArthur 100% infallible by a voting margin of 100-0 this Jan., it was proclaimed that the logical  conclusion of this recent  event was to elect MacArthur the first ever Discernmentalist Pope.

Ken Silva reports: “Indeed the word infallible applied to any person can only signify that one  has elicited the status of Pope-hood other than that infallibility must only be applied to our  Holy Inerrant Bible—the Only True Word of God.” 

Vicki, a typical McArthurite reacts to the news of the election of MacArthur as the first Discernmentalist Pope ever: 

Anyone who disagrees with John MacArthur on any point of Doctrine is just full of arrogance and condensation.

My understanding of the doctrine of election is not at all sinful–John MacArthur told me so.

Trusting too much to history and too little to the teaching of scripture would have left us in Rome–John MacArthur told me so.

There is a price a godly man must pay to be heard, that price is humility and respect.
If a man wants an audience to listen to his doctrine-he would do well to heed the following!

” Remind them to be submissive to rulers and authorities, to be obedient, to be ready for every good work, to speak evil of no one, to avoid quarreling, to be gentle, and to show perfect courtesy toward all people.”
Titus 3:1-3 (ESV).— (Source).

Ken Silva asked Phil Johnson aka Pastor Hugh Jass or Spurgeon’s clone, MacArthur’s flunky lacky hindquarters right-hand man about his boss’s election to Discernmentalist Pope-hood. Phil responded: “Deep down I always knew that this day would come when he (MacArthur) would be elected Pope over all Discernmentalists and the Truth Wars as the #1 Truth Truth Warrior of Absolute Truth. I wholeheartedly support the recent vote on the infallibility of my boss and his election to the office of Discernmentalist Pope.”

Ken Silva pressed the rest of the fine, outstanding, Discernmentalist-minded and Biblically based Pyromaniacs crew: Frank Turk and Dan Phillips et al. on their thoughts but they were unavailable to comment.

————————————————————————-

Ken Silva is the exclusive  author of Annoying News. He is a Master Discerner of all. When he is not discernmentalizing the 99% of humanity who do not agree with him, you can usually  find him preaching to the choir of the small Southern Baptist Church of 8 members that he pastors. Sometimes he uses a Truth Rod–although this may just be a rumor.

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5 Responses to John MacArthur Declared The First Ever Discernmentalist Pope!

  1. rzhblog says:

    This blog is playing with fire when it does satire of the parrots of the Spiritual Discernment Pope John MacArthur.

    I find it funny when a Baptist like Dan Phillips calls his blog “Biblical Christianity”. As if one of the Baptist sects of the Baptist group that loves to create their own version of Christianity can say that his particular man-made version of what it means to be Baptist is “Biblical Christianity”. James White plays the same game as he is simply another Baptist using the Bible to create his particular version called Reformed Baptist.

    I wish all Reformed Baptist would truly reform and become Presbyterians or Lutherans.

  2. rzhblog says:

    By the way, I love the satire as I am sick of parrots of Pope John MacArthur. Thus says John MacArthur and I simply respond perhaps you need to read a Bible that doesn’t have John MacArthur’s opinions as footnotes. Amazing how the footnotes of the NKJV MacArthur Study Bible got Steve Camp in trouble as the NASB MacArthur Study Bible didn’t support his attack on Tim Keller. Steve Camp has got to be one of the biggest parrots of John MacArthur in the wacky world of spiritual discernment on the internet.

    John MacArthur appears to be like a god in the world of spiritual discernment. If John MacArthur said it; then it has to be true …. and I simply respond since when did Grace Community Church become the Spiritual Discernment Vatican. I wait for Grace Community Church to have a representive like the Pope does at the United Nations.

  3. Victoria says:

    Well thanks for the traffic I am getting from here.

    Sorry you could not discern the fact that my comments above abut JM were made tongue in cheek. Hum, a satire site that does not recognize satire.

  4. itodyaso says:

    We are just staying consistent to the ODM world view… thanks for contributing. We will pass on your comments to the great and powerful Phil Johnson (aka Pastor Hugh Jass) who will discern whether you are truly regenerate or not.

    iTodyaso

  5. Victoria says:

    ROFL–thanks for a good laugh!

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