“The REAL Purpose of the Church.”

 

Eric Barger reveals “The REAL Purpose of the Church” by giving a sneak preview of what’s in store for all True ODM Churches in these Last Days. What’s in store for all Pure ODM Churches taking a stand for Absolute Truth you may ask? Why! Nothing but the blessed rapture! (Thanks to one of our Reasearch Robot Monkeys for catching this).

However we are not quite satisfied with that answer as we are not quite in the Last Days of this Great Tribulation of Emergent apostasy—because of this we must continue to stand for Truth so that we will be ready—Rapture Ready when the blessed rapture occurs before Jesus returns and comes to slay all the non-Elect unregenerate reprobates.

Are you ready? Here is our list of what one must do to be ready in order to prepare for the blessed rapture

  • Unconditionally support every act of Israel even their acts of terrorism
  • Unconditionally support USA-brand Imperialism
  • Vote Obama and every Democrat out of office
  • Smoke a Spurgeon-approved cigar
  • Buy 667 copies of John MacArthur’s book The Truth War: Fighting for Certainty in an Age of Deception and leave one copy everywhere you go just in case one of the regenerate predestined Elect accidently stumbles upon a copy and awakens to their status of being among the regenerate predestined Elect
  • Outlaw all abortion and homosexuality
  • Use only a King James AV1611 Bible or ESV
  • Burn any copy of Rick Warren’s Purpose Driven Life, Brian McLaren’s books or any other Emergent type book that you come across preferably while performing a Bible-Based animal sacrifice or while  burning Emergent heretics themselves 
  • Read only the Online Discernmentalist Mafia, The Official Blog Of God’s Only Inerrant Party, Ken Silva and other ODMs to get your facts]
  • Continue to be ever-vigilant and ever-valiant in your stand for our Absolute Biblical Truth
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2 Responses to “The REAL Purpose of the Church.”

  1. Jesus Reyes says:

    All except insertion of the self serving plug of this blog which is ridiculous and probably idolatrous, this is a very handy list. I am assuming that this is also what one must do to be saved.

    Like

  2. truthslayer says:

    What godly person would not support imperialism and oppression?

    Like

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