Science Free!!!

July 7, 2010

Introducing new science free light bulbs that are powered only by biblical faith. If it does not light up you can pretty much kiss your back end good bye – you lack faith and are likely not fit for heaven. We guarantee that these special light bulbs will NOT work with Roman Catholics, liberals, post-moderns, emergents and Rob Bell. We are confident that true believers (that is us and other online discernmentalist ministries) could light up entire crates of these special bulbs.

Order now and get a pair of free steak knives with every purchase!

Truthslayer

2 Comments | Post-modern, Post-modern unbelievers, Proof, Rob Bell, Science, Secrets/Closet, secular, Spiritual Terrorists, Spirituality, splotch of a spotted swine varmint, Spread the fear, spread the hate | Permalink
Posted by truthslayer

ODM Science Lesson # 2

July 7, 2010

 Continuing our Pure Science series:

2 Comments | Absolute Biblical Truth, Absolute Clarity, absolute truth, Absolutely Certain Truth, american gospel, anger, Aperising Minsitries, atheism, Backbone, bananas for Jesus, Bible-Based Tests, Bibliolatry isn't idolatry, Buy me, circular argument, coercion of faith, Creationism=Absolute Truth Biblical Science, Der Führer speaks, Discernmentalese, Discernmentalist Preparatory Test, Dividing the Sheep and goats., ear tickles, Easy-Believism, Elitists, False vs. True Converts, fear mongering, freakin' liberals!, Go therefore and Blog!, Hatin' secular authors who write spiritual themed books, I am in fact an idiot!, ignorance is bliss, it's all about me, judging others for fun and profit, natural disasters (Wrath of God), Nothing But The Truth Films, ODM Science, Oh that smell, Post-modern unbelievers, Rapture believers, Republicans are natural christians, Science, seeing clearly, setting the standard, sinners, so get over it!, spread the hate, strawman, STRETCH Technology, take a stand, The Rapture, they will know we are Christians by our pure doctrine, Ways of the Master Discernmentalist, We are not idiots you reprobates., weird science | Tagged: , , , , , | Permalink
Posted by donjobson

Bible Monkey Finally Embraces The Truth War Through Our Gentle Coercion

July 7, 2010

 

We would like to welcome Bible Monkey to our Fold. Thanks to our Clear Teachings and expository preaching of John MacArthur’s Truth War Doctrines, Bible Monkey finally decided to embrace our Truth Wars.  H0pefully we will soon gently coerce Bible Monkey into bowing down before our Pure Doctrines of John MacArthur’s Truth War but until then we still cannot reconcile with Bible Monkey.

We have high hopes for  Bible Monkey though as Bible Monkey already demonstrates the Absolute Biblical Truth of our Pure Doctrines as Bible Monkey is:

  • Totally captivated by our Clear Teachings
  • Unable to resist sitting under our feet
  • Learning to study our Truth War ways
  • Irresistably drawn to our expositions of Absolute Gospel Truth
  • Perfectly enslaved to our Great Merciful Loving and Graceful God’s Law and Wrath towards sinners

4 Comments | Absolutely Certain Truth, american gospel, Answers in Genesis, Aperising Minsitries, Arminians go to hell, bananas for Jesus, Bible Monkey, bow, but it is really all about me!, can't you smell that smell?, Christians for torture, coercion of faith, colon blow, Contemplative Prayer/Spirituality, Contempt, Contenplative spirituality, Couches and Candles, Counter-Discernmentalists, Creationism=Absolute Truth Biblical Science, cult of celebrity, Defemation, Discernmentalese, Discernmentalist, Discernmentalist Preparatory Test, Don Jobson and Truthslayer approved, Elect vs. non-Elect, Elitists, evilution, Evolution?: Pseudo-science, exercise, filthy stinky dirty water, First Calvinist Church of the Non-Elect, Friendly Welcome, Give us all your Money!, Gloom and dispair, Go therefore and Blog!, God's Absolute Sovereign Wrath, God's Only Inerrant Party, Heresy Hunters, Honorary Certificate, John Macarthur, manimals, puppet church, Pure Doctrines, Reconciliation?, Research Robot Monkeys, sound bible teaching, Submit unto Thy Governments!, Yes | Tagged: , , , | Permalink
Posted by donjobson

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