How To Tell If Your Church Supports The Truth War

 

Use  these easy steps to find out if your church fully supports John MacArthur and his Truth War©®™ or not: We here believe that in order to be a Truly ODM-approved Church, your church must support the Truth Wars 100%—and to be extra-biblical in defending Truth go to “church three times a week.” Of course, we’re also all about the rules. Rules, Rules, Rules—you can’t have a True Truth War without a list of rules to follow as Truth requires discipline and self-righteousness. You may be fit for a Truth War/ODM Church if you take part in any of the following things, activities or beliefs:

 The Christian school you attended was connected to your church/cult, or you were home-schooled. Your church was committed to the “Doctrine of Separation” and strong discipline. You believed Billy Graham was the “bad guy” and that all other churches and religious organizations were disobedient and in “sin.” Your church also controlled nearly every aspect of your life. Your family may have even needed to get permission from the pastor before going on vacation (if you dared leaving in the first place). If you are female (heaven forbid), you most likely wore long skirts and the IFB ODM-Approved modest clothing item known as “culottes” most of your life whenever you went in public (you even went swimming in them).

You  may already be in a Truth War-supporting Church if you or your pastor is either for or against any of the following points:

1. “Bus Ministry”
2. “Soul-winning”
3. Gospel tracts
4. King James Onlyism
5. “The Bible says, ‘Touch Not God’s Anointed’ and that means ME!”
6. “Pants on women is sinful!”
7. “Christian Contemporary worship music is demonic!”
8. “Rock music played backwards tells you to kill your parents!”
9. “Going to the cinema is a sin!”
10. “Billy Graham has done more damage to the cause of Christ than any other man alive! He’s a heretic!”
11. Screaming, ranting, and raving pastors
12. Hellfire and brimstone sermons
13. You used to enjoy reading the book, “Me, Obey Him?” and thought the points made about wifely obedience were spot on.
14. “Women are to be in submission and obedient to their husbands at all times!”
15. “Women are to keep silent in the church.”
16. “A woman’s proper place is pregnant, barefoot, and in the kitchen.”
17. “I don’t care if she says she was beaten and molested. She’s just BITTER!”
18. “Well, good, godly men get accused falsely of molestation all the time now-a-days by people who hate what they stand for.”
19. “I don’t care if she was 15 and he was 50, she was well known for wearing provocative clothing. And how do we really know who is telling the truth”?
20. “Black people have the ‘mark of Cain’.”
21. “What do you mean we’re racist? We just ban interracial dating/marriage and use the Bible as our proof text to do so. That’s not ‘racism,’ that’s the BIBLE!”
22. “Any counseling by a professional psychologist is of the devil! I don’t care if they claim to be a Christian. If they are licensed and not a part of our group, they are not godly counselors. They are secular humanists ready and waiting to accuse every good man of doing something wrong. They want to see the destruction of the true church!”
23. You walked the church aisle approximately 15 times to become “born again, again.”
24. You spent tens of thousands of dollars for a college degree that means nothing in your professional field, but you console yourself with the idea that you walked away knowing how to make your bed, take out the trash, hang up your clothes, wear sharp suits and talk a good game.
25. You were beaten bloody, but your “will was never broken.” As a matter of fact, your “will” is stronger now than it ever was and you’re happy about it.
26. Tent/revival meetings
27. The prohibition of dancing (It’s carnal, you know!)
28. Your parents inscripted Bible verses in the wooden “rod” they used to beat you with.
29. Annoying choirs, and special music
30. That darn organ…
31. Alter Calls
32. Tithing…”If you aren’t giving 10% of your income to the church, you’re stealing from the LORD!”
33. The Sinner’s Prayer
34. Street Preaching
35. Protests/picketing with signs that urged people to repent.
36. “College is so much more than getting a degree for a professional career. College is about experiences and learning discipline and training, and who better to train you than us”?
37. “No good Christian needs to learn about things like psychology and feminism! Those are devilish movements!”
38. “We don’t need the governments approval (but, shh, don’t tell anyone in the group that we’re taking their money!).”
39. “Santa is really Satan in disguise!”
40. “Halloween is Lucifer’s day!”
41. “Old Church Hymns only!”
42. “The King James Bible is the perfect, inspired, literal, inerrant word ‘a God, and there isn’t a single translational mistake in it.”
43. “If you aren’t in a King James Bible-believing, Independent Fundamentalist Truly Reformed Calvinist Presbyterian Baptist Church, you are on your way to hell.”
44. You attended what you thought was a University, then realized you got a bogus degree and were shocked to learn that it was nothing more than the “Jones’ Family For Profit Business.”
45. You have an unaccredited “college” degree, which means nothing in the “real world.”
46. “And who cares if the rest of the world goes to college to get a professional/usable degree? If the rest of the world jumped off a bridge, would you want to do that too”?
47. Large families/no birth control
48. Phony Ph.D.s
49. “If you’re gay…get out of here! We don’t want ‘your kind’ around our kids!”
50. Your father/family member has an honorary doctorate from the college/university or institution he works for.
51. Lowest salaries in the US for employees in the IFB. As a matter of fact, now that you think about it, the employees in the IFB make less than the missionaries to Africa that you are currently supporting.
52. Being told, “You’re just bitter” and “not right with God” when you leave.
53. Getting ostracized by your family and friends for leaving the group.
54. You were a guy/girl beaten mercilessly in an unlicensed group home.
55. You ran away from one of these group homes.
56. You were one of the girls sent to a group home for “rebellion,” but all you really wanted was to simply wear a pair of pants.
57. No mixed swimming.
58. Culottes
59. Chick Tracts
60. Patch the Pirate
61. Character Sketches
62.”Steve Green is a wolf in sheep’s clothing.”
63. Patriarchy…keep that woman in her place!
64. You could make four times less than you are making now, while doing four times the work if you decided to go back.
65. You had nightmares as a child from the overused “Left Behind” videos in your church.
66. Dating parlors and super slides (while wearing culottes).
67. and much, much more!

68. You may also fit into the group well if you once attended or were reared/trained under materials available through:

  • Bob Jones University (Greenville, SC)
    Pensacola Christian College (Pensacola, FL)
    Hyles-Anderson College (Hammond, IN)
    Advanced Training Institute-Bill Gothard
    Quiverfull
    Vision Forum
    Above Rubies
    Creation Research Institute
    The Wilds Christian Camp
    The Bill Rice Ranch
    The Roloff Homes
    No Greater Joy

69. Your spiritual gurus at one time in your life were most likely:

  • Bob Jones Jr.
    Bob Jones III
    John R. Rice
    Arlin Horton
    Jack Hyles
    Jack Schaap
    Bill Gothard
    Doug Phillips
    Kent Hovind
    Lester Roloff
    Sam Gipp
    Bob Gray
    Peter Ruckman
    Michael Pearl
    Ron Comfort
    Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar
    Stephen l. Anderson
    Fred Phelps
    or any other man who received a phony doctorate from one of the “colleges/universities” in the IFB.

70.  Your Christian school or homeschool curriculum was from:

  • Bob Jones Press
    Abeka Books (Pensacola Christian College)
    Advanced Training Institute (Bill Gothard)
    School of Tomorrow (ACE)

71. Independent Fundamental Baptist Girls and Boys Group Homes:

  • Anchor Character Training Center (Iowa)
    Calvary Boys Ranch, Boarding Academy (Oklahoma)
    Haven of Hope Girls Academy (Maryland)
    Happiness Hill Home (Texas)
    Heritage Boys Academy (Florida)
    Hephzibah House (Indiana)
    Joshua Scott Boarding School (West Virginia)
    Jubilee Home for Ladies (Texas)
    Lighthouse Children’s Home (Missouri)
    Marvelous Grace Girls Academy (Alabama)
    Reclamation Ranch (Alabama)
    Shenandoah Boys Ranch (Tennessee)
    Shenandoah Girls Haven (Tennessee)
    Shining Light School for Boys (North Carolina)
    Victorious Valley Homes (South Carolina)
    William Seth Rochester Home for Children (South Carolina)
    Willow Valley Boarding Academy and Camp (Ohio)
    The Ark Youth Shelther (South Carolina)
    New Bethany Boys Home (Alabama)
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9 Responses to How To Tell If Your Church Supports The Truth War

  1. How To Tell If Your Church Supports The Truth War…

    I found your entry interesting do I’ve added a Trackback to it on my weblog :)…

  2. benjamin ady says:

    Itodyaso–wow. you so nailed it on this one. I found myself grinning hugely as I recognized item after item after item from my formative years. You made my day. You rock! Thanks =)

  3. itodyaso says:

    As much as I could easlily take the credit as I mentored Don Jobson and made him who he is today, Don Jobson is the author of this post. I have been laid up in my latest cruz line venture that seems to have sunk.

  4. Teresa says:

    Just to correct a few things:
    The New Bethany Boys Home wasn’t in Alabama. The two children’s homes owned and operated by the infamous Mack Ford were both in Louisiana. THe girls home in Arcadia, and the boys home in Longstreet. Of course, the Longstreet home was eventually shut down by the state, and Mack moved it to Walterboro, SC. The man appointed to run the Longstreet facility, Olen King, ended up being convicted of child abuse, and now operates Second Chance Ranch/King Family Ministries in Danbury, NC. As far as Alabama goes, Jack Patterson, the director of Reclamation Ranch, after going to court for child abuse,had his boys home in Empire, Al closed down. Last we heard, he is looking to procure property near Dayton, OH to reopen his boys home. If you need any links to substantiate any of this, you have my e-mail address. I have volumes of information.

  5. Teresa says:

    if I could make a correction, the WALTERBORO (not Longstreet) facility was run by Olen King.

  6. T Larkins says:

    Dude, sounds like you are practicing your on brand of separation. I hope you have found closure.

  7. kittybrat says:

    Thank you for this witty and unfortunately true post.
    I laughed out loud with recognition to way too many of these on your list.
    May I suggest you add to your New Bethany listing, the New Bethany Home for Girls in Arcadia Louisiana, and Long Street Academy for Boys.
    Keep up the great work!

  8. Teresa says:

    “If you have been the victim of (sexual) abuse by Mack Ford (or any employee of the New Bethany Girls/Boys Home, Arcadia or Longstreet, La/Walterboro, SC) please contact the FBI in Shreveport, LA at (318) 861-1890. Your call will remain anonymous.”

    http://biblemadness.wordpress.com/2013/06/03/changes-in-louisiana-statutes-of-limitations/

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