Porn-Surfer!

            (The Whore Of Babylon rides a red surfboard)

We used Eric Barger’s new R. I. C. K. S. H. A. W. (Reconnaissance Inquiry Computing Konspiracies Seeking Heretics’ Apostasy [TRUTH] Warhead) in order to write this movie review:

Porn-Surfer is the newest popular “feel good” secular film with the sole motivational purpose of promoting lust. Porn-Surfer tells the story of  an immodestly bikini clad preteen surfer who still surfs and dresses immodestly even after God punishes her with His Absolute Sovereign Wrath by sending a shark to bite off one of her arms. To further add to the sinful rebellion of the main character—”Even though Bethany is only 13 years old, we see no repercussions for her prideful rebellion against her parents; instead, everyone heads out the door with a cheerful kiss and goodbye. There is no discussion of danger, no talk of deception, no rebuke, and no consequence.“

Talk about humanistic arrogance and pride! Porn-Surfer not only seems to be all about lust but also promotes a man-centered; God-hating;  ear-tickling; grace-hating man-loving  Semi-Pelagian Arminianist worldview. (And we all know where the heresy of Arminianism came from as it was the false gospel of Satan from the Garden as Arminianism is the root of all evil—not only that Arminianism leads back to it’s equally heretical forerunner: Romanism and Popery)! An example of the Arminianist bent of this movie is how Bethany’s “passion for surfing” supercedes her need for a Savior such as how she always fulfills the selfish desires of her sinful flesh first before even giving a thought to pleasing her Absolute Sovereign Savior.

Another example of the ear-tickling man-pleasing ways of the Bethany character: “…(her) arriving late for a seaside church service, Bethany throws a cover-up over her wet bikini, and takes a seat. As family and friends finish singing “Blessed Be Your Name,” Bethany continues to gaze out over the ocean, seeming to long for the waves. One of the first questions she asks her father after the accident is, “When can I surf again?” Pure man-centered-ness at it’s worse! Not only is this Pure Arminian babble but also filled with Purpose-Driven heresy which is a total mischaracterization of the Gospel for as John MacArthur (P. B. U. H.) always says: “this life should always be purposeless and that’s the Absolute Gospel Truth.”

Our Research Robot Monkeys also noted of this smutty film: “The immodesty throughout the film is significant, as nearly the entire movie takes place on the beach where most of the women wear skimpy swimwear and the men go shirtless. The surfing scenes are particularly problematic as bikini-clad surfers are filmed curving around the waves from various compromising angles. Though there are no “sex scenes,” the nearly constant display of beautiful, tan, near-naked young Hollywood actresses still make sex an issue. If a man would find it difficult not to lust sitting at a crowded beach watching beautiful women in bikinis walk by, then he will probably have a hard time with this movie. Pornography is a real issue and men who are struggling with this sin know the importance of avoiding giving provision to the flesh.

But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh, to fulfill its lusts. (Romans 13:14)

It is important to recognize that we live in a sex-saturated culture. Many men, Christian men, struggle daily with internet pornography.”

In conclusion, this is the typical Emerging film for Emergent and YRR type sinners who seek new lows in order to  justify their wicked depravity and God-hating rebellion. This movie is nothing more than sinful pornographic Arminian Papist filth. It is a shame that this film was marketed as a Christian-themed film because of how ungodly it is—there is no redeeming factor whatsoever about this trash as “there was no Gospel (the Glorious Doctrines of Dort) or (even a) redemptive message (for that matter) in the movie. For the record, I don’t think a movie has to be produced (solely) by Christians, or be (totally) about Christians, to glorify God. At the same time, I think it can be produced by Christians, even be (all) about (only) Christians, and still fail to glorify God.”

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