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The Online Discernmentalist Mafia
Protecting The Sovereign God and His Truth from those who are out to destroy the church. A SATIRE/PARODY blog.
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itodyaso
seymorespurgeon
truthslayer
Will Farel XV
donjobson
February 10, 2008 at 11:23 pm |
NO
February 11, 2008 at 12:11 am |
Well, If he is not today, maybe we can catch him tomorrow and start attacking him again. I hope he still cusses though we need someone to attack for being “crass”!
Now, as long as he is still reformed, and by that I mean the “right” kind of reformed that only we Discermentalist know, then we can know for sure he is saved by Grace through faith and not by works and can repent, unlike those unregenerate heathen in the Emergent Village he calls “friends”. I mean what does light have to do with darkness? No one should have an unsaved friend as bad company corrupts good morals and we know that it is our own morals and sense of righteousness that will save this nation and others, By Grace of course… and not by works.
October 5, 2009 at 12:09 pm |
Donald Miller labeled him “the cussing pastor” – Probably because he said ’sucks’ as in ‘this sucks’ – Are you guys that petty? I’ve yet to hear the guy cuss. Please someone shoot me a link with audio or video of Driscoll cussing because I can’t find it anywhere.
If Driscoll is the definition of “crass” for you discernment guys/gals then no one is safe. Discernment is a good thing until you start taking down fellow Christians for your own sense of worth or to get more hits. How do you even read the Old Testament if that kind of stuff offends you?
By the way, if you’re witnessing to someone and they have a cigarette and cuss every now and then – are you going to give up on them before they corrupt your good morals?
March 5, 2008 at 9:49 pm |
Um, I am as against this Emergent Movement as anyone and heretical views, but I must disagree with your statement about no one should have an unsaved friend….that is not biblical at all. Now, I will grant that you should not be hanging out with these unsaved buddies as they can pull you down, but you can have a friend that is not saved…hopefully, by your friendship God will use that to bring that person to Christ. Jesus did not hang out with just “believers”. It is by grace that you or I even make it through each day. Part of the christian life if doing good deeds…not as salvation, but as a result of our salvation…part of good deeds is befriending a lost soul and helping that person see the light of Jesus. Only Christ can regenerate that persons heart of course in order that he might accept Jesus, but God will use us to bring these people along if we are willing.
I certainly hope that statement you made was being funny.
Pressing on in Christ,
S
March 5, 2008 at 10:09 pm |
Scott,
Now let me say it this way, I am a firm believer in eternal security except for heretics like the emergents. It is so obvious that they are not only not saved, but of all people God has chose to UNsave them.
If you do not take this site serious, then you must not take any of us who stand as warrior protecting God Sovereign and all powerful truth from those heretics semi plagiarises. You must take this all serious or you too might be snatched from God’s hands and we might all lose the truth we earnestly war with against all these heretics.
As far as unsaved people, I ask you this… why did you let them slip out of God’s hands and get unsaved? Only Jesus can regenerate them, but if they are un-re-un-regenerated, then I doubt they were saved in the first place. Only we elect are secure and we know the elect becuase some of us “just know Truth”… as our guru leader Ken Silva states.
I suggest you get on your knees and repent that you let you friend become an un-saved friend in the first place and try harder at saving them by Grace in which we stand.
My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me,
I. Todyaso
April 13, 2008 at 9:31 am |
No he’s not. he explains what he calls the “Four Lane Highway” In his sermon about the emerging church. If anyone’s interested in watching that sermon it can be found on the marshill website. It’s under the series “Religon and Nine other Misconceptions” or something like that. http://www.marshillchurch.org/sermonseries/religionsaves/week_08.aspx
There I found the link for it. Watch it.
April 13, 2008 at 3:34 pm |
Kichigaime,
I am sorry, you are so wrong. If you notice that is an old date February 24, 2008 and it seems Mark has recently talked to Tony Jones on the phone since then. That means Mark is still associating with these sinning heretics and has not made up his mind. We know the bible states we need treat unrepentant “so-called” sinners as unbelievers and tax collectors. This means we need preach hell and repentance in hope they are Elect and just do not know it yet, or if they are just backslidden that we (if we could) take them outside the city and stone them.*
Believe me,
I. Todyaso
*See my great teaching post on Biblical stoning.
April 18, 2008 at 12:24 pm |
Are you all serious? What was Christs command to all believers…. to LOVE one another. I dont always agree with everything the emergent guys say but I love them as brothers in Christ. They ask serious questions and they push us all to a deeper faith by questioning what we believe. Why is it so wrong to ask question? What are you so afraid of?
April 18, 2008 at 12:31 pm |
Randy,
1. I refer you to the “Are you serious?” page.
2. Love, love, love sounds more like the Beatles than OUR wrathful and sinner-hating God we represent.
3. If you love an emergent you are GBA* so repent!
Listen to me if you have ears as,
I. Todyaso
*Guilty By Association
April 18, 2008 at 12:37 pm |
I might add that WoTM Radio endorsed Mark Driscoll yesterday, yet I heard he had called Rob Bell as to tell him some of his mail was delivered to the wrong Mars Hill, so Mark still has some Emergent tendencies to overcome.
April 18, 2008 at 1:21 pm |
im sorry… I must have you confused with a Christian blog
April 18, 2008 at 2:32 pm |
Randy,
So much for your “love” statement. And yes you are confused as this is a Discernmentalist Blog. We are more than just a Christian Blog as we represent the God of OUR doctrines.
Have you even looked at the links I suggested? I doubt you have otherwise you would get what is going on here.
Again, go and read a bit more and then make your decision if it is you that need grasp the power of OUR doctrines and OUR wrathful and angry God who hates sinners and unregenerate vessels.
Indeed, I am gifted with long suffering,
I Todyaso
April 18, 2008 at 3:49 pm |
I didn’t say anything in hate at all. So, please don’t assume that. All I stated was that we must be confused with beliefs here because my God and your god clearly aren’t the same. And my view of Christianity is clearly different from yours. Do we read the same Bible? Because your god who hates sinners and all the other venom flowing from your words isn’t in my Bible. All I was stating is clearly we can’t believe in the same thing.
April 18, 2008 at 3:58 pm |
BTW… I did go to the link.
April 18, 2008 at 4:34 pm |
Randy,
My little friend, IF you are having anything to do with Emergents past or present then you are suspect and there is NO CONFUSION. You simply are worshipping a different God that WE are. Pretty simple if you catch on to what is going on here at the Online Discernmentalist Mafia. We surely would not satirize Truth, but we sure would make satire of people that do!
I. Todyaso
April 26, 2008 at 10:53 pm |
Please pray for Mark Driscoll as we just found out he had spent time talking to Ravi Zachariah once and we all know he is not saved but really is a Canadian Hindu (Ravi I mean).
I. Todyaso
August 23, 2008 at 2:17 pm |
HA. Ravi a Canadian Hindu. Funny.
Just arrived here so not sure what to make of you. However, I do need a laugh once in a while as I am one of the serious ones out here…
November 9, 2008 at 7:59 pm |
Christ preached love
itodyazzmuncher reaches Hate
Nuff said!
December 5, 2008 at 6:44 pm |
Driscoll is not emergent. He is emergent bait and switch. Using a style to get young men in the door (young women will follow) then switching to a Hyper-Reformed only picture of following (Mark) and a Bill Gothard like, Fall model for marital relationship dynamics. In this he is heretical. One day the other shoe will fall and the house of cards will crumble…sadly a pile of mislead men and women will be in the path.
October 5, 2009 at 11:54 am |
Jim – maybe Christ is using people of all types of styles to bring others closer to him. These guys might initially be attracted to the personality but are told about Jesus and as far as I’ve heard – not false teachings. As far as him talking about marriage. Every pastor I’ve ever heard has a series on marriage but that’s just a few weeks of the thousands of other sermons that they preach. The emergent church has some ’strange’ philosophy and I would definetly not listen to Driscoll if I ever heard any of those ideas in his podcast and I’ve listened to the whole series – he isn’t perfect and I don’t agree with everything but he isn’t a heretic because young guys like the church.
August 24, 2009 at 12:02 am |
This is absolutely awesome I think believers need
to laugh more we take everything so serious. I mean God created
us so he has some humor at least.
August 24, 2009 at 12:19 am |
I was just informed Mark Driscoll accidentally landed on Ken Silva’s Apprising ministry blog… We have reason to believe that Mark was saved by the Grace of Ken Silva’s holy doctrines tonight… oh well there is always tomorrow.
August 25, 2009 at 12:31 pm |
Jim,
I bow to your discernment of the agenda of this BLOG.
October 5, 2009 at 11:30 am |
no – he’s not emergent. Far from it.
October 5, 2009 at 12:13 pm |
Oh – well – this is satire -okay…disregard my throwing fits earlier.
October 5, 2009 at 4:37 pm |
We are all for throwing fits… if we were monkeys we would throw other things.
I Todyaso
November 21, 2009 at 8:25 pm |
Mark Driscoll appears to be “missional” meaning a follower of Tim Keller. However, many spiritual discernment guides believe that “missional” is a secret code word for “emergent” meaning that both Tim Keller and Mark Driscoll are undercover “emergents” advancing the agenda of “emergents” while claiming to be “missional”.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zFFlSb-Zsc8
However, “missional” persons believe that spiritual discernment guides (watchblogs) are using the works of the flesh to make Chrisianity so ugly that only spiritual discernment guides and their parrots will be saved from eternal Hell fire.
Both John Piper and Mark Driscoll are strongly influenced by Tim Keller. Never underestimate Calvinism packaged in a “missional” label the Tim Keller way. Tim Keller is the PCA (Presbyterian Church in America) secret weapon to take over the USA in the name of conservative Presbyterian-ism. R. C. Sproul was simply like John the Baptist creating the right atmosphere for the appearance of Tim Keller. The Baptist are concerned that the Baptist age in the USA may be over due to Tim Keller and his neo-Baptist version named Mark Driscoll. Baptist spiritual discernment watchblogs are expecting Mark Driscoll to repent of his Baptist beliefs at the right moment to do the maximum damage to Baptist and return to the Presbyterian-ism of John Knox thanks to the Tim Keller influence on Mark Driscoll.
I can send you some monkeys if you desire other things to get thrown without getting your hands dirty.
Keep up the satire and how about some “missional” rumor or better yet …. at least one article on Ken Silva’s girl Friday (Denise of Surph’s Side blog) and Steve Camp’s ex-girl friend. The drama queen of spiritual discernment deserves at least one satire posting on your blog.
Hopefully my spiritual discernment research on the true influence on Mark Driscoll which is Tim Keller not John Piper; will not derail the PCA agenda to make all Christians in the USA a parrot of John Knox.