For our trusty discernmentalist readers…..more discernmentalism to come! We don’t apologize for being gone so long (we never have to apologize because we are never wrong)….we have been fighting for truth and consumerism. Stay tuned….
In a bold move, and all recorded by our research robot monkeys (with the Windows 7 upgrade) have revealed the following “Anne Rice, the bestselling novelist most popularly known for “Interview with the Vampire” and her other creepy vampire novels, announced on Wednesday via Facebook that she has officially renounced Christianity.”
The ODMafia research robot monkeys interviewed iTodyaso who insightfully noted ” I knew that she was all phony in the first place, as a matter of fact novelists are worldly and her hair-do was liberal.” Don Jobson stated emphatically ” We believe that she began reading Rob Bell, or NT Wright and that was the camel that broke the straws back.” When I (the mighty truthslayer was interviewed) I boldly and courageously attacked Anne Rich and her supporters – the liberal-media-elite (which I like to refer to as LAMESTREAM MEDIA).
If this doesn’t make any sense….EITHER DO YOU!
PS we believe the Addams Family photo (on the left) realistically depicts Anne Rice in a vampire relationship with a real life liberal Gomez.
PS PS we urge you to read the Huffington Post….slooooowly.
We at ODMafia are BLACK FRIDAY ready. Discernmentalists traditionally ignore consumerism, capitalism or anything else that would undermine the America Way of Life….and this is with good reason. A true discernmentalist believes that the American Way of Life is the Christian Way of Life. To say one is to accept the other and vice-versa. That is why we have introduced SAFE-BUY. It is a credit card made by discernmentalists for discernmentalists.
The card, carefully engineered will prevent you from buying purchases that could cause you to become a heretic or a liberal. In the event that you mistakenly try to buy NOOMA DVD’s the card will red-flag this purchase and the cashier will be instructed to slap you in the face. Instead you will be directed to purchase bible-believing DVD’s that help you to fear, worry and fret. In addition, you will learn how misquoting speakers will give you impressions that almost everyone in the church is a heretic, giving you the gnostic impression – you and only you have an side track on all things false.
Moreover, discernmentalist DVD’s will help to shape a cartoon, binary universe that will ensure that only those who say “Bible Believing” are the only ones telling the truth. Remember, discenrmentalist DVD’s don’t use the dodgy marketing techniques that other false ministries use, rather only the biblically righteous methods.
Remember this card is patriotic!
PS this card will provide absolute certainty
If your ministry states that they “are bible believing,” then it must be true. Bible believing is code word for believing the bible better, stronger, faster than others…and in particular Roman Catholics, Anglicans, emergents, liberals, NT Wright and Rob Bell (who are really not Christians at all, but false wanna-be-bible believers-who-don’t really want to believe.) I hope that makes sense. If you are not a bible believer you won’t get this.
You won’t catch Rob Bell saying he’s “bible believing,” and we would not believe him regardless.
Stating the phrase “bible believing” often, lots, many times, and more often than others makes you a bonafide hard-core bible-believing-ministry. What other option is there? Remember, saying “bible believing” is a self-fulfilling prophecy. Say it enough and you believe it, even if its not true.
Thus when Eric Barger’s Take A Stand Ministries states “we are bible believing” that means that every time they “discern” another ministry and tear it down, they do so only because they are bible-believing. If they won’t stand up for truth, who would?
In the same way, we at ODMafia are a bible believin’ ministry ourselves trying to get by, with all these ungodly unbiblical ministries (**ROB BELL ALERT**) that we must contend with. We do get some opposition, but this is because legions of darkness are against us because we are simply trying to uphold the simple truth.
How could true bible believers oppose a bible believin’ ministry?
He notes “Now, just as in the “Age of the Apologist” (2nd century AD), when Bible believers rock the boat of the liberals, Emergents, and cultists, etc., particular individuals whose comfort zone has been violated react negatively against us.”
Translation: Rocking the boat equals asking questions about our current biblical assumptions (ie foundationalism, attachment to nationalism & modernism), assuming not everything the Reformers noted as gospel truth, critical thinking, questioning literalism or being pro-peace (which is really a form of anti-christ marxism), opposing strawman arguments and misapprehending truth.
Moreover, if you do not hold to a modernistic biblical worldview….you are a liberal emergent , or just plain emergent or worse (really its all the same, there is no point in any form of critical thinking here). Remember, if you do not agree with Take A Stand Ministries you are categorically a liberal (we support this view).
Don’t rock the boat. Just believe Eric’s Take A Stand Ministries when he states that they “bible believing folk” because that means that those in opposition to straw man attacks, adhominem arguments are simply anti-bible.
Remember we need to use whatever methods work to defend the truth, even if they are not truthful.
We at ODMafia used to think that the Eric Barger’s Take A Stand Ministries truly took a real stand. Just when we thought his great and mighty ministry would proclaim the TRUE purpose of the church (not like other Purpose Driven books)…he let us down.
Don’t believe us….try his purposeless driven link. Sadly this only goes to prove that ODMafia may be the only true bible believing truth proclaimer left on the internet.
“As you know, it is not my goal to try to make everyone happy. That’s not the nature of the work of apologetics. This is not a “warm a fuzzy,” “feel good” ministry and our objective is to expose error,” indeed, this is a feel bad ministry..…the purpose of true ministry. Moreoever “our objective is to expose error, cut through confusion, and examine beliefs and practices both in and out of the Church in the light of biblical truth.” Translation - we teach online-discernmentalist truth, which is truth + lightbulb. In other words online-discernmentalist has extra light, MORE so than everyone else…because its bible based (because we say it is). We cut through stuff no one else can cut. When there isn’t anything to expose we see stuff that isn’t there with the specially built Bible Based Bible Belt decoder & Bible Based Satellite.
But….just a careful reminder, we online-discernmentalists are just simple bible believers….believing the very plain words of God (we wish you could be like us). We will pray for you.
your humble Truthslayer
PS TSM does not use the marketing techniques like other non-bible ministries…but biblical marketing techniques that are ODMafia approved.
With the all new MIND CONTROL SPRAY (researched by ODMAFIA) – you simply apply the spray to any clear thinking person rejects your illogical lines of random and ill conceived thoughts. Whomever is sprayed will begin to succumb to such as phrases as “bible believing,” “absolute biblical truth,” and “bible based, ” as a form of self-affirming circular logic. Because we say its true…it is true Using these phrases coupled with almost any idea imaginable will enable someone under control of the MIND CONTROL SPRAY to appreciate any insight you have as “bible believing” etc. In addition, if you suffer from any latent paranoia regarding the potential for false teaching this will aid in bringing your fears to an entirely new level. With MIND CONTROL SPRAY you will quickly begin referring everyone who does not measure up to your perfect doctrine as unAmerican, unbiblical, liberal, left-wing, emergent, catholic, anglican, liberal-biased, heretic, communist, democrat, socialist, marxist, peaceniks and anti-semite.
Bible based slander is needed in these troubling times….be sure to order yours today!
PS Use two squirts of Mind Control to reduce any peace loving, anti-war sentiment.
We need to harken back to the good ole days when school children prayed in rote (like Muslims) saying the Lord’s Prayer mechanically. Surely this preserved America! …where Bible & Guns went hand in hand, and we didn’t question foreign military conquests or the killing of poor peasants.These were the good ole days of true bible conservatism ….because conservatism is biblical and biblical is conservatism.
During those good ole days when we had prayer in school things were better than today. People believed in old fashioned values like the Vietnam War….and killing gooks because good American Christians believed in such a thing. People believed that blacks should sit at the back of the school bus, and should not use the same water fountain (because we believed in one nation under a white god). Moreover, one nation under god meant the state religion of Christendom (just as the Second Book of Discernmentalism demands)…just like Rome where you could pretend to be a believe and get bestowed all sorts of rights and priveledges. Remember, James Second Epistle? Always be first in line and take the best seat, and use the state to enact your beliefs.
Let us get back to the bible-believing golden age!
All true civil religionists unit! Get prayer back in school, make sure every student owns a gun and make sure they pledge allegiance to the one true God state.
PS Please support theocracy and the Tea Party.
Our every truthful, always discerning Research Robot Monkeys have discovered a lake in Peru: Lake Titicaca. You KNOW as well as I do what this name entails!!!! The name is littered with verbal filth and vulgarity…and our readers should be shielded from this. We are not surprised at all, especially when found in a foreign country. As a matter of fact we believe that there are NO Christians in Peru and therefore would explain why a lake would have such a heinous name. It is probably that there are no Christians in Peru because there are no freedom loving Republicans who live there.
We are encouraging all our faithful discernmentalist brethren to place a ban on Lake Titicaca. In fact we implore you to boycott his lake by taking a stand and NOT going on vacation at Lake Titicaca. We therefore ask Eric’s Take A Stand, Crosstalk, Apprising Ministries, Brannon Howse, Lighthouse Trails, Discerning the World and others to truly fight this until Peru CHANGES the name of this dastardly lake. Let’s strike back at darkness, by proclaiming absolute biblical truth….this is a war worth fighting.
PS IF Peru will not relent on the name change, we will lobby congress to begin lobbing bombs until freedom reigns in Peru!