Love wins people over to heresy!

April 4, 2011

Ladies, Gentleman, and Underlings,  we knew that the fallout from the Rob Bell heretical view of non-hell was going to undermine the truth of scripture and lead many astray (sorry for the lack of grammatical clarity but we are so upset over this news we can’t use punctuation properly) but never did we imagine the magnitude of   the fallout.  Nor did we imagine the swiftness in which the Devil was going to lead people astray.   Nor did we think that our leadership would fall.

What’s the big news?

Hold on to your phylacteries,  bathe in holy water, hide the eyes of the innocent, and prepare the millstones:  R.C. Sproul (a.k.a second in charge [behind John McArthur PBUH] of calvinist dogma doctrine) says GOD IS IN HELL!    I wish we could say that we are making this up,  we wish that we could say that there was some confusion of intent, we wish that we could say wait until the book comes out but we can’t.  The truth is that R.C. Sproul believes firmly that GOD IS IN HELL based on this excerpt from his upcoming book “The place of God’s Disfavor”.

The problem with hell is not simply the absence of God’s graciousness. It is the presence of God that is so difficult. God is present in hell because He is omnipresent. The psalmist declares, “Where can I go from Your Spirit? Or where can I flee from Your presence? If I ascend into heaven, You are there; If I make my bed in hell, behold, You are there” (Ps. 139:7-8). If God is everywhere in His being, then certainly He is in hell as much as He is anywhere else. The problem, then, is what He is doing there. He’s there in His judgment. He is there in His punitive wrath. He is present in hell as the One who executes His justice on those who are there. That’s why I say that anyone who is in hell would most want God, more than anyone else, to leave.

 

Rob Bell says there is no Hell.  R.C. Sproul says God is in Hell.  What next? God is Dead? Only God knows…well…and us.  After all we are discermentalists!


ODM Science Lesson # 6

September 12, 2010

100%  Todd Friel Approved:

P. S. Buy our new anti-science book!


Eric Barger saves planet earth!

July 30, 2010

 

Actual simulation of the event as Eric Barger described it!

In a rare moment of courage, Eric Barger stood up to an actual enemy instead of made up ones! Martians emerged from the sky yesterday and began spreading Martianisms at Eric Barger’s church. In a moment straight out of an H G Wells movie, Eric Barger stopped the evil emerging horde of Martians by… sneezing on them. At first the Martians were just disgusted, then after wiping off the mucus, they read a chapter of Eric Barger’s book on UFO encounters, laughed and determined there was no intelligent life on planet earth. We here at the ODMafia are proud to say that shoddy research saved you and if you keep supporting us, we will keep it coming.


Bible Monkey Finally Embraces The Truth War Through Our Gentle Coercion

July 7, 2010

 

We would like to welcome Bible Monkey to our Fold. Thanks to our Clear Teachings and expository preaching of John MacArthur’s Truth War Doctrines, Bible Monkey finally decided to embrace our Truth Wars.  H0pefully we will soon gently coerce Bible Monkey into bowing down before our Pure Doctrines of John MacArthur’s Truth War but until then we still cannot reconcile with Bible Monkey.

We have high hopes for  Bible Monkey though as Bible Monkey already demonstrates the Absolute Biblical Truth of our Pure Doctrines as Bible Monkey is:

  • Totally captivated by our Clear Teachings
  • Unable to resist sitting under our feet
  • Learning to study our Truth War ways
  • Irresistably drawn to our expositions of Absolute Gospel Truth
  • Perfectly enslaved to our Great Merciful Loving and Graceful God’s Law and Wrath towards sinners

ODM Science Lesson # 1

July 4, 2010

 

Foolish Emergents, athiests, liberal scientists and ignorant Arminians will believe just about anything since they believe Satan and Man are sovereign instead of our loving Lord of Absolute Wrath, the Truth War and Holy Terrorism. Why they even believe in such Satanic and foolish man-made and man-exalting pseudo-scientific theories such as gravity and plate tectonics! Utter hogwash cooked up by a bunch of crackpots! 

Can you imagine anyone so stupid, mentally deceived, twisted and deluded enough to believe in such unprovable and unbiblical theories that have no evidence whatsoever to back them up? We can as we fight the good fight against them daily. Thankfully we have the Top ODM Scientists on our side to set the True Record straight:

P. S. The Truth War against you is still on, Emergent-Evolutionist Bible Monkey!


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