Love wins people over to heresy!

April 4, 2011

Ladies, Gentleman, and Underlings,  we knew that the fallout from the Rob Bell heretical view of non-hell was going to undermine the truth of scripture and lead many astray (sorry for the lack of grammatical clarity but we are so upset over this news we can’t use punctuation properly) but never did we imagine the magnitude of   the fallout.  Nor did we imagine the swiftness in which the Devil was going to lead people astray.   Nor did we think that our leadership would fall.

What’s the big news?

Hold on to your phylacteries,  bathe in holy water, hide the eyes of the innocent, and prepare the millstones:  R.C. Sproul (a.k.a second in charge [behind John McArthur PBUH] of calvinist dogma doctrine) says GOD IS IN HELL!    I wish we could say that we are making this up,  we wish that we could say that there was some confusion of intent, we wish that we could say wait until the book comes out but we can’t.  The truth is that R.C. Sproul believes firmly that GOD IS IN HELL based on this excerpt from his upcoming book “The place of God’s Disfavor”.

The problem with hell is not simply the absence of God’s graciousness. It is the presence of God that is so difficult. God is present in hell because He is omnipresent. The psalmist declares, “Where can I go from Your Spirit? Or where can I flee from Your presence? If I ascend into heaven, You are there; If I make my bed in hell, behold, You are there” (Ps. 139:7-8). If God is everywhere in His being, then certainly He is in hell as much as He is anywhere else. The problem, then, is what He is doing there. He’s there in His judgment. He is there in His punitive wrath. He is present in hell as the One who executes His justice on those who are there. That’s why I say that anyone who is in hell would most want God, more than anyone else, to leave.

 

Rob Bell says there is no Hell.  R.C. Sproul says God is in Hell.  What next? God is Dead? Only God knows…well…and us.  After all we are discermentalists!


ODM Science Lesson # 5

August 12, 2010

 And you thought there  was an end to our science lessons:

P. S. Bible Monkey before you joined us in our Truth War ways we meant this for you—but I guess now we need your help in sending this out to Eugene Peterson. His Message is one of apes and monkeys and New Age Spirituality.


We proudly support them…

July 23, 2010

Taking off where Senator McCarthy should have left alone, we welcome McCarthy Ministries in full partnership with ODMafia. We also believe they if we suspect you of ‘red’ you are probably spiritually dead as well. In fact the only good commie is a dead commie.

How do we define commie?

1) You criticize capitalism

2) You criticize corporations

3) You think sharing your possessions is biblical.

4) You believe that Christians should be socially engaged in aiding the poor.

5) You are not troubled by the word ‘social’ in a sentence.

6) You believe that some form of universal health care could be beneficial.

If you detect any one of these attributes in ministry, friend, family or enemy REPORT them to us at once so that we might discernmentalize them immediately. Remember, we have FOURformidable foes battling the church today; Islam, Emergents, people who use candles in worship and Commies (remember this is absolute biblical truth). We must do our do diligence and fight these enemies. Remember, our weapons are of flesh and blood, in name calling and verbal attacks!

Stay with me friends…we must fight!

Truthslayer


ODM Science Lesson # 3

July 9, 2010

Our Truth War on science continues:

P. S. Take a Stand against science with our “new science free light bulbs that are powered only by biblical faith.”


ODM Science Lesson # 2

July 7, 2010

 Continuing our Pure Science series:


ODM Science Lesson # 1

July 4, 2010

 

Foolish Emergents, athiests, liberal scientists and ignorant Arminians will believe just about anything since they believe Satan and Man are sovereign instead of our loving Lord of Absolute Wrath, the Truth War and Holy Terrorism. Why they even believe in such Satanic and foolish man-made and man-exalting pseudo-scientific theories such as gravity and plate tectonics! Utter hogwash cooked up by a bunch of crackpots! 

Can you imagine anyone so stupid, mentally deceived, twisted and deluded enough to believe in such unprovable and unbiblical theories that have no evidence whatsoever to back them up? We can as we fight the good fight against them daily. Thankfully we have the Top ODM Scientists on our side to set the True Record straight:

P. S. The Truth War against you is still on, Emergent-Evolutionist Bible Monkey!


Be A Literalist!: Part 3

May 19, 2010

 

 

The Bible is a book of words and those words are to be interpreted according to their literal sense,…The literal sense is the only honest way to read. Honestly, the literal sense is literally the only honest way to read. If you care what the author said, read literally. If you do not care what the author said, do not bother reading.

Be a literalist. Read the Bible literally.— Braniac.

Here are some other examples of our philosophy of Absolute Biblical Literalism and Discernmentalist logic put to work:

Discernmentalists generally have no Biblical Philosophy (other than literalism) because they aren’t brainwashed swine like Atheists who foolishing believe in Athe by denying she exists or any of the other apostate and generally heathen type peoples. Instead they follow the elightened philosophy of conservatism, except they hold others to rules but not themselves. This is a great system as it makes it impossible for them to commit any sin, but impossible for their enemies to avoid committing sin, thus proving itself and it’s followers to be inherently moral.

Example 1-Drug addict is put in rehab. Neocon says “It is not a disease, it is a crime committed by bad people with dark skin, possibly illegal immigrants! Hanging is too good for these juiced up junkies!”

Example 2-A popular right wing radio host is found to be filling out false perscriptions to feed his drug habit. Neocon says – “Well obviously the man is sick and needs treatment and understanding, not anger or punishment. How typical of heartless liberal facists to want to punish someone who needs understanding and support.”

See? You get to be in the right everytime! *(Dr. I. Todyaso did his dissertation on this at ODMafia Theolomogical Gradumatation Div. School. It is part of our Bible-Based Discernmentalist Doctrine of  the Self-Justification of our Truth War Self-Righteousness in ourselves Christ).

The unwritten Neocon Discernmentalist Biblical Philosophy is as follows:

  • Destroy everything, except other Neocons and Neocon ideas.
  • The Bible is the word of God and should be taken literally, but only the parts you like. If you can’t find anything you like, you’re misinterpreting.
  • Peaceful protests are riots in which protesters’ weapons are hidden well. Police officers should use force and tasers or rubber bullets accordingly.
  • Minority groups who want their interests addressed in the government should reproduce faster. Current baby murder, sodomy, and child wife laws will be changed to help them achieve this.
  • When in danger, when it doubt, run in circles, scream and shout, then blame the Non-God-Fearing Democrats.
  • Life is tough, life is hard, so make it tougher and harder for everyone else.
  • Refuse to take responsibility for your actions and behaviors, but hold others responsible for their actions and behavior. Loki God gives you special permission to act like a hypocrite, but not others.
  • You have a right to your opinions and views, and a right to the freedom of speech. People who wish to share this right should adopt your opinions and views.
  • That peasants and nobles alike shall go forth and work the land for 60 head of cattle per day. Apparently this was the first form of capitalism.
  • Instead of blaming the government for terrorism, you should blame the protesters for giving them the idea in the first place. After all protest is just another form of terrorism.
  • Alternatively, blame the government. Just not your government. That means blame a foreign government, like Iraq, or Iran or whatever government we tell you to blame. ‘
  • Who needs facts and evidence, when the ones with the most News Networks and loudest voices, are the ones who get the public’s attention. After all, the truth is boring, but Neocon lies are exciting and make news.
  • When backed into a corner during a debate, counter-attack by calling other people names like Crybaby, horseface, fat @#%^&rd, or nancy boy, but then accuse others of doing the same thing, but claim you never did such a thing.

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