Love wins people over to heresy!

April 4, 2011

Ladies, Gentleman, and Underlings,  we knew that the fallout from the Rob Bell heretical view of non-hell was going to undermine the truth of scripture and lead many astray (sorry for the lack of grammatical clarity but we are so upset over this news we can’t use punctuation properly) but never did we imagine the magnitude of   the fallout.  Nor did we imagine the swiftness in which the Devil was going to lead people astray.   Nor did we think that our leadership would fall.

What’s the big news?

Hold on to your phylacteries,  bathe in holy water, hide the eyes of the innocent, and prepare the millstones:  R.C. Sproul (a.k.a second in charge [behind John McArthur PBUH] of calvinist dogma doctrine) says GOD IS IN HELL!    I wish we could say that we are making this up,  we wish that we could say that there was some confusion of intent, we wish that we could say wait until the book comes out but we can’t.  The truth is that R.C. Sproul believes firmly that GOD IS IN HELL based on this excerpt from his upcoming book “The place of God’s Disfavor”.

The problem with hell is not simply the absence of God’s graciousness. It is the presence of God that is so difficult. God is present in hell because He is omnipresent. The psalmist declares, “Where can I go from Your Spirit? Or where can I flee from Your presence? If I ascend into heaven, You are there; If I make my bed in hell, behold, You are there” (Ps. 139:7-8). If God is everywhere in His being, then certainly He is in hell as much as He is anywhere else. The problem, then, is what He is doing there. He’s there in His judgment. He is there in His punitive wrath. He is present in hell as the One who executes His justice on those who are there. That’s why I say that anyone who is in hell would most want God, more than anyone else, to leave.

 

Rob Bell says there is no Hell.  R.C. Sproul says God is in Hell.  What next? God is Dead? Only God knows…well…and us.  After all we are discermentalists!


Bow down to the King of kings… OR ELSE!

May 17, 2010

One of the greatest theologians of our day Lemmy, has written the greatest ODM worship song ever. Enjoy!


Discernmentalist Church History 101: Solo Calvinus!

February 25, 2010

Discernmentalists here is one of the exciting new Free Online Discernmentalist Courses that we  are now offering. Discernmentalist Church History 101: Solo Calvinus—Pastor I. Todyaso recommends this course for all new Discernmentalists! We Know that all True Church History begins and ends with John Calvin. Sure we may use John Wesley and Martin Luther every now and then in our attacks on defense of Truth (except when they don’t even agree with us) but we are not even certain that these two men really exist. And we are Absolutely Certain that Karl Barth doesn’t exist.

We also Know that there were no True Christians before John Calvin and the only True Christians after John Calvin must follow him and Ronald Reagan (as Capitalism is unBiblical) exclusively. We Know Sola Scriptura, Sola Christus, Sola Gratia, Sola Fide really mean only our interpretation of Calvin‘s interpretation of Scripture is correct, you can only get to heaven by the Synods of Dort, the only True Grace is for Discernmentalists and you should have faith only in our interpretation of Calvin’s interpretation of  Scripture.

P. S. And remember Semper 1600’s—Always 1600’s always and Soli Calvinus et Noster Veritas Belli gloria—for the glory of Calvin and our Truth Wars alone. 

P. P. S. Dr. Arthur  McJohn reminds you to burn an Anabaptist in Calvin’s honor as a prerequisite for taking our course so that we’ll know that you are Truly Hardcore Deformed Reformed enough like these guys are to pass our tests of True Orthodoxy.

Drs. Don Jobson, Truthslayer, I. Todyaso and Arthur McJohn—your Professors of Discernmentalist Divisional and Revisional Church History.


Why we support paedobaptiphobia

February 19, 2010

Typical baptist unregenerate baptism against Calvin's doctrines!

Let me break this word down for the ignorant unrepentant masses that read this blog only to mock our inferiority. We here have just made up a new word, because that is just how smart we are here at the ODMafia. So, you slack jaw locals who think that Phil Johnson’s Hugh Ass was parody, this is what paedobaptiphobia means.

paedo: Pertaining to children.

bapti: Pertaining to Baptists who immerse children in water.

phobia: Pertaining to fear of things in general but when connected to a word means you fear that word.

Therefore, you now know what the word “paedobaptiphobia” means. It means fear of baptist who baptise children.

Now, we know that is pure unadulterated heresy per John MacArthur (per our own award winning theologian Don Jobson) and that John Calvin would have never taught such a horrible doctrine! For John Calvin’s doctrine was almost as pure as our own! So, we support paedobaptiphobia in all forms and detest the unsaved Baptists who do not bow to our doctrines!  BTW, we here at the ODMafia do not need a list of reasons we call infant baptism heresy like Piper or MacArthur. Why? It is heresy because we say it is and that is good enough for us and should be good enough for you!


Pastorboy turns on Chris Rosebrough (but still listens to Pirate Radio)

January 24, 2010

 

John Chisham

While in a flurry of discernmentalism Pastorboy, aka (Name withheld upon request) has written an open letter to Chris Rosebrough’s denomination, the Lutherans.

Here it is in total:

I cannot and will not recant anything, for to go against conscience is neither right nor safe. Here I stand, I can do no other, so help me God. Amen.–Martin Luther–

My Dear Brothers and Sisters in Christ,

Recent historical events have taken place within the denomination that you call your own, as many of you well know and are concerned about. There are rumblings throughout our communities, and we see in the news many stories about decline in attendance and giving. For some, this has soured you on the institutional church, and you have separated from all fellowship. Some have moved on to other churches, and others are sitting quietly in the churches, hurting on the inside, but desiring the family and the fellowship of friends that you have made over the years.

I am inviting you to come out. Jesus Christ is calling you to come out.

The Church is not a social club, nor is it a building or a method of worship. The Church is the living body of Jesus Christ. Individuals who have trusted Christ alone for salvation, like some Lutherans, are part of that universal and invisible body. Martin Luther was a great example of this, upon realizing by the scripture that the Just shall live by faith (Romans 1:16-17) came out of the church that He was a part of very loudly by posting the 95 theses on the Wittenburg door. His protest was in part of the un-biblical use of indulgences. Luther cared about the scripture, and what it taught about His Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. When the Roman Catholic Church refused to follow the scripture, Martin Luther had to leave, he had to take a stand.

ELCA Lutheran Christians today must take a stand.

Those who have simply left the church must take a stand for the true church, the invisible body of Jesus Christ, and choose a local church that takes the Bible and Church practices seriously, so that they can be built up and restored in Christ. Those who are sitting in the ELCA church, waiting it out and hoping that things will change, while staying silent must come out, taking a stand for all that the Bible teaches. What we communicate when we remain a part of an apostate church is that we do not take the Bible seriously, and that we do not fear God. While unity in the Body of Christ is important, it is equally important that we are unified in truth.

In Revelation 3:20, we see Jesus knocking on the door. It is not the door of an individual heart, as has been taught by many, but the door of the church in Laodecia:

14 “And to the angel of the church in Laodicea write: ‘The words of the Amen, the faithful and true witness, the beginning of God’s creation.

15 “‘I know your works: you are neither cold nor hot. Would that you were either cold or hot! 16 So, because you are lukewarm, and neither hot nor cold, I will spit you out of my mouth. 17 For you say, I am rich, I have prospered, and I need nothing, not realizing that you are wretched, pitiable, poor, blind, and naked. 18 I counsel you to buy from me gold refined by fire, so that you may be rich, and white garments so that you may clothe yourself and the shame of your nakedness may not be seen, and salve to anoint your eyes, so that you may see. 19 Those whom I love, I reprove and discipline, so be zealous and repent. 20 Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and eat with him, and he with me. 21 The one who conquers, I will grant him to sit with me on my throne, as I also conquered and sat down with my Father on his throne. 22 He who has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says to the churches.’”

Jesus Christ is outside the door of the apostate church, who see themselves as wise, prosperous, and in need of nothing. The ELCA has the gospel and the sacraments, and have chosen to disdain both by departing from scripture and right practice by recent votes held by the national church. Local ELCA churches, whether or not they abide by that vote have the unfortunate scar of that vote on their churches. Individuals who continue to attend also share in that guilt.

Open the door to Jesus, His word, and His life. Repent! Come out from among them and be separate. Seek a Bible teaching Church in your community. Join with Luther and others throughout history who have made a stand on the Word of God at great risk to their status, their families, and their relationships. God will bless that stand of faith that you take, and in some cases you may give others the courage to take a stand themselves.

The ELCA has made its choice, along with the Episcopal and other mainline denominational churches, taking a stand against the Word of God. In doing so, they have become apostate. Come out from them, separate from them, and join with Luther and other reformers who have made a stand at risk of life and limb on the Word of God, trusting in God alone to be their Savior and protector.

We here agree with Pastorboy aka (name witheld upon request) as it seems Lutherans have gone off the path Luther blazed over 500 years ago. In fact, many Lutherans now accept Jews, believe the book of James and Hebrews are part of the cannon of Scripture. Even the RCC has begun to state positive things about the Lutherans!

Chris Rosebrough, a Lutheran, as well as Ingrid Shuelter (who may also have Lutheran leanings as she partakes in advent against Ken Silva’s clear teaching of its pagan origins) have yet to comment or leave the Lutheran church per Pastorboy’s aka (Name withheld upon request) open letter. We also attempted to ask why Pastorboy aka (Name withheld upon request) still had a picture of the now apostate Lutheran leader Martin Luther as his header on his blog and he has yet to give us an answer.

* We are trying to protect Pastorboy’s aka (Name withheld upon request) identity as he has fear that someone will do him harm over his version of the truth.


Obama Is The Anti-Christ And Hates America

October 29, 2009

hitler

Recently  our resident Redneck GOIPers discovered shocking evidence that proves once and for all without a shadow of a doubt that Obama is the political anti-Christ. We’ve known all along that he hates America, our Rite to theocracy and Our God-ordained Holy Republican American Reich so this is no surprise. Also Obama wants to hand America over to Canada a nation run by satanists that is his evil plan in destroying our God-ordained and God Chosen Nation. Here is what “RR” has to say:

I admire Glen Beck with every fiber of my being for going on national television and calling the president a racist with a deep seated hatred toward white people. Beck is so right, but the only problem is that he doesn’t go far enough. Obama hates Americans, and the country we live in. Hate is too soft a word. Obama loathes each and every citizen with a hate that few people can comprehend. The man is full of hate.

There have been blogs that compare Obama to Hitler, but that is going easy on Hitler. Hitler at least was doing what he felt, however misguided, was in the best interest of the German people. Obama is doing the opposite. He wishes only harm and misery on the American people. That is his goal, and we are seeing his hateful scheme unfold before our very eyes.

Obama’s plan is to create a humongous socialist government. Each and every American will become wholly independent on Obama’s Big Brother, Orwellian government. Only Obama will decide who will be happy and sad. Only Obama will determine who will be successful and who will fail. All the power will go into his hands. Of course, one element of this evil plan is universal health care. Like Sarah Palin said, there will be death panels that determine who will live and who will die. And die we will. Mainly white people. Same as the Jews during Hitler’s regime, but instead of gas chambers, Obama will use universal health care.

When one thinks of the most evil people in the history of the world, Obama tops them all. On 9/11/2001, Osama Bin Laden killed brazenly 3000 innocent Americans. Obama wants to kill a lot more than 3000.

 

I and Ken Silva agree that it is offensive to Hitler to compare Obama to him as Hitler is our Führer Ron Luce’s hero. Ingrid “Eva Braun” Schlueter also adds that we must Take America back by force in order to establish our theocratic dominion.

Don Jobson—p.s. after stealing enough money from the poor and hiring Legal immigrant computer techs to help with my Mexican and Canadian slaves —we’ve finally “officialized”  The Official Blog Of God’s Only Inerrant Party.


New From Chia!

October 19, 2009

 

They are fun and what better way to commemorate you favorite theologians!

Check out the John Calvin Chia Pet!

John Calvin Chia Pet

Or our favorite the Spurgeon Chia!

Chia Spurgeon

Buy them now as supplies are limited!


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