December 7, 2010
Introducing the all new
the fun new Bible-based game for Discernmentalist families to practice their pretzel-logic skills.
A sample logic puzzle from our game:
According to the Bible, God not only knows the future, (God is omniscient) but He has unchangeably ordained everything from the beginning, and He infallibly brings to pass all things according to His perfect plan. Also according to the Bible, Jesus is God but Jesus does not know the future nor the hour of the end of the world. Giving these facts Jesus is either:
a) a liar; not who the Bible says He is;
b) God does not know (all of) the future, He takes risks, learns lessons, makes mistakes and changes His mind (Open Theism);
c) of course, Jesus is God—THE BIBLE is Inerrantly clear!;
or d) a black & white answer that doesn’t satisfactorily answer this question.
The answer of course is d. Thank you for playing Black-n-White-o-poly!!!
May 11, 2010
We must set the record straight—- the Bible is the Literal Word of God. What this Literally means is that the human words which make up the Bible contain the Literal mind of God. We Know as we were there when God Literally dictated them to humanity. Our field agent Brainiac further explains:
The Bible is a book of words and those words are to be interpreted according to their literal sense, which means in the same sense that the author understood them. This is a principle called the Sensus Literalis, and it is an important rule of hermeneutics. If we do not interpret the words in the same sense as the author, then we obscure the author’s meaning and impose our own. If we read our own meaning in the place of God’s meaning; then we are no longer reading God’s word but our own. Therefore, we must take care to interpret the Bible literally.
We interpret the Bible literally by following the ordinary rules of language; a noun is to be read as a noun, a verb as a verb, and so on. No matter what we read or in what language we read it, a statement is always a statement and a question is always a question.
Utilizing our Absolute Biblical Certainty and our Discernmentalist logic, we will show you how to apply a literal hermeneutic to the Bible:
This is literally Jesus:
This also is literally Jesus:
And here is something else that is literally Jesus:
Stay tuned for part 2 of our exhilirating fresh new course straight from the bowels of the GOIP Online Discernmentalist Bible-Literalist Institutes aka LifeWay Press!
April 23, 2010
Hell is a “real place” we have Absolute Proof. God’s Inerrant and Holy Infallible Word the Bible proclaims that Hell is a “real place.” Certainly the English word Hell isn’t a translation of several different Hebrew and Greek words—all of which have several distinct meanings of different concepts, one of which is a garbage dump in Jerusalem.
|Photo: Gila Yudkin
|Gehenna: no longer a place of furnaces and child sacrifice
We Know as Todd Friel (Wretched) and Brainiac (Brainless) back us up by explaining the full picture of the Absolute Biblical Truth of Hell by stringing together several random and arbitrary Bible verses out of context:
Many evil men have and will escape justice on earth, and in this life. None will escape justice in Hell. Hell is not this life.
What then, is Hell? To answer this question we must look not to the imagination of men but to the Word of God. For, if you have not heard, men are liars. But, God is true and His Word is truth. In His Word God tells us that Hell is (1) a place of (2) eternal (3) conscious (4) punishment for the (5) wicked.
Hell is a place. “In that place there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth” (Matthew 8:12). See also: Matthew 13:42, 13:50, 22:13 and 25:30
Hell is eternal. “Then he will say to those on his left, ‘Depart from me, you cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels” (Matthew 25:41). Just as heaven is eternal, so also hell is eternal. “And these will go away into eternal punishment, but the righteous into eternal life.” (Matthew 25:46)
Those in Hell are conscious. “… The smoke of their torment goes up forever and ever, and they have no rest, day or night” (Rev. 14:11).
Hell is punishment. “In that place there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth” (Matthew 8:12); “these will go away into eternal punishment” (Matthew 25:46). See also: Matthew 13:42, 13:50, 22:13, 25:30
Hell is for the wicked. “Then he will say to those on his left, ‘Depart from me, you cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels” (Matthew 25:41).
It is no mystery what Hell is. God’s Word is clear, if only we will accept it. In the end, every man will know exactly what Hell is, no man will dare deny it, for every man will be either one abandoned to Hell or one rescued from Hell. Those abandoned to Hell will know what Hell is and why they are there because…they are there. Those rescued from Hell will know what Hell is because they ought to be there, and because they have believed Him who rescued them from there.
This is why you must Obey our Pure Doctrines or else!