And you wouldn’t want to do anything that non-Christians let alone non-Americans do. Why if you celebrate Christmas you are supporting terrorism and the terrorists. Most of all how dare anyone have fun or take pleasure and joy in anything….for fun, pleasure and joy are a sin and you know how much our God of Absolute Sovereign Wrath and commendable hatred hates sin and sinners.
So this December pray that the war on Iraq continues and that more people would open their eyes and make war on Christmas. This message is brought to you by your friendly neighborhood GOIP Committee of Concerned Citizens in conjunction with Killjoy Puritan Calvinazi Church.
there are those among us that want us to research using highly regarded books, careful thinking, and prayer to understand the nature of an opposing argument. In other words they suggest that straw manning an opponent is unbiblical. We EMPORE you to think FEARLY, NOT CLEARLY. If you don’t fear what you don’t understand, how will you be able to attack and undermine the said subject? Fear is the only thing that drives us to true discernment. Fear drives out all love and allows us to hate our enemies properly.
We are proud to sponsor the New Conservative Bible. In fact, here is an animation we truly feel is inspired by our DOCTRINES and God! This is how OUR Jesus would have acted like and taught.
We wanted to share this article from a major newspaper publication called The Discernment written by I. Todyaso. We wanted to state that next to the Internet, the newspaper is the more accurate place to get news. This means it must be all true!
Are you sick and tired of eating the same candy as pagans, liberals and other sinners? The new and improved Judgefinger candy-bar is the perfect treat of discernmentalist parents and children. With zero calories and all the taste one can expect…you will be swept off your feet (in the most biblical sense) while appreciating this stellar candied delight (stellar as in the non-astological way)!!!
cAlvin and the Chipmunks was a popular children’s cartoon that aired on Nickelodeon. Based loosely on the cAlvin Show from 20 years earlier, this cartoon has many cross overs with iCarly, for no apparent reason. Additionally, the title format is similar to that of iCarly, and the show is set at in the 2080′s A.D. in a newt dominated world, like the contemporary seasons of iCarly.
cAlvin, Simon, (later replaced by Chippy) and Theodore, three Protestant chipmunks, try to balance their musical careers with their primary goal of reforming the church along Calvinistic lines, and fighting the squirrel Pope. Their musical careers are managed by a man called Dave Seville, who, although sympathetic to cAlvin’s theological goals, is primarily concerned with the music business.
Truthslayer wanted me to remind you that all Discernmentalists should listen to this record. It brings a tear to my eye back in the days when Doctrines were Pure! Todd Friel got his start on the show playing Dave and is on this record. My favorite episode is:
cAlvin and Theodore become suspicious of Chippy’s theological leanings. cAlvin calmly confronts Chippy about these issues, but Chippy boldly proclaims himself to be an Arminian, and denounces cAlvin, Theodore, and even their rival Marty as fatalists. Despite much pleading, Chippy refuses to accept the reformed position, and is eventually banished from Geneva. Meanwhile, Spencer builds a sculpture unmolested because Chippy is too involved in a heresy trial to steal Spencer’s tools.
Now Truthslayer and I must be off to exile some more heretics.
Ken Silva and the fine crew of God’s Only Inerrant Party have recently discovered a new sinister plot by those Evil Emergents who are truly pagan and worship Satan. Here are the details that our GOIP Bot Searcher 3342 found on futher investigation:
If we ODM’s had a patron saint, Don Quixote would be the one. But because we ODM’s know everything that the Roman Catholic Church believes in and do is heretical we don’t have a patron saint. But if we had one it would be Saint Don Quixote.
To Don Quixote’s his truth is all that counted. If he saw a giant that had to be slayed he charged forth in almost holy anger to meet the windmill in battle. Reality and people trying to tell him about reality didn’t take away from his focus to valiantly fight the dangerous giants of his imagination.
Today we ODM’s have to face similar giants just as the brave Don Quixote did. We should never be swayed by the facts of reality so that we lose focus of our imaginarydangerous foes. People may question where we get our proof from about these giants but we don’t answer to nobody so we don’t have to tell them that we dreamed it all up.
In this tradition of imaginary giants one ODM stands out above the rest and therefor deserve the Don Quixote Award. The ODMafia is honoured to present this prestigious award to Discerning The World. The bravery and determination with which DTW storms the spiritual windmillsgiants of our time is truly inspiring. Posts like this one* raises the bar of tenacity to stick to an argument no matter if the facts show otherwise. This is a great example of how links should be made where none exist and DTW is an expert in this field.
We congratulate DTW and encourage all ODM’s to follow this excellent example of following Don Quixote’s footsteps. Let us charge forth in ignorance!
*NOTE: In another ODM tradition I have not read this piece fully and just assumed it said what I think it says by scanning through and pick what I want to say it means what I say it means. I am never wrong so I am right in my assessment of the piece.
Too many of us true Christians don’t have time to be as Reformed as we need to be. Sometimes we need a little boost….and with the Skewer-Mini’s – they fit the bill!
Bite size for your convenience!
Skewer helps you to sharpen your heresy hunting while on the go!
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Dude! This is a satire site!
Before you get all bent out of shape, please realize this is a satire site spoofing the so-called "discernment ministries" who deem themselves more worthy of Grace than the rest of us. So read and have fun! BTW, we are not against "good" discernment ministries that do actual real research and extend grace to others, only the bad ones.
Posted by donjobson 
If we ODM’s had a patron saint, Don Quixote would be the one. But because we ODM’s know everything that the Roman Catholic Church believes in and do is heretical we don’t have a patron saint. But if we had one it would be Saint Don Quixote.
DJ
donjobson
itodyaso
seymorespurgeon
truthslayer
Will Farel XV
