Subtlety no object for true discernmentalists!

July 28, 2010

Since our partnership with McCarthy Ministries we have been hell-bent on detection of social gospelers, communists, closet commies, universal health-care enthusiasts and people who share their private possessions. Unfortunately far too often communist sympathizers go undetected or worse commie proselytizers are left to wander the streets and eat our food and drink our water. We are shocked and dismayed to find Take A Stand Ministries secretly promoting and peddling socialism while pretending to be a true bible believing ministry. It just makes me ill. It did not take us long to detect RED in his “Take A Stand” logo. He has secretly embedded his socialist message not in his heading but below it to throw off readers (ie to make them feel less threatened by his red faced secret socialist message, slowly undermining the gospel).

We can’t be fooled.

Don’t be fooled either. Remember if its red, its wrong!

Truthslayer

PS We have reason to believe that if Take A Stand is “red” they are likely Red Letter Christians and sympathetic to Emergings!


We proudly support them…

July 23, 2010

Taking off where Senator McCarthy should have left alone, we welcome McCarthy Ministries in full partnership with ODMafia. We also believe they if we suspect you of ‘red’ you are probably spiritually dead as well. In fact the only good commie is a dead commie.

How do we define commie?

1) You criticize capitalism

2) You criticize corporations

3) You think sharing your possessions is biblical.

4) You believe that Christians should be socially engaged in aiding the poor.

5) You are not troubled by the word ‘social’ in a sentence.

6) You believe that some form of universal health care could be beneficial.

If you detect any one of these attributes in ministry, friend, family or enemy REPORT them to us at once so that we might discernmentalize them immediately. Remember, we have FOURformidable foes battling the church today; Islam, Emergents, people who use candles in worship and Commies (remember this is absolute biblical truth). We must do our do diligence and fight these enemies. Remember, our weapons are of flesh and blood, in name calling and verbal attacks!

Stay with me friends…we must fight!

Truthslayer


Bible Monkey Finally Embraces The Truth War Through Our Gentle Coercion

July 7, 2010

 

We would like to welcome Bible Monkey to our Fold. Thanks to our Clear Teachings and expository preaching of John MacArthur’s Truth War Doctrines, Bible Monkey finally decided to embrace our Truth Wars.  H0pefully we will soon gently coerce Bible Monkey into bowing down before our Pure Doctrines of John MacArthur’s Truth War but until then we still cannot reconcile with Bible Monkey.

We have high hopes for  Bible Monkey though as Bible Monkey already demonstrates the Absolute Biblical Truth of our Pure Doctrines as Bible Monkey is:

  • Totally captivated by our Clear Teachings
  • Unable to resist sitting under our feet
  • Learning to study our Truth War ways
  • Irresistably drawn to our expositions of Absolute Gospel Truth
  • Perfectly enslaved to our Great Merciful Loving and Graceful God’s Law and Wrath towards sinners

New era of ministry!

June 11, 2010

A new era of ministry is expected to unfold with this BOLD invention says iTodyaso, head of Online Discernment Researchmentalism and Design! This incredible piece of discernment hardware will take truth warriors to a place where truth warriors have attempted to go before. Fellow warriors will take contempt to a whole new level; it is the difference between a lit match and a nuclear explosion under the control of a mighty bible warrior. Enmity, strife & hate can be magnified into righteous indignation at the drop of a hate hat, or the flick of a switch. Remember, this device can be used in conjunction with fear, circular arguments & leaps of logic. Keep in mind DonJobson has been secretly using this for weeks under careful observation and clinical trials before this device was released to the public.

Soon ODMs all over the planet will use this device to heap judgment on anyone who gets in OUR way of the truth.

Truthslayer

PS remember, judgment over mercy!


Brannon Howes teaches how to persecute Christians

May 26, 2010

“Brannon and John will explore the five stages for establishing the persecution of Christians. Stage one. Define the opposition. Stage two: Marginalize the opposition. Stage Three: Vilify the Opposition. Stage Four: Pass laws criminalizing the activities of the opposition. Stage Five: Enforce the new laws against the opposition.”

We here at the ODMafia are soooo impressed with this latest teaching out of Brannon Howse. We see this not only as the view on how we poor, poor innocent Christians who never do anything wrong, will be slowly persecuted, but also that this can be turned around and used against OUR ENEMIES! Yes! This very outline can be used against people like Rick Warren, Brian McLaren or N.T. Wright!

 

Stage one: Name your enemies! Shoot we will do that for you! Just read our blog!

Stage two: Make your enemies lesser than yourself. Make up funny names and demean them as people.  See them as substandard Christians at best or heretics worthy of burning at the stake or at least flaming on your blog!

Stage three: Vilify your enemies! Yes, even if it is not true make things up. GOd gave true dicernmentalists the tools of this world (Lies, slander, bearing false witness… you know those things) to use against our enemies. So, do like Brannon Howse does with Rick Warren and others and make things up! Whatever it takes as the truth is what is at steak here!

Stage four: Pass law criminalizing the activities of the enemies! If they are gay, vote no to marriage and civil unions. You get the picture… make them suffer!

Stage five: Enforce them laws! So back the anti Gay Uganda laws that could put gays as well as those who know a gay person in jail  or even executed! I mean as long as we persecute gay people then we do not have to face the reality that our Christian marriages rival the world percentage wise with the secular world in divorces… and that pastors have a higher divorce rate than even the secular world! Yes, we can put the blame on Gays instead of face our own sin, depravity and weak view of the “sanctity of marriage”.


Oh Those Horrible Baptists!

March 13, 2010

Typical unregenerate unrepentant Marxist Anabaptist heretic “turning the other cheek” and helping his enemies:

The story of Dirk Willems, who, when he heard that the sherif pursueing him for his Anabaptist beliefs had fallen through the ice, turned back to save him is often considered by Anabaptist hagiographers to be a key example of their practice of Christian charity.

 

Oh those horrible Baptists— how we despise their Doctrines! We Know that Baptists created Communism and Socialism to attack our Pure Protestant Reformed Doctrines of CalvinReagan and Capitalism. We Know that Karl Marx is a product of Baptist theology particularly the Anabaptist form of Baptist theology:

(Ana)Baptists of all countries — repent!

Karl Marx, himself a stepchild of the communistic Anabaptists, loved to enjoin: “Workers of the world — unite!”480 But, standing upon Scripture, Christian Calvinists now say to all such stepchildren: “Anabaptists of all countries — repent!”

We therefore call upon all of the various stepchildren of the Anabaptists — including justified Baptists; heretical Seventh-day Adventists; apostate “Jehovah witnesses”; polytheistic Mormons; and atheistic Communists — to repent of their great sin of antipaidobaptism (and of all their other sins).

Clearly  Baptists are in error for following the Bible in baptizing believers instead of following  Calvin’s Pure Doctrines of sprinkling infants. Communism and Socialism are what inevitably happens when one takes  the words of Jesus seriously in the Bible rather than following Calvin’s interpretation of the Bible exclusively. Jan Markell warns of following Jesus too literally:

They feel it is convenient to blot out the words of Paul on homosexuality and focus in on the good deeds Jesus talks about. Most are pacifists who reject an “eye for an eye” (Leviticus 24:19-20). They focus on Jesus’ words about helping the poor, ministering to “the least of these” (Matthew 25:40), loving our enemies, etc. That justifies abandoning hundreds, even thousands of condemning verses in the Bible they choose to wish away. That makes homosexuality OK and war wrong! And remember, Paul and the others in the Bible represent Jesus’ words. They were His spokesmen.
 
Some who believe this way practice a form of neo-Marxism and others would call it “Christian Marxism” — an oxymoron if there ever was one. They note that the early church shared everything (socialism).  A close cousin to this is “liberation theology.”
 
Those who are high profile in this movement include Jim Wallis, Tony Campolo, Brian McLaren and his Emergent bunch, and the National Council of Churches. Jim Wallis says, “In those red letters, Jesus calls us away from the consumerist values that dominate contemporary American consciousness.”  Translate that to mean he loathes capitalism and opts for socialism and/or communism.

We Know that “social justice”  is an evil word  and that John Calvin and Ronald Reagan had nothing to do with such a horrible thing as the Social Gospel and if they had nothing to do with social justice then Jesus certainly didn’t. Glenn Beck adds that “Social justice “is a perversion of the Gospel,” and “not what Jesus was saying” when He was teaching on justice and social sins. We agree and Know that the Socialist Gospel is a product of Credobaptism as Credobaptism denies the Pure Doctrines of “Original Sin” and “Total Depravity (Total Inabillity)” just listen to this heretical Baptist quote: “God imposes the necessity of sin on nobody.” My head is still shaking from all that Evilness! What an attack on God’s Absolute Sovereign Wrath! Credobaptism in the words of GOIP Discernmentalist Sharin’ Whiplash is “man-exalting”:

 Certainly Credobaptism is evil since it promotes confusion this is why I Thank You, Lord, for Your servant, Jean Cauvin, without whom we would be still struggling in the darkness of Credobaptism, that man-exalting heresy! Besides Immersion sounds too much like the heresy of Emergent/Emerging or Emergence Christianity.

Truly anything man-exalting promotes Marxism, Communism and Socialism—this is why all Baptists are heretics. We along with Glenn Beck urge all Baptists to leave their Marxist Social Justice-promoting false churches and join a True Church that teaches the Pure Doctrines of Discernmentalists like The Protestant Reformed Churches in America, the Reformed Presbytery of North America, General Meeting (RPNA-GM) or the Reformed Presbyterian Church, Covenanted (RPCC)—just avoid the Presbyterian Church in America (PCA) like the plague as they are too soft  on Evolution and anti-theocracy and especially avoid the The Presbyterian Church (U.S.A.) or PC (USA) as they are neither Presbyterian nor Christian.


Rhoblogy Caught On A Slippery Slope Down The Postmodern Emerging Heresy Slide

March 9, 2010

 

Rhoblogy forsakes his convictions to stand against all errors, false teachers and heretics who have crept into the Church. We’ve caught him in the act of being soft on heresy and heretics like Mark Driscoll—here Rhology notes:

Thursday, March 04, 2010

One of my favorite watchblogs overreacts

Defending.Contending. is usually a good read, and they often have useful and discerning stuff about the zillions of shades of heresy and heterodoxy that are always popping up in the church of Jesus. However, recently they announced that they are no longer going to endorse two massively helpful websites – CARM and Monergism – because they endorse Mark Driscoll of Mars Hill Church in Seattle.  Happily, the author of D.C. will be contacting each ministry to let them know of his concerns and his removal of his endorsement for what it’s worth, and no doubt asking them to reconsider their endorsement of Driscoll.  I would hope Monergism and CARM (read: Matt Slick) would go ahead and heavily qualify any endorsement of Driscoll that might remain, because that’s the right thing to do.  But to go so far as this?  Here in order is the 1st comment I left, the response, and my reply.

Brothers, I’m a bit concerned.
I love your site and always have ever since I heard of it and read it.
In this case, I wonder if you’re not going a bit far when you decide to stop endorsing such sources as CARM and especially Monergism just b/c they don’t dislike Driscoll. Not everyone can spend all the time you guys do on discernment type stuff.

How dare he attack John MacArthur’s Blessed Absolute Truth Wars™ and Discernmentalism. We Know that all True Christians are Absolute Truth Warriors and that all Absolute Truth Warriors spend all their time Discernmentalizing their fellow Christians. Doesn’t he know that the mark of a True Christian is to divide and split churches over random, arbitrary and non-Essential teachings and our own egotistical agendas? Clearly Rhology is in error—but wait he attacks True Discernmentalism even further:

Are you not separated from the profane already? You actively call out Driscoll for his many sins, and that’s great, and needed. But did you read Phil Johnson’s piece that I linked to in my last comment, about guilt by association?

Clearly Rhology is being deceived and doesn’t know that a True Absolute Truth Warrior Christian must render everyone they disagree with as guilty by association. This is an Essential Christian teaching as well as Discernmentalism as the clear teachings of Ken Silva attest. Perhaps Rhology ought to read our Pure Teachings on Mark Driscoll first before reconciling  with him. What happened to the heretic-bashing Rhology that we all know and love? Here Rhology condemns himself by a comment that he left on that Theopoetry heretic’s site:

Rich Mullins was right that we humans pull ‘em out to suit our own desires, but the context in which he said it, ie that being born again is great but not all that we need to do to have eternal life, is heresy. If I’d known he’d said sthg like that before now, I’d never have bought any more of his music or attended his concerts or anythg (kinda like I intentionally avoid Phillips Craig and Dean, since they’re Oneness and thus heretics). Were I in charge at Wheaton (and had I the courage), I would’ve at that very moment stepped onstage, said “thank you, Rich,” proceeded to refute what he’d just said, never invited him back, and encouraged other seminaries/Christian schools to do the same.

Discernmentalists this is why we must stand with Defending.Contending. against Rhoblogy and sex-obsessed heretics like Mark Driscoll as our own illustrious Dr. Itodyaso has noted that Driscoll has yet to renounce all his Emerging/Emergent ties.


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