Big Brother

March 15, 2010

Our readers know that we have the best research robot monkeys that money can buy (or program, but not in a cult-like programming way!) This is what they have found regarding spiritual leadership…

We are to esteem our leaders… for their work (see first Thessalonians)

But again, discernmentalists are exempt. Our job is to accuse the brethren. Our job is to discernmentalize every move that Rick Warren, Rob Bell, Bill Hybels, Charles Colson, Charles Swindoll, NT Wright, Brian McLaren and Rob Bell makes….then  itemize, italicize, and criticize every word, thought or deed…especially their thoughts, like the ones that they do not write down, or speak about. When we’re not sure what the accused meant, we fill in the blanks to make them say what we think they will say. We say what they really mean. We are presumpteous (due to our rightousness) enough to discern this.

Remember, when we mean esteem, we mean attack.

We are Big Brother of the discernmentalist world!


Why we support paedobaptiphobia

February 19, 2010

Typical baptist unregenerate baptism against Calvin's doctrines!

Let me break this word down for the ignorant unrepentant masses that read this blog only to mock our inferiority. We here have just made up a new word, because that is just how smart we are here at the ODMafia. So, you slack jaw locals who think that Phil Johnson’s Hugh Ass was parody, this is what paedobaptiphobia means.

paedo: Pertaining to children.

bapti: Pertaining to Baptists who immerse children in water.

phobia: Pertaining to fear of things in general but when connected to a word means you fear that word.

Therefore, you now know what the word “paedobaptiphobia” means. It means fear of baptist who baptise children.

Now, we know that is pure unadulterated heresy per John MacArthur (per our own award winning theologian Don Jobson) and that John Calvin would have never taught such a horrible doctrine! For John Calvin’s doctrine was almost as pure as our own! So, we support paedobaptiphobia in all forms and detest the unsaved Baptists who do not bow to our doctrines!  BTW, we here at the ODMafia do not need a list of reasons we call infant baptism heresy like Piper or MacArthur. Why? It is heresy because we say it is and that is good enough for us and should be good enough for you!


CS Lewis attacking discernmentalists from the grave!

December 29, 2009

It has long been known that CS Lewis, has been soft on truth…probably because he came  out of the Church of England. Few know that he is secretly smuggled into his books anti-discernmentalist rhetoric….here is a quote to prove it:

“SCREWTAPE ON CHURCHGOING – Surely you know that if a man can’t be cured of churchgoing, the next best thing is to send him all over the neighborhood looking for the church that “suits” him until he becomes a taster or connoisseur of churches. The reasons are obvious. In the first place the parochial organization [neighborhood church] should always be attacked, because, being a unity of place and not of likings, it brings people of different classes and psychology together in the kind of unity the Enemy desires. The congregational principle, on the other hand, makes each church into a kind of club, and finally, if all goes well, into a coterie or faction. In the second place, the search for a “suitable” church makes the man a critic where the Enemy wants him to be a pupil.” —C. S. Lewis. (1898-1963) THE SCREWTAPE LETTERS. New York: Time Incorporated, 1961, p. 52. (I R&D’d from WQOTW)

Note that he sneers….at every man being a “connoisseur of churches” and a critiquer of churches. It would seem that CS Lewis implies that we should seek unity even within a diverse church! He appears to be saying that we should tough it out instead of running! How then do we feed on the true doctrines of the true church (by that I mean a John MacArthur approved one!!!!)

I don’t know about anyone else….but he does not seem to care too much about truth and for that I am clearly disgusted.

Clearly he is attacking us from the grave!

Clearly we should BURN his books before he encourages further damage. Who knows what else he will write against us? We need to stop him now!

Clearly “unity” is a liberal code word for “get along and love one another.”

I, Dr. Truthslayer  advise all our readers to BURN any CS Lewis books you may have at once!


Evil Emergent Plot Uncovered

October 15, 2009

Ken Silva and the fine crew of God’s Only Inerrant Party have recently discovered a new sinister plot by those  Evil Emergents who are truly pagan and worship Satan. Here are the details that our GOIP Bot Searcher 3342 found on futher investigation:

AlanMoore_Baptist_children1

You see there—those Evil Emergents are plotting to sacrifice little Baptist children to Satan (and by Baptists we mean only those who follow the Pure Doctrines as preached by Spurgeon). They said that they were doing this in protest of our Halloweenie Heretic Book Burning Shindig.  If that isn’t Absolute Proof that Emergents are the Incarnation of Absolute Evil then here is futher proof: Emergents love Postmodern Philosophy. Jacques Derrida is a Postmodern Philosopher and the devil reads Derrida. Photographic evidence:

devderr

From this we can conclude that Postmodernism is of the devil—so therefore the Emergents are non-Elect and also of the devil, too.

Don Jobson—Taking A Stand on the Urgent Emergency of the Emergent Heresy.


Our Goal For A Post-Emergent Church

October 15, 2009

The Post-Emergent Church

The Post-Emergent Church Of The Future—For old people that never grow out of their youth. A non-seeker-sensitive approach to church: How to lose friends and alienate people. The Post-Emergent Church will return us back to fundamentalism while still remaining relevant. Praise Hymn Rock Songs Include:

  • In Awe Of Thy 600+ Commandments, Praise Jesus 25x Chorus, Jesus Is Coming Now Grab Your Guns, We’re Old But We’re Still Young In Church, A Mighty Fortress Is Our Bible, I Saw Jesus Shoot A Heretic But He Did Not Shoot The Deputy, We Hold The Absolute Truth And So Can You, We’ll Annoy You With One More Praise Chorus, We Wish You A Servetus Barbecue, O I Hope My Shoe Is Holey Enough For The Rapture and Raise A Banner Of War On The Non-Elect

Confession of Faith: Legalism is Lord. Church services will include inquisitions on non-believers followed by forced baptisms. Afterwards, we’ll have a pot luck lunch. Everyone wins—souls that is! Rainbow wigs available after your first forced communion.

 

rollenstewart2


The Don Quixote Award Goes To…

October 10, 2009

Don Quixote AwardIf we ODM’s had a patron saint, Don Quixote would be the one. But because we ODM’s know everything that the Roman Catholic Church believes in and do is heretical we don’t have a patron saint. But if we had one it would be Saint Don Quixote.

To Don Quixote’s his truth is all that counted. If he saw a giant that had to be slayed he charged forth in almost holy anger to meet the windmill in battle. Reality and people trying to tell him about reality didn’t take away from his focus to valiantly fight the dangerous giants of his imagination.

Today we ODM’s have to face similar giants just as the brave Don Quixote did. We should never be swayed by the facts of reality so that we lose focus of our imaginarydangerous foes. People may question where we get our proof from about these giants but we don’t answer to nobody so we don’t have to tell them that we dreamed it all up.

In this tradition of imaginary giants one ODM stands out above the rest and therefor deserve the Don Quixote Award. The ODMafia is honoured to present this prestigious award to Discerning The World. The bravery and determination with which DTW storms the spiritual windmillsgiants of our time is truly inspiring. Posts like this one* raises the bar of tenacity to stick to an argument no matter if the facts show otherwise. This is a great example of how links should be made where none exist and DTW is an expert in this field.

We congratulate DTW and encourage all ODM’s to follow this excellent example of following Don Quixote’s footsteps. Let us charge forth in ignorance!

*NOTE: In another ODM tradition I have not read this piece fully and just assumed it said what I think it says by scanning through and pick what I want to say it means what I say it means. I am never wrong so I am right in my assessment of the piece.

Will FarelXV
Fighting for the Truth


ABOMINATION NATION – Now with 70% more insight

August 16, 2009

The ODslander-lawsMAFIA research robot monkeys think that the Abomination Nation has 70% more insight than other Online Discernmentalist Ministries making it the MOST effective, bible-based ministry that we are aware of. 70% more truth (and less filling) allows ABOMINATION NATION insights into who is in the Kingdom and who is out. We think that readers who like our blog are, are IN…and those who dislike it are OUT!

Here is our list of Top apostates chose by Charles Swindoll! We are as ANGRY as you are in his choices.

We believe the liberal media agenda is behind his choices…but nevertheless here they are.

1) Psychologizer Philip Yancey
2) Ecumenical psychologizer J.I. Packer
3) Catholic-sympathizer and author of occult fantasy C.S. Lewis
4) Easy-believism poster boy Charles Ryrie
5) Eugene Peterson (author of the blasphemous Bible version The Message)
6)  Psychologizer Warren Wiersbe
7) John R.W. Stott, an Anglican ecumenical who denies the reality of a literal hell.

Look at these unbiblical choices….intellectuals, writers, commentators, linguists and thinkers who love Jesus….all very useless if one is going to be true to discernmentalism. We discernmentalists believe that all it takes is a little back-bone, a quick bible read, osmosis and a superficial understanding of a subject  to be a true online apologist. His choice is complete garbage. How dare he!

One does not have to think thru difficult issues if you are a discernmentalist. You ALREADY know!

One does not have to be educated…unless from a learned edumacator like U of ODMafia.

One does not have to study various issues, one most just know that a conservative radio talk show host  has blabbed about a particular subject and we jump behind them in support. Yeah Rush and Hannity!!!

Trust us…we’re the ODMafia….thinking is for us to do…not you.

PS We don’t like Psychologizers. Whatever they are they sound EVIL.


CS Lewis exposed as a Church of England Pagan says Abomination Nation

June 20, 2009

Pagans-1ODMAfia has noted that Abomination Nation is tops when it comes to discernmentalism. It has all the qualifications of a ministry called by God: misinformation, guilt by association, haphazard research, outrageous statements mixed with a sense of holiness, urgency and feverish zealousness (ODMafa encourages and endorses such discernmentalist practices).

In an expose on the shady character of Chuck Colson we find that he was converted in part by reading CS Lewis. BAD! BAD! BAD! Christians are so undiscerning these days that they will lower themselves to read almost anything….what a shame.

I’m shocked and so should you because Abomination Nation notes “Lewis’ theology is a garbled mixture of some ideas from the Bible, more from the Anglo-Catholic Church, and many from pagans.”

Let me review for a second:

CS Lewis’s is a garbled mixture of the a) Bible b) Anglo-catholic Church c) pagans

This is unlike the non-muddled, non-garbled  research observed at Abomination nation. THANK-GOODNESS for ABOMINATION NATION’s psuedo-research. Surely you must have done some co-work with Eric Barger’s Take A Stand Ministries!

Yep…Lewis was a pagan. But worse than being a pagan he was a member of the CHURCH OF ENGLAND. Worse still we read “among others. Lewis was a member of the apostate Church of England, an institution whose history is based largely on theological compromise with Rome

The fact that Abomination Nation was insightful enough to note the dark and sinister CS Lewis and Church of England connection is enough to make me want to toss my cookies. What was Lewis thinking about when he associated himself with some of the best hymn writers, theologians, preachers in the Christian West? 

Clearly we must stay away from CS Lewis and his garbled message….


Trio of actors ready for “Clash of the Discernmentalists”

June 20, 2009

 

clash

LOS ANGELES  -Several famous discernmentalists are joining the cast of  a rebooted “Clash of the Discernmentalists“,” the real life story of Geek-gods (not Greek because we know Greeks are all pagans) of discernmentalism epic being directed by Ingrid Schrueter of Slice of Laodicea fame.

The rumoured plot is as follows….

Eric Barger stars as himself (but nicknamed Perseus) is surrounded by several characters include Ken Silva, and myself (Truthslayer) who embarks on a quest to discernmentalize the church. Rick Warren one of America’s most recognizable faces, will play the one of the main Stygian Witches as he normally plays in real life. Gregory Boyd, and Bill Hybels make cameo appearances and are said to play Warren’s evil underlings.

Along the way our hero’s discover that CS Lewis (known in the movie as CS Kraken) under the cloak of Christianity has penned several pagan novels (rumoured to be promoted by Rick Warren) CS Kraken must be taken down before his insidious literature infects the world at large with ideas that are not permitted. But before long the discernmentalists begin to have disputes over the finer points of theology concerning Poseidon and water baptism. The great clash is climaxed regarding water baptism;  should it be complete immersion, hosing or sprinkling? The gloves then come off over Arminianism vs Calvinism and dan Kimball’s hair…… CS Lewis is conveniently blamed for the dispute due to being an Anglican (ie Church of England). The plot apparently collapses here where the movie takes a segue in an unexpected direction as blood and guts are spilled from both “heros and villains” over a variety of non-essential issues.

Heck I didn’t write the movie – don’t blame me for the for confusion.

 

 


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