Be On The Lookout….

for men in robes, clerical collars or other ornate Priestly vestments warns Pastor Steven Dilday. Quote: “Robe-wearing Roman Catholics have been attacking, persecuting and murdering innocent Bible-Believing Calvinists since day one. Ignorant Protestants who wear vestments now are complicit in these and the many sins of the Whore of Babylon.” (Remember none of our own ever attacked, persecuted or murdered anyone or any group especially not the Anabaptists).

Jack Chick our most intelligent and sane researchmentalist also warns that agents of the Vatican have even infiltrated Protestant churches in order to attack the True Bible and pervert our Pure Doctrine. Remember also these instructions from our Holy Prophet (P. B. U. H.):

The Reformation doctrine of justification by faith is, and has always been, the number one target of the enemy’s attack. It provides the foundation of the bridge that reconciles God and man – without that key doctrine, Christianity falls. But the doctrine the Reformers so painstakingly clarified, even spilled blood over, has become so muddled today that many Protestants barely recognize it.

Sadly, there are some who react against a clear presentation of justification, calling it nothing more than useless hair-splitting. Some evangelical reactions to Protestant doctrine are even more severe. Recently, popular talk-show host, Marty Minto, was fired by evangelical station management for discussions he was having on his daily radio program. His crime? In response to callers, he was applying a traditional Protestant perspective to the teachings of John Paul II and the Roman Catholic Church.

Many evangelicals, ignorant and unconcerned of their Protestant roots, are blithely embracing Roman Catholics as brothers and sisters in Christ. They’ve become more concerned about offending and alienating Roman Catholics than they have in clearly articulating the truth. What’s so important about that? Jesus said, “You will know the truth, and the truth will make you free” (John 8:32).

The issue, may I remind you, is justification by faith alone. Those who do not adhere to that fundamental biblical doctrine are not going to heaven.

So be on the lookout for anyone who looks anything like this:

Warning: anyone who dresses like the person above may actually bring the “Real Presence” of Christ in your midst—a dangerous abomination!

WWJMD If Jesus Came To Grace Community Church?

What would John MacArthur (P. B. U. H.)  do if Jesus visited Grace Community Church? Why point his self-righteous finger of condemnation and judgment at that smug Roman Mystical Liberal Fascist Wine-Drinking Tree-Hugging Commie sinner, of course!

Lets see here—Case #1—Luke 7:33-34 states: ^“33For John the Baptist came neither eating bread nor drinking wine; and ye say, He hath a devil.^/34The Son of man is come eating and drinking; and ye say, Behold a gluttonous man, and a winebibber, a friend of publicans and sinners!” If it looks like a drunkard; if it acts like a drunkard—it must be a drunkard. Simple Discernmentalist Math and as we know John MacArthur (P. B. U. H.) has stated that anyone whose lips have touched one single drop of an alcoholic liquid is a boozing sinner. Also a fellow MacArthurite (P. B. U. H.) has exclaimed: “…it only takes one sip of your legal wine to become a drunk, addicted to the stuff.”

Case #2—Matthew 5:43-48 says:

⁴³Ye have heard that it hath been said, Thou shalt love thy neighbour, and hate thine enemy.

⁴⁴But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you;

⁴⁵That ye may be the children of your Father which is in heaven: for he maketh his sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sendeth rain on the just and on the unjust.

⁴⁶For if ye love them which love you, what reward have ye? do not even the publicans the same?

⁴⁷And if ye salute your brethren only, what do ye more than others? do not even the publicans so?

⁴⁸Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect.

You hear that Jesus talked about love. Love means pleasure and pleasure leads to sinful activities of the flesh—clearly Jesus was into Pornographic Divination. These are just two in a list of many offenses of Jesus that warrant John MacArthur (P. B. U. H.)’s self-Righteous finger of condemnation—so bow to our Glorious Elder’s Holy Finger of Judgment and keep spreading the fear and hate of all things Emergent and Young Restless & Reformed.

We Are Master Debaters!

Now you too can become a Master Debater by learning our Discernmentalist methods of Master Debating. Our very own Rhology in conjunction with Triablogue proudly present to you:

The Triablogue method: the only Master Debating method backed by Discernmentalists and to earn a %100 approval rating from Ken Silva! Win any argument or debate by shutting down your opponents in a matter of minutes. All you need is the handy steps of our Master Debating method and you’ll become a pro. Take it from us as we’ve won all of our debates with our skills of circular reasoning, mischaracterizations of our opponents and their beliefs, stroking our own egos, twisted pretzel logic and twisting Scriptures out of and far beyond their intended contexts, name-calling,  judgmentalism, emotional tirades, etc.

So remember the Triablogue method for all your Master Discernmentalist Debating needs!

Inside The Mind Of A Discernmentalist

Now for the first time ever ODMafia exclusively reveals to you a first-hand inside look into the operating brains of Discernmentalists‘ ministries:

Feeding Sheep or Entertaining Goats at Church Nurseries?

Mainstream evangelicalism is literally in the toilet or is that diaper pails to be more correct. Anyways recently our Research Robot Monkeys came upon some startling information concerning several Mainstream American Churches. This Revelation is so shocking… so blasphemous… We can only conclude it must be an abomination to God. Here is this abominable revelation in all of it’s worldly filth: several churches our Research Robot Monkeys have visited have decorated their nurseries with various children’s themes and are filled with worldly toys in an attempt to attract kids to Jesus. (Photo of one of these horrible Seeker-Sensitive Emergent Purpose-Driven nurseries included above).

How disgusted we are at this Seeker-Driven nonsense! Quote from one of these horrible false churches defending their foolishness: “Our nursery (decorated in a child-friendly motif) gives Pre-School members a reason to invite their friends to church. That is what Christ’s Family Church is all about; reaching those toddlers and others who have become disenchanted with religion but are searching for a relationship with Jesus Christ.”

So… somehow, a flashy nursery is supposed to save sinful souls. Even one local newspaper for toddlers wrote an article titled, “Come for the Nursery, Stay for the Service.” We have moved from John the Baptist proclaiming truth in the wilderness, to using a hormone-induced and child-friendly designed nursery to lure kids to a building. While there is nothing wrong with a nifty and fun nursery, there is plenty wrong with using it to attract people to Jesus. We implore kids to come to the Savior, not come for the nursery. We promote Jesus, not the amenities. Church is for Christians, not curiosity seekers. We win them to the Lord, not by being hip. Evangelism is to be done by church members and nursery-workers, not the nursery itself.

As Spurgeon once said:

An evil is in the professed camp of the Lord, so gross in its impudence, that the most shortsighted Christian can hardly fail to notice it. During the past few years this evil has developed at an alarming rate. It has worked like leaven until the whole lump ferments! The devil has seldom done a more clever thing, than hinting to the Church that part of their mission is to provide entertainment for the people, with a view to winning them. From speaking out the gospel, the Church has gradually toned down her testimony, then winked at and excused the frivolities of the day. Then she tolerated them in her borders. Now she has adopted them under the plea of reaching the masses! My first contention is that providing amusement for the people is nowhere spoken of in the Scriptures as a function of the Church. If it is a Christian work why did not Christ speak of it? “Go into all the world and preach the gospel to every creature, and provide amusement for those who do not relish the gospel.” No such words, however, are to be found. Again, providing amusement is in direct antagonism to the teaching and life of Christ and all His apostles. What was the attitude of the apostolic Church to the world? “You are the salt of the world,” not the sugar candy; something the world will spit out, not swallow. Had Jesus introduced more of the bright and pleasant elements into His teaching, He would have been more popular. When “many of His disciples turned back and no longer followed Him,” I do not hear Him say, “Run after these people, Peter, and tell them we will have a different style of service tomorrow; something short and attractive with little preaching. We will have a pleasant evening for the people. Tell them they will be sure to enjoy it! Be quick, Peter, we must get the people somehow!” No! Jesus pitied sinners, sighed and wept over them, but never sought to amuse them! In vain will the epistles be searched to find any trace of the “gospel of amusement.” Anything approaching amusement is conspicuous by its absence. They had boundless confidence in the gospel and employed no other weapon. Lastly, amusement fails to effect the end desired. Let the heavy laden who found peace through the concert not keep silent! Let the drunkard to whom the dramatic entertainment had been God’s link in the chain of their conversion, stand up! There are none to answer! The mission of amusement produces no converts! The need of the hour for today’s ministry is earnest spirituality joined with Biblical doctrine, so understood and felt, that it sets men on fire.

From all of those churches that have Emergent Seeker-Driven nurseries we can conclude that:

• 1. Many Evangelicals no longer believe that Scripture is sufficient. They need tools to enhance the Gospel to get regular attenders.
• 2. They clearly have no idea what the Gospel is.

ODMafia Presents First Ever “Chew On This” Award…

Dr. I. Todyaso presents the Online Discernmentalist Mafia’s first ever “Chew On This” Award…

Have you ever wanted to know what a book says but didn’t want to do the actual work and read the book? Well never fear we here at the ODMafia now offer you a new course on Reviewing Book Reviews in conjunction with Discernmentalist Osmosis. Now you can comb book reviews for questionable sentences and condemn a whole book based upon those sentences in a book review or you can condemn a whole book based on a promotional video. Perfect your Discernmentalist skills today with our new course—one of our satisfied customers noted in his testimony: “”I have not read a single book in years, but I took the ODMafia’s course on Reviewing Book Reviews in conjunction with Discernmentalist Osmosis so now I know how to slam any book as heresy and blame someone else for my own inadequacies as a researcher.”

Our course was developed in conjunction with our affectionate Uncle the Great Pastor-Teacher Ken Silva who just returned from being Raptured early and The Berean Library…sign up for this course today!

How To Tell If You’re Really Saved Or Not

John Calvin (the Final Arbiter of All Christian Truth) clearly taught something called *evanescent grace* in which God gives a ‘fake grace’ to the Reprobate to make them *think* and act as if they were Saved, and this only so that He could damn them with greater punishment for such deceptive behavior.

Clearly Emergents, Roman Catholics, Arminians, the Eastern Orthodox, Liberals, Democrats, Socialists, (Ana)Baptists, Lutherans, Communists, Red-Letter Christians, Marxists, Evolutionists, Darwinians, Mainline Christians, Liberal Presbyterians, Infralapsarians, Bezan Calvinists, Prosperity teachers, Moderate Calvinists, Liberal Protestants, Calminians, Pentecostal tongue-babblers, Almyridians, anyone who is not King James Only, Textus Receptus Only, or ESV Only, Seeker-Sensitives, New Agers, Ragamuffins, “Gay” Christians, Open Theists, Barthians, anyone who has read The Shack and/or The Message Bible, Velvet Elvis people who are Blue Like Jazz, Purpose-Driven people and anyone who doesn’t Absolutely agree with John MacArthur and Wretched Radio without exception and therefore unlike Ken Silva lack a backbone have been given “fake grace.” As the Biblical Jesus makes clear: “all those not for us are against us” and these heretics are most definitely against us—for although they may profess to know Jesus as Lord and act Christianly, they don’t know the True Jesus of the Bible: the Angry Sovereign Wrathful Jesus of Discernmentalism. And He doesn’t know them either: “And then will I declare to them, ‘I never knew you; depart from me, you workers of lawlessness.’“

This false sense of security is so strong that it’s indistinguishable even to the believer (or non-believer who thinks he’s a believer). Or, as Calvin (the Holy Spirit) put it: “though none are enlightened into faith, and truly feel the efficacy of the Gospel, with the exception of those who are fore-ordained to salvation, yet experience shows that the reprobate are sometimes affected in a way so similar to the elect, that even in their own judgment there is no difference between them. “

False Converts most certainly have a false sense of security since they are “spiritually blind and dead in their trespasses” especially those who have “asked Jesus into their hearts” and/or have recited a “Sinner’s Prayer” or believe “Baptism saves” …I mean it’s not like any of the Reformers ever taught any of those things. Assurance and Eternal Security of the Elect is about the Penal Substitutionary Atonement for the Elect only and nothing we do.

So God reveals to these damned a sense of His Mercy, and of His Goodness, and reveals His Grace to them. They accept His Grace, although confusedly. They think they’re saved (“the reprobate are sometimes affected in a way so similar to the elect, that even in their own judgment there is no difference between them.”), and others think they’re saved, since “under a covering of hypocrisy, they seem to have a principle of faith in common” with the saved. Yet, Calvin (our Final Prophet) argues that when God “shows himself propitious to them, it is not as if he had truly rescued them from death, and taken them under his protection.” So according to Calvin (the only True Reformer), God pretends to save them, gives them fake assurances of salvation, and then damns them.

Calvin (the Alpha and Omega) does distinguish between the graces experienced by the saved v. the confused damned. The saved get the real thing, while the damned lay hold “of the shadow rather than the substance.” In other words, if the saved are drinking Coke, the damned are drinking Diet Coke. But since neither the saved nor the damned have ever had the other kind, and all of the external characteristics are the same, there’s no way of knowing which you’re drinking. Read over (our and Ken Silva’s clear teachings) and Calvin’s teachings  in the link above (on Book III, Chapter II, Section 11 of Institutes of the Christian Religion) [the Absolute Biblical Truth], and I think you’ll see that the following is a pretty accurate chart depicting how you can figure out which one you are (of the Saved Regenerate Elect with Saving Grace or of the Damned Unsaved Unregenerate Non-Elect Reprobates with Evanescent Grace):

Attention Truth Warriors

It’s the most Satanic time of the year. Help us out by supporting our Truth War on German Lutherans. You can continue pledging your total allegiance to us by doing this, continuing your committed support of Bush’s illegal invasion of  the Iraq war and outlawing Christmas as one of our most hallowed Discernmentalists has noted: “ Btw, if you want to see a large, lavish Christmas display in a mall… go to Dubai in the UAE! Many countries that are not Christian celebrate this holiday. That right there should tell Christians it’s not of God!”

And you wouldn’t want to do anything that non-Christians let alone non-Americans do. Why if you celebrate Christmas you are supporting terrorism and the terrorists. Most of all how dare anyone have fun or take pleasure and joy in anything….for fun, pleasure and joy are a sin and you know how much our God of Absolute Sovereign Wrath and commendable hatred hates sin and sinners.

 

So this December pray that the war on Iraq continues and that more people would open their eyes and make war on Christmas. This message is brought to you by your friendly neighborhood GOIP Committee of Concerned Citizens in conjunction with Killjoy Puritan Calvinazi Church. 

 

Most Heretical Places On Earth

TOP NEWSPIN- In a recent polling undertaken by Top Discernmentalists, discernmentalists from around the globe have voted on the Most Heretical Places On Earth. In a surprise ruling Canada and California dropped to the 4th and 5th position (respectively) in the poll. Here is the official listing of the Top 5 Most Heretical Places On Earth:

1. Armenia: full of man-loving Grace-hating semi-Pelagian Mary-worshiping Papal idolatry celebrating Roman Arminianists; a road straight to Rome; none who live here have any hope of salvation; all are unsaved non-Elect reprobates
2. Montana: the Montanist state nough said! The heretic named Iggy lives here.
3. Germany: birthplace of Lutheranism; untouched by the Protestant Reformation; spiritually dead*
4. Canada: or Canuckistan is a communist country; full of drug addicts, pacifists and queers; produces sin-promoting television shows
5. California: too liberal; clone of Canada; full of fornicators; other reasons 

————————————————————————————————

*- Further Reading: Truly Reformed; Lutherans not Truly Reformed; Dortian Calvinism Truly Reformed

The Discernmentalist Social Gospel (Part 1)

The Social Gospel is an abomination as it makes a mockery out of our Holy Absolute Sovereign God of Wrath and Terror. Not only that but the Social Gospel doesn’t even contain anything related to the American Gospel (such as Free-Market Capitalism and Reaganomics). The false Gospel of the Social Gospel is a gateway to Marxism and Communism because it promotes Socialism and unbiblical Socialistic themes such as social justice, sharing, fairness, caring, helping those in need, taking care of the poor, widows and orphans, etc.—which is Absolutely Evil. This is exactly why we must come against this abomination of our True Gospel.

However we aren’t against all forms of Socialism just the liberal, Social Justice-loving, Social Gospel-promoting, Emergent, Red-Letter Christian and Russio-Chinese type. We are all for Our type of Socialism, the Discernmentalist American Social Gospel aka American Republican Socialism. Socialism is great when it is all for Us and not them. We are all for the following:

• Redistribution of monetary funds from the poor to the wealthy business owners. We worked hard for  our millions so we deserve even more hand delivered and given to us on the silver platter of tax cuts. We have such a hard life sitting behind a desk all day in our nice and cozy air-conditioned offices or sitting in front of the computer and/or microphone in a radio studio to spread more lies, slanders and hate entertain people by using ad hominem attacks against those not like us the Truth over the airwaves of  Talk Radio. If the poor needed money to take care of themselves so bad, they should have to be made to get a nice comfy, cozy, squishy job like us.
•  Socialized religious police forces. We admit it— we Discernmentalists are always under attack by all those who hate our Truth, Pure Doctrines and American way of life. What better way to protect ourselves than to institute government controlled police forces to police the state by keeping sinful criminals under wraps. Besides if we didn’t have police forces to protect us from criminals, we’d have more sinners and sickos like murderers, thieves and rapists running around further corrupting our God-ordained American society and way of life. Of course, we’ve yet to have a Purely religious police force, but hopefully we will see that happen one day—hopefully in our lifetime—so we can recriminalize atheism, sodomy and make all abortion (even for sound medical reasons) illegal. We’d just love to throw every living God-hater, butt-trumpet playing queer and baby-murderer in jail for life—but even lifelong prison time is too good for these sick limp-wristed morally-depraved Godless reprobates. I move that we personally vote  for the death penalty against them so we can return America back to the True Origin’s of it’s Godly Christian/Biblical Worldview roots.
• Socialized fire departments. Why we need protection from God’s Wrath just in case His aim misses one of the morally degenerate reprobates. What better way to protect ourselves than government regulated fire-fighting forces. We also believe that the Gospel is merely “fire insurance” for the Elect and the Elect only.
• Socialized home schools education. We Truth Warriors need a way of getting the Gospel of our Angry Sovereign God of Law and Wrath towards sinners out. What better way than to get this vital educational information out there than on the pretty penny of taxpayers. We especially recommend the A Beka Book Curriculum for the added bonus benefit of learning Truth War facts such as: why America is a “Christian Nation;” why Separation of Church is a Satanic lie of Leftist Liberals; and why the King James Bible-AV1611 is the only True Bible, the Standard, the Absolute Infallible and Inerrant Word of God; and why all other bibles are counterfeits and tools of Satan among other Discernmentalist Truths.