How To Spot A Grace-Hating Anabaptist Heretic In Your Church

July 10, 2010

Typical Anabaptists/Baptists minus the pitchforks, horns and tails. Photo of an actual Baptist Cult Coven Church service taking place just before they immerse new converts in foul smelling waters after walking down the aisle to the Altar to “make a decision to ask Christ Satan into their hearts;” then drink the blood of the dead as well  as steal other peoples’ money to give to the poor. Evilness—sheer evilness! Photo courtesy of Satan.

Finally we’ve nailed that idiot and a farce of a wannabe heretic and fake Christian, Ben Currin aka TheoPoet in the midst of supporting heresy:

Clearly these individuals are deluded not only that they are “unregenerate unsaved reprobates” not to be fellowshipped with as they aren’t even “Real Christians” like us as our Pure Doctrines attest:

“The Anabaptists (Baptists) are only mentioned by name twice, but…they had revived all the ancient heresies about the Holy Trinity and the Person of Christ…. Many of them were Pelagians…. Others claimed that, being regenerate, they were unable to commit sin…. Some depreciated all Scripture and placed themselves above even the Moral Law…. Some denied any need of ordination for Ministers, and claimed that the efficacy of all ministrations depended on the personal holiness of the Minister…. Infant baptism was denied…. All church discipline was repudiated…. Many held strange views about the descent into hell, the nature of the resurrection — and the future life, the ultimate salvation of all men, and millenarianism….. The authority of the State was impugned, and communism demanded.”

We know this is exactly what that idiot False Convert TheoPoet teaches and that he is secretly a “sectarian landmarkist” who hates our Pure Doctrines just look at the description of his apostate Blog:

“TheoPoetic Musings: RANDOM THEOLOGICAL THOUGHTS FROM AN ECUMENICAL POSTMODERN RADICAL REFORMED ARMINIAN NEO-ORTHODOX BARTHIAN MODERATE PROGRESSIVE TO LIBERAL BAPTIST PERSPECTIVE (OH AND SOME POETRY AND LYRICS,TOO) “—if that doesn’t smack of Pure Evil and divisive sectarianism then you must be “spiritually blind” and of the devil as well. Anyone who calls themself a Baptist, an Anabaptist or both or even says anything slighty positive about these “obstinate pig-dogs” should have their very salvation called into question. We Know that Spurgeon (a TrulyReformed Baptist Landmarkist Calvinist Christian) never had anything positive to say about Baptists nor Anabaptists as he believed and taught nothing but our Pure Doctrines. Anyone who is an Anabapist/Baptist is by default wrong as only We have the right to claim True Theology and True Church History:

P. S. Remember anyone who doesn’t bow down before our Pure Doctrines are the divisive ones not us. 

P. P. S. This article is 1000% Ken Silva-approved.


Emergents now infiltrating breakfast cereal!

March 31, 2010

In a dangerous twist of events, emergents are not only taking over the world but now infiltrating the world of food. This “NEW KIND OF CRUNCH” is an attempt to revisit cereals before the processed whole wheat period that has permeated so much of our known cereals today. Some say its a cereal that delivers for post-moderns (all the more reason NOT to eat it!)

We demand that this cereal be stopped!!! We can only guess that some time soon he will introduce whole grain oats, barley, and maize to this liberal mix. Its  processed whole-wheat or nothing!!! We demand processed cereals, thru the traditional well orchestrated mechanized & systematized big-farm approach of stripping all wheat fibre of any nutrition and  repackaging it into a one size fits all, no-fuss cardboard breakfast experience. Simply put, submit to our rules of cereal expectations.

We demand nothing less. Reject the new kind of crunch!

Truthslayer


New game for discernmentalists….by discernmentalists.

March 17, 2010

Discernmentalists are all about games. Mind games, word games board games and the like. But this time we have outdone ourselves. We believe there are TOO MANY pharisees out there (like you). You do not submit to our mighty teachings – but you should.  We give thanks that we are NOT like them…we are glad we are not like you!

That is why we created this game, to remind ourselves about everyone else. We don’t associate with a lot of people (like you) simply because you are not holy enough to be around us. In fact most  Online Discernmentalist doctrines are simply not pure enough to even meet our standards and our rules .  This is what the game is all about – rules, morals & standards. For instance when we tithe…its at 10.5%, when we fast we don’t shave or comb our hair and make our hardship postings on facebook.

We are suspicious of everyone and assume the worst...BECAUSE we know you are sinners…and can’t possibly meet our standards (but you should). We think you should carry heavy loads (especially guilt), but we ourselves don’t have to have the same guidelines because we are above it all (that goes without saying). Indeed we like to point out the faults of others, but use different standards for ourselves….because we can….and we don’t not accept criticism well (you usually don’t when you are as perfect as us!)

I highly recommend this game!

Get that game finger out and start pointing!!!!!

Truthslayer endorsed!

PS Pastor iTodyaso and Don Jobson also encourage everyone to play this game at least once.


Why we support paedobaptiphobia

February 19, 2010

Typical baptist unregenerate baptism against Calvin's doctrines!

Let me break this word down for the ignorant unrepentant masses that read this blog only to mock our inferiority. We here have just made up a new word, because that is just how smart we are here at the ODMafia. So, you slack jaw locals who think that Phil Johnson’s Hugh Ass was parody, this is what paedobaptiphobia means.

paedo: Pertaining to children.

bapti: Pertaining to Baptists who immerse children in water.

phobia: Pertaining to fear of things in general but when connected to a word means you fear that word.

Therefore, you now know what the word “paedobaptiphobia” means. It means fear of baptist who baptise children.

Now, we know that is pure unadulterated heresy per John MacArthur (per our own award winning theologian Don Jobson) and that John Calvin would have never taught such a horrible doctrine! For John Calvin’s doctrine was almost as pure as our own! So, we support paedobaptiphobia in all forms and detest the unsaved Baptists who do not bow to our doctrines!  BTW, we here at the ODMafia do not need a list of reasons we call infant baptism heresy like Piper or MacArthur. Why? It is heresy because we say it is and that is good enough for us and should be good enough for you!


Counteract Brian McLaren’s New Book By Buying Ours Instead

January 27, 2010

Brian McLaren’s worthless book:

Our Book—Priceless:

Just like we were not happy with Brian McLaren’s book A Generous Orthodoxy….we are not happy with his new  book either….eventhough it is yet released….We Know it is full of heresy especially because we are a discernmentalist ministry and stand for true Absolute biblical truth. This is why we’ve gotten John MacArthur and Todd Friel to write our version of  his new book before it even comes out after using Eric Barger’s time machine to spot all the heresy in Brian’s book .

Also, you may have heard of this phrase from the Reformation: “Ecclesia reformata semper reformanda—The Church should be reformed and always reforming.” Well using Eric Barger’s time machine again—we’ve found that  none of the Reformers said that. This is why we must oppose Brian’s new book with a Holy Angry Passion as those Emergents are always trying to reform our Absolute Truth, our Pure Churches and our Pure Doctrines. We also believe that Reformed Emergent/Emerging House Churches do not exist. Reformed  and Emergent  are oxymorons as Ken Silva teaches therefore there are no such creatures as Reformed Emergents because Ken Silva is always right. This is always why we stand by our reformatted Reformation motto: “Semper 1600’s—Always 1600’s always”—that’s right because we’ve discovered all the Truth we need to know about God in the 1600’s. There is nothing else about God that needs to be revealed to us—the Reformers and the King James Bible revealed everything about God to us—so we must always stay in the 1600’s and think like they did in the 1600’s as well.

Dr. Don Jobson, Dr. Truthslayer and Dr. I. Todyaso—Sola 1600’s (1600’s alone).


God Gave Us Words Not Images

January 21, 2010

God gave us words and not images in order to convey all Absolute Truth. Foolish Postmodern unbelieving Emergents like R. Crumb trying to illustrate the Bible deny this with their evil “Purposeful Seeker-Sensitive image-driven” ways. Al Mohler explains why R. Crumb’s apostate and heretical work is wrong—hear what he has to say:

Crumb’s work reminds us that God gave us words, not images, as His means of revelation. The prohibition against images is not just a divine preference, it is a command. Looking at Crumb’s work makes the force of this prohibition all the more clear. Crumb interprets (or misinterprets) with every image and characterization. His style dominates the narrative — which is precisely the danger. And Crumb insists that he tried his best to restrain himself. “I’m not ridiculing it, just illustrating the exact words that are there.”

Afterall, words are not symbolic images and are never idolized. Also you will never catch any True Christian believer in the glorious Reformed Doctrines Of Wrath Grace using images in our Bibles. We here at the OD Mafia promise to take a stand on the “Whole Discernmentalist Truth” and never compromise our presentation of that Truth with images.

Don Jobson—GOIP Iconoclast.


Help Us Fight The Red Menace!

January 12, 2010

Dear Dr. Jobson,

I want to know how I can help fight the Red Menace. I am sick of all these Red-Letter Christians trying to force me into charitable causes and handing over my hard-earned money that I worked for myself to help them alleviate poverty. I believe as the Bible plainly teaches that if the poor lazy bums of the world were intended to have money that God would have predestined them to be Elect, rich and Republican from the foundation of the world. Afterall, John 12:8 states: “For the poor always ye have with you.”

Sincerely,

Rich White Scrooge, born Elect Republican.

———————————————————————————————————

Dear Mr. Scrooge,

You are Absolutely Right—Red-Letter Christians are a menace to society. The nerve of some Christians exalting Jesus above Paul’s words as the  late GOIP  Discernmentalist Dr. D. James Kennedy use to say: “Christianity is not based on the teachings of Jesus.” We suggest that you help us Truth Warriors out by buying Jan Markell‘s “Truth Dollars” to aid in the fight against the Red Menace. Each “Truth Dollar” helps to support impoverished Truth Warriors on the front-line by equipping them with Absolute Truth facts from Eric Barger’s ONE OF EVERYTHING DISCERNMENTALIST SPECIAL! We hope that we have your support in helping our cause for the non-Jesus centered teaching of Reaganism and the Gospel of God’s wrath against the poor.

Sincerely,

Dr. Don Jobson, swindling, stealing, rallying for the cause of  Absolute Truth.


Discernmentalist Quotes For The New Decade

January 4, 2010

Sharin’ Whiplash (July 8th, 2009 at 8:55 am) :

One of my all-time heroes of the faith. What a great man, and greatly used of God as our Final Prophet and executioner of heretics. Thank You, Lord, for Your servant, Jean Cauvin, without whom we would be still struggling in the darkness of Roman Arminianism, that man-exalting heresy, being Christ-like and bearing the Fruits of the Spirit.

Tyrone V. Hoofendorfer on Obama:

The BIGGEST reason we are in this financial recession is the current worthless and worst president ever, Obuma. Impeach him and things will immediately get better. You will thank me later. Haters….BEGIN

Tyrone V. Hoofendorfer on Adam Lambert and homos in general:

  Time was when they would put someone in jail for acting like that on TV. We need to get back to those days. I would see NOTHING wrong with putting that guy in jail!!

Tyrone V. Hoofendorfer on Peace-mongers:

1:25PM Dec 2nd 2009
David, David, David… why don’t you just get on the boat now? Or a ship, or, Hell, for that matter walk if you have to!! Just leave!! Take that one way trip to Cuba, or China or Venezuela RIGHT NOW!! True Americans do not want you here anymore. Hell, admit it, YOU don’t want to be here. I saw you on Chris Matthews stupid little show where he called West Point “the enemy camp.” West Point is the enemy camp huh. Naturally you said NOTHING about this point because leftist Communist pigs like yourself truly see it that way. Leave David, leave America! It is for those who LOVE it, not hate it like you do!!!!

Tyrone V. Hoofendorfer in defense of  War:

12:59PM Nov 30th 2009
Hey David (A)corn, You communist jerk!! How did your recent conversations with Putin, Castro, Hugo Chavez and Chairman Obama go? Did they help you with any ideas to publish with your daily Communist agenda? Gotta run…Hollah!!!
The reviewer wrote:

“I would have been fascinated to read a comparison of how Protestants are treated in, say, Italy, Spain, Portugal or France”

Well, as everyone knows, Protestants in Italy, Spain, Portugal and France are rounded up under the cover of darkness by Albino assassin monks, all members of an ultra-secret Opus Dei albino monk assassin squad, and these Protestants are, again, under cover of darkness, turned into a food supplement called “Soylent Green.”

That’s why Protestants never, ever go to Italy, Spain, Portugal or France.

The Eiffel Tower? The Cote d’Azur? The Coleisseum?

Don’t be fooled. These are all traps, traps I tell you, that these devastatingly clever Catholics have set up in order to lure innocent Protestants into traveling to Europe!

Be wise, my friends, be wise! Don’t travel to Europe! Soylent Green is Protestants!


Twilight Of Emergent Idolatry: New Age Apostasy

December 10, 2009

Twilight Of Emergent Idolatry: New Age Apostasy is a sequel to the much beloved Tween Apostate classic of Emergent Babel, Twilight Of Emergent Idols. These Apostate films are based on the Emergent Twilight book series co-authored by a female Mormon false religionist and a bunch of Emergent heretics. A bunch of morons more like it! These films are spiritual confusing for sure! Why they even teach such confusing and postmodern Emergent ideas as: people have souls, there is good and evil in the world, “love conquers all,” redemption, wholesome values, etc.  Discernmentalists do not be fooled by these apostate values since this book series was written by heretics so therefore these anti-Biblical values are opposed to our core Discernmentalist values of  only the Elect have souls, the world is totally depraved, self-righteousness and war-mongering conquer all, wrath, etc.

We Know with Absolute Certainty these Absolute Truths! Todd Friel using Eric Barger’s Bible Based Selective Uncomprohensive Cherry-Picking Reading Machine has said of the newest installment in the Emergent Twilight series that it in fact promotes the false teaching of: “How to Tell God, ‘You’re not the Lord of me. I’ll do whatever I want’.” Yes we should fear and be paranoid of fictional books and films this much as True Truthwarriors. Anyways, the newest installment in the Emergent Twilight series—Twilight Of Emergent Idolatry: New Age Apostasy stars all your favorite Emergent heretics: Rob “Universalist” Bell, Phyllis Tickle “Your Ears” and Tony “I Have No Truth” Jones among others and Dakota Fanning whom these evil Emergents corrupt and turn into a contemplative Soul-sucking vampire.

Here was sweet little Dakota when she was a Bible-believing Southern Baptist:

And here is Dakota after those Evil Emergents kidnapped her and forced her to star in their sin-promoting movies—Hounddog, Twilight Of Emergent Idolatry: New Age Apostasy and now even more heretical movies:

Here Dakota is in an Emergent coven:

And the ensuing results of the evil Emergents’ spiritual apostasy are working on Dakota:

 

See the difference—We Do—Absolutely! This is why we Discernmentalists must warn you parents to never take your children to movies that we don’t approve of —because your children are too dumb to realize the fine lines between fantasy and reality—and Emergents blur them constantly. This is why we must set the standard for you and tell you to boycott Twilight Of Emergent Idolatry: New Age Apostasy and the like.


Brian McLaren Directly Assaults Discernmentalists

December 3, 2009

Discernmentalists, we are under direct attack on a daily basis. We need to rally to arms and put on the aggressive defense. Just last month Brian McLaren directly assaulted Uncle Ken Silva and Aunt Ingrid Schlueter of Slice Of  Laodicea. Ingrid was caught yelling in a headlock:

What an appallingly dishonest way to deal with your critics, McLaren.

which  inspired her to write this scathing critique of her ordeal:

Brian McLaren Paints Critics as Gay-Hating Bigots

by Ingrid Schlueter

Emergent author Brian McLaren doesn’t believe in a literal Second Coming of Jesus. He has problems with the penal substitutionary atonement of Jesus on the cross. A literal hell with eternal torment for those who reject Christ? Not likely. The Genesis account of the fall of man? Not true. But instead of addressing his own spiritual rebellion, Brian appears to want to paint his critics as bigots. In a recent blog post, McLaren demands that what he calls “discernment websites” (he used the quote marks) address an African country’s attempts to codify severe penalties for homosexuality into law. He seems to imply that these same “discernment ministries” would automatically support the arrest and execution of gays by Uganda.

For the record, Brian, that’s a pretty nasty strategy to use against those who point to your heretical doctrinal views. While emergents supposedly are intellectual, open-minded people who enjoy conversations with subtle nuances and lots of mystery, McLaren actually sees things in black and white. Anyone who is not willing to jettison cardinal doctrine and embrace his “new kind of Christianity” is painted as ready to commit hate crimes and would support mistreating gays. What an appallingly dishonest way to deal with your critics, McLaren.

Ken was found wounded in the fray but not hurt. We asked him for comment and all he could murmur was:

It’s interesting this “minister” would place quotations around “discernment websites.” Well, as one of said sites, I can tell McLaren that I personally do not at all “enjoy featuring and critiquing the work” of any of these postliberal rebels against the final authority of God’s Word. The Lord knows that I’d much rather go back to apologetics and evangelizing those lost in the kingdom of the cults.

Indeed this is why we must go back on the aggressive defense and never compromise on preaching the whole ‘discernmentalist’ truth to all liberal, apostate, heretics!


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