The Discernmentalist War On Christ-Mass!

November 25, 2011

NEW CANEY, Texas — Dry, brown grass crunches underfoot as David Barfield walks through his 45-acre Christmas tree farm pointing at evergreens covered with brittle, rust-colored needles.
“Dead tree, dead tree, dead tree,” he says, shaking his head at dry timber he hoped would be chopped down by parents with excited children.
Boo freaking who!… God hates that evil Satanic pagan man-glorifying semi-Pelagian Roman-Arminian self-exalting unbiblical Holy Day Christ-Mass anyways. We know so. Glory be to our Angry God for pouring out His Sovereign Wrath through a drought against the hordes of Satanic Babylonian Pagan X-mas trees.

I would to God that every holy day (including Christmas – ed.) whatsoever besides the Lord’s day were abolished. That zeal which brought them first in, was without all warrant of the Word, and merely followed corrupt reason, forsooth to drive out the holy days of the pagans, as one nail drives out another. Those holy days have been so tainted with superstitions that I wonder we tremble not at their very names.” – Martin Bucer, cited in William Ames, A Fresh Suit Against Human Ceremonies in God’s Worship (1633), pp. 359-60.

“And next in particular, concerning festival days findeth that in the explication of the first head of the first book of discipline it was thought good that the feasts of Christmas, Circumcision, Epiphany, with the feasts of the Apostles, Martyrs, and Virgin Mary be utterly abolished because they are neither commanded nor warranted by Scripture and that such as observe them be punished by Civil Magistrates. Here utter abolition is craved and not reformation of abuses only and that because the observation of such feasts have no warrant from the word of God.” – The Acts of the General Assemblies of the Church of Scotland, December 10, Session 17, 1638, pp. 37-38

Remember also these immortal words from Sharon M. Whitley: “Btw, if you want to see a large, lavish Christmas display in a mall… go to Dubai in the UAE! Many countries that are not Christian celebrate this holiday. That right there should tell Christians it’s not of God!”

P. S. Please don’t forget to celebrate the Holy Discernmentalist Holidays of Thanksgiving and Calvin’s Birthday in your churches and everywhere because these are not man-exalting semi-Pelagian Pagan Romanist made-up Holy Days invented by humans but Absolute Truth Biblical holidays commanded by God to be observed in the inerrant infallible Holy Discernmentalist Bible.


WWJMD If Jesus Came To Grace Community Church?

September 13, 2011


What would John MacArthur (P. B. U. H.)  do if Jesus visited Grace Community Church? Why point his self-righteous finger of condemnation and judgment at that smug Roman Mystical Liberal Fascist Wine-Drinking Tree-Hugging Commie sinner, of course!

Lets see here—Case #1—Luke 7:33-34 states: “33For John the Baptist came neither eating bread nor drinking wine; and ye say, He hath a devil./34The Son of man is come eating and drinking; and ye say, Behold a gluttonous man, and a winebibber, a friend of publicans and sinners!” If it looks like a drunkard; if it acts like a drunkard—it must be a drunkard. Simple Discernmentalist Math and as we know John MacArthur (P. B. U. H.) has stated that anyone whose lips have touched one single drop of an alcoholic liquid is a boozing sinner. Also a fellow MacArthurite (P. B. U. H.) has exclaimed: “…it only takes one sip of your legal wine to become a drunk, addicted to the stuff.”

Case #2—Matthew 5:43-48 says:

43Ye have heard that it hath been said, Thou shalt love thy neighbour, and hate thine enemy.

44But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you;

45That ye may be the children of your Father which is in heaven: for he maketh his sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sendeth rain on the just and on the unjust.

46For if ye love them which love you, what reward have ye? do not even the publicans the same?

47And if ye salute your brethren only, what do ye more than others? do not even the publicans so?

48Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect.

You hear that Jesus talked about love. Love means pleasure and pleasure leads to sinful activities of the flesh—clearly Jesus was into Pornographic Divination. These are just two in a list of many offenses of Jesus that warrant John MacArthur (P. B. U. H.)’s self-Righteous finger of condemnation—so bow to our Glorious Elder’s Holy Finger of Judgment and keep spreading the fear and hate of all things Emergent and Young Restless & Reformed.


Feeding Sheep or Entertaining Goats at Church Nurseries?

April 21, 2011

Mainstream evangelicalism is literally in the toilet or is that diaper pails to be more correct. Anyways recently our Research Robot Monkeys came upon some startling information concerning several Mainstream American Churches. This Revelation is so shocking… so blasphemous… We can only conclude it must be an abomination to God. Here is this abominable revelation in all of it’s worldly filth: several churches our Research Robot Monkeys have visited have decorated their nurseries with various children’s themes and are filled with worldly toys in an attempt to attract kids to Jesus. (Photo of one of these horrible Seeker-Sensitive Emergent Purpose-Driven nurseries included above).

How disgusted we are at this Seeker-Driven nonsense! Quote from one of these horrible false churches defending their foolishness: “Our nursery (decorated in a child-friendly motif) gives Pre-School members a reason to invite their friends to church. That is what Christ’s Family Church is all about; reaching those toddlers and others who have become disenchanted with religion but are searching for a relationship with Jesus Christ.”

So… somehow, a flashy nursery is supposed to save sinful souls. Even one local newspaper for toddlers wrote an article titled, “Come for the Nursery, Stay for the Service.” We have moved from John the Baptist proclaiming truth in the wilderness, to using a hormone-induced and child-friendly designed nursery to lure kids to a building. While there is nothing wrong with a nifty and fun nursery, there is plenty wrong with using it to attract people to Jesus. We implore kids to come to the Savior, not come for the nursery. We promote Jesus, not the amenities. Church is for Christians, not curiosity seekers. We win them to the Lord, not by being hip. Evangelism is to be done by church members and nursery-workers, not the nursery itself.

As Spurgeon once said:

An evil is in the professed camp of the Lord, so gross in its impudence, that the most shortsighted Christian can hardly fail to notice it. During the past few years this evil has developed at an alarming rate. It has worked like leaven until the whole lump ferments! The devil has seldom done a more clever thing, than hinting to the Church that part of their mission is to provide entertainment for the people, with a view to winning them. From speaking out the gospel, the Church has gradually toned down her testimony, then winked at and excused the frivolities of the day. Then she tolerated them in her borders. Now she has adopted them under the plea of reaching the masses! My first contention is that providing amusement for the people is nowhere spoken of in the Scriptures as a function of the Church. If it is a Christian work why did not Christ speak of it? “Go into all the world and preach the gospel to every creature, and provide amusement for those who do not relish the gospel.” No such words, however, are to be found. Again, providing amusement is in direct antagonism to the teaching and life of Christ and all His apostles. What was the attitude of the apostolic Church to the world? “You are the salt of the world,” not the sugar candy; something the world will spit out, not swallow. Had Jesus introduced more of the bright and pleasant elements into His teaching, He would have been more popular. When “many of His disciples turned back and no longer followed Him,” I do not hear Him say, “Run after these people, Peter, and tell them we will have a different style of service tomorrow; something short and attractive with little preaching. We will have a pleasant evening for the people. Tell them they will be sure to enjoy it! Be quick, Peter, we must get the people somehow!” No! Jesus pitied sinners, sighed and wept over them, but never sought to amuse them! In vain will the epistles be searched to find any trace of the “gospel of amusement.” Anything approaching amusement is conspicuous by its absence. They had boundless confidence in the gospel and employed no other weapon. Lastly, amusement fails to effect the end desired. Let the heavy laden who found peace through the concert not keep silent! Let the drunkard to whom the dramatic entertainment had been God’s link in the chain of their conversion, stand up! There are none to answer! The mission of amusement produces no converts! The need of the hour for today’s ministry is earnest spirituality joined with Biblical doctrine, so understood and felt, that it sets men on fire.

From all of those churches that have Emergent Seeker-Driven nurseries we can conclude that:

  • 1. Many Evangelicals no longer believe that Scripture is sufficient. They need tools to enhance the Gospel to get regular attenders.
  • 2. They clearly have no idea what the Gospel is.



How To Tell If You’re Really Saved Or Not

January 2, 2011

John Calvin (the Final Arbiter of All Christian Truth) clearly taught something called *evanescent grace* in which God gives a ‘fake grace’ to the Reprobate to make them *think* and act as if they were Saved, and this only so that He could damn them with greater punishment for such deceptive behavior.

Clearly Emergents, Roman Catholics, Arminians, the Eastern Orthodox, Liberals, Democrats, Socialists, (Ana)Baptists, Lutherans, Communists, Red-Letter Christians, Marxists, Evolutionists, Darwinians, Mainline Christians, Liberal Presbyterians, Infralapsarians, Bezan Calvinists, Prosperity teachers, Moderate Calvinists, Liberal Protestants, Calminians, Pentecostal tongue-babblers, Almyridians, anyone who is not King James Only, Textus Receptus Only, or ESV Only, Seeker-Sensitives, New Agers, Ragamuffins, “Gay” Christians, Open Theists, Barthians, anyone who has read The Shack and/or The Message Bible, Velvet Elvis people who are Blue Like Jazz, Purpose-Driven people and anyone who doesn’t Absolutely agree with John MacArthur and Wretched Radio without exception and therefore unlike Ken Silva lack a backbone have been given “fake grace.” As the Biblical Jesus makes clear: “all those not for us are against us” and these heretics are most definitely against us—for although they may profess to know Jesus as Lord and act Christianly, they don’t know the True Jesus of the Bible: the Angry Sovereign Wrathful Jesus of Discernmentalism. And He doesn’t know them either: “And then will I declare to them, ‘I never knew you; depart from me, you workers of lawlessness.’

This false sense of security is so strong that it’s indistinguishable even to the believer (or non-believer who thinks he’s a believer). Or, as Calvin (the Holy Spirit) put it: “though none are enlightened into faith, and truly feel the efficacy of the Gospel, with the exception of those who are fore-ordained to salvation, yet experience shows that the reprobate are sometimes affected in a way so similar to the elect, that even in their own judgment there is no difference between them. “

False Converts most certainly have a false sense of security since they are “spiritually blind and dead in their trespasses” especially those who have “asked Jesus into their hearts” and/or have recited a “Sinner’s Prayer” or believe “Baptism saves” …I mean it’s not like any of the Reformers ever taught any of those things. Assurance and Eternal Security of the Elect is about the Penal Substitutionary Atonement for the Elect only and nothing we do.

So God reveals to these damned a sense of His Mercy, and of His Goodness, and reveals His Grace to them. They accept His Grace, although confusedly. They think they’re saved (“the reprobate are sometimes affected in a way so similar to the elect, that even in their own judgment there is no difference between them.”), and others think they’re saved, since “under a covering of hypocrisy, they seem to have a principle of faith in common” with the saved. Yet, Calvin (our Final Prophet) argues that when God “shows himself propitious to them, it is not as if he had truly rescued them from death, and taken them under his protection.” So according to Calvin (the only True Reformer), God pretends to save them, gives them fake assurances of salvation, and then damns them.

Calvin (the Alpha and Omega) does distinguish between the graces experienced by the saved v. the confused damned. The saved get the real thing, while the damned lay hold “of the shadow rather than the substance.” In other words, if the saved are drinking Coke, the damned are drinking Diet Coke. But since neither the saved nor the damned have ever had the other kind, and all of the external characteristics are the same, there’s no way of knowing which you’re drinking. Read over (our and Ken Silva’s clear teachings) and Calvin’s teachings  in the link above (on Book III, Chapter II, Section 11 of Institutes of the Christian Religion) [the Absolute Biblical Truth], and I think you’ll see that the following is a pretty accurate chart depicting how you can figure out which one you are (of the Saved Regenerate Elect with Saving Grace or of the Damned Unsaved Unregenerate Non-Elect Reprobates with Evanescent Grace):


Black Friday ready!

November 27, 2010

We at ODMafia are BLACK FRIDAY ready. Discernmentalists traditionally  ignore consumerism, capitalism or anything else that would undermine the America Way of Life….and this is with good reason. A true discernmentalist believes that the American Way of Life is the Christian Way of Life. To say one is to accept the other and vice-versa. That is why we have introduced SAFE-BUY. It is a credit card made by discernmentalists for discernmentalists.

The card, carefully engineered will prevent you from buying purchases that could cause you to become a heretic or a liberal. In the event that you mistakenly try to buy NOOMA DVD’s the card will red-flag this purchase and the cashier will be instructed to slap you in the face. Instead you will be directed to purchase bible-believing DVD’s that help you to fear, worry and fret. In addition, you will learn how misquoting speakers will give you impressions that almost everyone in the church is a heretic, giving you the gnostic impression – you and only you have an side track on all things false.

Moreover, discernmentalist DVD’s will help to shape a cartoon, binary universe that will ensure that only those who say “Bible Believing” are the only ones telling the truth. Remember, discenrmentalist DVD’s don’t use the dodgy marketing techniques that other false ministries use, rather only the biblically righteous methods.

Remember this card is patriotic!

Truthslayer endorsed!

PS this card will provide absolute certainty


The Demarcation Line – Part 2 (Don’t rock the boat!)

November 19, 2010

We support Eric’s mighty stand. Do you????

He notes “Now, just as in the “Age of the Apologist” (2nd century AD), when Bible believers rock the boat of the liberals, Emergents, and cultists, etc., particular individuals whose comfort zone has been violated react negatively against us.”

Translation: Rocking the boat equals asking questions about our current biblical assumptions (ie foundationalism, attachment to nationalism & modernism), assuming not everything the Reformers noted as gospel truth, critical thinking, questioning literalism or being pro-peace (which is really a form of anti-christ marxism), opposing strawman arguments and misapprehending truth.

Moreover, if you do not hold to a modernistic biblical worldview….you are a liberal emergent , or just plain emergent or worse (really its all the same, there is no point in any form of critical thinking here). Remember, if you do not agree with Take A Stand Ministries you are categorically a liberal (we support this view).

Don’t rock the boat. Just believe Eric’s Take A Stand Ministries when he states that they “bible believing folk” because that means that those in opposition to straw man attacks, adhominem arguments are simply anti-bible.

Remember we need to use whatever methods work to defend the truth, even if they are not truthful.

Truthslayer


Keep fear alive!

November 11, 2010

With the all new MIND CONTROL SPRAY (researched by ODMAFIA) – you simply apply the spray to any clear thinking person rejects your illogical lines of random and ill conceived thoughts. Whomever is sprayed will begin to succumb to such as phrases as “bible believing,” “absolute biblical truth,” and “bible based, ” as a form of self-affirming circular logic. Because we say its true…it is true  Using these phrases coupled with almost any idea imaginable will enable someone under control of the MIND CONTROL SPRAY to appreciate any insight you have as “bible believing” etc. In addition, if you suffer from any latent paranoia regarding the potential for false teaching this will aid in bringing your fears to an entirely new level. With MIND CONTROL SPRAY you will quickly begin referring everyone who does not measure up to your perfect doctrine as unAmerican, unbiblical, liberal, left-wing, emergent, catholic, anglican, liberal-biased, heretic, communist, democrat, socialist, marxist, peaceniks and anti-semite.

Bible based slander is needed in these troubling times….be sure to order yours today!

Truthslayer endorsed.

PS Use two squirts of Mind Control to reduce any peace loving, anti-war sentiment.


The Discernmentalist Social Gospel (Part 1)

October 14, 2010

The Social Gospel is an abomination as it makes a mockery out of our Holy Absolute Sovereign God of Wrath and Terror. Not only that but the Social Gospel doesn’t even contain anything related to the American Gospel (such as Free-Market Capitalism and Reaganomics). The false Gospel of the Social Gospel is a gateway to Marxism and Communism because it promotes Socialism and unbiblical Socialistic themes such as social justice, sharing, fairness, caring, helping those in need, taking care of the poor, widows and orphans, etc.—which is Absolutely Evil. This is exactly why we must come against this abomination of our True Gospel.

However we aren’t against all forms of Socialism just the liberal, Social Justice-loving, Social Gospel-promoting, Emergent, Red-Letter Christian and Russio-Chinese type. We are all for Our type of Socialism, the Discernmentalist American Social Gospel aka American Republican Socialism. Socialism is great when it is all for Us and not them. We are all for the following:


Precious American Gospel Bible Verses

July 26, 2010

Any True Christian American Patriot and True Citizen of the Kingdom of God aka America should keep these Bible verses as close to their hearts as their guns and ammunition:

For Christ came to butcher, destroy, bomb and burn our enemies so that they may die more violently. (John MacArthur 10:10).

The Lord is not slack concerning his promise, as some men count slackness; but is long-suffering to us-ward, and is willing that all our enemies should perish, so that America may stand forever. (Second Peter Ruckman 3:9).

 For we know Him who said, “VENGEANCE IS OURS TO REPAY.” And again, “AMERICA WILL JUDGE ALL PEOPLE.” sayeth the Lord. (Bob “Hebrews” Jones 10:30).

But I tell you: Hate your enemies and pray an Imprecatory Prayer that God through American Military Might might smite as many of them as possible. (Matthew Ken Silva 5:44).

—All Scriptures  quoted from the 1611 King James Bible the Authorized American Version aka Chuck Norris’ Bible.


We need more suit and ties needed than any other time in history!

July 14, 2010

Very Concerned Nazarenes against unapproved t-shirts is acting fast.  They are more angry, and more righteous  and more concerned than other people who generally make the claim of being concerned (like Extra Concerned Nazarenes who are not affiliated with Very Concerned Nazarenes!) We are very-extra-extremely-concerned (even more so than Very Concerned Nazarenes). We worry that people like Dan Kimball and John Armstrong (rumoured to be attempting to take over the church) have been seen WITHOUT a suit and tie (even found lounging in unaproved t-shirts). Yes you HEARD it from us!

Thank-goodness that we have an approved attire wearing anti-t-shirt sloganeering truth warrior in our midst.  Indeed as a back-up we have John MacArthur too (who was born with a suit tailor made to his body).Where would we be today without such a mighty crusade? Thank-goodness our suit wearing crusader is not like those -t shirt wearers who are not worthy to tie up our dress shoes. We NEED more suits and ties today then any other time in history (that is why we created the Bible Based Suit).

If this crusade is a success everyone will soon be able to enter a Starbucks and see everyone dressed in suits and ties, or at least with T-shirts that are approved by Take A Stand Ministries & Very Concerned Nazarenes (we still do not think they are concerned enough!!!) The world will once more be safe for a morally driven society. ODMafia officially believes most t-shirt wearers are emergents from the future here to destroy the church in the present.

Truthslayer

PS I never had to discard my unholy wardrobe since I have always believed a true Christian wears a suit (obviously blessed by a pre-approved doctrinally pure church). If you seek to have the same standards that I have (which are perfect) you will do the same….or face my wrath and a wagging finger.


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