Love wins people over to heresy!

April 4, 2011

Ladies, Gentleman, and Underlings,  we knew that the fallout from the Rob Bell heretical view of non-hell was going to undermine the truth of scripture and lead many astray (sorry for the lack of grammatical clarity but we are so upset over this news we can’t use punctuation properly) but never did we imagine the magnitude of   the fallout.  Nor did we imagine the swiftness in which the Devil was going to lead people astray.   Nor did we think that our leadership would fall.

What’s the big news?

Hold on to your phylacteries,  bathe in holy water, hide the eyes of the innocent, and prepare the millstones:  R.C. Sproul (a.k.a second in charge [behind John McArthur PBUH] of calvinist dogma doctrine) says GOD IS IN HELL!    I wish we could say that we are making this up,  we wish that we could say that there was some confusion of intent, we wish that we could say wait until the book comes out but we can’t.  The truth is that R.C. Sproul believes firmly that GOD IS IN HELL based on this excerpt from his upcoming book “The place of God’s Disfavor”.

The problem with hell is not simply the absence of God’s graciousness. It is the presence of God that is so difficult. God is present in hell because He is omnipresent. The psalmist declares, “Where can I go from Your Spirit? Or where can I flee from Your presence? If I ascend into heaven, You are there; If I make my bed in hell, behold, You are there” (Ps. 139:7-8). If God is everywhere in His being, then certainly He is in hell as much as He is anywhere else. The problem, then, is what He is doing there. He’s there in His judgment. He is there in His punitive wrath. He is present in hell as the One who executes His justice on those who are there. That’s why I say that anyone who is in hell would most want God, more than anyone else, to leave.

 

Rob Bell says there is no Hell.  R.C. Sproul says God is in Hell.  What next? God is Dead? Only God knows…well…and us.  After all we are discermentalists!


Tin-Foil Hat Theology: A Discernmentalist’s Best Friend!

May 29, 2010

 

We support Tin-Foil Hat Theology in all of it’s glory. Forget the Purpose-Driven heretical drivel of Rick Warren—we support the Conspiracy-Driven Church. Remember Truth is under attack by our enemies—-some of whom have even crept up into our churches uninvited by secret cloaking Truth-bending tactics. These Spiritual Terrorists are otherwise known as the Emergent Church and/or Red-Letter Christians.

They have sneaked inside of our churches in order to bend the Truth to their evil overlord Brian McLaren’s ungodly and unbiblical libertarian free-will. Rather than serving the Pure and Absolute Sovereign God of Wrath, whose Absolute Glory is man’s chief end—they’d rather serve their sinful, prideful and selfish ways and therefore they bow down to Satan, the Master of all Untruth, which makes materialism, selfishness and human pride and sin man’s chief end.

Remember also that God’s Sovereign Truth is so precious and fragile that it needs protecting by mere mortals using any means necessary including slander, libel,  lies and other worldly weapons (this is the Truth War afterall)—this is where conspiracy theories come in handy and why Tin-Foil Hat Theology is a Discernmentalist’s best friend. The nuttier the conspiracy theory the better to help defend and protect the Absolute Truth. Here are some of our personal favorite conspiracies that Brannon Howse has uncovered and taught us over the years :

- non-Zionists, Emergents, socialists, globalists, Muslims, communists, atheists, heathens, Red-Letter Christians, Marxists and secular Jews are all attempting to take over the world.

- International bankers are trying to take over the world.

- The Illuminati, or other clandestine groups, are attempting to take over the world.

- NASA and the government are covering over the truth about UFOs.

- NASA and the government are covering over the truth about cities on Mars and the moon.

- NASA and the government are covering over the truth that the Apollo missions were hoaxes.

- The government is covering over the assassination or assassination attempts on high-profile government officials like JFK or Ron Brown or the attempt on Final President Reagan. 

- Muslims are responsible for all acts of terrorism around the world.

- Obama is a Secular-Humanist Muslim atheist and the Anti-Christ bent on destroying America through Communistic Socialism and helping our enemies take over the world.

 – the government is covering over their involvement in orchestrating the events of September 11th, 2001, with remote control planes, cruise missiles, and controlled demolitions with Muslims’ and liberals’ help. (Source: New World Order Weekend).

The noted and award-winning Discernmentalist Tin-Foil Hat Theologian Ken Silva wants our students to know that: “Conspiracies are just too difficult to keep secret even when there are only one or two people keeping the secret.”… so help us to expose all to the secret conspiracies  of our enemies who are all out there trying to destroy the Truth and the church…And as always, spread the fear and hate!


There Be Floods A-Coming!

March 31, 2010

New World Order Weekend using Eric Barger’s STRETCH Prophesying Revisionist Technology predicts massive flooding in the North East  due to Obama’s non-Zionist stance:

Topic Two: Brannon believes America may very well see a serious crisis this week such as flooding in the North East for Obama’s treatment of Israel in the past few days and particularly for his treatment of Israel’s Prime Minister Binyamin Netanyahu. Why does Brannon say this?

We Know that all True Christians are Pro-Zionist and Premillenial Dispensationalist Rapture believers as our own Saint John MacArthur plainly teaches:

Premillennialism as being the only consistent position for any person who holds to the doctrine of sovereign electing grace. He even went so far as to say that the Amillennial position is more consistent with Arminianism than it is with Calvinism.

We also Know that the modern day United Nations created state of Israel is the same as Ancient Biblical Israel and if you don’t approve of all of the actions of 1948 created Israel then God will smite you just as He did with the enemies of the Israelites. We also Know that the Ancient Israelites are one  and the same with Modern Day Israelis including Christian and Muslim Israelis so remember America should always support Israeli backed terrorism against  Palestinians or God will smite America with more tornados and floods for His Absolute Sovereign Vengeful Hate-filled Loving Wrathful Gory Glory.

P. S. If you doubt our words we have something extra for you just in case to make sure our warnings sink in:

Item #3

Worldview Matters with Brannon Howse
You Doubt Item #2? Then listen to this best of flashback from July 2009? Brannon’s guest is John McTeran who wrote the book, As America Has Done to Israel. John details the direct connection between the alarming number of massive disasters striking America after her leaders pressuring Israel to surrender her land for”peace”. Costing hundreds of lives and causing hundreds of billions of dollars’ worth of damage, dozens of disasters, including devastating earthquakes, raging fires, hurricanes, floods, tsunamis, and tornadoes, have hit America-and always within twenty-four hours of putting pressure on Israel. John also shows the connection between America turning on Israel and our current financial crisis.


Now a word from our sponsor, Rush Limbaugh!

January 22, 2010

 

First Rush Limbaugh brought us Oxycotin!

Now Rush Limbaugh brings you Super Viagra!

Now back to our regular scheduled programing!


De-Mentos….helping us to play down Jesus’ teachings!

November 27, 2009

De-Mentos is the new mint to prevent you keeping your bible hermeneutics from overwhelming your political, ideological, or imperialistic allegiances. Discernmentalists must always keep our Christo-fascist theology, Religious Right, and conservo-centric traditionalisms well tuned against liberals, emergents, accommodating conservatives and NT Wright.

Are you fighting an uphill battle with those kinds of Christians?????…you know the RED LETTER types that emphasize Jesus’ words? These are the types with anti-biblical values like peace mongering, anti-war, anti-torture and care for the poor. We all know that Jesus was pro-torture….or at least ambivalent about it. People like this are secret communists.

Perhaps you have run into the extremist that once said a nice word about a Muslim, or Rick Warren. Of course we know this to be “Christianity lite” and “liberalism.” We know for sure that Jesus really didn’t mean love your enemies or do good to those that persecute us. What he really meant was wait for the enemy to love you first.  Also, be weary of immigrants because they are ruining the country.

Remember these words from Sermon on the Mint “Blessed not are those who mourn, for they shall not be comforted. Comfort and feeling good about ourselves is from the devil, sissies, weak pansies and liberals.  Blessed are the proud and arrogant, for they shall conquer and triumph over all of the earth.”

This is why De-Mentos is the mint of choice. It will soothe the mind, ease the conscience and relieves us of any critical thinking….or worse emphasizing the words of Jesus that might make us uncomfortable. Remember, we don’t spin Jesus’ words THEY do!!!

Leave it to the ODMafia, and Dr. Truthslayer to make the right choice for you today – De-Mentos. The mint of choice for discernmentalists.

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De-Mintos is a subsidiary of Sermon on the Mint Corporations and Conglomerations Ltd.


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