Clearly Emergents, Roman Catholics, Arminians, the Eastern Orthodox, Liberals, Democrats, Socialists, (Ana)Baptists, Lutherans, Communists, Red-Letter Christians, Marxists, Evolutionists, Darwinians, Mainline Christians, Liberal Presbyterians, Infralapsarians, Bezan Calvinists, Prosperity teachers, Moderate Calvinists, Liberal Protestants, Calminians, Pentecostal tongue-babblers, Almyridians, anyone who is not King James Only, Textus Receptus Only, or ESV Only, Seeker-Sensitives, New Agers, Ragamuffins, “Gay” Christians, Open Theists, Barthians, anyone who has read The Shack and/or The Message Bible, Velvet Elvis people who are Blue Like Jazz, Purpose-Driven people and anyone who doesn’t Absolutely agree with John MacArthur and Wretched Radio without exception and therefore unlike Ken Silva lack a backbone have been given “fake grace.” As the Biblical Jesus makes clear: “all those not for us are against us” and these heretics are most definitely against us—for although they may profess to know Jesus as Lord and act Christianly, they don’t know the True Jesus of the Bible: the Angry Sovereign Wrathful Jesus of Discernmentalism. And He doesn’t know them either: “And then will I declare to them, ‘I never knew you; depart from me, you workers of lawlessness.’“
False Converts most certainly have a false sense of security since they are “spiritually blind and dead in their trespasses” especially those who have “asked Jesus into their hearts” and/or have recited a “Sinner’s Prayer” or believe “Baptism saves” …I mean it’s not like any of the Reformers ever taught any of those things. Assurance and Eternal Security of the Elect is about the Penal Substitutionary Atonement for the Elect only and nothing we do.
The Social Gospel is an abomination as it makes a mockery out of our Holy Absolute Sovereign God of Wrath and Terror. Not only that but the Social Gospel doesn’t even contain anything related to the American Gospel (such as Free-Market Capitalism and Reaganomics). The false Gospel of the Social Gospel is a gateway to Marxism and Communism because it promotes Socialism and unbiblical Socialistic themes such as social justice, sharing, fairness, caring, helping those in need, taking care of the poor, widows and orphans, etc.—which is Absolutely Evil. This is exactly why we must come against this abomination of our True Gospel.
Socialized religious police forces. We admit it— we Discernmentalists are always under attack by all those who hate our Truth, Pure Doctrines and American way of life. What better way to protect ourselves than to institute government controlled police forces to police the state by keeping sinful criminals under wraps. Besides if we didn’t have police forces to protect us from criminals, we’d have more sinners and sickos like murderers, thieves and rapists running around further corrupting our God-ordained American society and way of life. Of course, we’ve yet to have a Purely religious police force, but hopefully we will see that happen one day—hopefully in our lifetime—so we can recriminalize atheism, sodomy and make all abortion (even for sound medical reasons) illegal. We’d just love to throw every living God-hater, butt-trumpet playing queer and baby-murderer in jail for life—but even lifelong prison time is too good for these sick limp-wristed morally-depraved Godless reprobates. I move that we personally vote for the death penalty against them so we can return America back to the True Origin’s of it’s Godly Christian/Biblical Worldview roots.
Socialized fire departments. Why we need protection from God’s Wrath just in case His aim misses one of the morally degenerate reprobates. What better way to protect ourselves than government regulated fire-fighting forces. We also believe that the Gospel is merely “fire insurance” for the Elect and the Elect only.
Created especially for our fellow Truth Warriors in this war against for Truth—and especially for Phil Johnson who only wishes he could create posters half as good as we can come up with on any given day. Click here for more if you dare. Come on we double dog dare you that is unless you are truly one of our enemies who denies there is such thing as Absolute Truth which of course we mere errant mortal humans get to define the Bible defines. On second thought nevermind even if you are one of our many enemies, ye should click just to be smited with our Truth and see us point and laugh at how you are the ignorant ones for denying our Discernmentalist values.
* Feel free to link or don’t link back to them on your site but just remember We Know who you are and We Know what you are doing as we can see, hear, smell, taste and feel all through are Bible-Based Osmosis.
** These Truth War Motivators are subject to be added to or subtracted from our library at any time.
In a new sunday night line-up Truth War TV introduces Chief Wiggum as a serious cop sniffing out heresy calls via an emergency heresy hunting 9-11 hot line; Discernmentalist 9-11 (Investigative Unit).
Each week our faithful cop and other cartoon like figures will follow-up on spin with regards to Christians who have been accused of being…
A) Democrats (or rumoured to have said something nice about Obama)
B) Peacemakers
C) Distraught by some forms of capitalism
E) Interested in universal heathcare
F) A friend of gays
G) A reader of NT Wright, John H Armstrong, Gregory Boyd, Rob Bell or Brian McLaren
H) Ecumenical (which we know is anything but biblical even if Jesus is central)
I) For social justice
Each week Wiggum will take down the apostates and allow voters to decide who is in…and who is out! Guilt by association, slander….whatever it takes to keep the right people in and the evil heretics out. Remember, Revenge NOT Reconciliation!!!
We are proud to present to you a moment from Discernmentalist Revised History uncut and uncensored: This is a tale about the Original Tea Partiers 4 Jesus and how they revolted against the Big Bad Government and the Big Name who stood against them and opposed them. The cast of characters include: a bunch of peasants (the Original Tea Partiers 4 Jesus), the Holy Roman Emperor (Big Brother) and the Big Name who stood with Big Brother against the Original Tea Partiers 4 Jesus—that Big Name of course is Martin Luther (evil Neo-Marxist Red-Letter Christian prototype).
At first Martin Luther (our anti-hero and anti-Reagan of this story) agreed that the Peasants (Tea Partiers 4 Jesus) deserved a break from their taxes especially those who were extremely wealthy by Medieval standards (meaning they privately owned at least one cow)—so all the Peasants (Tea Partiers 4 Jesus) drew up a plan to lobby for tax cuts for the richest and most wealthiest among them. I mean why should they have to share their privately owned cattle or any other privately owned property with the government that only protects them and makes them secure. Why should they have to share with anyone for that matter as sharing is Communism and as we all know:
The Bible mandates free market capitalism. It is anti-socialist. When Christianity adheres to the judicial specifics of the Bible, it produces free market capitalism.
On the other hand, when Christianity rejects the judicial specifics of the Bible, it produces socialism or some politically run hybrid “middle way” between capitalism and socialism, where politicians and bureaucrats make the big decisions about how people’s wealth will be allocated. Economic growth then slows or is reversed. Always.
To be continued in the next exciting part of our installments of Discernmentalist Revised History—stay tuned for the conclusion of our tale in Martin Luther Backs Socialists: Chapter The Second…
This is a great hymn which teaches the Pure Truth War Gospel of God’s Absolute Sovereign Wrath towards the 99% of humanity He chose not to limit His atonement for. And remember: “Stop prayin,’ stop prayin,’ God will not hear you anymore” as if God ever listened to all of you unrepentant unregenerate reprobated sinners to begin with. God hears not the prayers of the reprobate, for God hates you so much that He chose to destroy and eternally burn you in hell before you were ever born— but if you are like us Predestined and of the Regenerate Elect and therefore able to repent, you may repent if you wish—but repentance is unecessary and not required of the Elect, for we are already “Once Saved Always Saved” no matter what.
We support Tin-Foil Hat Theology in all of it’s glory. Forget the Purpose-Driven heretical drivel of Rick Warren—we support the Conspiracy-Driven Church. Remember Truth is under attack by our enemies—-some of whom have even crept up into our churches uninvited by secret cloaking Truth-bending tactics. These Spiritual Terrorists are otherwise known as the Emergent Church and/or Red-Letter Christians.
They have sneaked inside of our churches in order to bend the Truth to their evil overlord Brian McLaren’s ungodly and unbiblical libertarian free-will. Rather than serving the Pure and Absolute Sovereign God of Wrath, whose Absolute Glory is man’s chief end—they’d rather serve their sinful, prideful and selfish ways and therefore they bow down to Satan, the Master of all Untruth, which makes materialism, selfishness and human pride and sin man’s chief end.
Remember also that God’s Sovereign Truth is so precious and fragile that it needs protecting by mere mortals using any means necessary including slander, libel, lies and other worldly weapons (this is the Truth War afterall)—this is where conspiracy theories come in handy and why Tin-Foil Hat Theology is a Discernmentalist’s best friend. The nuttier the conspiracy theory the better to help defend and protect the Absolute Truth. Here are some of our personal favorite conspiracies that Brannon Howse has uncovered and taught us over the years :
- non-Zionists, Emergents, socialists, globalists, Muslims, communists, atheists, heathens, Red-Letter Christians, Marxists and secular Jews are all attempting to take over the world.
- International bankers are trying to take over the world.
- The Illuminati, or other clandestine groups, are attempting to take over the world.
- NASA and the government are covering over the truth about UFOs.
- NASA and the government are covering over the truth about cities on Mars and the moon.
- NASA and the government are covering over the truth that the Apollo missions were hoaxes.
- The government is covering over the assassination or assassination attempts on high-profile government officials like JFK or Ron Brown or the attempt on Final President Reagan.
- Muslims are responsible for all acts of terrorism around the world.
- Obama is a Secular-Humanist Muslim atheist and the Anti-Christ bent on destroying America through Communistic Socialism and helping our enemies take over the world.
- the government is covering over their involvement in orchestrating the events of September 11th, 2001, with remote control planes, cruise missiles, and controlled demolitions with Muslims’ and liberals’ help.(Source: New World Order Weekend).
The noted and award-winning Discernmentalist Tin-Foil Hat Theologian Ken Silva wants our students to know that: “Conspiracies are just too difficult to keep secret even when there are only one or two people keeping the secret.”… so help us to expose all to the secret conspiracies of our enemies who are all out there trying to destroy the Truth and the church…And as always, spread the fear and hate!
You are currently browsing the archives for the marketing using fear category.
Dude! This is a satire site!
Before you get all bent out of shape, please realize this is a satire site spoofing the so-called "discernment ministries" who deem themselves more worthy of Grace than the rest of us. So read and have fun! BTW, we are not against "good" discernment ministries that do actual real research and extend grace to others, only the bad ones.