Brian McLaren reveals: A new kind of Christian

March 30, 2010

 

Brian McLaren best known for his image on the popular heretic trading cards found in Calvin Crunch Cereal, revealed what A New Kind of Christian will look like when his New Kind of Christianity will be implemented across the globe. The audience gasped in horror as Brian McLaren (Also known for a couple of books he has written) showed pictures of the first of the New Kind of Christians that have been spotted on the New Frontier. This new “Christian” is called the Ankoc, which we know that if translated into Hebrew, then Greek, then Latin, then back into English, then adding a m and an l we get Mollok. Mollok is close to Molech that is also close to Rupert Murdoch who sells porn as well as Rick Warren books. As you can see this is much more complicated that it needs be. If you just take our word for it, you will be safe to know that we know and we are saying is all of Satan somehow.  We must also be aware that Brian McLaren is using OUR OWN TECHNIQUES of linking to ourselves! Ken Silva who is the master at incestuous self linking who realized that by doing so raises your Google rating and gives the appearance of high volume readership, seems to have taught Brian McLaren this technique! Of course Ken Silva is master enough to call Brian out for using Ken’s original idea.


Obama Is The Anti-Christ And Hates America

October 29, 2009

hitler

Recently  our resident Redneck GOIPers discovered shocking evidence that proves once and for all without a shadow of a doubt that Obama is the political anti-Christ. We’ve known all along that he hates America, our Rite to theocracy and Our God-ordained Holy Republican American Reich so this is no surprise. Also Obama wants to hand America over to Canada a nation run by satanists that is his evil plan in destroying our God-ordained and God Chosen Nation. Here is what “RR” has to say:

I admire Glen Beck with every fiber of my being for going on national television and calling the president a racist with a deep seated hatred toward white people. Beck is so right, but the only problem is that he doesn’t go far enough. Obama hates Americans, and the country we live in. Hate is too soft a word. Obama loathes each and every citizen with a hate that few people can comprehend. The man is full of hate.

There have been blogs that compare Obama to Hitler, but that is going easy on Hitler. Hitler at least was doing what he felt, however misguided, was in the best interest of the German people. Obama is doing the opposite. He wishes only harm and misery on the American people. That is his goal, and we are seeing his hateful scheme unfold before our very eyes.

Obama’s plan is to create a humongous socialist government. Each and every American will become wholly independent on Obama’s Big Brother, Orwellian government. Only Obama will decide who will be happy and sad. Only Obama will determine who will be successful and who will fail. All the power will go into his hands. Of course, one element of this evil plan is universal health care. Like Sarah Palin said, there will be death panels that determine who will live and who will die. And die we will. Mainly white people. Same as the Jews during Hitler’s regime, but instead of gas chambers, Obama will use universal health care.

When one thinks of the most evil people in the history of the world, Obama tops them all. On 9/11/2001, Osama Bin Laden killed brazenly 3000 innocent Americans. Obama wants to kill a lot more than 3000.

 

I and Ken Silva agree that it is offensive to Hitler to compare Obama to him as Hitler is our Führer Ron Luce’s hero. Ingrid “Eva Braun” Schlueter also adds that we must Take America back by force in order to establish our theocratic dominion.

Don Jobson—p.s. after stealing enough money from the poor and hiring Legal immigrant computer techs to help with my Mexican and Canadian slaves —we’ve finally “officialized”  The Official Blog Of God’s Only Inerrant Party.


Our Goal For A Post-Emergent Church

October 15, 2009

The Post-Emergent Church

The Post-Emergent Church Of The Future—For old people that never grow out of their youth. A non-seeker-sensitive approach to church: How to lose friends and alienate people. The Post-Emergent Church will return us back to fundamentalism while still remaining relevant. Praise Hymn Rock Songs Include:

  • In Awe Of Thy 600+ Commandments, Praise Jesus 25x Chorus, Jesus Is Coming Now Grab Your Guns, We’re Old But We’re Still Young In Church, A Mighty Fortress Is Our Bible, I Saw Jesus Shoot A Heretic But He Did Not Shoot The Deputy, We Hold The Absolute Truth And So Can You, We’ll Annoy You With One More Praise Chorus, We Wish You A Servetus Barbecue, O I Hope My Shoe Is Holey Enough For The Rapture and Raise A Banner Of War On The Non-Elect

Confession of Faith: Legalism is Lord. Church services will include inquisitions on non-believers followed by forced baptisms. Afterwards, we’ll have a pot luck lunch. Everyone wins—souls that is! Rainbow wigs available after your first forced communion.

 

rollenstewart2


TRUTH TEST! 82 Questions that Reveal Whether You Think Like A Liberal or a Modern-Day Liberal

April 3, 2009

Here are some things to think about before reading this book!! A must read!
1. You may be a liberal if you do not listen to Bill O’Reilly, Sean Hannity and Rush Limbaugh
2. You may be a liberal if you ask difficult questions
3. You may be a liberal if you believe in socialized medicine as opposed to paying through your nose for health care
4. You may be a liberal if you assent to any part of evolution
5. You may be a liberal if you do not support US foreign policy that justifies invasions of foreign countries based on fabrications.
6. You may be a liberal if you love your enemies
7. You may be a liberal if you read the epistle of James
8. You may be a liberal if you actually believe the beatitudes or sermon on the mount
9. You may be a liberal if you think that the Bible has more authority than your favourite doctrines.

If you have answered yes to one of these you are in danger of losing your salvation (if Arminian). If you are a Calvinist you are obviously NOT saved. Read this book now and save your soul! Act now and get a free butterknife with every order.


Madonna seeks to adopt stray Online Discernmentalist Ministry

March 29, 2009

 

LILONGWE (Reuters) – Madonna’s bid to adopt an obscure Online Discernmentalist Ministry, known as Appraising Ministries (not to be construed with the more famous and hard hitting Apprising Ministries) will be examined by a court in the southern African country next week, officials said on Friday.

Madonna, who was divorced last year from British film director Guy Ritchie, is one of the most successful singers of all time, with album sales of more than 200 million.


Christianity Today Found Fraudulent

February 19, 2009

 

 

 

 

 

Using the latest in Discernmentalist Technologies Christianity Today has been found fraudulent. SoL noted “We have made a huge break through on this obviously immoral and non-biblical magazine.”* SoL further commented and what exactly was exposed, “Christianity Today misleads the public with the word ‘TODAY.‘ They don’t actually create the magazine during the day of publication….it takes weeks, some article even months….frankly this is entirely misleading and I think Christians should reject this type of yellow journalism.”*

 

The Online Discernmentalist Mafia rejects discounts and laments any misleading yellow journalism. In fact, like SoL, we only MISLEAD if we think we have a better edge on the truth than anybody else! Thanks to SoL special discernmental abilities and warnings we will stay clear of that trashy magazine. Good riddance Christianity Today!

PS We beg all readers to read only the Online Discernmentalist Mafia for bible based absolute truth. Read us now, believe us later.

 

*Though no one at SoL actually stated these words we here at ODMafia know that they would have if they had thought of them first.

 

 

 

 


Proof of Obama’s Lascivious lifestyle!

January 21, 2009

I was shocked when I saw this video! Obama is DANCING! and we know that is a sin… not only is he dancing; he is dancing with OTHER WOMEN! and shaking his fanny to ungodly music. Shame has truly come over this once Godly Nation…


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