The Discernmentalist War On Christ-Mass!

NEW CANEY, Texas — Dry, brown grass crunches underfoot as David Barfield walks through his 45-acre Christmas tree farm pointing at evergreens covered with brittle, rust-colored needles.
“Dead tree, dead tree, dead tree,” he says, shaking his head at dry timber he hoped would be chopped down by parents with excited children. Boo freaking who!… God hates that evil Satanic pagan man-glorifying semi-Pelagian Roman-Arminian self-exalting unbiblical Holy Day Christ-Mass anyways. We know so. Glory be to our Angry God for pouring out His Sovereign Wrath through a drought against the hordes of Satanic Babylonian Pagan X-mas trees.

“I would to God that every holy day (including Christmas – ed.) whatsoever besides the Lord’s day were abolished. That zeal which brought them first in, was without all warrant of the Word, and merely followed corrupt reason, forsooth to drive out the holy days of the pagans, as one nail drives out another. Those holy days have been so tainted with superstitions that I wonder we tremble not at their very names.” – Martin Bucer, cited in William Ames, A Fresh Suit Against Human Ceremonies in God’s Worship (1633), pp. 359-60.

“And next in particular, concerning festival days findeth that in the explication of the first head of the first book of discipline it was thought good that the feasts of Christmas, Circumcision, Epiphany, with the feasts of the Apostles, Martyrs, and Virgin Mary be utterly abolished because they are neither commanded nor warranted by Scripture and that such as observe them be punished by Civil Magistrates. Here utter abolition is craved and not reformation of abuses only and that because the observation of such feasts have no warrant from the word of God.” – The Acts of the General Assemblies of the Church of Scotland, December 10, Session 17, 1638, pp. 37-38

Remember also these immortal words from Sharon M. Whitley: “Btw, if you want to see a large, lavish Christmas display in a mall… go to Dubai in the UAE! Many countries that are not Christian celebrate this holiday. That right there should tell Christians it’s not of God!”

P. S. Please don’t forget to celebrate the Holy Discernmentalist Holidays of Thanksgiving and Calvin’s Birthday in your churches and everywhere because these are not man-exalting semi-Pelagian Pagan Romanist made-up Holy Days invented by humans but Absolute Truth Biblical holidays commanded by God to be observed in the inerrant infallible Holy Discernmentalist Bible.

Martin Luther On Alcohol

Accordingly if the devil should say, ‘Do not drink,’ you should reply to him, ‘On this very account, because you forbid it, I shall drink, and what is more, I shall drink a generous amount. Thus one must always do the opposite of that which Satan prohibits. What do you think is my reason for drinking wine undiluted, talking freely, and eating more often, if it is not to torment and vex the devil who made up his mind to torment and vex me.

~ Martin Luther

What an evil man! Clearly this proves that those closet Papists (Reformed In Name Only)—Lutherans are grace-hating man-loving carnal-minded semi-Pelagian reprobates. May God damn all those man-worshipping God-hating Lutherans or any RINO (Reformed In Name Only) Calvinist who quotes from that Satanist Martin Luther.

More proof that Martin Luther is an evil denier of the Gospel of Grace: he brewed his own beer in a place of worship at that—Pure Blasphemous Heresy. Clearly Luther was just trying to be “hip and cool” and “appeal to carnal pagan culture!”

Thankfully we like John MacArthur (P. B. U. H.) take a stand for the Pure Doctrines of the Gospel of Grace and believe that drinking even one drop of alcohol is a sin or even using an alcohol-based mouthwash.

Porn-Surfer!

            (The Whore Of Babylon rides a red surfboard)

We used Eric Barger’s new R. I. C. K. S. H. A. W. (Reconnaissance Inquiry Computing Konspiracies Seeking Heretics’ Apostasy [TRUTH] Warhead) in order to write this movie review:

Porn-Surfer is the newest popular “feel good” secular film with the sole motivational purpose of promoting lust. Porn-Surfer tells the story of  an immodestly bikini clad preteen surfer who still surfs and dresses immodestly even after God punishes her with His Absolute Sovereign Wrath by sending a shark to bite off one of her arms. To further add to the sinful rebellion of the main character—”Even though Bethany is only 13 years old, we see no repercussions for her prideful rebellion against her parents; instead, everyone heads out the door with a cheerful kiss and goodbye. There is no discussion of danger, no talk of deception, no rebuke, and no consequence.“

Talk about humanistic arrogance and pride! Porn-Surfer not only seems to be all about lust but also promotes a man-centered; God-hating;  ear-tickling; grace-hating man-loving  Semi-Pelagian Arminianist worldview. (And we all know where the heresy of Arminianism came from as it was the false gospel of Satan from the Garden as Arminianism is the root of all evil—not only that Arminianism leads back to it’s equally heretical forerunner: Romanism and Popery)! An example of the Arminianist bent of this movie is how Bethany’s “passion for surfing” supercedes her need for a Savior such as how she always fulfills the selfish desires of her sinful flesh first before even giving a thought to pleasing her Absolute Sovereign Savior.

Another example of the ear-tickling man-pleasing ways of the Bethany character: “…(her) arriving late for a seaside church service, Bethany throws a cover-up over her wet bikini, and takes a seat. As family and friends finish singing “Blessed Be Your Name,” Bethany continues to gaze out over the ocean, seeming to long for the waves. One of the first questions she asks her father after the accident is, “When can I surf again?” Pure man-centered-ness at it’s worse! Not only is this Pure Arminian babble but also filled with Purpose-Driven heresy which is a total mischaracterization of the Gospel for as John MacArthur (P. B. U. H.) always says: “this life should always be purposeless and that’s the Absolute Gospel Truth.”

Our Research Robot Monkeys also noted of this smutty film: “The immodesty throughout the film is significant, as nearly the entire movie takes place on the beach where most of the women wear skimpy swimwear and the men go shirtless. The surfing scenes are particularly problematic as bikini-clad surfers are filmed curving around the waves from various compromising angles. Though there are no “sex scenes,” the nearly constant display of beautiful, tan, near-naked young Hollywood actresses still make sex an issue. If a man would find it difficult not to lust sitting at a crowded beach watching beautiful women in bikinis walk by, then he will probably have a hard time with this movie. Pornography is a real issue and men who are struggling with this sin know the importance of avoiding giving provision to the flesh.

But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh, to fulfill its lusts. (Romans 13:14)

It is important to recognize that we live in a sex-saturated culture. Many men, Christian men, struggle daily with internet pornography.”

In conclusion, this is the typical Emerging film for Emergent and YRR type sinners who seek new lows in order to  justify their wicked depravity and God-hating rebellion. This movie is nothing more than sinful pornographic Arminian Papist filth. It is a shame that this film was marketed as a Christian-themed film because of how ungodly it is—there is no redeeming factor whatsoever about this trash as “there was no Gospel (the Glorious Doctrines of Dort) or (even a) redemptive message (for that matter) in the movie. For the record, I don’t think a movie has to be produced (solely) by Christians, or be (totally) about Christians, to glorify God. At the same time, I think it can be produced by Christians, even be (all) about (only) Christians, and still fail to glorify God.”

Inside The Mind Of A Discernmentalist

Now for the first time ever ODMafia exclusively reveals to you a first-hand inside look into the operating brains of Discernmentalists‘ ministries:

Attacks On John MacArthur’s Pure Gospel of a Premillennial Dispensationalist Rapture

Phil Johnson has attacked his overlord John MacArthur by attacking fellow Rapture believer Harold Camping. Wretched Radio have also attacked their Final Prophet and ours (P. B. U. H.) by using a clip of Master Debator Rockstar James White calling Harold Camping a Cult Leader. Ken Silva even mocks John MacArthur by stating that: “If Jesus Didn’t Know The Day Or Hour, Be Sure Harold Camping (and by association John MacArthur) Certainly Doesn’t Know“—how dare Ken declare a threat against the Ways of the Master himself…of course, John MacArthur knows as he knows all Absolute Biblical Truth! Even Al Mohler one of  MacArthur’s biggest supporters has come down hard against MacArthur’s fellow Rapture believer by naming Harold Camping a False Prophet.

7th Sola agrees and has stated: “Jesus is coming again. I personally believe the time is soon. But when He does return, it won’t be by Harold Camping’s timetable or anyone else’s. That date and time has been determined by God alone.” We are just shocked that anyone would dare slander MacArthur’s infallible Rapture Truth like that—if MacArthur bids Jesus to imminently return to spread His Venegance and Wrath—Jesus will return soon. Puritan Board has even gone so far as to declare:

Setting-aside all our differences – at least MacArthur is truly defending the Gospel! Warren has a decidedly enthusiastic bent on dismantling the very locus where the Gospel is to be dispensed from: the church. (HaroldCamping has nothing on Warren.) All the Modern Reformation boys are long over-due in speaking out against Warren specifically. One wonders why….John MacArthur may be dispie but at least he defends the gospel. Last time I checked Macarthur wasnt a VanImpe or tele-evangelist trying to make a busk on tv. If youve seen him on tv he is far more respectable and Christian then the other softies.—Blade

Robin, You need to be very careful here and provide specifics. HaroldCamping has made very specific heretical statements that have been very specifically repudiated by teachers in Christ’s Church. While I have no hunger for Warren’s materials, he is no where near in the league of arch-heretics Camping and Wimber (both of whom have claimed “prophetic” status in pushing their new doctrine). I know it is good sport here to bash Warren, but I won’t have either Warren or MacArthur compared to such heretics without specific citations from the man to that effect.

We would expect this kind of nonsense from Grace-hating Man-loving Pelagian and Emergent heretics but not from our Purely Reformed Calvinist Christians who should all be disciples of John MacArthur (P. B. U. H.) and His Absolute Biblical Truth and the Truth War… for to go against John MacArthur (P. B. U. H.) is blasphemy… Sheer Blasphemy! not to mention to go against our very Lord God and Savior: Jesus Himself.

Feeding Sheep or Entertaining Goats at Church Nurseries?

Mainstream evangelicalism is literally in the toilet or is that diaper pails to be more correct. Anyways recently our Research Robot Monkeys came upon some startling information concerning several Mainstream American Churches. This Revelation is so shocking… so blasphemous… We can only conclude it must be an abomination to God. Here is this abominable revelation in all of it’s worldly filth: several churches our Research Robot Monkeys have visited have decorated their nurseries with various children’s themes and are filled with worldly toys in an attempt to attract kids to Jesus. (Photo of one of these horrible Seeker-Sensitive Emergent Purpose-Driven nurseries included above).

How disgusted we are at this Seeker-Driven nonsense! Quote from one of these horrible false churches defending their foolishness: “Our nursery (decorated in a child-friendly motif) gives Pre-School members a reason to invite their friends to church. That is what Christ’s Family Church is all about; reaching those toddlers and others who have become disenchanted with religion but are searching for a relationship with Jesus Christ.”

So… somehow, a flashy nursery is supposed to save sinful souls. Even one local newspaper for toddlers wrote an article titled, “Come for the Nursery, Stay for the Service.” We have moved from John the Baptist proclaiming truth in the wilderness, to using a hormone-induced and child-friendly designed nursery to lure kids to a building. While there is nothing wrong with a nifty and fun nursery, there is plenty wrong with using it to attract people to Jesus. We implore kids to come to the Savior, not come for the nursery. We promote Jesus, not the amenities. Church is for Christians, not curiosity seekers. We win them to the Lord, not by being hip. Evangelism is to be done by church members and nursery-workers, not the nursery itself.

As Spurgeon once said:

An evil is in the professed camp of the Lord, so gross in its impudence, that the most shortsighted Christian can hardly fail to notice it. During the past few years this evil has developed at an alarming rate. It has worked like leaven until the whole lump ferments! The devil has seldom done a more clever thing, than hinting to the Church that part of their mission is to provide entertainment for the people, with a view to winning them. From speaking out the gospel, the Church has gradually toned down her testimony, then winked at and excused the frivolities of the day. Then she tolerated them in her borders. Now she has adopted them under the plea of reaching the masses! My first contention is that providing amusement for the people is nowhere spoken of in the Scriptures as a function of the Church. If it is a Christian work why did not Christ speak of it? “Go into all the world and preach the gospel to every creature, and provide amusement for those who do not relish the gospel.” No such words, however, are to be found. Again, providing amusement is in direct antagonism to the teaching and life of Christ and all His apostles. What was the attitude of the apostolic Church to the world? “You are the salt of the world,” not the sugar candy; something the world will spit out, not swallow. Had Jesus introduced more of the bright and pleasant elements into His teaching, He would have been more popular. When “many of His disciples turned back and no longer followed Him,” I do not hear Him say, “Run after these people, Peter, and tell them we will have a different style of service tomorrow; something short and attractive with little preaching. We will have a pleasant evening for the people. Tell them they will be sure to enjoy it! Be quick, Peter, we must get the people somehow!” No! Jesus pitied sinners, sighed and wept over them, but never sought to amuse them! In vain will the epistles be searched to find any trace of the “gospel of amusement.” Anything approaching amusement is conspicuous by its absence. They had boundless confidence in the gospel and employed no other weapon. Lastly, amusement fails to effect the end desired. Let the heavy laden who found peace through the concert not keep silent! Let the drunkard to whom the dramatic entertainment had been God’s link in the chain of their conversion, stand up! There are none to answer! The mission of amusement produces no converts! The need of the hour for today’s ministry is earnest spirituality joined with Biblical doctrine, so understood and felt, that it sets men on fire.

From all of those churches that have Emergent Seeker-Driven nurseries we can conclude that:

• 1. Many Evangelicals no longer believe that Scripture is sufficient. They need tools to enhance the Gospel to get regular attenders.
• 2. They clearly have no idea what the Gospel is.

Brannon Howse uses a page out of Alinsky’s Handbook: People’s Cube in revolt!

Last year, around the time that Glenn Beck was organizing his “Restoring Honor” rally on the National Mall, concern started bubbling up from the Religious Right fringes about Beck’s Mormon faith, especially from people like Brannon Howse, president and founder of Worldview Weekend, who started using his radio program to attack Mormonism as “America’s Islam” and warn that Beck was spreading “anti-Biblical beliefs.”

Saul Alinsky People’s Cube’s sworn enemy couldn’t have done this any better as here are Brannon Howse’s personal rules to live by:

1. Always remember the first rule of power tactics: Power is not only what you have but what the enemy thinks you have.
2. Second: Never go outside the experience of your people. Wherever possible go outside of the experience of the enemy.
3. 3rd: Here you want to cause confusion, fear, and retreat.
4. The fourth rule carries within it the fifth rule: Ridicule is man’s most potent weapon.
5. Finally, Pick the target, freeze it, personalize it, and polarize it.

We wonder if People’s Cube will add any of Brannon Howse’s books to their book-burning list. Repent before it’s too late—The End is Nigh!

Chad Holtz And Mike Morrell’s Emergent Village Possibly Found

Our Research Robot Monkeys recently infiltrated an Emergent Cohort compound and discovered horrible abominations such as couches and candles. In this candle-lit ashram there were a bunch of scantily-clad men and women participating in the usual routine Emergent rituals of nude centering prayer (with much icons, incense, chanting, and apophatic silence). There was a lot of stretching going on and not in a good way. Our Research Robot Monkeys were horrified at all they saw and we are too. All we can say is Beware… Beware the Emergent Hordes and their Seeker-Sensitive Purpose-Driven lives!

Video of a typical Emergent Village pow-wow:

Attention Truth Warriors

It’s the most Satanic time of the year. Help us out by supporting our Truth War on German Lutherans. You can continue pledging your total allegiance to us by doing this, continuing your committed support of Bush’s illegal invasion of  the Iraq war and outlawing Christmas as one of our most hallowed Discernmentalists has noted: “ Btw, if you want to see a large, lavish Christmas display in a mall… go to Dubai in the UAE! Many countries that are not Christian celebrate this holiday. That right there should tell Christians it’s not of God!”

And you wouldn’t want to do anything that non-Christians let alone non-Americans do. Why if you celebrate Christmas you are supporting terrorism and the terrorists. Most of all how dare anyone have fun or take pleasure and joy in anything….for fun, pleasure and joy are a sin and you know how much our God of Absolute Sovereign Wrath and commendable hatred hates sin and sinners.

 

So this December pray that the war on Iraq continues and that more people would open their eyes and make war on Christmas. This message is brought to you by your friendly neighborhood GOIP Committee of Concerned Citizens in conjunction with Killjoy Puritan Calvinazi Church. 

 

Black-n-White-o-poly!!!

Introducing the all new  

the fun new Bible-based game for Discernmentalist families to practice their pretzel-logic skills.

A sample logic puzzle from our game:

According to the Bible, God not only knows the future, (God is omniscient) but He has unchangeably ordained everything from the beginning, and He infallibly brings to pass all things according to His perfect plan. Also according to the Bible, Jesus is God but Jesus does not know the future nor the hour of the end of the world. Giving these facts Jesus is either:

a) a liar; not who the Bible says He is;

b)  God does not know (all of) the future, He takes risks, learns lessons, makes mistakes and changes His mind (Open Theism);

c) of course, Jesus is God—THE BIBLE is Inerrantly clear!;

or d) a black & white answer that doesn’t satisfactorily answer this question.

The answer of course is d. Thank you for playing Black-n-White-o-poly!!!