Elvis Furtick Worship!

October 20, 2011

It grieves me that Todd Friel (Wretched) has caught yet another symptom of those heretical Postmodern Emergents: Pastor Worship. [Praise John MacArthur (P. B. U. H.)!] I mean just look at these idiots [Glory be to Spurgeon (the Prince of Preachers)!] here:

Thankfully you will never catch us worshiping men [Thanks be to John MacArthur (P. B. U. H.)!] instead of Christ. I mean just look at any of our Discernmentalist websites with all of their glorious missiveness [May Spurgeon (the Prince of Preachers) be pleased!]. Remember these words from Phil Johnson (Hugh Jass) on Spurgeon (the Prince of Preachers): “Today Spurgeon is widely beloved — not only Baptists, but even a man like Thielike! — and yet during his day that was not true. Almost everyone today wants to claim Spurgeon — they think of him as a big theological teddybar and theological neutral and devotional in his preaching.

And also these words from Todd Friel (Wretched) on John MacArthur (P. B. U. H.): “Yes, there are godly, Christ-centered pastors who have very large churches, but they are definitely exceptions to the rule. A few that come to mind are Dr. John MacArthur, RC Sproul, and John Piper. Unfortunately, the average “evangelical” no longer wants solid teaching, so the men who are standing firmly on Scripture are leading small flocks.” Thankfully you have ministries like ours and Todd Friel’s to “expose the truth behind this contemporary, emergent, tolerance, new age, relevance movement going on today.” And to show you “the similarities in the worship of men rather then Christ. How some Church Pastors are being worshiped, just like pop icons are worshiped.”


A Very Special Message For Japan!

October 7, 2011

An open letter to the Emperor of Japan from one of our long-time supporters:

AN OPEN LETTER TO EMPEROR AKIHITO OF JAPAN
From Jimmy Goddard (Youth-Pastor, Christian, American)

I speak for the LIVING GOD who answers prayers, and who stands in judgement over your godless nation. For thousands of years you have been ignoring the GOSPEL of JESUS CHRIST, and his sacrifice which cleansed our sins.

And now god’s vengence is been made clear – and yet you still defy him by “praying” to your pagan deities. ( http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-31749_16…-10391698.html ). I humbly call upon you to renounce your paganism, embrace Jesus Christ, the LAMB OF GOD and convert to Christianity.

I promise you with 100% certainty that if you were to give your heart to Jesus today God would instantly quench the satanic fires that rage in your nuclear reactors. But if you continue to defy God’s commandments let it be known that his wrath will make the events of the last few weeks seem as nothing. Your land will be torn asunder. Your nation and every godless thing you stand for will be destroyed.

Compassionately Yours,

Jimmy

Brothers and sisters in Christ, it should now be obvious to anyone with eyes that God is enraged with Japan. He hates them for a long list of reasons, some of which I understand (being racist perverts and bowing down to that fat (idol) budha for one!), and many I don’t. But God is smarter than the rest of us, so we’ll all take His word for it and send Him a big “Thank You Jesus!” in our prayers this week. Even our good and faithful student Rhoblogy agrees that God hates Japan. Japan is doomed unless the Elect among them Repent. Our God is so good! Praise the wide loving mercy of our angry God’s Absolute Sovereign Wrath and Hatred! May all wake up one day to the Absolute Truth of the True Gospel of the Pure Doctrines that we Discernmentalists alone along with the Ways of the Master preach.


Martin Luther On Alcohol

September 18, 2011

Accordingly if the devil should say, ‘Do not drink,’ you should reply to him, ‘On this very account, because you forbid it, I shall drink, and what is more, I shall drink a generous amount. Thus one must always do the opposite of that which Satan prohibits. What do you think is my reason for drinking wine undiluted, talking freely, and eating more often, if it is not to torment and vex the devil who made up his mind to torment and vex me.

~ Martin Luther

What an evil man! Clearly this proves that those closet Papists (Reformed In Name Only)—Lutherans are grace-hating man-loving carnal-minded semi-Pelagian reprobates. May God damn all those man-worshipping God-hating Lutherans or any RINO (Reformed In Name Only) Calvinist who quotes from that Satanist Martin Luther.

More proof that Martin Luther is an evil denier of the Gospel of Grace: he brewed his own beer in a place of worship at that—Pure Blasphemous Heresy. Clearly Luther was just trying to be “hip and cool” and “appeal to carnal pagan culture!”

Thankfully we like John MacArthur (P. B. U. H.) take a stand for the Pure Doctrines of the Gospel of Grace and believe that drinking even one drop of alcohol is a sin or even using an alcohol-based mouthwash.


And Now A Word From One Of Our Sponsors:

September 14, 2011

Obama and his cronies have been funding Planned Parenthood far too long and we Bible-Believing Conservative GOIPers are fed up! It’s time we send those baby-killing socialists in Washington a message. It’s time we take back America for Jesus and return our country to Pro-Life and True Conservative Family Values. Join us in our pledge to vote out those baby-murdering secular humanist democrat thugs vote Republican with us in 2012 because the GOIP is the only party that stands for God’s Pro-Life/Pro-Family Values.


How To Truly Understand God’s Love!

December 26, 2010

Evil Liberals have tried to make the True Biblical God disappear. They have also tried to sissify churches by preaching about Grace, Mercy, an all-loving God who reconciles us to Himself and others and other Communistic philosophies.  Subtly these Emergent and Liberal thinkers have crept into churches but thankfully we have caught on to their tricks. Thanks to us, Phil Johnson and John MacArthur we are on to them and you can be too

“Liberal thinking about God’s love also permeates much of evangelicalism today. We have lost the reality of God’s wrath. We have disregarded His hatred for sin. The God most evangelicals now describe is all-loving and not at all angry. We have forgotten that “It is a terrifying thing to fall into the hands of the living God” (Hebrews 10:31). We do not believe in that kind of God anymore.”

Thankfully we here at the ODMafia and the GOIP understand what God’s Love is all about as John MacArthur also states:

“We must recapture some of the holy terror that comes with a right understanding of God’s righteous anger. We need to remember that God’s wrath does burn against impenitent sinners (Psalm 38:1-3). That reality is the very thing that makes His love so amazing. Only those who see themselves as sinners in the hands of an angry God can fully appreciate the magnitude and wonder of His love.

In that regard, our generation is surely at a greater disadvantage than any previous age. We have been force-fed the doctrines of self-esteem for so long that most people don’t really view themselves as sinners worthy of divine wrath. On top of that, religious liberalism, humanism, evangelical compromise, and ignorance of the Scriptures have all worked against a right understanding of who God is. Ironically, in an age that conceives of God as wholly loving, altogether devoid of wrath, few people really understand what God’s love is all about.”

Yep that’s right—God’s Love is all about His Wrath and Commendable Hatred towards sinners like Roman Catholics, Emergents, Brian McLaren, Arminians and gay people, etc. Truly this is the only WAY to really understand God’s Love.


Black-n-White-o-poly!!!

December 7, 2010

Introducing the all new  

the fun new Bible-based game for Discernmentalist families to practice their pretzel-logic skills.

A sample logic puzzle from our game:

According to the Bible, God not only knows the future, (God is omniscient) but He has unchangeably ordained everything from the beginning, and He infallibly brings to pass all things according to His perfect plan. Also according to the Bible, Jesus is God but Jesus does not know the future nor the hour of the end of the world. Giving these facts Jesus is either:

a) a liar; not who the Bible says He is;

b)  God does not know (all of) the future, He takes risks, learns lessons, makes mistakes and changes His mind (Open Theism);

c) of course, Jesus is God—THE BIBLE is Inerrantly clear!;

or d) a black & white answer that doesn’t satisfactorily answer this question.

The answer of course is d. Thank you for playing Black-n-White-o-poly!!!


Introducing Our Brand Spanking New Truth War Motivators!

June 12, 2010

 

Created especially for our fellow Truth Warriors in this war against for  Truth—and especially for Phil Johnson who only wishes he could create posters half as good as we can come up with on any given day. Click here for more if you dare. Come on we double dog dare you that is unless you are truly one of our enemies who denies there is such thing as Absolute Truth which of course we mere errant mortal humans get to define the Bible defines. On second thought nevermind even if you are one of our many enemies, ye should click just to be smited with our Truth and see us point and laugh at how you are the ignorant ones for denying our Discernmentalist values.

* Feel free to link or don’t link back to them on your site but just remember We Know who you are and We Know what you are doing as we can see, hear, smell, taste and feel all through are Bible-Based Osmosis.

** These Truth War Motivators are subject to be added to or subtracted from our library at any time.

*** And remember WWJMD? (What would John MacArthur Do?)


Was Hitler A Truly Regenerate Elect Christian?

May 28, 2010

 

Rhoblogy actually had the gall to ask such an ignorant question. Of course, Hitler was Truly of the Regenerate Elect and a True Christian being the True Truth Warrior that he was. Brannon Howse should reprimand Rhoblogy and ban him from voting in the next Republican National Convention until he publically Repents of his ignorance. Phil Johnson should also revoke Rhoblogy’s commenting privileges on the Mighty Truth Warrior site: Pyromaniacs. We just pray and hope that Rhoblogy is not one of  the many unfortunate sinners to fall into the hands of our angry God of Wrath not love. Thankfully though being some of the lucky Chosen few who are of the True Godly Elect we’re here to set Rhoblogy straight just as our affectionate Uncle Ken Silva would have already if he was as gifted at True Discernmentalism as We are here.

God has gifted us with such a high and mighty gift of self-righteous Discernmentalism that we are able to presume a person’s Eternal Destiny. Hitler was not only a True Truth Warrior just like John MacArthur is but he is also a True man of God as well and we’ll show you just why—as you know if you are a good and faithful student of John MacArthur’s Pure Truth Wars Doctrines™ that the mark of a Truly Regenerate Elect Christian Truth Warrior of Absolute Truth in this war against for Truth is as follows:

  1. a True Christian must be anti-Catholic:
    1. The mass of the catholic church is ‘a blasphemous fable and a dangerous deceit’. The pope of rome is antichrist. ( instead of Christ) The Romish Church is not a true church in any biblical sense. It is the whore of Babylon as stated in Rev. 17-18. This is the position taken by historic protestantism. Any so called protestants who have wandered from this position are apostate protestants. The catholic church may be a false church of God in the same way as satan is God’s devil. God is soverign!
  2. a True Christian is Protestant
  3. a True Christian is anti-social,  anti-Socialist and anti-Communist
  4. a  True Christian takes a stand against all things gay and homosexual

Hitler exemplified all of these marks and here is just one quote by him as Absolute Proof:

‘Hitler’s Truth War:

“Today they say that Christianity is in danger, that the Catholic faith is threatened. My reply to them is: for the time being, Christians and not international atheists are now standing at Germany’s fore. I am not merely talking about Christianity; I confess that I will never ally myself with the parties which aim to destroy Christianity. Fourteen years they have gone arm in arm with atheism. At no time was greater damage ever done to Christianity than in those years when the Christian parties ruled side by side with those who denied the very existence of God. Germany’s entire cultural life was shattered and contaminated in this period. It shall be our task to burn out these manifestations of degeneracy in literature, theater, schools, and the press—that is, in our entire culture—and to eliminate the poison which has been permeating every facet of our lives for these past fourteen years.” (Source).

 Sound familiar?

Right now, truth is under attack, and it’s going on within the boundaries of evangelicalism. There’s a lot at stake and there’s no middle ground—no safe zone for the uncommitted in this war. [T]he church today is quite possibly more susceptible to false teachers, doctrinal saboteurs, and spiritual terrorism than any other generation in church history. Biblical ignorance within the church may well be deeper and more widespread than at any other time since the Protestant Reformation. (Source).

Oh yeah and here’s a quote by Hitler on the Penal Substitutionary Theory of the Atonement just in case you deny the True Truth Warrior-ness of Hitler:

“My feelings as a Christian points me to my Lord and Savior as a fighter. It points me to the man who once in loneliness, surrounded by a few followers, recognized these Jews for what they were and summoned men to fight against them and who, God’s truth! was greatest not as a sufferer but as a fighter. In boundless love as a Christian and as a man I read through the passage which tells us how the Lord at last rose in His might and seized the scourge to drive out of the Temple the brood of vipers and adders. How terrific was His fight for the world against the Jewish poison. To-day, after two thousand years, with deepest emotion I recognize more profoundly than ever before the fact that it was for this that He had to shed His blood upon the Cross. As a Christian I have no duty to allow myself to be cheated, but I have the duty to be a fighter for truth and justice… And if there is anything which could demonstrate that we are acting rightly it is the distress that daily grows. For as a Christian I have also a duty to my own people.

-Adolf Hitler, in a speech on 12 April 1922 (Norman H. Baynes, ed. The Speeches of Adolf Hitler, April 1922-August 1939, Vol. 1 of 2, pp. 19-20, Oxford University Press, 1942)

John MacArthur couldn’t have said it any better:

“My Absolute Certainty as a Christian points me to my Lord and Savior as a fighter. It points me to the man who once in loneliness, surrounded by a few followers, recognized these Bible-denying Emergent Red-Letter Socialist Justice  promoting Seeker-Sensitive Purpose-Driven heretic Christians for what they were and summoned men to fight against them and for God’s truth! Jesus was greatest not as a sufferer but as a fighter—a zealous warrior for Absolute Truth. In boundless love as a Christian and as a man I read through the passage which tells us how the Lord at last rose in His might and seized the scourge to drive out of the Temple the brood of vipers and adders. How terrific was His fight for the Absolute Truth against worldly poison. To-day, after two thousand years, with deepest emotion I recognize more profoundly than ever before the fact that it was for Absolute Truth that He had to shed His blood upon the Cross. As a Christian I have no duty to allow myself to be cheated nor let the Church be deceived, but I have the duty to be a fighter for Absolute Truth and the True Justice of  our God’s Absolute Sovereign Wrath… And if there is anything which could demonstrate that we are acting rightly it is the distress that daily grows. For as a Christian I have also a duty to my own people—the Church, God’s People—the True Godly and Elect. 


1 Hour Calvinizing guaranteed clean!

May 20, 2010

The ODMafia is now offering 1 hour Calvinizing to make sure you are clean before Jesus. Yes, make you Election sure with 1 hour Calvinizing!


John MacArthur Declared The First Ever Discernmentalist Pope!

May 15, 2010

 

John  MacArthur aka Pope Pyro after being elected to the position of the first ever Pope of Discernmentalists! Photo courtesy of Pyromaniac Archives. Photographer: Ken Silva.

(Annoying News: a  ministry of disseminating misinformation, lies and slander while apprising everyone to follow only the cults of celebrity in the Discernmentalist World )–  Normally we are against all things Roman Catholic except in special circumstances ie. our dependence on Saint Augustine’s interpretation of Aristotelian philosophy or R. C.  Sproul’s love of Aquinas. This is one of those times when these special circumstances may be applied against our normative Absolute Rules. After Discernmentalists  declared John MacArthur 100% infallible by a voting margin of 100-0 this Jan., it was proclaimed that the logical  conclusion of this recent  event was to elect MacArthur the first ever Discernmentalist Pope.

Ken Silva reports: “Indeed the word infallible applied to any person can only signify that one  has elicited the status of Pope-hood other than that infallibility must only be applied to our  Holy Inerrant Bible—the Only True Word of God.” 

Vicki, a typical McArthurite reacts to the news of the election of MacArthur as the first Discernmentalist Pope ever: 

Anyone who disagrees with John MacArthur on any point of Doctrine is just full of arrogance and condensation.

My understanding of the doctrine of election is not at all sinful–John MacArthur told me so.

Trusting too much to history and too little to the teaching of scripture would have left us in Rome–John MacArthur told me so.

There is a price a godly man must pay to be heard, that price is humility and respect.
If a man wants an audience to listen to his doctrine-he would do well to heed the following!

” Remind them to be submissive to rulers and authorities, to be obedient, to be ready for every good work, to speak evil of no one, to avoid quarreling, to be gentle, and to show perfect courtesy toward all people.”
Titus 3:1-3 (ESV).— (Source).

Ken Silva asked Phil Johnson aka Pastor Hugh Jass or Spurgeon’s clone, MacArthur’s flunky lacky hindquarters right-hand man about his boss’s election to Discernmentalist Pope-hood. Phil responded: “Deep down I always knew that this day would come when he (MacArthur) would be elected Pope over all Discernmentalists and the Truth Wars as the #1 Truth Truth Warrior of Absolute Truth. I wholeheartedly support the recent vote on the infallibility of my boss and his election to the office of Discernmentalist Pope.”

Ken Silva pressed the rest of the fine, outstanding, Discernmentalist-minded and Biblically based Pyromaniacs crew: Frank Turk and Dan Phillips et al. on their thoughts but they were unavailable to comment.

————————————————————————-

Ken Silva is the exclusive  author of Annoying News. He is a Master Discerner of all. When he is not discernmentalizing the 99% of humanity who do not agree with him, you can usually  find him preaching to the choir of the small Southern Baptist Church of 8 members that he pastors. Sometimes he uses a Truth Rod–although this may just be a rumor.


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