Jesus and Wine.

Jesus and Wine.

 

Many people misunderstand what Jesus was actually teaching when he used wine as an example and when turned water into wine.

First let’s look as the first time Jesus talk’s about wine.

Matthew 9: 14Then^(S) the disciples of John came to him, saying,^(T) “Why do we and^(U) the Pharisees fast,^[c] but your disciples do not fast?” 15And Jesus said to them, ^(V) “Can the wedding guests mourn as long as the bridegroom is with them?^(W) The days will come when the bridegroom is taken away from them, and^(X) then they will fast. 16No one puts a piece of unshrunk cloth on an old garment, for the patch tears away from the garment, and a worse tear is made. 17Neither is new wine put into old^(Y) wineskins. If it is, the skins burst and the wine is spilled and the skins are destroyed. But new wine is put into fresh wineskins, and so both are preserved.” (The Holy and anointed unbiased ESV)

 Now many miss this teaching. Note the question? “”Why do we and^(U) the Pharisees fast,^[c] but your disciples do not fast?” Then Jesus states that because he is there, His disciples do not need to fast, but there will be a day when Jesus is gone that His disciples will fast and the Pharisees and disciples of John will not. Jesus then talks about wine and wineskins. This is where so many miss the point. Often New Age Emergerants will try to say that this is “spiritual”. We know that nothing in our faith is “spiritual” as that would lead to “living by the Spirit” and we will have nothing to do with that! Now, the Ermergerants will say that the old traditions are gone and the new traditions are better. So they twist this verse to mean, ”If you put new wine in old wine skins it will burst the skins and spill the wine.” Oh yeah! They would love spilling wine in their emerging church orgies! Yep, I can hear them now, “a little wine for you and a little for me, and next week we break out the Hookah’s and some weed for service!” Now that is blasphemy and not what Jesus was teaching at all.

 Here is what Jesus meant. We are not to drink wine meant we are not to eat too much otherwise we will burst from too much food. Those stupid Emergerants will twist the bible to mean whatever they want it to mean and not what we want it to mean! Jesus was just warning his disciples not to eat too much. It is that simple.

 Now the other misunderstood passage is this one.

 John 2 1On(A) the third day there was a wedding at(B) Cana in Galilee, and the mother of Jesus was there. 2Jesus also was invited to the wedding with(C) his disciples. 3When the wine ran out, the mother of Jesus said to him, “They have no wine.” 4And Jesus said to her, (D) “Woman,(E) what does this have to do with me?(F) My hour has not yet come.” 5His mother said to the servants, “Do whatever he tells you.”

 6Now there were six stone water jars there^(G) for the Jewish rites of purification, each holding twenty or thirty^(H) gallons.^[a] 7Jesus said to the servants, “Fill the jars with water.” And they filled them up to the brim. 8And he said to them, “Now draw some out and take it to the master of the feast.” So they took it. 9When the master of the feast tasted^(I) the water now become wine, and did not know where it came from (though the servants who had drawn the water knew), the master of the feast called the bridegroom 10and said to him, “Everyone serves the good wine first, and when people have drunk freely, then the poor wine. But you have kept the good wine until now.” 11This, the first of his signs, Jesus did at Cana in Galilee, and manifested^(J) his glory. And^(K) his disciples believed in him. (God’s truly anointed and Chris Pajak approved version the ESV)

This is often used by Emergerants to prove that they can get drunk in their orgy services. Yet again I will tell you what it really means. First off, we see that Mary is able to make Jesus do what she wanted even though Jesus did not want to do it. So here we see principle 1.

 Principle 1. A good ODM knows how to manipulate God to do what the ODM wants.

 The next principle is that Jesus did this miracle to secretly take now who was a sinner and who was not. Jesus simply watched to see who drank the wine and who did not and thus knew which disciple he would have trouble with. Didn’t you ever wonder how Jesus knew Judas would betray Him? Well now you know!

 Principle 2. A good ODM tests others like Jesus did to see who is truly saved and who is not!

 The third and last principle is this. Jesus did this miracle to show the sinners so He could show how holy He was! It never states Jesus drank any of this wine… in fact later we read that Jesus was offered wine on the cross and He refused. This proves that booze is bad! So we know this was a test and was to show Jesus was way holier than anyone else!

 Principle 3. Like Jesus, ODM’s are way too holy to drink booze and will not fail the test as simple as this. The ODM is as holy as Jesus so there is no way we will drink, but as stated, when we see someone who does we simply raise the finger of judgment and condemnation and shout, “SINNER! REPENT!”

New tech reviews truth warrior brain power

It has been readily admitted that discernmentalist thinking  (aka truth warriors) is unique among the world. It has been admitted by a number of truth warriors such as DonJobson ” It is because of our ability to read minds, and dissect truth unlike other ‘normal’ apologists. We can see when they ‘think liberal’….” ITodyaso, CEO of ODMafia weighing in suggested “we think differently because we are a special gift to humanity. When you know it all, you want to share it all.”

Other truth warriors elaborated on all of our unique thinking abilities….

1) If John MacArthur states 2+2=5 (ie because of his expertise in biblical math) whereas John Armstrong declares it to be 4 (ie not using Biblical math)….Armstrong is obviously wrong. Even IF the answer flies in the face of logic, or the fact that the Bible does not teach math. MacArthur is by his nature correct, because he is a truth warrior…Armstrong is ’soft’ on Post-modernism,  liberals and the Emerging Church and therefore if follows that MacArthur MUST be right on all things.

2) If Dan Kimball says “Jesus is Lord” he really means “a false new-age, post-modern, man-made-Jesus-is-Lord” because no emerging church member can be saved. Only right-wing-republican-conservative-Christians who support war can actually be saved.

3) When Rob Bell is declared an Emergent by numerous discernmentalists….he is therefore Emergent. If Rob and Mars Hill denies the claim it is because he is lying. All Emergents are liars….and they seek to deceive the masses and generally take over the world.

4) Shane Claiborne wears natural fibers….he is therefore not saved.

Remember, we at ODMafia set the standard.

Red Letter (non)-Christian And Emergent Holiday

Tony Campolo and some evil Emergents burn our flag and cross while raising the Red banner of Obama in celebration of November 7th.

Today and Sunday all Red Letter non-Christians and Emergents will celebrate an evil anti-Christian holiday—non holy day is more like it. Today being:

 November 7: October Revolution Day in Belarus and other various regions of the former Soviet Union because on 1917 – Vladimir Lenin led a Bolshevik insurrection against the Provisional Government of Alexander Kerensky, starting the Bolshevik Revolution, the second phase of the overall Russian Revolution.

And we know that those evil Red Letter Christians and Emergents wish the same thing for our God Ordained and Chosen Nation since all of them are Obama supporters—just listen to the evil anthem they plan on singing this  Sunday:

Blasphemy sheer blasphemy—we tell you! Here are trustworthy and official GOIP Internet Encyclopedia has discernmentalized and exposed us to Emergent and Red Letter Christian propaganda for this evil and dreadful day: 

More Emergent and Red Letter Christian propaganda:

Don Jobson—beware of the Red letters.

SHEALDI Deemed A Major Success

Brannon Howse backs our SHEALDI and says that ‘it is a major advance in Discernmentalist technology in our Absolute Truth War.’ 

Absolute Truth Facts about SHEALDI:

• SHEALDI also stands for “defense Sheild for Discernmentalists and their Absolute Truth ministries in the Absolute Truth War.”
• SHEALDI also stands for “Salvation Heals only Discernmentalists as only Discernmentalists are True Christians and of God’s True Elect.”
• SHEALDI also stands for “the Sheild Dyes emitted from Uncle Ken Silva’s Missives being fired off for our protection.”

Don Jobson—SHEALDIfied Discernmentalist.

 

Super Secret open letter to those outside the Secret Order of the ODM

Picture of the last SODUM meeting.

 

The ODM has the super secret gift of discerning which lie is best for what situation. My great-great-great-great-great-great-grand uncle Screwtape Todayso taught me many things before he was put into chains of darkness in Tartarus. I am here to pass these super secret ODM truths on to the ignorant masses. I was trained under my affectionate uncle Ken Silva who was secretly mentored by Walter Martin. Now Walter Martin was not one of us. He did not choose the narrow path of slander and lies to attack others.

 Here is a secret few know that Ken taught me.  Take good teaching from great men of God and twist them to fit OUR DOCTRINES. For instance, many Calvinist make great ODMs. Why? Many teach the DOCTRINES of grace while that bad ones teach the doctrines of GRACE. Do you see what I am saying? The focus is one us and who we approve as saved and worthy of the Grace of God by the filter of our own systematic theological bend. If you do not agree with us, then you are not of us. If you leave us, you were never of us. We made our Election sure by making sure God knows who the really bad Christians are. Meanwhile we can show God how great we are and how much we love Him by our zeal to commit to saving God and His fragile truth from the pagans and false Christian converts. Deep in our secret lair we seek knew and greater ways to hurt and harm those ministries we do not approve of. We have developed new technology to make it easier for our followers to judge and condemn others. It is you the reader of the ODM’s who make us as powerful as we are. The more you read us the more we infect your spirit and make you worthless and weak. God looks down and sees you and frowns in anger at your failures and we look good as we point it out.

 This plan of deflection and exposure of others sins and misdeeds has been our game for thousands of years if not more. If you rise against us you will be taken down. In fact we will crucify anyone who tries to ruin our plans. We have already done it once! So follow the ODM way and know that you will be secure in your position of favor with our great and mighty God.  Join the Secret Order of Discernmentist United in Ministries also known as SODUM.

Jan Markell Exposed As A Wolf In Sheep’s Clothing

In a recent podcast by Jan Markell exposed to us by our GOIP Bot 3000—we’ve discernmentalized that Jan violates our the Biblically correct worldview and our Sound Biblical thinking:

Item #5

Jan Markell
God’s Final Warning to America John McTernan has been warning America for thirty years that judgment is coming to our nation. He believes the struggles in America today, including corrupt leadership, is, in fact, a judgment. Since America is basically a good and decent nation, what have we done that could so anger God?

Can you spot her error? That’s right she called ‘America a basically  good and decent nation.’ What blasphemy! Doesn’t Jan know that  only  God is good–especially when He pours down His wrath on all of our enemies. Absolute Proof that only God can be called good—why because the bible and Ray Comfort say so:

Mark 10:18 (King James Version)

 ¹⁸And Jesus said unto him, Why callest thou me good? there is none good but one, that is, God.

In fact,  Ray Comfort would be appalled at Jan’s filthy and blasphemous mouth. We Online Discernmentalists must call Jan back to our version of Biblical Integrity and the Absolute Truth. Repent Jan repent lest ye be found among the unregenerate and non-Elect.

GOIP-Lander!

We here at the Online Discernmentalist Mafia and GOIP Productions are proud to present to you GOIP-Lander: the story of one man and his band of friends as they fight to purify everything that they see in a War of Absolute Truth.  Starring Don Jobson, James Dobson, The OD Mafia crew and co-starring  John MacArthur, Ken Silva, Todd Friel and a whole host of other Truth Warriors and Online Discernmentalists of the Truth War.

This loyal crew of  Absolute Truth Warriors are fighting to establish Absolute Theocracy over everyone. Living by their motto:

One God, One Purified Religion, One Christian Nation, One Single-Party Theocratic System Of Government And Absolute Dominon Over The Non-Elect Heathens.

Will their goals succeed or not? Join them on their quest and a behind the scenes look at the rise of God’s Only Inerrant Party—the adventure of a lifetime! This film’s soundtrack features an all star musical cast including the hit song and theme song of the film God Hates The World by Charles Roast and Fred Phelps as performed by the Nationalist GOIP Orchestra and Westboro Baptist Choir:

Also features the love theme Broken Wings by Ken Silva:

In theaters soon—so go and watch it or else………….!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

—————————————————————————

Don Jobson and Truthslayer—-Absolute Truth Film experts.

We Want To Hear From You Or Else

Write us at our ranch:

1 The Way

Dobson Ranch, AZ,

Jesusland, USA

Ranch tours available upon request. Follow us on Facebook as well or else.

Obama Is The Anti-Christ And Hates America

Recently  our resident Redneck GOIPers discovered shocking evidence that proves once and for all without a shadow of a doubt that Obama is the political anti-Christ. We’ve known all along that he hates America, our Rite to theocracy and Our God-ordained Holy Republican American Reich so this is no surprise. Also Obama wants to hand America over to Canada a nation run by satanists that is his evil plan in destroying our God-ordained and God Chosen Nation. Here is what “RR” has to say:

I admire Glen Beck with every fiber of my being for going on national television and calling the president a racist with a deep seated hatred toward white people. Beck is so right, but the only problem is that he doesn’t go far enough. Obama hates Americans, and the country we live in. Hate is too soft a word. Obama loathes each and every citizen with a hate that few people can comprehend. The man is full of hate.

There have been blogs that compare Obama to Hitler, but that is going easy on Hitler. Hitler at least was doing what he felt, however misguided, was in the best interest of the German people. Obama is doing the opposite. He wishes only harm and misery on the American people. That is his goal, and we are seeing his hateful scheme unfold before our very eyes.

Obama’s plan is to create a humongous socialist government. Each and every American will become wholly independent on Obama’s Big Brother, Orwellian government. Only Obama will decide who will be happy and sad. Only Obama will determine who will be successful and who will fail. All the power will go into his hands. Of course, one element of this evil plan is universal health care. Like Sarah Palin said, there will be death panels that determine who will live and who will die. And die we will. Mainly white people. Same as the Jews during Hitler’s regime, but instead of gas chambers, Obama will use universal health care.

When one thinks of the most evil people in the history of the world, Obama tops them all. On 9/11/2001, Osama Bin Laden killed brazenly 3000 innocent Americans. Obama wants to kill a lot more than 3000.

 

I and Ken Silva agree that it is offensive to Hitler to compare Obama to him as Hitler is our Führer Ron Luce’s hero. Ingrid “Eva Braun” Schlueter also adds that we must Take America back by force in order to establish our theocratic dominion.

Don Jobson—p.s. after stealing enough money from the poor and hiring Legal immigrant computer techs to help with my Mexican and Canadian slaves —we’ve finally “officialized”  The Official Blog Of God’s Only Inerrant Party.

The most hated ODM site and the most hated ODM revealed is postponed do to “Chad” tampering.

 

(FIX Network The network where we fix the news we broadcast) We are still in heavy debate as to what to do. We were just about to reveal the most hated ODM and their site when a phone call came in with terrible news. Apparently there was an issue with someone tampering with Chad the official ballot counter. Though another independent ballot counter was brought in, debate as to whether the ballots would be counted correctly as Al Franken (a liberal) was found to have won according to the independent ballot counter co. Al Franken was not even on the ballot so this was a shock and we immediately demanded a recount!

 

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It seems the main debate was with Chad who was fixing many improperly casted ballot cards by using his unique discernmentalist powers of knowing what the voter really meant. Chad’s talent is one that is used throughout the ODM world on a regular basis. The unique discernmentalist power is being able to take a clear statement someone says and twist it to mean whatever the ODM desires it to mean. By doing this the ODM can always be right by twisting the other person’s words to the obviously wrong meaning. Chad was doing fine until someone began spreading rumors that Chad was tampering with the ballots. We want all to know that was not the case and Chad is the victim of a vicious RCC/Emergent/PDL/Seeker Driven/Arminian/Charismatic/Democratic conspiracy to discredit ODM’s as dishonest. We do not argue we are not dishonest, rather we ODM’s see our dishonesty when used honestly to protect the Truth as honorable. So it is a debate over God’s Honor being discredited by those who hate God and OUR DOCTRINAL truth that protects God, Country, The Bible and the American Way of Life.

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So we contend that if you followed our logical argument that Chad is the true victim and call to fasting, prayer and that all True Believers in the ODM way send us more money, (we prefer cash as it is not as easy to be traced by the evil Government).

 

We hope that soon this mess will be figured out and that the winner of this prestigious award will be revealed soon. Stay tuned!

 

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