The ODM has the super secret gift of discerning which lie is best for what situation. My great-great-great-great-great-great-grand uncle Screwtape Todayso taught me many things before he was put into chains of darkness in Tartarus. I am here to pass these super secret ODM truths on to the ignorant masses. I was trained under my affectionate uncle Ken Silva who was secretly mentored by Walter Martin. Now Walter Martin was not one of us. He did not choose the narrow path of slander and lies to attack others.
Here is a secret few know that Ken taught me. Take good teaching from great men of God and twist them to fit OUR DOCTRINES. For instance, many Calvinist make great ODMs. Why? Many teach the DOCTRINES of grace while that bad ones teach the doctrines of GRACE. Do you see what I am saying? The focus is one us and who we approve as saved and worthy of the Grace of God by the filter of our own systematic theological bend. If you do not agree with us, then you are not of us. If you leave us, you were never of us. We made our Election sure by making sure God knows who the really bad Christians are. Meanwhile we can show God how great we are and how much we love Him by our zeal to commit to saving God and His fragile truth from the pagans and false Christian converts. Deep in our secret lair we seek knew and greater ways to hurt and harm those ministries we do not approve of. We have developed new technology to make it easier for our followers to judge and condemn others. It is you the reader of the ODM’s who make us as powerful as we are. The more you read us the more we infect your spirit and make you worthless and weak. God looks down and sees you and frowns in anger at your failures and we look good as we point it out.
This plan of deflection and exposure of others sins and misdeeds has been our game for thousands of years if not more. If you rise against us you will be taken down. In fact we will crucify anyone who tries to ruin our plans. We have already done it once! So follow the ODM way and know that you will be secure in your position of favor with our great and mighty God. Join the Secret Order of Discernmentist United in Ministries also known as SODUM.
Church damaged by candles used in secret Emergent meeting. Thank God there were no couches in there as the whole place would have burnt down!
ODMafia Daily (Sep .29, 2009) — Discernmentalist have developed a new technique to monitor emerging heretical movements beneath the Earth’s surface, helping them better understand how Emergent’s behave.
The team, led by top ODM, I. Todyaso from the ODM University, says that the new method, which uses data collected from heretics, potentially allows the Emergent activity to map more comprehensively other heretical movements.
ODM’s currently monitor underground movements, such as Emergents, using super-secret – instruments that measure the motion of those movements at local churches. This helps to indicate where they might be taking place and what churches could be infected next.
Now, by analyzing the heretical waves from two different Emergent meetings, the team has been able to simulate the heretical waves from one of meetings much like a recording seismometer does with earthquakes. The discovery allows Emergents themselves to be used as virtual seismometers that record passing heretical waves from tremors to full fledged “Soul Tsunamis”.
Using Emergents in this way substantially increases the number of locations that could be used to detect Emergent activity. And since Emergents services occur in dimly lit buildings with couches, using them also allows ODM”s to monitor other heretical activity from far the future!
The research, published in Natural Judgmentalism, was carried out in collaboration with the British ODM Survey and other ODM Universities.
TruthSlayer, Professor of Mathematical Heretical Studies at the ODM University of Canada, said: “This turns the way we can twist Emerging movements leaders quotes on their head. By using Emergents themselves as virtual microphones that record the sound of heretics internal movements, we can listen to the Heretics stretching and cracking from directly within its most heretical places.”
Dr. Brian D. Southernbaptie, ODMology Team Leader at the British ODMological Survey, said: “This discovery shows how we can measure strains of heresy deep inside the Church and helps improve our understanding of the processes driving emerging activity so we are better equipped to lie about what they really teach.”
(Name removed upon request) aka “Pastorboy” demanded that CRninfo not use his real name at their site. Over the last few years “CRN’s (Name removed upon request), who is pastor of River of Life Alliance Church,” has begun to spread rumors that a heretic named “iggy” is secretly running the ODMafia. iggy is known for all sorts of foul and stenchful things he believes like Jesus is the only way of salvation, a person is save by Grace through faith not by works and that one can only receive eternal life through the Resurrected life of Jesus Christ. (Of course he can’t really believe that as he is a heretic after all!) (Name removed upon request) does write a convincing article though and we here at the ODMafia were almost convinced ourselves it was the real deal, yet we realized that (Name withheld by request) is also running a parody site of CRNinfo and analysis and is really giving them a run for their satire money! We had to laugh as we almost closed this blog down thinking the lie, libel slander humorous post was true! Thank God TruthSlayer put on his magical discernmentalist glasses and saw right through the satire/parody that (Name removed upon request) aka Pastorboy had written. What we found the most funny that with self righteous indignation (Name removed upon request) aka Pastorboy stated:
Thanks for the laugh (Name removed by request) aka Pastorboy sometimes we take ourselves too seriously here. We are glad you have a sense of humor. I mean we all know that (Name removed upon request) aka Pastorboy would never get upset for someone using his real name on the internet.
I mean (Name removed upon request) aka Pastorboy did not get angry when Ken Silva posted his full name and the name of his church at CRN. So why would he be hypocritical and get mad if someone else did the same thing? And most of all, (Name removed upon request) aka Pastorboy would always turn the other cheek. He would never try to get even now would he?
* Note there may be more than one Ken Silva listed together at the site linked to above, but Pastor/Leader/President/Teacher/Editor/Chief Editor/Internet Guru/My Affectionate Uncle/My Mentor/Lord of the Ring/Lord of the Manor/Master of his Domain/Imperial Wizard/Grand Poupon/Master of Disaster/The One that puts the fun in Fundamentalist/Grand Master Discernmentalist/Mentored by Walter Martin by listening to cassette tapes/ is a very busy man so who really knows?
I am asking you, if you are a brother in Christ, to take this post down.
If you are not a brother in Christ, and demonstrate it by keeping this post up, I will retain an attorney and I will be forced to sue you for slander.
But do what you will. I will continue to pray for you either way. You need help, Itodyaso/Iggy/Carlos
Again, we are nothing but supportive of (Name removed upon request) here. We are totally behind and supportive of (Name removed upon request) at this site. We will help you with the lawyer fees to go after whoever you want to sue even us with any donations sent to us in your name. I mean that is the ODM way! Sue people and get things done! Why would you or we attempt to reconcile with others and repent for the libel against others you and we have commit (Name removed upon request), as that would take humility from you and us and God knows that is not the ODM way. So do your version of “Christian brotherly love” and retain your lawyer and sue the ODMafia of slander or whoever the Holy Spirit guides you to sue in the Name of Jesus. We again are nothing but supportive of you! (Though it would actually be libel and if there was really a case, and we stated nothing untrue about you. We only reported what we saw you do yesterday.)
In other news, (Name removed upon request) aka Pastorboy twitter account can be found if you Google “(Name removed upon request)”. It appears in the top 5 of the list. Yes, (Name removed upon request) would never use his real name and “pastorboy” together and give away his real identity.
In the comments Pastorboy Says:
August 6th, 2009 at 8:49 am
#110
There, he did it again.
I forgive you, Joe, for attempting to reveal my identity by using my full name, something I won’t do to you because of your little girls and your wife may be prone to stalkers as a result.
We also stand behind (Name removed upon request) in his stand against using his real identity as we all want the freedom to say mean, unbiblical, and outrageous statements about others without being held accountable.
Now I know (Name removed upon request) and he would never post anything that would show himself using his real name online.
Remember “God does not hear the prayers of sinners” so all you sinners who need to repent are just out of luck unless you are Elect like (Name removed upon request) and the ODMafia.
Brannon Howse has posted an open letter to the AG with grave concerns over Rick Warren speaking at the General Council this year. In related news Brannon Howse and Marty Goetz will be having a Concert of Hope to raise awareness of the evil of Rick Warren while conducting praise and worship.
On a side note, I once attended a Marty Goetz concert at a church in California. He was playing at Shoreline Community Church in Monterey Ca. I was really enjoying the concert until I realized it was a Purpose Driven Church. Someone needs to alert Brannon Howse over this major oversight.
In a terrible twist of fate, the ODMafia Research mafia robots have been hacked by a rogue ODM! Our robot research monkey’s have revealed the following on Truthslayer:
1) He does not read….ever. All information is absorbed by osmosis!
2) He is far more righteous than anyone has ever believed. His righteousness exceeds that of the Pharisees.
3) Truthslayer has such an EDGE on truth that he keeps a first aid kit with him at all times (he manages to cut himself several times a day)
4) Truthslayer is simply amazed at his intense orthodoxy…so much so that he has re-edited several books of John Calvin’s Institutes (they are found not Calvinistic enough!)
5) Truthslayer has been revealed to be the TRUE special ops of TRUTH. He wears specially made night vision goggles to expose false doctrine at night.
6) In addition Truthslayer has a REINFORCED SPINE for tough battles in the never ending truth wars!
Honesty is not a high virtue for us Truth Warriors; if it was, then how would we be able to attack others as vicious as we do! To make my point in how the best of the best Truth Warriors operate, (not just the ODMafia) we turn once again to Discerning the World to show us how to be dishonest and yet come across righteous about it.
I monitor all comments on my own and then approve them.
Like I said earlier: “I like to do it this way, so I can keep up with everything that is being said. I ‘allow’ all comments…except foul language, people trying to use fake names – multiple split personalities (like Roger/Frank did and friend of Steve’s), posting the same thing over and over again (this is not spam, it’s real people), people who seemed relatively sane to start with but do not end that way after a few approved comments, people who blatantly lie and try turn my blog into something it’s not meant to be (an advertisement for false teaching). etc. I will let everyone have their say, until it gets out of hand, so don’t EVER come say I did not let you speak yur mind.”
Then from that comment on and also in other threads, “Deborah” of Discerning the World deleted many comments citing that they were “not biblical”.
Now we here at the ODMafia allow all comments no matter how annoying they are. Yet, at Discerning the World it is an amazing gift she has to be able to state “All comments are allowed” and then delete whatever comment as she deems. (Often in a way that does not allow her readers to see the rebuttals so she can lie about what they stated! Clever!) Deborah really does not let you speak your mind… oh wait she does, but she just deletes it and lies about what you said. I am almost tempted to do that here!
We give the honorary certificate today as a Dishonest Comment Deletor in “Allowing all Comments” yet not allowing
“all” to Deborah of Discerning the World. (She must be a Calvinist as “all” does not mean “all”) Congratulations!
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Dude! This is a satire site!
Before you get all bent out of shape, please realize this is a satire site spoofing the so-called "discernment ministries" who deem themselves more worthy of Grace than the rest of us. So read and have fun! BTW, we are not against "good" discernment ministries that do actual real research and extend grace to others, only the bad ones.
Posted by itodyaso 
are glad you have a sense of humor. I mean we all know that (Name removed upon request) aka Pastorboy would never get upset for someone using his real name on the internet. 
In an act of Christian charity and brotherly love “
On a side note, I once attended a Marty Goetz concert at a church in California. He was playing at 
Comment by itodyaso | 23 June, 2009 <!– @ 
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Will Farel XV
