Martin Luther Backs Socialists: Chapter The First

June 2, 2010

 

We are proud to present to you a moment from Discernmentalist Revised History uncut and uncensored: This is a tale about the Original Tea Partiers 4 Jesus and how they revolted against the Big  Bad Government and the Big Name who stood against them and opposed them. The cast of characters include: a bunch of peasants (the Original Tea Partiers 4 Jesus), the Holy Roman Emperor (Big Brother) and the Big Name who stood with Big Brother against the Original Tea Partiers 4 Jesus—that Big Name of course is Martin Luther (evil Neo-Marxist Red-Letter Christian prototype).

Our tale is a tale of sadness and woe; torture and families; the rich and the poor; the old and young; of death and taxes. Our tale begins in 1524 when the Peasants (Tea Partiers 4 Jesus) who were fed up with being heavily taxed decided to rebel (but not in a Romans 13-denying way as Romans 13 doesn’t apply to the rebellions of Conservative Bible-Believers only Liberals and Theologians who lied to Hitler to protect Jews even John MacArthur told us so) against the Holy Roman Emperor (the Big Bad Evil Socialist Government).

At first Martin Luther (our anti-hero and anti-Reagan of this story) agreed that the Peasants (Tea Partiers 4 Jesus) deserved a break from their taxes especially those who were extremely wealthy by Medieval standards (meaning they privately owned at least one cow)—so all the Peasants (Tea Partiers 4 Jesus) drew up a plan to lobby for tax cuts for the richest and most wealthiest among them. I mean why should they have to share their privately owned cattle or any other privately owned property with the government that only protects them and makes them secure. Why should they have to share with anyone for that matter as  sharing is Communism and as we all know:

The Bible mandates free market capitalism. It is anti-socialist. When Christianity adheres to the judicial specifics of the Bible, it produces free market capitalism.

On the other hand, when Christianity rejects the judicial specifics of the Bible, it produces socialism or some politically run hybrid “middle way” between capitalism and socialism, where politicians and bureaucrats make the big decisions about how people’s wealth will be allocated. Economic growth then slows or is reversed. Always.

To be continued in the next exciting part of our installments of  Discernmentalist Revised History—stay tuned for the conclusion of our tale in Martin Luther Backs Socialists: Chapter The Second…


Finally Some More Pure Gospel Music…

June 1, 2010

…from the creators of God Hates The World:

This  is a great hymn which teaches the Pure Truth War Gospel of God’s Absolute Sovereign Wrath towards the 99% of humanity He chose not to limit His atonement for. And remember: “Stop prayin,’ stop prayin,’ God will not hear you anymore” as if God ever listened to all of you unrepentant unregenerate reprobated sinners to begin with. God hears not the prayers of the reprobate, for God hates you so much that He chose  to destroy and eternally burn you in hell before you were ever  born— but if you are like us Predestined and of the Regenerate Elect and therefore able to repent, you may repent if you wish—but repentance is unecessary and not required of the Elect, for we are already “Once Saved Always Saved” no matter what.


Brannon Howes teaches how to persecute Christians

May 26, 2010

“Brannon and John will explore the five stages for establishing the persecution of Christians. Stage one. Define the opposition. Stage two: Marginalize the opposition. Stage Three: Vilify the Opposition. Stage Four: Pass laws criminalizing the activities of the opposition. Stage Five: Enforce the new laws against the opposition.”

We here at the ODMafia are soooo impressed with this latest teaching out of Brannon Howse. We see this not only as the view on how we poor, poor innocent Christians who never do anything wrong, will be slowly persecuted, but also that this can be turned around and used against OUR ENEMIES! Yes! This very outline can be used against people like Rick Warren, Brian McLaren or N.T. Wright!

 

Stage one: Name your enemies! Shoot we will do that for you! Just read our blog!

Stage two: Make your enemies lesser than yourself. Make up funny names and demean them as people.  See them as substandard Christians at best or heretics worthy of burning at the stake or at least flaming on your blog!

Stage three: Vilify your enemies! Yes, even if it is not true make things up. GOd gave true dicernmentalists the tools of this world (Lies, slander, bearing false witness… you know those things) to use against our enemies. So, do like Brannon Howse does with Rick Warren and others and make things up! Whatever it takes as the truth is what is at steak here!

Stage four: Pass law criminalizing the activities of the enemies! If they are gay, vote no to marriage and civil unions. You get the picture… make them suffer!

Stage five: Enforce them laws! So back the anti Gay Uganda laws that could put gays as well as those who know a gay person in jail  or even executed! I mean as long as we persecute gay people then we do not have to face the reality that our Christian marriages rival the world percentage wise with the secular world in divorces… and that pastors have a higher divorce rate than even the secular world! Yes, we can put the blame on Gays instead of face our own sin, depravity and weak view of the “sanctity of marriage”.


Bow down to the King of kings… OR ELSE!

May 17, 2010

One of the greatest theologians of our day Lemmy, has written the greatest ODM worship song ever. Enjoy!


Truthslayer And Don Jobson Present…

May 13, 2010

 

Nothing But The Truth: a new film that is all about the Absolute Truth from the producers of “They Came From Beyond….Modernism” and Nothing But The Truth Films. Nothing But The Truth stars Truthslayer, Don Jobson and all your other favorite ODMs as they seek to expose all to the Truth and nothing but the Truth by our own standards of Absolute Truth. Nothing But The Truth is a film that is sure to thrill and delight Discernmentalists for ages to come.

Ken Silva raves: “Nothing But The Truth contains more Truth than Emergents or my other enemies care to comprehend.”

The Wretched Ways Of The Master Religion Discernmentalism crew exclaims: ” Nothing But The Truth contains every major Truth that we care about from both John MacArthur’s Study Bible and Worldviewpedia, the free Christian Worldview encyclopedia—our inerrant and infallible insider  sources for all Absolute Truth.

Sharin’ Whiplash says excitedly: “Finally a film that proclaims ‘nothing but the Truth’ about why the rank apostasy of the Roman Arminian Free-Will loving  Pelagian based Religion of Modern Evangelicalism is the most “insidious and dangerous” threat facing the world of the Church today. How dare Arminians proclaim that God loves everyone even those whom He created for the sole purpose of sending to Hell for God has no obligation to love anyone–none whatsoever period.”

James White agrees and notes that ‘Nothing But The Truth captures John MacArthur’s Truth Wars™ brilliantly and is a definitive statement on the Pure Doctrines of our Absolute Truth of God’s Absolute Sovereign Wrath towards all but a few as John MacArthur Truthfully and solemnly proclaims:’

“Liberal thinking about God’s love also permeates much of evangelicalism today. We have lost the reality of God’s wrath. We have disregarded His hatred for sin. The God most evangelicals now describe is all-loving and not at all angry. We have forgotten that “It is a terrifying thing to fall into the hands of the living God” (Hebrews 10:31). We do not believe in that kind of God anymore.

We must recapture some of the holy terror that comes with a right understanding of God’s righteous anger. We need to remember that God’s wrath does burn against impenitent sinners (Psalm 38:1-3). That reality is the very thing that makes His love so amazing. Only those who see themselves as sinners in the hands of an angry God can fully appreciate the magnitude and wonder of His love.

In that regard, our generation is surely at a greater disadvantage than any previous age. We have been force-fed the doctrines of self-esteem for so long that most people don’t really view themselves as sinners worthy of divine wrath. On top of that, religious liberalism, humanism, evangelical compromise, and ignorance of the Scriptures have all worked against a right understanding of who God is. Ironically, in an age that conceives of God as wholly loving, altogether devoid of wrath, few people really understand what God’s love is all about.”

Rhoblogy proclaims: “Finally a Truly Christian film that understands ‘nothing but the Truth’ about the Absolute Sovereignty of our Pure Doctrines which are the Absolute Truth. I recomend this film to all (and by all I mean only the Truly Regenerated Elect) True Bible-Believing Republican Christians!”


What Biblically Verifiable Theology Looks Like

May 10, 2010

As True Christians and Discernmentalists, We must stand by our Absolute Biblical Truths like tearing others down when they stand in our way. Making fun of others when they are down in the dumps and kicking them even further is Absolutely Biblical. Using Absolute Biblical Certainty, We must stand up for these Hard Truths. Our Discernmentalist logic dictates that our theology must be Extreme by nature as our God is a very angry Sovereign God ready to pour down His Absolute Sovereign Wrath upon unsuspecting non-elected sinners at any time. Putting reprobates in their place is just part of our job as the Bible commands us to imitate our Father God in Heaven.

A video example of our Biblically verifiable theology.

We wish that crybaby reprobates would quit whining and complaining about their status as the losers of God’s Sovereign lottery of pre-determined Absolute Fatalism. God can and does get what He wants  as is His Sovereign Will and His good pleasure decrees so suck it up if you are on the losing end of God’s Absolute Sovereign Wrath as it was just Fate that you were Born to Lose. All of this is Biblically verifiable theology as We back up our Extreme Theology with the Hard Truths of the Bible and Bible-Based STRETCH Technology. This is why our Extreme approach to everything works and why We must take a stand against those trying to water down theology with love as you can’t save anyone by loving up on them. You’ve got to tell them the Truth like John MacArthur—the Hard Truth that God hates them and is so angry with their sinful ways that He could threaten to pour down His wrath upon them at any moment unless they are Elect and therefore able to repent.


People’s Cube Proves We Are Non-Conformists

April 19, 2010

We Discernmentalists are non-conformists that are not conformed to the image of the world. Certainly we are not conformed to Roman Catholicism.  Roman Catholics of old tortured and murdered those who disagreed with them in the name of Christ and the Pope whereas Calvinist Discernmentalists of old tortured and murdered those who disagreed with them in the name of Christ and Calvin. Clearly this is a big difference.

Arminians believe that Jesus will ultimately save whoever believes in Him so clearly they are conformed to unbiblical and heretical Roman Catholic doctrines at best or conformed to universalism at worst. However we Discernmentalists believe in the Pure Doctrines of Genevan Augustinianism based on the Roman Catholic doctrines of  Saint Augustine but clearly we are not conformed to unbiblical and heretical Roman Catholic doctrines.

We are not fatalistic determinists like Muslims. Muslims belive in fatalistic predestination because Mohammed and the Quaran say:

“Whatever is in the heavens and whatever is in the earth is Allah’s; and whether you manifest what is in your minds or hide it, Allah will call you to account according to it; then He will forgive whom He pleases and chastise whom He pleases, and Allah has power over all things.” S. 2:284

“Whomsoever Allah guides, he is the one who follows the right way; and whomsoever He causes to err, these are the losers. Many are the Jinns and men we have made for Hell.” S. 7:178-179

“He will admit to His Mercy whom He will; But the wrong-doers,- for them has He prepared a grievous Penalty.” S. 76:31

“Allah leads astray whomsoever He will and guides whomsoever he will.” S. 14:4

However we Discernmentalists believe: 

i. God from all eternity did, by the most wise and holy counsel of His own will, freely and unchangeably ordain whatsoever comes to pass: yet so, as thereby neither is God the author of sin, nor is violence offered to the will of the creatures, nor is the liberty or contingency of second causes taken away, but rather established.

iii. By the decree of God, for the manifestation of His glory, some men and angels are predestinated unto everlasting life, and others foreordained to everlasting death.

iv. These angels and men, thus predestinated and foreordained, are particularly and unchangeably designed; and their number is so certain and definite, that it cannot be either increased or diminished.

v. Those of mankind that are predestinated unto life, God, before the foundation of the word was laid, according to his eternal and immutable purpose, and the secret counsel and good pleasure of His will, hath chosen in Christ unto everlasting glory, out of his mere free grace and love, without any foresight of faith or good works, or perseverance in either of them, or anything in the creature, as conditions, or causes moving him thereunto; and all to the praise of his glorious grace.

—because our interpretation of the Bible says so. However we are not conformed to Mohammedanism despite the similarity of our fatalistic and paganistic language.

We are also  not like the terrorists. We do not believe in war, materialism and worldly methods of taking over church denominations like worldly people either. We would like to thank People’s Cube for helping us to prove all of our points and aiding us in the good fight to protect the church and God’s fragile Sovereignty from the attacks of Emergents, Lutherans, Arminans, Baptists,  Anglicans, PCUSAers and all manners of other apostate and worldly people who are conformed to the world in their Christ-like service of others. We also hope that this clears things up for our readers and that they remember one more thing:

A new commandment I have for you to be not conformed to the image of Christ who is the image of  God but rather be conformed to our Pure Discernmentalist Doctrines of greed, war, torture, arrogance, etc. and be conformed to the image of the backers of the Synods of Dort such as John Knox.


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