Elvis Furtick Worship!

October 20, 2011

It grieves me that Todd Friel (Wretched) has caught yet another symptom of those heretical Postmodern Emergents: Pastor Worship. [Praise John MacArthur (P. B. U. H.)!] I mean just look at these idiots [Glory be to Spurgeon (the Prince of Preachers)!] here:

Thankfully you will never catch us worshiping men [Thanks be to John MacArthur (P. B. U. H.)!] instead of Christ. I mean just look at any of our Discernmentalist websites with all of their glorious missiveness [May Spurgeon (the Prince of Preachers) be pleased!]. Remember these words from Phil Johnson (Hugh Jass) on Spurgeon (the Prince of Preachers): “Today Spurgeon is widely beloved — not only Baptists, but even a man like Thielike! — and yet during his day that was not true. Almost everyone today wants to claim Spurgeon — they think of him as a big theological teddybar and theological neutral and devotional in his preaching.

And also these words from Todd Friel (Wretched) on John MacArthur (P. B. U. H.): “Yes, there are godly, Christ-centered pastors who have very large churches, but they are definitely exceptions to the rule. A few that come to mind are Dr. John MacArthur, RC Sproul, and John Piper. Unfortunately, the average “evangelical” no longer wants solid teaching, so the men who are standing firmly on Scripture are leading small flocks.” Thankfully you have ministries like ours and Todd Friel’s to “expose the truth behind this contemporary, emergent, tolerance, new age, relevance movement going on today.” And to show you “the similarities in the worship of men rather then Christ. How some Church Pastors are being worshiped, just like pop icons are worshiped.”


Trish of Fish With Trish flubs answer to Important Doctrinal Question…

September 20, 2011


Trish of Fish with Trish states:

We are greatly concerned here for many reasons. First of all why would any Godly woman ever read the Bible—an oxymoron of terms—for as the Apostle Paul proclaimed: “Let the woman learn in silence with all subjection.” Secondly, we must Absolutely forbid women reading the Bible under any circumstances just in case she slips up and reads a passage of Scripture aloud…  in front of men and women… say like Romans 1:18-32 and therefore ‘usurps authority over man’ by preaching the Gospel to them.

If women want to know what the Bible says, they should find a man whose feet they can sit under and ‘learn in quiet submission’… especially if that man is the greatest Man of God in our Age of uncertainty, John MacArthur (P. B. U. H). Thirdly, we mustn’t ever let any woman share the Gospel as that leads to the slippery-slope of female Pastors preaching the Gospel and as we all know preaching/sharing the Gospel is a Divinely mandated role for males only. However, Trish wrongly states:

One of the greatest signs of being born again is to have the desire/boldness to speak the Word of God and to tell others about his glorious gospel (Acts 4:31). A biblical woman is a woman that shares the good news of the Gospel with her family members, her children and the lost in general. There is no distinction. You can’t be a biblical woman and not talk about the Gospel. The Gospel is at the very center of a biblical woman.

This supports that slippery-slope. What’s next? Women prophesying* in churches? Women leading in prayer? Women becoming Ruling Elders? Heaven forbid that—this is what the Ways of the Master of the Truth War himself teaches and so should we. Remember “There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus. Go into all the world and preach the gospel to all creation.” This is why we should never ever under any circumstances let a woman preach, speak or even share the Gospel… let alone Pastor a church. I hope this clears up where we all must stand in the Absolute Sovereignty of the Angry God of our Doctrine and His Holy Wrath.

Humbly serving in His gracious Wrath,

Pastor Don Jobson

*- Note: Prophesy means preach.

P. S. In related news: woman caught preaching from the Bible—millions accidently get Saved:


WWJMD If Jesus Came To Grace Community Church?

September 13, 2011


What would John MacArthur (P. B. U. H.)  do if Jesus visited Grace Community Church? Why point his self-righteous finger of condemnation and judgment at that smug Roman Mystical Liberal Fascist Wine-Drinking Tree-Hugging Commie sinner, of course!

Lets see here—Case #1—Luke 7:33-34 states: “33For John the Baptist came neither eating bread nor drinking wine; and ye say, He hath a devil./34The Son of man is come eating and drinking; and ye say, Behold a gluttonous man, and a winebibber, a friend of publicans and sinners!” If it looks like a drunkard; if it acts like a drunkard—it must be a drunkard. Simple Discernmentalist Math and as we know John MacArthur (P. B. U. H.) has stated that anyone whose lips have touched one single drop of an alcoholic liquid is a boozing sinner. Also a fellow MacArthurite (P. B. U. H.) has exclaimed: “…it only takes one sip of your legal wine to become a drunk, addicted to the stuff.”

Case #2—Matthew 5:43-48 says:

43Ye have heard that it hath been said, Thou shalt love thy neighbour, and hate thine enemy.

44But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you;

45That ye may be the children of your Father which is in heaven: for he maketh his sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sendeth rain on the just and on the unjust.

46For if ye love them which love you, what reward have ye? do not even the publicans the same?

47And if ye salute your brethren only, what do ye more than others? do not even the publicans so?

48Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect.

You hear that Jesus talked about love. Love means pleasure and pleasure leads to sinful activities of the flesh—clearly Jesus was into Pornographic Divination. These are just two in a list of many offenses of Jesus that warrant John MacArthur (P. B. U. H.)’s self-Righteous finger of condemnation—so bow to our Glorious Elder’s Holy Finger of Judgment and keep spreading the fear and hate of all things Emergent and Young Restless & Reformed.


Porn-Surfer!

September 5, 2011

            (The Whore Of Babylon rides a red surfboard)

We used Eric Barger’s new R. I. C. K. S. H. A. W. (Reconnaissance Inquiry Computing Konspiracies Seeking Heretics’ Apostasy [TRUTH] Warhead) in order to write this movie review:

Porn-Surfer is the newest popular “feel good” secular film with the sole motivational purpose of promoting lust. Porn-Surfer tells the story of  an immodestly bikini clad preteen surfer who still surfs and dresses immodestly even after God punishes her with His Absolute Sovereign Wrath by sending a shark to bite off one of her arms. To further add to the sinful rebellion of the main character—“Even though Bethany is only 13 years old, we see no repercussions for her prideful rebellion against her parents; instead, everyone heads out the door with a cheerful kiss and goodbye. There is no discussion of danger, no talk of deception, no rebuke, and no consequence.

Talk about humanistic arrogance and pride! Porn-Surfer not only seems to be all about lust but also promotes a man-centered; God-hating;  ear-tickling; grace-hating man-loving  Semi-Pelagian Arminianist worldview. (And we all know where the heresy of Arminianism came from as it was the false gospel of Satan from the Garden as Arminianism is the root of all evil—not only that Arminianism leads back to it’s equally heretical forerunner: Romanism and Popery)! An example of the Arminianist bent of this movie is how Bethany’s “passion for surfing” supercedes her need for a Savior such as how she always fulfills the selfish desires of her sinful flesh first before even giving a thought to pleasing her Absolute Sovereign Savior.

Another example of the ear-tickling man-pleasing ways of the Bethany character: “…(her) arriving late for a seaside church service, Bethany throws a cover-up over her wet bikini, and takes a seat. As family and friends finish singing “Blessed Be Your Name,” Bethany continues to gaze out over the ocean, seeming to long for the waves. One of the first questions she asks her father after the accident is, “When can I surf again?” Pure man-centered-ness at it’s worse! Not only is this Pure Arminian babble but also filled with Purpose-Driven heresy which is a total mischaracterization of the Gospel for as John MacArthur (P. B. U. H.) always says: “this life should always be purposeless and that’s the Absolute Gospel Truth.”

Our Research Robot Monkeys also noted of this smutty film: “The immodesty throughout the film is significant, as nearly the entire movie takes place on the beach where most of the women wear skimpy swimwear and the men go shirtless. The surfing scenes are particularly problematic as bikini-clad surfers are filmed curving around the waves from various compromising angles. Though there are no “sex scenes,” the nearly constant display of beautiful, tan, near-naked young Hollywood actresses still make sex an issue. If a man would find it difficult not to lust sitting at a crowded beach watching beautiful women in bikinis walk by, then he will probably have a hard time with this movie. Pornography is a real issue and men who are struggling with this sin know the importance of avoiding giving provision to the flesh.

But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh, to fulfill its lusts. (Romans 13:14)

It is important to recognize that we live in a sex-saturated culture. Many men, Christian men, struggle daily with internet pornography.”

In conclusion, this is the typical Emerging film for Emergent and YRR type sinners who seek new lows in order to  justify their wicked depravity and God-hating rebellion. This movie is nothing more than sinful pornographic Arminian Papist filth. It is a shame that this film was marketed as a Christian-themed film because of how ungodly it is—there is no redeeming factor whatsoever about this trash as “there was no Gospel (the Glorious Doctrines of Dort) or (even a) redemptive message (for that matter) in the movie. For the record, I don’t think a movie has to be produced (solely) by Christians, or be (totally) about Christians, to glorify God. At the same time, I think it can be produced by Christians, even be (all) about (only) Christians, and still fail to glorify God.”


Terminal cancer? Make disciples or DIE!

May 28, 2011

Picture source

The ever growing figure of Todd Friel guides us into further knowledge of our own inadequacies. If you have a terminal disease, then Jesus Todd commands us to go make disciples! Yes, as you lie in your death bed suffering from the effects of chemo and terminal cancer, you MUST get out and GO! That is the only solution to your illness. Will God heal you as you go! Most likely not as He has better things to do if you do not Go and make disciples.


The Difference Between Sheep and Goats | eHow.com

April 30, 2011

Picture source
The link below shows how someone can tell the difference between sheep and goats. The ODMafia outdoes Rob Bell in sermon illustrations.

The Difference Between Sheep & Goats | eHow.com.


Feeding Sheep or Entertaining Goats at Church Nurseries?

April 21, 2011

Mainstream evangelicalism is literally in the toilet or is that diaper pails to be more correct. Anyways recently our Research Robot Monkeys came upon some startling information concerning several Mainstream American Churches. This Revelation is so shocking… so blasphemous… We can only conclude it must be an abomination to God. Here is this abominable revelation in all of it’s worldly filth: several churches our Research Robot Monkeys have visited have decorated their nurseries with various children’s themes and are filled with worldly toys in an attempt to attract kids to Jesus. (Photo of one of these horrible Seeker-Sensitive Emergent Purpose-Driven nurseries included above).

How disgusted we are at this Seeker-Driven nonsense! Quote from one of these horrible false churches defending their foolishness: “Our nursery (decorated in a child-friendly motif) gives Pre-School members a reason to invite their friends to church. That is what Christ’s Family Church is all about; reaching those toddlers and others who have become disenchanted with religion but are searching for a relationship with Jesus Christ.”

So… somehow, a flashy nursery is supposed to save sinful souls. Even one local newspaper for toddlers wrote an article titled, “Come for the Nursery, Stay for the Service.” We have moved from John the Baptist proclaiming truth in the wilderness, to using a hormone-induced and child-friendly designed nursery to lure kids to a building. While there is nothing wrong with a nifty and fun nursery, there is plenty wrong with using it to attract people to Jesus. We implore kids to come to the Savior, not come for the nursery. We promote Jesus, not the amenities. Church is for Christians, not curiosity seekers. We win them to the Lord, not by being hip. Evangelism is to be done by church members and nursery-workers, not the nursery itself.

As Spurgeon once said:

An evil is in the professed camp of the Lord, so gross in its impudence, that the most shortsighted Christian can hardly fail to notice it. During the past few years this evil has developed at an alarming rate. It has worked like leaven until the whole lump ferments! The devil has seldom done a more clever thing, than hinting to the Church that part of their mission is to provide entertainment for the people, with a view to winning them. From speaking out the gospel, the Church has gradually toned down her testimony, then winked at and excused the frivolities of the day. Then she tolerated them in her borders. Now she has adopted them under the plea of reaching the masses! My first contention is that providing amusement for the people is nowhere spoken of in the Scriptures as a function of the Church. If it is a Christian work why did not Christ speak of it? “Go into all the world and preach the gospel to every creature, and provide amusement for those who do not relish the gospel.” No such words, however, are to be found. Again, providing amusement is in direct antagonism to the teaching and life of Christ and all His apostles. What was the attitude of the apostolic Church to the world? “You are the salt of the world,” not the sugar candy; something the world will spit out, not swallow. Had Jesus introduced more of the bright and pleasant elements into His teaching, He would have been more popular. When “many of His disciples turned back and no longer followed Him,” I do not hear Him say, “Run after these people, Peter, and tell them we will have a different style of service tomorrow; something short and attractive with little preaching. We will have a pleasant evening for the people. Tell them they will be sure to enjoy it! Be quick, Peter, we must get the people somehow!” No! Jesus pitied sinners, sighed and wept over them, but never sought to amuse them! In vain will the epistles be searched to find any trace of the “gospel of amusement.” Anything approaching amusement is conspicuous by its absence. They had boundless confidence in the gospel and employed no other weapon. Lastly, amusement fails to effect the end desired. Let the heavy laden who found peace through the concert not keep silent! Let the drunkard to whom the dramatic entertainment had been God’s link in the chain of their conversion, stand up! There are none to answer! The mission of amusement produces no converts! The need of the hour for today’s ministry is earnest spirituality joined with Biblical doctrine, so understood and felt, that it sets men on fire.

From all of those churches that have Emergent Seeker-Driven nurseries we can conclude that:

  • 1. Many Evangelicals no longer believe that Scripture is sufficient. They need tools to enhance the Gospel to get regular attenders.
  • 2. They clearly have no idea what the Gospel is.



Todd Friel Slips Into Arminian Heresy

January 6, 2011

Let there be no misunderstanding at this point. The Arminian limits the atonement as certainly as does the Calvinist. The Calvinist limits the extent of it in that he says it does not apply to all persons…while the Arminian limits the power of it, for he says that in itself it does not actually save anybody. The Calvinist limits it quantitatively, but not qualitatively; the Arminian limits it qualitatively, but not quantitatively. For the Calvinist it is like a narrow bridge that goes all the way across the stream; for the Arminian it is like a great wide bridge that goes only half-way across. As a matter of fact, the Arminian places more severe limitations on the work of Christ than does the Calvinist. (Lorraine Boettner, The Reformed Doctrine of Predestination (Phillipsburg, New Jersey: Presbyterian and Reformed Publishing Company, 1932) p. 153.)

Typical Arminianist semi-Pelagian heretic: “Jesus died for the sins of the world.”

True Bible-Believer: “No He didn’t. Jesus died for the Elect and the sins of the Elect only.” (John 3:16; John 1:29)

Around a minute and fifty-eight seconds into the video clip above, Todd made a blasphemous error—he commited Roman Arminian and  Popish idolatries by saying that: “Jesus shed His blood for forgiveness of the sins of the world.” Therefore Todd has just denied the Atonement—which is very dangerous ground to be on. Perhaps Todd has read one too many books by that false teacher, arch-heretic and anti-Christ Brian McLaren against Ken Silva’s clear teachings. Todd you have just been exposed as a Arminianist semi-Pelagian heretic—although we suspect Todd is really secretly a Crypto-Lutheran trying to pollute our Pure Doctrines.


Black-n-White-o-poly!!!

December 7, 2010

Introducing the all new  

the fun new Bible-based game for Discernmentalist families to practice their pretzel-logic skills.

A sample logic puzzle from our game:

According to the Bible, God not only knows the future, (God is omniscient) but He has unchangeably ordained everything from the beginning, and He infallibly brings to pass all things according to His perfect plan. Also according to the Bible, Jesus is God but Jesus does not know the future nor the hour of the end of the world. Giving these facts Jesus is either:

a) a liar; not who the Bible says He is;

b)  God does not know (all of) the future, He takes risks, learns lessons, makes mistakes and changes His mind (Open Theism);

c) of course, Jesus is God—THE BIBLE is Inerrantly clear!;

or d) a black & white answer that doesn’t satisfactorily answer this question.

The answer of course is d. Thank you for playing Black-n-White-o-poly!!!


The Heart Of The Discernmentalist Gospel

November 2, 2010

Most of you are going to hell because you were not specially chosen and frozen like We God’s Truth Biblical Elect (Calvinazis) are—so quake now in mortal fear and terror at the horrors that await ye, reprobates, especially if you are Roman Catholic, Arminian, a Pentecostal tongue-babbler, Emergent, queer or even worse all of the above:

P.S. Hell is a “real place” so We’d hate to be all of you reprobates (non-Calvinazis) on the day that you die so remember We tried to lovingly warn you by the Absolute Truth of our Pure Doctrines which have saved Us from an eternity in flames.

P. P. S. This is also warning to Pastorboy aka (Name withheld upon request) to get back in line with our Pure Doctrines.


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