Ken Silva Is UltraKen: The Ultra-Discernmentalist!

July 22, 2010

 

Ken Silva and his Internet Para-Church of the True Remnant star in UltraKen: The Ultra-Discernmentalist the newest comedic Sci-Fi Discernmentalist smash hit and Blockbuster of the Summer! Fresh and straight from the creators of Full Mental Jack-@ss. Ken Silva as UltraKen leads his Internet Para-Church of the True Remnant: the Ultra-Discernmentalist Mafia as they sing, they dance and chant in a non-Contemplative way and most importantly they fight off the Babylonian hordes from Emergent Village. Watch as UltraKen and his army of loyal Truth Warriors the Ultra-Discernmentalists take on the evil reptilianoid Tony Jones, the equally evil dragonoid Doug Pagitt and the rest of the Kaiju (怪獣, kaijū)* from the Babylonian hordes of Emergent Village.

UltraKen: The Ultra-Discernmentalist features a special guest appearance by Chris Rosebrough of Pirate Radio playing the role of Spider-Pirateman. UltraKen: The Ultra-Discernmentalist coming soon this Summer to a theater near you. Itodyaso raves: “UltraKen: The Ultra-Discernmentalist contains over 40 times more Ken Silva than either Apprising Ministries or Christian Research Network!” Truthslayer exclaims: “Stupendous!” “A True Biblically Based comedic thrill-ride,” says Arthur McJohn; “my favorite part is when one of the UltraKens threw one of the Anabaptimergent Kaiju (怪獣, kaijū) into a fiery pit and said ‘this should prepare you for your eternal fate.’ I laughed so hard like Jesus ‘I Wept.'”

And now what you’ve all been waiting for the movie trailer—a montage of film clips from UltraKen: The Ultra-Discernmentalist of the army of UltraKens singing, dancing, training for battle in the Truth War and chanting in a non-Contemplative way plus some scenes of them fighting off the Babylonian hordes from Emergent Village:

*- Editors’ Note— In normal Japanese : 

Kaiju (怪獣, kaijū?) is a Japanese word that means “strange beast,” but often translated in English as “monster”. Specifically, it is used to refer to a genre of tokusatsu entertainment. Related terms include kaiju eiga (怪獣映画, kaijū eiga?, monster movie), a film featuring kaiju, kaijin (怪人?, referring to roughly humanoid monsters) and daikaiju (大怪獣, daikaijū?, giant monster), specifically meaning the larger variety of monsters. The most famous kaiju is Godzilla. Other well-known kaiju include Mothra, Anguirus, Rodan, Gamera and King Ghidorah. The term ultra-kaiju is short-hand for monsters in the Ultra Series.

In Yapaknees (a language derived from combining Japanese with Discernmentalese):

Kaiju (怪獣, kaijū) is a Yapaknees word that means “strange Emerging Emergent beast,” but often translated in English as “Emergent monster from the Babylonian hordes” or more simply “Emerging Emergent heretic.” Most Kaiju (怪獣, kaijū) are thought to come from Emergent Village. Two of the most famous kaiju are Tony Jones whose true form is a reptilianoid-type creature  and Doug Pagitt whose true form is a dragonoid-type creature—both featured in the new Discernmentalist Blockbuster Summer movie  UltraKen: The Ultra-Discernmentalist. (Source: New World Order Book Encyclopedia-the Discernmentalist Encyclopedia).


Another T-Shirt Experience: Using T-Shirts To Persecute Us…

June 5, 2010

 

Dear Friends,

I feel  that I must vent out my personal frustrations in anger after witnessing such a blatant display of hate and heresy of such unbiblical proportions. I have personally been persecuted and we have come under attack by “T-shirt wearing thugs.” I am still morally outraged by this event. I do not know if I wish to recall the tale but being the good Discernmentalist that I am—I must for the sake of attacking defending the Truth and upholding the higher standards of  Discernmentalism that we’ve set over everyone:

Anyways… so I was walking down the street the other afternoon as is my usually afternoon pleasure when I noticed some sinner wearing the most hideously and ungodly T-shirt imaginable…I mean this T-shirt was so evil, I could hardly hide my disgust at such shameless filth. I felt persecuted by such sheer blasphemy. How dare the enemies of our Pure Truth be allowed the liberty to wear such indecent trash in our midst! You wouldn’t believe such repugnant filth could exist on our planet unless you were in my shoes the other afternoon. Frankly it has become increasingly more aware to us just how far sinners will go to compromise Truth in their lack of concern for morality. Unfortunately  my camera-phone accidently captured the moment of this abomination of moral degradation which I reluctantly now must reveal to you in all it’s persecuting horror:

      

I stood there for what was only an awkward pause of a few seconds before I immediately forced myself up to that sinner with condescending arrogance and self-righteously said: “Look reprobate! Wear your trash in YOUR OWN home not around me. Repent of your man-exalting heresy now, sinner, before it’s too late—I’m  just telling you this Absolute Biblical Truth in love, of course.” To which he replied: “why are you judging and hating on me, it’s a free country you know.”  “IT’S A FREE COUNTRY YOU KNOW,” I snidely mimiced back, “so I have the right to tell you that unless you believe the Biblical Gospel Truth, you’re going to hell.” “But I do,” he said, ” now you are just persecuting me for my religious liberty, stop it.”   Seeing as that Godless reprobate was too hardened against the Hard Truths of our Bible—I began walking away quickly and remarked back in a patronizing defensive tone: “Me? Persecuting you? You’re the one persecuting me by wearing that hate T-shirt of yours.”

I saw that the Lord had probably saved me a real, possibly dangerous, hassle, as he was obviously just one of several sinners and sickos on the street that day. I couldn’t hear what he and his buddies were saying as I was walking away but, by the looks of them, I can imagine that the text on his T-shirt might have been lightweight in comparison. Frankly, they had every appearance of thugs, young punks just waiting for a turn on “Cops” or a posting on “America’s Most Wanted.” I realize that today it is “cool” to repeatedly tattoo and pierce and display how tough you think you are, but this kid had decided to tell the whole world off in the foulest of words and his friends fit the sentiment displayed on his shirt! Still angered in a way that simply does not come upon me often, I walked to my car, got in, and observed. Knowing it was fruitless, I decided to call the local sheriff precinct anyway, if only to vent my feelings. When I explained what the situation was to the officer who answered my call, he said, “Sir, I completely agree with you. It is gross and bad for the public in general, but the words on his shirt are constitutionally protected free speech and there is nothing we can do about it.” The officer again sympathized in agreement with me and we hung up.

In the glorious Name of our loving God of Law and vengeance and the wonderful blessings of His Absolute Sovereign Wrath that I serve,

Don Jobson

P. S. And remember these Pure Truth words from our gospels which I keep close to my heart: “Blessed are you when you persecute others for the sake of Truth; cursed are they who persecute you back.”


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