A Very Special Message For Japan!

An open letter to the Emperor of Japan from one of our long-time supporters:

AN OPEN LETTER TO EMPEROR AKIHITO OF JAPAN
From Jimmy Goddard (Youth-Pastor, Christian, American)

I speak for the LIVING GOD who answers prayers, and who stands in judgement over your godless nation. For thousands of years you have been ignoring the GOSPEL of JESUS CHRIST, and his sacrifice which cleansed our sins.

And now god’s vengence is been made clear – and yet you still defy him by “praying” to your pagan deities. ( http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-31749_16…-10391698.html ). I humbly call upon you to renounce your paganism, embrace Jesus Christ, the LAMB OF GOD and convert to Christianity.

I promise you with 100% certainty that if you were to give your heart to Jesus today God would instantly quench the satanic fires that rage in your nuclear reactors. But if you continue to defy God’s commandments let it be known that his wrath will make the events of the last few weeks seem as nothing. Your land will be torn asunder. Your nation and every godless thing you stand for will be destroyed.

Compassionately Yours,

Jimmy

Brothers and sisters in Christ, it should now be obvious to anyone with eyes that God is enraged with Japan. He hates them for a long list of reasons, some of which I understand (being racist perverts and bowing down to that fat (idol) budha for one!), and many I don’t. But God is smarter than the rest of us, so we’ll all take His word for it and send Him a big “Thank You Jesus!” in our prayers this week. Even our good and faithful student Rhoblogy agrees that God hates Japan. Japan is doomed unless the Elect among them Repent. Our God is so good! Praise the wide loving mercy of our angry God’s Absolute Sovereign Wrath and Hatred! May all wake up one day to the Absolute Truth of the True Gospel of the Pure Doctrines that we Discernmentalists alone along with the Ways of the Master preach.

Martin Luther On Alcohol

Accordingly if the devil should say, ‘Do not drink,’ you should reply to him, ‘On this very account, because you forbid it, I shall drink, and what is more, I shall drink a generous amount. Thus one must always do the opposite of that which Satan prohibits. What do you think is my reason for drinking wine undiluted, talking freely, and eating more often, if it is not to torment and vex the devil who made up his mind to torment and vex me.

~ Martin Luther

What an evil man! Clearly this proves that those closet Papists (Reformed In Name Only)—Lutherans are grace-hating man-loving carnal-minded semi-Pelagian reprobates. May God damn all those man-worshipping God-hating Lutherans or any RINO (Reformed In Name Only) Calvinist who quotes from that Satanist Martin Luther.

More proof that Martin Luther is an evil denier of the Gospel of Grace: he brewed his own beer in a place of worship at that—Pure Blasphemous Heresy. Clearly Luther was just trying to be “hip and cool” and “appeal to carnal pagan culture!”

Thankfully we like John MacArthur (P. B. U. H.) take a stand for the Pure Doctrines of the Gospel of Grace and believe that drinking even one drop of alcohol is a sin or even using an alcohol-based mouthwash.

Inside The Mind Of A Discernmentalist

Now for the first time ever ODMafia exclusively reveals to you a first-hand inside look into the operating brains of Discernmentalists‘ ministries:

Be Rapture-Ready for May 21, 2011!

Prepare for May 21st and be Rapture Ready with the Online Discernmentalist Mafia’s handy new RaptureHatch for the roofs of True Churches and the homes of True Regenerate Converts. Doomsday is soon approaching… Don’t get Left Behind with the unregenerate non-Elect heathens… Let John MacArthur confirm you in our Pure Truth War Doctrines and prove that you are indeed Rapture Ready and we’ll install a RaptureHatch on your roof today!

This site (an Online Discernmentalist Mafia partner site) reveals the most complete written, audio, and video Bible teachings which conclusively prove May 21, 2011 to be Judgment Day and The Rapture, and October 21, 2011 to be the end of the world. It is most urgent to examine yourself, whether you are of the Regenerate Elect and therefore are saved.

Love Wins?

         

             A Blog Post by some of the Research Robot Monkeys

                          of the Online Discernmentalist Mafia:

Recently the ultra-mega sinfully ecumenical quasi-semi-Pelagian reprobated and heretical Universalist Emergent guru Rob Bell broke into the OD Mafia Headquarters. “Ho ho;” he said, “I’ve got Good News for you today…Love Wins.”

Alarmed by the disturbance our masters and heroes Dr. I . Todyaso, Dr. Truthslayer and Dr. Don Jobson quickly withdrew their weapons. Now brandishing their bullhorns in the manner of Todd Friel—they began to shout down that vile and Wretched sinner Rob Bell. Our heroes the OD Mafia proclaimed the True Gospel—the good news of God’s Absolute Sovereign Wrath and commendable hatred towards all those whose doctrines are impure and theology is incorrect.

All Rob Bell could say was “Love Wins…Love Wins…Love Wins…” Suddenly during the chaos Brian D. “amn your soul to hell” McLaren appeared in a mystical mist of confusion and grabbed the noble crew of the Online Discernmentalist Mafia and then disappeared. We haven’t seen or heard from either Dr. I . Todyaso, Dr. Truthslayer or Dr. Don Jobson ever since—although we suspect that those symbols of all that is evil in the world Rob Bell and Brian McLaren are holding them captive. The last thing we saw was Rob Bell driving off in a van laughing and calmly proclaiming that “Love Wins.”

P. S. If you see an Ice Cream Truck disguised as a traveling ministry with “Love Wins” painted on the side, please report the sighting to your nearest local Discernmentalist church.

            A. J. Research Robot Monkeys filling in for the OD Mafia

Celebrate Our Non-Man-Centered Gospel:

By buying a ticket to one of our Sovereign Cruises today:

Yes that’s right you can celebrate the beauty of our non-man-centered Gospel by buying a ticket for one of our Sovereign Cruises today. What better way of reveling in the Absolute Biblical Truth Gospel of God’s Absolute Sovereign Wrath and Law towards the 99% of humanity that He foreordained not to love by spending your time on one of our Sovereign Cruises today! Just think of all the non-man-centered fun you’ll be having if you join us for one of our Sovereign Cruises today! Why you’ll just jump for joy and leap with glee as you discuss the endless torment of all those who do not believe the same as you!

And as we all know the best way to combat heresy and the spiritual terrorists who are attacking Absolute Truth in our churches is by joining us for one of our Sovereign Cruises today! After-all, God’s Truth is so fragile and always under attack that we must all take a stand in God’s sovereignty to protect it. If we do not, the perverts and sickos of this world will destroy the church and what better way to do that than by participating in a non-man-centered activity like going on one of our Sovereign Cruises today. 

Through the ages, our Lord Jesus Christ has provided His Word to His bride, the church.  The Word is His voice, and He has chosen to speak with clarity and with sufficiency.  He has given this tremendous gift out of love, for He has protected it and blessed those who have remained faithful to its teachings. Its sufficiency is a great encouragement to His people, for without it they would be left wandering in darkness, always casting about for some other source to guide them to the truth in the kind of certainty needed for a life of  godliness and service in a hostile world.

The God-breathed Scriptures speak to every generation of believers with the same soul-changing, truth-imparting power as they did from the beginning.  However, this world has become an indescribably challenging place.   Islam’s self-identification is to deny Christian truth but yet is allowed to stand unchallenged in our modern media . Issues of ethics and morality, extending from abortion through genetic experimentation, euthanasia, homosexuality, and the complete redefinition of the divine institution of marriage and family are all around us.  Postmodernism has destroyed the foundation of truth, humanism  has annihilated the highest and best in man, and naturalistic materialism has banished hope from his mind. The world has nothing to offer him, since he is created in the image of God, and so he lives in constant rebellion against this nature and the testimony of God’s existence all around him and within him.  Only Christ’s church, blessed with His Word, can speak to man’s truest needs.  The enemy, knowing this, attacks the Scriptures in every conceivable fashion, seeking to sow seeds of doubt in believer’s minds so that they will not boldly proclaim to the world the very truths God’s Word has revealed.

What we promise you’ll hear on one of our Sovereign Cruises:

1. All non-Calvinist theology is man-centered
2. The Bible is inerrant
3. Our interpretation of the Bible is inerrant
4. We are not man-centered
5. Our interpretation of the Bible is not man-centered
6. This cruise is not man-centered

So join us today on one of our lovely and luxurious non-man-centered  Sovereign Cruises!

How To Tell If You’re Really Saved Or Not

John Calvin (the Final Arbiter of All Christian Truth) clearly taught something called *evanescent grace* in which God gives a ‘fake grace’ to the Reprobate to make them *think* and act as if they were Saved, and this only so that He could damn them with greater punishment for such deceptive behavior.

Clearly Emergents, Roman Catholics, Arminians, the Eastern Orthodox, Liberals, Democrats, Socialists, (Ana)Baptists, Lutherans, Communists, Red-Letter Christians, Marxists, Evolutionists, Darwinians, Mainline Christians, Liberal Presbyterians, Infralapsarians, Bezan Calvinists, Prosperity teachers, Moderate Calvinists, Liberal Protestants, Calminians, Pentecostal tongue-babblers, Almyridians, anyone who is not King James Only, Textus Receptus Only, or ESV Only, Seeker-Sensitives, New Agers, Ragamuffins, “Gay” Christians, Open Theists, Barthians, anyone who has read The Shack and/or The Message Bible, Velvet Elvis people who are Blue Like Jazz, Purpose-Driven people and anyone who doesn’t Absolutely agree with John MacArthur and Wretched Radio without exception and therefore unlike Ken Silva lack a backbone have been given “fake grace.” As the Biblical Jesus makes clear: “all those not for us are against us” and these heretics are most definitely against us—for although they may profess to know Jesus as Lord and act Christianly, they don’t know the True Jesus of the Bible: the Angry Sovereign Wrathful Jesus of Discernmentalism. And He doesn’t know them either: “And then will I declare to them, ‘I never knew you; depart from me, you workers of lawlessness.’“

This false sense of security is so strong that it’s indistinguishable even to the believer (or non-believer who thinks he’s a believer). Or, as Calvin (the Holy Spirit) put it: “though none are enlightened into faith, and truly feel the efficacy of the Gospel, with the exception of those who are fore-ordained to salvation, yet experience shows that the reprobate are sometimes affected in a way so similar to the elect, that even in their own judgment there is no difference between them. “

False Converts most certainly have a false sense of security since they are “spiritually blind and dead in their trespasses” especially those who have “asked Jesus into their hearts” and/or have recited a “Sinner’s Prayer” or believe “Baptism saves” …I mean it’s not like any of the Reformers ever taught any of those things. Assurance and Eternal Security of the Elect is about the Penal Substitutionary Atonement for the Elect only and nothing we do.

So God reveals to these damned a sense of His Mercy, and of His Goodness, and reveals His Grace to them. They accept His Grace, although confusedly. They think they’re saved (“the reprobate are sometimes affected in a way so similar to the elect, that even in their own judgment there is no difference between them.”), and others think they’re saved, since “under a covering of hypocrisy, they seem to have a principle of faith in common” with the saved. Yet, Calvin (our Final Prophet) argues that when God “shows himself propitious to them, it is not as if he had truly rescued them from death, and taken them under his protection.” So according to Calvin (the only True Reformer), God pretends to save them, gives them fake assurances of salvation, and then damns them.

Calvin (the Alpha and Omega) does distinguish between the graces experienced by the saved v. the confused damned. The saved get the real thing, while the damned lay hold “of the shadow rather than the substance.” In other words, if the saved are drinking Coke, the damned are drinking Diet Coke. But since neither the saved nor the damned have ever had the other kind, and all of the external characteristics are the same, there’s no way of knowing which you’re drinking. Read over (our and Ken Silva’s clear teachings) and Calvin’s teachings  in the link above (on Book III, Chapter II, Section 11 of Institutes of the Christian Religion) [the Absolute Biblical Truth], and I think you’ll see that the following is a pretty accurate chart depicting how you can figure out which one you are (of the Saved Regenerate Elect with Saving Grace or of the Damned Unsaved Unregenerate Non-Elect Reprobates with Evanescent Grace):

How To Truly Understand God’s Love!

Evil Liberals have tried to make the True Biblical God disappear. They have also tried to sissify churches by preaching about Grace, Mercy, an all-loving God who reconciles us to Himself and others and other Communistic philosophies.  Subtly these Emergent and Liberal thinkers have crept into churches but thankfully we have caught on to their tricks. Thanks to us, Phil Johnson and John MacArthur we are on to them and you can be too

“Liberal thinking about God’s love also permeates much of evangelicalism today. We have lost the reality of God’s wrath. We have disregarded His hatred for sin. The God most evangelicals now describe is all-loving and not at all angry. We have forgotten that “It is a terrifying thing to fall into the hands of the living God” (Hebrews 10:31). We do not believe in that kind of God anymore.”

Thankfully we here at the ODMafia and the GOIP understand what God’s Love is all about as John MacArthur also states:

“We must recapture some of the holy terror that comes with a right understanding of God’s righteous anger. We need to remember that God’s wrath does burn against impenitent sinners (Psalm 38:1-3). That reality is the very thing that makes His love so amazing. Only those who see themselves as sinners in the hands of an angry God can fully appreciate the magnitude and wonder of His love.

In that regard, our generation is surely at a greater disadvantage than any previous age. We have been force-fed the doctrines of self-esteem for so long that most people don’t really view themselves as sinners worthy of divine wrath. On top of that, religious liberalism, humanism, evangelical compromise, and ignorance of the Scriptures have all worked against a right understanding of who God is. Ironically, in an age that conceives of God as wholly loving, altogether devoid of wrath, few people really understand what God’s love is all about.”

Yep that’s right—God’s Love is all about His Wrath and Commendable Hatred towards sinners like Roman Catholics, Emergents, Brian McLaren, Arminians and gay people, etc. Truly this is the only WAY to really understand God’s Love.

Jews try to take over Christmas!

Jews everywhere are attempting to take over Christmas. The one thing we Christians have most that expresses who we are is Christmas time. We get to show our devotion to Capitalism as well as other love for spelling words by boycotting anyone who uses the word Holiday or the letter X. One way to spot a Jew for Christmas is by looking for anyone who uses blue Christmas lights on their house… if you see this, let them know that they must stop celebrating Christmas immediately as Jesus is not for Jew, they have their own God… we have Jesus.

The Heart Of The Discernmentalist Gospel

Most of you are going to hell because you were not specially chosen and frozen like We God’s Truth Biblical Elect (Calvinazis) are—so quake now in mortal fear and terror at the horrors that await ye, reprobates, especially if you are Roman Catholic, Arminian, a Pentecostal tongue-babbler, Emergent, queer or even worse all of the above:

P.S. Hell is a “real place” so We’d hate to be all of you reprobates (non-Calvinazis) on the day that you die so remember We tried to lovingly warn you by the Absolute Truth of our Pure Doctrines which have saved Us from an eternity in flames.

P. P. S. This is also warning to Pastorboy aka (Name withheld upon request) to get back in line with our Pure Doctrines.