They developed these techn0logies with one single purpose in mind: to liquidate those evil grace-hating man-loving free-will worshiping Pelagian Popish-Pagans: the Armenians. Since long time true believers in the Only True and Correct Doctrines of Grace aka TULIP have been trying to rid the world of the imputent plague known as Armenianism.
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We bought several copies of this classic masterwork and are now halfway through with building our own Nuclear Power-plant and several Doomsday Death Devices and other Weapons of “Papalist” Mass Destruction to aid our fellow Discernmentalists in our 2012 Doomsday/Armageddon Plans; to help power-up our Rapture machines and to help us to profit off of all the non-elect unregenerate reprobate Postmodern emergent heathens and other unsaved pagans Left Behind; and also to help us to destroy the Semi-Pelagees (Armenianists and Romanists) once and for all!
Jack Chick our most intelligent and sane researchmentalist also warns that agents of the Vatican have even infiltrated Protestant churches in order to attack the True Bible and pervert our Pure Doctrine. Remember also these instructions from our Holy Prophet (P. B. U. H.):
The Reformation doctrine of justification by faith is, and has always been, the number one target of the enemy’s attack. It provides the foundation of the bridge that reconciles God and man – without that key doctrine, Christianity falls. But the doctrine the Reformers so painstakingly clarified, even spilled blood over, has become so muddled today that many Protestants barely recognize it.
Sadly, there are some who react against a clear presentation of justification, calling it nothing more than useless hair-splitting. Some evangelical reactions to Protestant doctrine are even more severe. Recently, popular talk-show host, Marty Minto, was fired by evangelical station management for discussions he was having on his daily radio program. His crime? In response to callers, he was applying a traditional Protestant perspective to the teachings of John Paul II and the Roman Catholic Church.
AN OPEN LETTER TO EMPEROR AKIHITO OF JAPAN
From Jimmy Goddard (Youth-Pastor, Christian, American)
I speak for the LIVING GOD who answers prayers, and who stands in judgement over your godless nation. For thousands of years you have been ignoring the GOSPEL of JESUS CHRIST, and his sacrifice which cleansed our sins.
And now god’s vengence is been made clear – and yet you still defy him by “praying” to your pagan deities. ( http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-31749_16…-10391698.html ). I humbly call upon you to renounce your paganism, embrace Jesus Christ, the LAMB OF GOD and convert to Christianity.
I promise you with 100% certainty that if you were to give your heart to Jesus today God would instantly quench the satanic fires that rage in your nuclear reactors. But if you continue to defy God’s commandments let it be known that his wrath will make the events of the last few weeks seem as nothing. Your land will be torn asunder. Your nation and every godless thing you stand for will be destroyed.
We are greatly concerned here for many reasons. First of all why would any Godly woman ever read the Bible—an oxymoron of terms—for as the Apostle Paul proclaimed: “Let the woman learn in silence with all subjection.” Secondly, we must Absolutely forbid women reading the Bible under any circumstances just in case she slips up and reads a passage of Scripture aloud… in front of men and women… say like Romans 1:18-32 and therefore ‘usurps authority over man’ by preaching the Gospel to them.
If women want to know what the Bible says, they should find a man whose feet they can sit under and ‘learn in quiet submission’… especially if that man is the greatest Man of God in our Age of uncertainty, John MacArthur (P. B. U. H). Thirdly, we mustn’t ever let any woman share the Gospel as that leads to the slippery-slope of female Pastors preaching the Gospel and as we all know preaching/sharing the Gospel is a Divinely mandated role for males only. However, Trish wrongly states:
One of the greatest signs of being born again is to have the desire/boldness to speak the Word of God and to tell others about his glorious gospel (Acts 4:31). A biblical woman is a woman that shares the good news of the Gospel with her family members, her children and the lost in general. There is no distinction. You can’t be a biblical woman and not talk about the Gospel. The Gospel is at the very center of a biblical woman.
This supports that slippery-slope. What’s next? Women prophesying* in churches? Women leading in prayer? Women becoming Ruling Elders? Heaven forbid that—this is what the Ways of the Master of the Truth War himself teaches and so should we. Remember “There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus. Go into all the world and preach the gospel to all creation.” This is why we should never ever under any circumstances let a woman preach, speak or even share the Gospel… let alone Pastor a church. I hope this clears up where we all must stand in the Absolute Sovereignty of the Angry God of our Doctrine and His Holy Wrath.
What would John MacArthur (P. B. U. H.) do if Jesus visited Grace Community Church? Why point his self-righteous finger of condemnation and judgment at that smug Roman Mystical Liberal Fascist Wine-Drinking Tree-Hugging Commie sinner, of course!
43Ye have heard that it hath been said, Thou shalt love thy neighbour, and hate thine enemy.
44But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you;
45That ye may be the children of your Father which is in heaven: for he maketh his sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sendeth rain on the just and on the unjust.
46For if ye love them which love you, what reward have ye? do not even the publicans the same?
47And if ye salute your brethren only, what do ye more than others? do not even the publicans so?
48Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect.
You hear that Jesus talked about love. Love means pleasure and pleasure leads to sinful activities of the flesh—clearly Jesus was into Pornographic Divination. These are just two in a list of many offenses of Jesus that warrant John MacArthur (P. B. U. H.)’s self-Righteous finger of condemnation—so bow to our Glorious Elder’s Holy Finger of Judgment and keep spreading the fear and hate of all things Emergent and Young Restless & Reformed.
Talk about humanistic arrogance and pride! Porn-Surfer not only seems to be all about lust but also promotes a man-centered; God-hating; ear-tickling; grace-hating man-loving Semi-Pelagian Arminianist worldview. (And we all know where the heresy of Arminianism came from as it was the false gospel of Satan from the Garden as Arminianism is the root of all evil—not only that Arminianism leads back to it’s equally heretical forerunner: Romanism and Popery)! An example of the Arminianist bent of this movie is how Bethany’s “passion for surfing” supercedes her need for a Savior such as how she always fulfills the selfish desires of her sinful flesh first before even giving a thought to pleasing her Absolute Sovereign Savior.
The Triablogue method: the only Master Debating method backed by Discernmentalists and to earn a %100 approval rating from Ken Silva! Win any argument or debate by shutting down your opponents in a matter of minutes. All you need is the handy steps of our Master Debating method and you’ll become a pro. Take it from us as we’ve won all of our debates with our skills of circular reasoning, mischaracterizations of our opponents and their beliefs, stroking our own egos, twisted pretzel logic and twisting Scriptures out of and far beyond their intended contexts, name-calling, judgmentalism, emotional tirades, etc.
So remember the Triablogue method for all your Master Discernmentalist Debating needs!
7th Sola agrees and has stated: “Jesus is coming again. I personally believe the time is soon. But when He does return, it won’t be by Harold Camping’s timetable or anyone else’s. That date and time has been determined by God alone.” We are just shocked that anyone would dare slander MacArthur’s infallible Rapture Truth like that—if MacArthur bids Jesus to imminently return to spread His Venegance and Wrath—Jesus will return soon. Puritan Board has even gone so far as to declare:
Setting-aside all our differences – at least MacArthur is truly defending the Gospel! Warren has a decidedly enthusiastic bent on dismantling the very locus where the Gospel is to be dispensed from: the church. (HaroldCamping has nothing on Warren.) All the Modern Reformation boys are long over-due in speaking out against Warren specifically. One wonders why….John MacArthur may be dispie but at least he defends the gospel. Last time I checked Macarthur wasnt a VanImpe or tele-evangelist trying to make a busk on tv. If youve seen him on tv he is far more respectable and Christian then the other softies.—Blade
Robin, You need to be very careful here and provide specifics. HaroldCamping has made very specific heretical statements that have been very specifically repudiated by teachers in Christ’s Church. While I have no hunger for Warren’s materials, he is no where near in the league of arch-heretics Camping and Wimber (both of whom have claimed “prophetic” status in pushing their new doctrine). I know it is good sport here to bash Warren, but I won’t have either Warren or MacArthur compared to such heretics without specific citations from the man to that effect.
- Gene Simmons of the Rock Band Kiss holds a copy of Rob Bell’s “Love Wins”
We have the scoop here before any other Discernmentalist blog on the Internet including the great and all powerful Ken Silva. Gene Simmons quote: “If you go back and check all the reviews for all the icons of today — Elvis, the Beatles and so on — they were dismissed as flashes in the pans, this is why I support Rob Bell.” Of course that unregenerate reprobate would support Rob Bell as he also is blind to the Hard Truths of the Bible. Gene is on record as calling himself Dr. Love which is proof he believes Love Wins—-also he thinks he is the god of thunder… Blasphemous!
Unfortunately, if you disagree with Bell, you’re “toxic and misguided.”
Criticizing him makes you a “Pharisee,” according to Eugene Peterson.
A commenter on the above-linked page asks the critics, “Why are you so anxious to make sure there are people in hell? The fact that you NEED Bell to be wrong and have people in hell communicates much more about yourself than either Bell or God.”
No Bible-believing Christian wants people in hell, because that isn’t what God wants.
“Do you think, asks the Sovereign Lord, that I like to see wicked people die? Of course not! I only want them to turn from their wicked ways and live.” -Ezekiel 18:23
The reason that we need to be clear about the eternal consequences of denying Christ, which are real and revealed by the Scriptures, is because that’s what is at stake.
Jesus did not die a criminal’s death and rise from the grave so that we could all feel good about ourselves, have a nice life, drive fast cars, and be rich.
Jesus did not become a man so that his sacrifice could save the world from his bipolar father.
Jesus did what he did to save our souls (from the “Real Place” that is Hell).
That is the real story. That is the real truth.
Before you get all bent out of shape, please realize this is a satire site spoofing the so-called "discernment ministries" who deem themselves more worthy of Grace than the rest of us. So read and have fun! BTW, we are not against "good" discernment ministries that do actual real research and extend grace to others, only the bad ones.