Be Rapture-Ready for May 21, 2011!

May 17, 2011

Prepare for May 21st and be Rapture Ready with the Online Discernmentalist Mafia’s handy new RaptureHatch for the roofs of True Churches and the homes of True Regenerate Converts. Doomsday is soon approaching… Don’t get Left Behind with the unregenerate non-Elect heathens… Let John MacArthur confirm you in our Pure Truth War Doctrines and prove that you are indeed Rapture Ready and we’ll install a RaptureHatch on your roof today!

This site (an Online Discernmentalist Mafia partner site) reveals the most complete written, audio, and video Bible teachings which conclusively prove May 21, 2011 to be Judgment Day and The Rapture, and October 21, 2011 to be the end of the world. It is most urgent to examine yourself, whether you are of the Regenerate Elect and therefore are saved.


Help Us Fight The Red Menace!

January 12, 2010

Dear Dr. Jobson,

I want to know how I can help fight the Red Menace. I am sick of all these Red-Letter Christians trying to force me into charitable causes and handing over my hard-earned money that I worked for myself to help them alleviate poverty. I believe as the Bible plainly teaches that if the poor lazy bums of the world were intended to have money that God would have predestined them to be Elect, rich and Republican from the foundation of the world. Afterall, John 12:8 states: “For the poor always ye have with you.”

Sincerely,

Rich White Scrooge, born Elect Republican.

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Dear Mr. Scrooge,

You are Absolutely Right—Red-Letter Christians are a menace to society. The nerve of some Christians exalting Jesus above Paul’s words as the  late GOIP  Discernmentalist Dr. D. James Kennedy use to say: “Christianity is not based on the teachings of Jesus.” We suggest that you help us Truth Warriors out by buying Jan Markell‘s “Truth Dollars” to aid in the fight against the Red Menace. Each “Truth Dollar” helps to support impoverished Truth Warriors on the front-line by equipping them with Absolute Truth facts from Eric Barger’s ONE OF EVERYTHING DISCERNMENTALIST SPECIAL! We hope that we have your support in helping our cause for the non-Jesus centered teaching of Reaganism and the Gospel of God’s wrath against the poor.

Sincerely,

Dr. Don Jobson, swindling, stealing, rallying for the cause of  Absolute Truth.


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