Emerging Church Tied To Horrible Plane Crash…

September 22, 2011

This just goes to show just how far the Emerging Church will go to justify their ungodly rebellion against the Only True and Correct Doctrines.

New raw footage of last Friday’s deadly air show crash in Reno shows the doomed plane nosediving and exploding on audience.

Watch: Crowd screams ‘Oh my God’

In related news: The Emerging Church has also been tied to a brutally fatal shark attack. We have evidence just read this: “We saw the shark’s nose emerge and then the man just vanished. It was very sudden, then the animal just swam off. ” That’s just how sinisterly vile and disgusting these Emergent types are in their corruption of Pure Doctrine… They violently try to fight the Truth of Orthodoxy by leading people astray into apostasy. This is why we must fight this Truth War to protect God’s Truth from those infected by the Emerging Church disease.

All my researchmentalism on this subject has been “well-researched” so you should just take my word as Absolute Truth and fact. In fact, you all should thank God for this site and sites like the infallible Ken Silva’s CRN for our great and important research such as this article!  If you didn’t have us to Take A Stand on things such as this matter the Emerging hordes will destroy God’s Truth.


Counteract Brian McLaren’s New Book By Buying Ours Instead

January 27, 2010

Brian McLaren’s worthless book:

Our Book—Priceless:

Just like we were not happy with Brian McLaren’s book A Generous Orthodoxy….we are not happy with his new  book either….eventhough it is yet released….We Know it is full of heresy especially because we are a discernmentalist ministry and stand for true Absolute biblical truth. This is why we’ve gotten John MacArthur and Todd Friel to write our version of  his new book before it even comes out after using Eric Barger’s time machine to spot all the heresy in Brian’s book .

Also, you may have heard of this phrase from the Reformation: “Ecclesia reformata semper reformanda—The Church should be reformed and always reforming.” Well using Eric Barger’s time machine again—we’ve found that  none of the Reformers said that. This is why we must oppose Brian’s new book with a Holy Angry Passion as those Emergents are always trying to reform our Absolute Truth, our Pure Churches and our Pure Doctrines. We also believe that Reformed Emergent/Emerging House Churches do not exist. Reformed  and Emergent  are oxymorons as Ken Silva teaches therefore there are no such creatures as Reformed Emergents because Ken Silva is always right. This is always why we stand by our reformatted Reformation motto: “Semper 1600’s—Always 1600’s always”—that’s right because we’ve discovered all the Truth we need to know about God in the 1600’s. There is nothing else about God that needs to be revealed to us—the Reformers and the King James Bible revealed everything about God to us—so we must always stay in the 1600’s and think like they did in the 1600’s as well.

Dr. Don Jobson, Dr. Truthslayer and Dr. I. Todyaso—Sola 1600’s (1600’s alone).


A Discernmentalist Self-Explodes!

January 23, 2010

So one  of our GOIP Bot 3000s directed our attention to this Ken Silvaesque article:

January 22, 2010

Attacks on God from Within

Filed under: Emerging Church, God, Postmodernism — by Rebecca LuElla Miller @ 7:00 am
Tags: , , ,

Yesterday I mentioned subtle attacks on God (and just a reminder, by “attack” I am referring to that which contradicts or distorts the truth about God as He has revealed Himself in the Bible). From what I see, the subtle version is most prevalent from within the body of professing Christians.

Sadly, it would seem that some identifying with the emerging church, are falling into this category. I almost don’t know where to begin.

Self-described wannabe mystic and prophet Mike Morrell wrote an article, “Is God ‘A Recovering Practitioner of Violence’?” last November that illustrates the attack from the inside.

We were so impressed by the Ken Silvaesque tone of this article in defense of our Sovereign Truths that we began to think the author was the female clone of Ken Silva that is until our eyes were horrified by the name of the blog:

How dare the female Ken Silva call the Christian Worldview—the only Absolute Truth and Biblical Worldview—fiction! Fiction is unbiblical—this is nothing more than an atheistic like attack from within on our Sovereign Truths and our Worldview masquerading as true truth discernmentalism. Only atheists call Christianity fiction. Perhaps the real Ken Silva should call his female clone to repent and turn back to the True Gospel of God’s Wrath.

 

Don Jobson—standing in the Non-Fiction of our Absolute Sovereign Truths.


Help Us Fight The Red Menace!

January 12, 2010

Dear Dr. Jobson,

I want to know how I can help fight the Red Menace. I am sick of all these Red-Letter Christians trying to force me into charitable causes and handing over my hard-earned money that I worked for myself to help them alleviate poverty. I believe as the Bible plainly teaches that if the poor lazy bums of the world were intended to have money that God would have predestined them to be Elect, rich and Republican from the foundation of the world. Afterall, John 12:8 states: “For the poor always ye have with you.”

Sincerely,

Rich White Scrooge, born Elect Republican.

———————————————————————————————————

Dear Mr. Scrooge,

You are Absolutely Right—Red-Letter Christians are a menace to society. The nerve of some Christians exalting Jesus above Paul’s words as the  late GOIP  Discernmentalist Dr. D. James Kennedy use to say: “Christianity is not based on the teachings of Jesus.” We suggest that you help us Truth Warriors out by buying Jan Markell‘s “Truth Dollars” to aid in the fight against the Red Menace. Each “Truth Dollar” helps to support impoverished Truth Warriors on the front-line by equipping them with Absolute Truth facts from Eric Barger’s ONE OF EVERYTHING DISCERNMENTALIST SPECIAL! We hope that we have your support in helping our cause for the non-Jesus centered teaching of Reaganism and the Gospel of God’s wrath against the poor.

Sincerely,

Dr. Don Jobson, swindling, stealing, rallying for the cause of  Absolute Truth.


Liberals Persecute Reagan’s Grandson

January 11, 2010

Cameron Reagan, son of conservative radio host Michael Reagan and grandson of former president Ronald Reagan, was arrested Thursday at his home in Southern California and charged with resisting arrest. “They tackled and arrested him,” Kirsten Fedewa told CNN.

We discernmentalists know this is a liberal plot against us because we stand for Absolute Truth like our Final President Ronald Reagan before us. Afterall Republicans can do no wrong.

We must say in order to fight the liberal threat

Fellow Americans, Republicans, CONSERVATIVES, DISCERNMENTALISTS: It is clear that the only way we are going to unify is to agree on what we all agree: REAGAN CONSERVATISM. Help me bring the message, the values, the voice of the real conservatives back to the party. I will be traveling, speaking and sharing what I know about my father’s dream and vision all around America. Get involved, support our efforts donate now.


Discernmentalists Invent New Device

January 7, 2010

GOIP Press—Extree extree read all aboutit! Ken Silva and Eric Barger unveil a new invention for all GOIP Dicernmentalists. Introducing the new Self-Inflating Egoanator Device–guaranteed to aid Discernmentalists in their Truth War efforts by giving Discernmentalists a quick boost to their egos and helping them to one-up those vile Emergent heretics. This device is so fearsome to our enemies that it strikes a wave of  terror even amongst the hardest-hearted atheists. They fear this device so much they even attack it:

in the words of (notable atheist) Arthur C. Clarke, “there is something unspeakably sinister about a machine that does nothing — absolutely nothing — except turn itself off.”

But who listens to atheists anyway—certainly not any True Absolute Truth Discernmentalists. Anyways behold the horror of the Absolute  Truth proving Self-Inflating Egoanator Device all ye atheists, apostates and heretics:

 Wee vill vin the Truth Wars because we alone hold to the Absolute Truth Doctrines of John MacArthur’s Truth Wars™ and the Absolute Truth is ours alone.


Top Highlights From The Year-End Discernmentalist Convention For The New Year

January 2, 2010

  1.  

It’s a GOIP  miracle—Sharin’ Whiplash’s (an anti-Christ-Mass and anti-Advent GOIP discernmentalist) face appears on a fern in Dec. of  ’09 which reinforces our anti-CatholicPagan Christmas message and supports our message that:

Christmas should should not be about celebrating the Incarnation of the world’s Savior but should not be about ridiculing and condemning Catholics and  other non-Calvinists and supporting Republican foreign policy, war, torture and capitalist materialist consumerism.

We know that this reaffirms our Discernmentalist Messages of Absolute Truth as Sharin’ Whiplash is a charter member of the Fundamentalist Society 4 Final President Reagan.

  • Sharin’  Whiplash again sharing our Pure Doctrines and our Discernmentalist Messages of Absolute Truth sneaks inside the Vatcave of  Papist Conspiracies to  Eradicate Absolute Truth—while there she attacks the Pope  in an attempt to destroy the Pagan Catholic Christ-Mass and bring about the glorious virtues of the Reganomic-driven GOIP version of Christmas:

2. Miley “the Southern Baptist who is now  an Emergent apostate” Cyrus attacks GOIP parenting.

3.  

Lady Gaga may be the Top Artist of 2009 but God hates her—we are Absolutely Certain of this fact.

4. Former False President Jimmy Carter continues spreading his Neo-Marxism within apostate Baptist churches:

5.  Emergynts continue using their “Seeker-Sensitive” techniques to undermine Absolute Biblical Truth:

This is why we Discernmentalists promise to step-up our efforts in battle because of our commitments to John MacArthur’s Absolute Truth Wars.  Also because Aposate churches are giving us a run for our money in Discernmentalism—here is an example of an apostate Pentecostal tongue-babbler beating us to the punch-line of discernmentalism:

6.  Say Yes to Anti-Catholicism as that is speaking unTruth in hate love to non-apostates:

Say No  to Anti-Calvinism as those who criticize Calvinism are not only truly bigots with their hate speech, they are also anti-God, for Calvinism is the Absolute Truth.

Here again we Discernmentalists must step up the pace in our defenses of the Absolute Truth.

7.  Finally in our Year-End Discernmentalist Convention our friends Ken Silva and Eric Barger reveal our new Free-Marketing campaign for the New Year:


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