A Slice of Worship

April 22, 2008

 

Laodiceans,

It is worse than I thought, and once again you need to be made aware of a disturbing trend that is being pushed by certain bloggers. (HT: Emergent) The trend is to limit the time of worship to a mere hour. We are given 168 hours per week (HT: My calculator) to live, and move, and have our being, but now former uber-ODM, the author of slice of laodicea, is advocating that we only give an hour per week back to the Lord: (HT: Slice of Laodicea)

Here’s the quote in context:

I received this press release this morning calling on Christians to shut down worship services and go help the poor. Rather than set aside an hour for the express worship of our Lord and King and then go out and serve, we are being told that serving poor people is worship and nothing else is needed. [My emphasis.]

You can see it there in plain English (HT: England): ‘an hour’ for ‘express worship’. Talk about your ‘drive-through’ worship! We strenuously object to this line (HT: Demi Moore). We just cannot understand why the author of slice would all of a sudden favor such short worship times. Seriously: Express Worship? Isn’t that what they sell at McDonald’s: Express breakfast? (HT: McDonald’s) Or is it Holiday Inn? (HT: Holiday Inn)Shame on the author of slice for linking the church to McDonald’s. We here at TheODM feel that this is an egregious error on the part of our former compatriot in the truth war (s). (HT: John MacArthur) Worship should NOT be limited to only an hour. We agree with the Scripture which says that we should do all things to the glory of God. (HT: Paul) We believe that ALL time belongs to God and therefore all things should be worship. (HT: The Bible) To limit our ‘time’ of worship to a mere hour is far below the standards of any properly defined Discernment Ministry. (HT: Itodyaso) We think that one should only help the poor for an hour a week and the rest of the time should be dedicated to worship. In fact, most people should quit (HT: Barry Sanders) their day jobs for this purpose too. In fact, who cares about the poor! (HT: Judas Iscariot)

Now, on a brighter note (HT: The Sun), we are happy that the author of slice has taken time out of her schedule (but she only needs an hour for worship this week so she has plenty of time to spare) to remind all you vandals (HT: Goths & Visigoths) about the rules of posting and ‘borrowing’ from the writings of others. (HT: Plagiarism) This is why above I was only able to quote a snippet. (HT: snip and puppet) Here’s what the article says and again, my apologies for not quoting the entire post, but the author has forbidden it. Here’s the best I can do without having to worry about copyright infringement: (HT: ©)

….It’s fine to excerpt and cut and paste…without asking permission. I’m not upset with anyone…but I am noticing a disturbing trend by columnists and bloggers alike these days….I have…issues. I’m only requesting…Carrington Steele…dare someone to come after…you, readers.

Well, I did my best to heed the implied threat in this sentence: “I spoke this morning with an author of several Christian (HT: Antioch) books and many articles…who lifted without attribution…Whole sections of articles, entire posts cut and pasted into others’ blogs with nothing but a HT (hat tip)…I’ll come after…you…in…the future.” (1) (1) But as you can see, I clearly did not simply ‘cut and paste’ the entire blog post. Instead, I very carefully did what the author said and ‘cut and pasted’ the more salient points and I have provided numerous links back to her blog. 

We applaud this hard line taken by the author and we will give serious consideration to allowing her to rejoin the ranks of serious discernment ministries like ours. But until we can convince the author of slice to worship for more than an hour per week, we are afraid she is just not up to snuff. I am in this for you, Laodiceans. I am hopeful that my agony for you will be worth it all. I hope you will be careful around this very dangerous blog.

struggle4laodicea

HT: SliceofLaodicea

Props: SliceofLaodicea

Copyright: SliceofLaodicea

All Rights Reserved: SliceofLaodicea

Kudos: SliceofLaodicea

Friend of Discernment: SliceofLaodicea

Original Author: SliceofLaodicea

From the Webblog: SliceofLaodicea

Enemy of Emergent: SliceofLaodicea

Friend of Pastor Silva: SliceofLaodicea

Owner: SliceofLaodicea

Patent Pending: SliceofLaodicea

Ghostwriter: SliceofLaodicea

Green Friendly: SliceofLaodicea

Made with 100% Recyclable Key strokes: SliceofLaodicea

Drink Milk from Rats instead of Cows: SliceofLaodicea

I hope I have covered all the bases and have properly attributed this post. If there is any confusion, I will be happy to give you a list of sources. SliceofLaodicea should cover it.

Footnotes:

(1) SliceofLaodicea

Endnotes:

(1) SliceofLaodicea

Index: SliceofLaodicea

Glossary: SliceofLaodicea

Afterward: SliceofLaodicea

Back Cover blurbs: SliceofLaodicea

PS–All links in this post HT: The internet.


Starbucks is an emergent church like entity

February 26, 2008

starbucks-logo-copy.gif

We here at the Online Discernmentalist Mafia see a parallel with Starbucks shutting down for three hours to re-train its employees, with the emergent/seeker movement in the church.  Starbucks feels like it is losing its way, while we know that the emergent church has already lost its way.  Starbucks is worried about the competition of McDonald’s and Dunkin Donuts, while the emergent church is worried about being part of the post-modern culture.  Starbucks started serving breakfast and accommodating everyone, while the emerging church takes in everyone,  while they are still sinning. 

We here will not take three hours of to re-train, since we need no re-training.  God has given us everything we need in the form of inerrant scripture that has been validated by various people including Ken Silva, John MacArthur, and the pyro-guys.  Paul told us to pray without ceasing and that doesn’t mean to take three hours off, like the emergent church guys would do.    We will stand on the street corners and preach how everyone who hears us is a sinner, especially those who would “call” themselves Christians, for they are the worst, and we won’t take three hours off.  We will work the Way of the Master formula to perfection since it is the only approved way of evangelism and is taken straight from the approved versions of the most inerrant scriptures.  We will not take three hours off.  We have TRUTH on our side and so we can’t lose.  Let those emergent “churches” take time off to train and learn new things, let them do new sermon series, let them have Starbucks coffee in their church, and let God rain down his fire to those wolves in sheep’s clothing.  I don’t want to be anywhere around when God’s wrath comes down on those sinners, who think they are fine because they love everyone and follow Christ’s example, in the form of fire and sulfur.  Many churches will be in flames on that day and pillars of salt will litter the landscape as these “Christians” look back on their homosexually loving churches. 

We will not take three hours off because God shines his light on the defenders of his TRUTH, which could be compromised if we take three hours off.

May the peace of Christ be with you, and all who think like me.

Dr. Seymore Spurgeon


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