Your Tithes To Us At Work!!!!

January 3, 2012

What is becoming evident, within traditionally fundamental and evangelistic churches, whose origins are in the Protestant Reformation but who have traveled out into the sea of Semi-Pelagianism, is just how much more Pelagian they are becoming every day. What is becoming evident, within traditionally fundamental and evangelistic churches, whose origins are in the Protestant Reformation but who have traveled out into the sea of Semi-Pelagianism, is just how much more Pelagian they are becoming every day.

“Since long time before mankind started to develop technologies to provide engery from fusion of light atomic nuclei and from fission of heavy atomic nuclei, nature has been releasing energy from fusion and fission processes: Fusion of hydrogen to helium nuclei is the energy source of the stars like the sun.”

They developed these techn0logies with one single purpose in mind: to liquidate those evil grace-hating man-loving free-will worshiping Pelagian Popish-Pagans: the Armenians. Since long time true believers in the Only True and Correct Doctrines of Grace aka TULIP have been trying to rid the world of the imputent plague known as Armenianism.

Now thanks to your more than generous tithes to us and utilizing Amazon.Com’s 20% savings deal on the Kindle version of Nuclear Energies:

Digital List Price: $7,790.00 What’s this?
Print List Price: $7,790.00
Kindle Price: $6,232.00 includes free wireless delivery via Amazon Whispernet
You Save: $1,558.00 (20%)

We bought several copies of this classic masterwork and are now halfway through with building our own Nuclear Power-plant and several Doomsday Death Devices and other Weapons of “Papalist” Mass Destruction to aid our fellow Discernmentalists in our 2012 Doomsday/Armageddon Plans; to help power-up our Rapture machines and to help us to profit off of all the non-elect unregenerate reprobate Postmodern emergent heathens and other unsaved pagans Left Behind; and also to help us to destroy the Semi-Pelagees (Armenianists and Romanists) once and for all!


A Very Special Message For Japan!

October 7, 2011

An open letter to the Emperor of Japan from one of our long-time supporters:

AN OPEN LETTER TO EMPEROR AKIHITO OF JAPAN
From Jimmy Goddard (Youth-Pastor, Christian, American)

I speak for the LIVING GOD who answers prayers, and who stands in judgement over your godless nation. For thousands of years you have been ignoring the GOSPEL of JESUS CHRIST, and his sacrifice which cleansed our sins.

And now god’s vengence is been made clear – and yet you still defy him by “praying” to your pagan deities. ( http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-31749_16…-10391698.html ). I humbly call upon you to renounce your paganism, embrace Jesus Christ, the LAMB OF GOD and convert to Christianity.

I promise you with 100% certainty that if you were to give your heart to Jesus today God would instantly quench the satanic fires that rage in your nuclear reactors. But if you continue to defy God’s commandments let it be known that his wrath will make the events of the last few weeks seem as nothing. Your land will be torn asunder. Your nation and every godless thing you stand for will be destroyed.

Compassionately Yours,

Jimmy

Brothers and sisters in Christ, it should now be obvious to anyone with eyes that God is enraged with Japan. He hates them for a long list of reasons, some of which I understand (being racist perverts and bowing down to that fat (idol) budha for one!), and many I don’t. But God is smarter than the rest of us, so we’ll all take His word for it and send Him a big “Thank You Jesus!” in our prayers this week. Even our good and faithful student Rhoblogy agrees that God hates Japan. Japan is doomed unless the Elect among them Repent. Our God is so good! Praise the wide loving mercy of our angry God’s Absolute Sovereign Wrath and Hatred! May all wake up one day to the Absolute Truth of the True Gospel of the Pure Doctrines that we Discernmentalists alone along with the Ways of the Master preach.


Trish of Fish With Trish flubs answer to Important Doctrinal Question…

September 20, 2011


Trish of Fish with Trish states:

We are greatly concerned here for many reasons. First of all why would any Godly woman ever read the Bible—an oxymoron of terms—for as the Apostle Paul proclaimed: “Let the woman learn in silence with all subjection.” Secondly, we must Absolutely forbid women reading the Bible under any circumstances just in case she slips up and reads a passage of Scripture aloud…  in front of men and women… say like Romans 1:18-32 and therefore ‘usurps authority over man’ by preaching the Gospel to them.

If women want to know what the Bible says, they should find a man whose feet they can sit under and ‘learn in quiet submission’… especially if that man is the greatest Man of God in our Age of uncertainty, John MacArthur (P. B. U. H). Thirdly, we mustn’t ever let any woman share the Gospel as that leads to the slippery-slope of female Pastors preaching the Gospel and as we all know preaching/sharing the Gospel is a Divinely mandated role for males only. However, Trish wrongly states:

One of the greatest signs of being born again is to have the desire/boldness to speak the Word of God and to tell others about his glorious gospel (Acts 4:31). A biblical woman is a woman that shares the good news of the Gospel with her family members, her children and the lost in general. There is no distinction. You can’t be a biblical woman and not talk about the Gospel. The Gospel is at the very center of a biblical woman.

This supports that slippery-slope. What’s next? Women prophesying* in churches? Women leading in prayer? Women becoming Ruling Elders? Heaven forbid that—this is what the Ways of the Master of the Truth War himself teaches and so should we. Remember “There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus. Go into all the world and preach the gospel to all creation.” This is why we should never ever under any circumstances let a woman preach, speak or even share the Gospel… let alone Pastor a church. I hope this clears up where we all must stand in the Absolute Sovereignty of the Angry God of our Doctrine and His Holy Wrath.

Humbly serving in His gracious Wrath,

Pastor Don Jobson

*- Note: Prophesy means preach.

P. S. In related news: woman caught preaching from the Bible—millions accidently get Saved:


WWJMD If Jesus Came To Grace Community Church?

September 13, 2011


What would John MacArthur (P. B. U. H.)  do if Jesus visited Grace Community Church? Why point his self-righteous finger of condemnation and judgment at that smug Roman Mystical Liberal Fascist Wine-Drinking Tree-Hugging Commie sinner, of course!

Lets see here—Case #1—Luke 7:33-34 states: “33For John the Baptist came neither eating bread nor drinking wine; and ye say, He hath a devil./34The Son of man is come eating and drinking; and ye say, Behold a gluttonous man, and a winebibber, a friend of publicans and sinners!” If it looks like a drunkard; if it acts like a drunkard—it must be a drunkard. Simple Discernmentalist Math and as we know John MacArthur (P. B. U. H.) has stated that anyone whose lips have touched one single drop of an alcoholic liquid is a boozing sinner. Also a fellow MacArthurite (P. B. U. H.) has exclaimed: “…it only takes one sip of your legal wine to become a drunk, addicted to the stuff.”

Case #2—Matthew 5:43-48 says:

43Ye have heard that it hath been said, Thou shalt love thy neighbour, and hate thine enemy.

44But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you;

45That ye may be the children of your Father which is in heaven: for he maketh his sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sendeth rain on the just and on the unjust.

46For if ye love them which love you, what reward have ye? do not even the publicans the same?

47And if ye salute your brethren only, what do ye more than others? do not even the publicans so?

48Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect.

You hear that Jesus talked about love. Love means pleasure and pleasure leads to sinful activities of the flesh—clearly Jesus was into Pornographic Divination. These are just two in a list of many offenses of Jesus that warrant John MacArthur (P. B. U. H.)’s self-Righteous finger of condemnation—so bow to our Glorious Elder’s Holy Finger of Judgment and keep spreading the fear and hate of all things Emergent and Young Restless & Reformed.


Porn-Surfer!

September 5, 2011

            (The Whore Of Babylon rides a red surfboard)

We used Eric Barger’s new R. I. C. K. S. H. A. W. (Reconnaissance Inquiry Computing Konspiracies Seeking Heretics’ Apostasy [TRUTH] Warhead) in order to write this movie review:

Porn-Surfer is the newest popular “feel good” secular film with the sole motivational purpose of promoting lust. Porn-Surfer tells the story of  an immodestly bikini clad preteen surfer who still surfs and dresses immodestly even after God punishes her with His Absolute Sovereign Wrath by sending a shark to bite off one of her arms. To further add to the sinful rebellion of the main character—“Even though Bethany is only 13 years old, we see no repercussions for her prideful rebellion against her parents; instead, everyone heads out the door with a cheerful kiss and goodbye. There is no discussion of danger, no talk of deception, no rebuke, and no consequence.

Talk about humanistic arrogance and pride! Porn-Surfer not only seems to be all about lust but also promotes a man-centered; God-hating;  ear-tickling; grace-hating man-loving  Semi-Pelagian Arminianist worldview. (And we all know where the heresy of Arminianism came from as it was the false gospel of Satan from the Garden as Arminianism is the root of all evil—not only that Arminianism leads back to it’s equally heretical forerunner: Romanism and Popery)! An example of the Arminianist bent of this movie is how Bethany’s “passion for surfing” supercedes her need for a Savior such as how she always fulfills the selfish desires of her sinful flesh first before even giving a thought to pleasing her Absolute Sovereign Savior.

Another example of the ear-tickling man-pleasing ways of the Bethany character: “…(her) arriving late for a seaside church service, Bethany throws a cover-up over her wet bikini, and takes a seat. As family and friends finish singing “Blessed Be Your Name,” Bethany continues to gaze out over the ocean, seeming to long for the waves. One of the first questions she asks her father after the accident is, “When can I surf again?” Pure man-centered-ness at it’s worse! Not only is this Pure Arminian babble but also filled with Purpose-Driven heresy which is a total mischaracterization of the Gospel for as John MacArthur (P. B. U. H.) always says: “this life should always be purposeless and that’s the Absolute Gospel Truth.”

Our Research Robot Monkeys also noted of this smutty film: “The immodesty throughout the film is significant, as nearly the entire movie takes place on the beach where most of the women wear skimpy swimwear and the men go shirtless. The surfing scenes are particularly problematic as bikini-clad surfers are filmed curving around the waves from various compromising angles. Though there are no “sex scenes,” the nearly constant display of beautiful, tan, near-naked young Hollywood actresses still make sex an issue. If a man would find it difficult not to lust sitting at a crowded beach watching beautiful women in bikinis walk by, then he will probably have a hard time with this movie. Pornography is a real issue and men who are struggling with this sin know the importance of avoiding giving provision to the flesh.

But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh, to fulfill its lusts. (Romans 13:14)

It is important to recognize that we live in a sex-saturated culture. Many men, Christian men, struggle daily with internet pornography.”

In conclusion, this is the typical Emerging film for Emergent and YRR type sinners who seek new lows in order to  justify their wicked depravity and God-hating rebellion. This movie is nothing more than sinful pornographic Arminian Papist filth. It is a shame that this film was marketed as a Christian-themed film because of how ungodly it is—there is no redeeming factor whatsoever about this trash as “there was no Gospel (the Glorious Doctrines of Dort) or (even a) redemptive message (for that matter) in the movie. For the record, I don’t think a movie has to be produced (solely) by Christians, or be (totally) about Christians, to glorify God. At the same time, I think it can be produced by Christians, even be (all) about (only) Christians, and still fail to glorify God.”


Inside The Mind Of A Discernmentalist

August 25, 2011

Now for the first time ever ODMafia exclusively reveals to you a first-hand inside look into the operating brains of Discernmentalists‘ ministries:


Feeding Sheep or Entertaining Goats at Church Nurseries?

April 21, 2011

Mainstream evangelicalism is literally in the toilet or is that diaper pails to be more correct. Anyways recently our Research Robot Monkeys came upon some startling information concerning several Mainstream American Churches. This Revelation is so shocking… so blasphemous… We can only conclude it must be an abomination to God. Here is this abominable revelation in all of it’s worldly filth: several churches our Research Robot Monkeys have visited have decorated their nurseries with various children’s themes and are filled with worldly toys in an attempt to attract kids to Jesus. (Photo of one of these horrible Seeker-Sensitive Emergent Purpose-Driven nurseries included above).

How disgusted we are at this Seeker-Driven nonsense! Quote from one of these horrible false churches defending their foolishness: “Our nursery (decorated in a child-friendly motif) gives Pre-School members a reason to invite their friends to church. That is what Christ’s Family Church is all about; reaching those toddlers and others who have become disenchanted with religion but are searching for a relationship with Jesus Christ.”

So… somehow, a flashy nursery is supposed to save sinful souls. Even one local newspaper for toddlers wrote an article titled, “Come for the Nursery, Stay for the Service.” We have moved from John the Baptist proclaiming truth in the wilderness, to using a hormone-induced and child-friendly designed nursery to lure kids to a building. While there is nothing wrong with a nifty and fun nursery, there is plenty wrong with using it to attract people to Jesus. We implore kids to come to the Savior, not come for the nursery. We promote Jesus, not the amenities. Church is for Christians, not curiosity seekers. We win them to the Lord, not by being hip. Evangelism is to be done by church members and nursery-workers, not the nursery itself.

As Spurgeon once said:

An evil is in the professed camp of the Lord, so gross in its impudence, that the most shortsighted Christian can hardly fail to notice it. During the past few years this evil has developed at an alarming rate. It has worked like leaven until the whole lump ferments! The devil has seldom done a more clever thing, than hinting to the Church that part of their mission is to provide entertainment for the people, with a view to winning them. From speaking out the gospel, the Church has gradually toned down her testimony, then winked at and excused the frivolities of the day. Then she tolerated them in her borders. Now she has adopted them under the plea of reaching the masses! My first contention is that providing amusement for the people is nowhere spoken of in the Scriptures as a function of the Church. If it is a Christian work why did not Christ speak of it? “Go into all the world and preach the gospel to every creature, and provide amusement for those who do not relish the gospel.” No such words, however, are to be found. Again, providing amusement is in direct antagonism to the teaching and life of Christ and all His apostles. What was the attitude of the apostolic Church to the world? “You are the salt of the world,” not the sugar candy; something the world will spit out, not swallow. Had Jesus introduced more of the bright and pleasant elements into His teaching, He would have been more popular. When “many of His disciples turned back and no longer followed Him,” I do not hear Him say, “Run after these people, Peter, and tell them we will have a different style of service tomorrow; something short and attractive with little preaching. We will have a pleasant evening for the people. Tell them they will be sure to enjoy it! Be quick, Peter, we must get the people somehow!” No! Jesus pitied sinners, sighed and wept over them, but never sought to amuse them! In vain will the epistles be searched to find any trace of the “gospel of amusement.” Anything approaching amusement is conspicuous by its absence. They had boundless confidence in the gospel and employed no other weapon. Lastly, amusement fails to effect the end desired. Let the heavy laden who found peace through the concert not keep silent! Let the drunkard to whom the dramatic entertainment had been God’s link in the chain of their conversion, stand up! There are none to answer! The mission of amusement produces no converts! The need of the hour for today’s ministry is earnest spirituality joined with Biblical doctrine, so understood and felt, that it sets men on fire.

From all of those churches that have Emergent Seeker-Driven nurseries we can conclude that:

  • 1. Many Evangelicals no longer believe that Scripture is sufficient. They need tools to enhance the Gospel to get regular attenders.
  • 2. They clearly have no idea what the Gospel is.



Chad Holtz And Mike Morrell’s Emergent Village Possibly Found

April 19, 2011

Our Research Robot Monkeys recently infiltrated an Emergent Cohort compound and discovered horrible abominations such as couches and candles. In this candle-lit ashram there were a bunch of scantily-clad men and women participating in the usual routine Emergent rituals of nude centering prayer (with much icons, incense, chanting, and apophatic silence). There was a lot of stretching going on and not in a good way. Our Research Robot Monkeys were horrified at all they saw and we are too. All we can say is Beware… Beware the Emergent Hordes and their Seeker-Sensitive Purpose-Driven lives!

Video of a typical Emergent Village pow-wow:


Celebrate Our Non-Man-Centered Gospel:

January 19, 2011

By buying a ticket to one of our Sovereign Cruises today:

Yes that’s right you can celebrate the beauty of our non-man-centered Gospel by buying a ticket for one of our Sovereign Cruises today. What better way of reveling in the Absolute Biblical Truth Gospel of God’s Absolute Sovereign Wrath and Law towards the 99% of humanity that He foreordained not to love by spending your time on one of our Sovereign Cruises today! Just think of all the non-man-centered fun you’ll be having if you join us for one of our Sovereign Cruises today! Why you’ll just jump for joy and leap with glee as you discuss the endless torment of all those who do not believe the same as you!

And as we all know the best way to combat heresy and the spiritual terrorists who are attacking Absolute Truth in our churches is by joining us for one of our Sovereign Cruises today! After-all, God’s Truth is so fragile and always under attack that we must all take a stand in God’s sovereignty to protect it. If we do not, the perverts and sickos of this world will destroy the church and what better way to do that than by participating in a non-man-centered activity like going on one of our Sovereign Cruises today. 

Through the ages, our Lord Jesus Christ has provided His Word to His bride, the church.  The Word is His voice, and He has chosen to speak with clarity and with sufficiency.  He has given this tremendous gift out of love, for He has protected it and blessed those who have remained faithful to its teachings. Its sufficiency is a great encouragement to His people, for without it they would be left wandering in darkness, always casting about for some other source to guide them to the truth in the kind of certainty needed for a life of  godliness and service in a hostile world.

The God-breathed Scriptures speak to every generation of believers with the same soul-changing, truth-imparting power as they did from the beginning.  However, this world has become an indescribably challenging place.   Islam’s self-identification is to deny Christian truth but yet is allowed to stand unchallenged in our modern media . Issues of ethics and morality, extending from abortion through genetic experimentation, euthanasia, homosexuality, and the complete redefinition of the divine institution of marriage and family are all around us.  Postmodernism has destroyed the foundation of truth, humanism  has annihilated the highest and best in man, and naturalistic materialism has banished hope from his mind. The world has nothing to offer him, since he is created in the image of God, and so he lives in constant rebellion against this nature and the testimony of God’s existence all around him and within him.  Only Christ’s church, blessed with His Word, can speak to man’s truest needs.  The enemy, knowing this, attacks the Scriptures in every conceivable fashion, seeking to sow seeds of doubt in believer’s minds so that they will not boldly proclaim to the world the very truths God’s Word has revealed.

What we promise you’ll hear on one of our Sovereign Cruises:

  1. All non-Calvinist theology is man-centered
  2. The Bible is inerrant
  3. Our interpretation of the Bible is inerrant
  4. We are not man-centered
  5. Our interpretation of the Bible is not man-centered
  6. This cruise is not man-centered

So join us today on one of our lovely and luxurious non-man-centered  Sovereign Cruises!


How To Tell If You’re Really Saved Or Not

January 2, 2011

John Calvin (the Final Arbiter of All Christian Truth) clearly taught something called *evanescent grace* in which God gives a ‘fake grace’ to the Reprobate to make them *think* and act as if they were Saved, and this only so that He could damn them with greater punishment for such deceptive behavior.

Clearly Emergents, Roman Catholics, Arminians, the Eastern Orthodox, Liberals, Democrats, Socialists, (Ana)Baptists, Lutherans, Communists, Red-Letter Christians, Marxists, Evolutionists, Darwinians, Mainline Christians, Liberal Presbyterians, Infralapsarians, Bezan Calvinists, Prosperity teachers, Moderate Calvinists, Liberal Protestants, Calminians, Pentecostal tongue-babblers, Almyridians, anyone who is not King James Only, Textus Receptus Only, or ESV Only, Seeker-Sensitives, New Agers, Ragamuffins, “Gay” Christians, Open Theists, Barthians, anyone who has read The Shack and/or The Message Bible, Velvet Elvis people who are Blue Like Jazz, Purpose-Driven people and anyone who doesn’t Absolutely agree with John MacArthur and Wretched Radio without exception and therefore unlike Ken Silva lack a backbone have been given “fake grace.” As the Biblical Jesus makes clear: “all those not for us are against us” and these heretics are most definitely against us—for although they may profess to know Jesus as Lord and act Christianly, they don’t know the True Jesus of the Bible: the Angry Sovereign Wrathful Jesus of Discernmentalism. And He doesn’t know them either: “And then will I declare to them, ‘I never knew you; depart from me, you workers of lawlessness.’

This false sense of security is so strong that it’s indistinguishable even to the believer (or non-believer who thinks he’s a believer). Or, as Calvin (the Holy Spirit) put it: “though none are enlightened into faith, and truly feel the efficacy of the Gospel, with the exception of those who are fore-ordained to salvation, yet experience shows that the reprobate are sometimes affected in a way so similar to the elect, that even in their own judgment there is no difference between them. “

False Converts most certainly have a false sense of security since they are “spiritually blind and dead in their trespasses” especially those who have “asked Jesus into their hearts” and/or have recited a “Sinner’s Prayer” or believe “Baptism saves” …I mean it’s not like any of the Reformers ever taught any of those things. Assurance and Eternal Security of the Elect is about the Penal Substitutionary Atonement for the Elect only and nothing we do.

So God reveals to these damned a sense of His Mercy, and of His Goodness, and reveals His Grace to them. They accept His Grace, although confusedly. They think they’re saved (“the reprobate are sometimes affected in a way so similar to the elect, that even in their own judgment there is no difference between them.”), and others think they’re saved, since “under a covering of hypocrisy, they seem to have a principle of faith in common” with the saved. Yet, Calvin (our Final Prophet) argues that when God “shows himself propitious to them, it is not as if he had truly rescued them from death, and taken them under his protection.” So according to Calvin (the only True Reformer), God pretends to save them, gives them fake assurances of salvation, and then damns them.

Calvin (the Alpha and Omega) does distinguish between the graces experienced by the saved v. the confused damned. The saved get the real thing, while the damned lay hold “of the shadow rather than the substance.” In other words, if the saved are drinking Coke, the damned are drinking Diet Coke. But since neither the saved nor the damned have ever had the other kind, and all of the external characteristics are the same, there’s no way of knowing which you’re drinking. Read over (our and Ken Silva’s clear teachings) and Calvin’s teachings  in the link above (on Book III, Chapter II, Section 11 of Institutes of the Christian Religion) [the Absolute Biblical Truth], and I think you’ll see that the following is a pretty accurate chart depicting how you can figure out which one you are (of the Saved Regenerate Elect with Saving Grace or of the Damned Unsaved Unregenerate Non-Elect Reprobates with Evanescent Grace):


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