Martin Luther On Alcohol

September 18, 2011

Accordingly if the devil should say, ‘Do not drink,’ you should reply to him, ‘On this very account, because you forbid it, I shall drink, and what is more, I shall drink a generous amount. Thus one must always do the opposite of that which Satan prohibits. What do you think is my reason for drinking wine undiluted, talking freely, and eating more often, if it is not to torment and vex the devil who made up his mind to torment and vex me.

~ Martin Luther

What an evil man! Clearly this proves that those closet Papists (Reformed In Name Only)—Lutherans are grace-hating man-loving carnal-minded semi-Pelagian reprobates. May God damn all those man-worshipping God-hating Lutherans or any RINO (Reformed In Name Only) Calvinist who quotes from that Satanist Martin Luther.

More proof that Martin Luther is an evil denier of the Gospel of Grace: he brewed his own beer in a place of worship at that—Pure Blasphemous Heresy. Clearly Luther was just trying to be “hip and cool” and “appeal to carnal pagan culture!”

Thankfully we like John MacArthur (P. B. U. H.) take a stand for the Pure Doctrines of the Gospel of Grace and believe that drinking even one drop of alcohol is a sin or even using an alcohol-based mouthwash.


Breaking News: Gene Simmons Endorses Rob Bell’s Love Wins

April 20, 2011

- Gene Simmons of the Rock Band Kiss holds a copy of Rob Bell’s “Love Wins”

We have the scoop here before any other Discernmentalist blog on the Internet including the great and all powerful Ken Silva. Gene Simmons quote:  “If you go back and check all the reviews for all the icons of today — Elvis, the Beatles and so on — they were dismissed as flashes in the pans, this is why I support Rob Bell.” Of course that unregenerate reprobate would support Rob Bell as he also is blind to the Hard Truths of the Bible. Gene is on record as calling himself Dr. Love which is proof he believes Love Wins—-also he thinks he is the god of thunder… Blasphemous!

Question: if God is going to spare everyone, regardless of what they believe or don’t believe, then what does it matter what good we do or don’t do here on Earth? Then we’re going to have a blast in the future-present-pluperfect heaven with Mother Teresa, Hitler, and Gene Simmons. If God’s just going to give everyone a free pass, then there is no substantive reason for us to do anything good here on Earth except to avoid the harmful consequences of sin (an issue that Bell never takes to its Biblical conclusion).

Kiss’ unrepentant heretical Emergent theology:

We must put a stop to this but…

Unfortunately, if you disagree with Bell, you’re “toxic and misguided.”
Criticizing him makes you a “Pharisee,” according to Eugene Peterson.
A commenter on the above-linked page asks the critics, “Why are you so anxious to make sure there are people in hell? The fact that you NEED Bell to be wrong and have people in hell communicates much more about yourself than either Bell or God.”
No Bible-believing Christian wants people in hell, because that isn’t what God wants.
“Do you think, asks the Sovereign Lord, that I like to see wicked people die? Of course not! I only want them to turn from their wicked ways and live.” -Ezekiel 18:23
The reason that we need to be clear about the eternal consequences of denying Christ, which are real and revealed by the Scriptures, is because that’s what is at stake.
Jesus did not die a criminal’s death and rise from the grave so that we could all feel good about ourselves, have a nice life, drive fast cars, and be rich.
Jesus did not become a man so that his sacrifice could save the world from his bipolar father.
Jesus did what he did to save our souls (from the “Real Place” that is Hell).
That is the real story. That is the real truth.

More heretic Emergent theology from Kiss:


Love Wins?

March 1, 2011

         

             A Blog Post by some of the Research Robot Monkeys

                          of the Online Discernmentalist Mafia:

Recently the ultra-mega sinfully ecumenical quasi-semi-Pelagian reprobated and heretical Universalist Emergent guru Rob Bell broke into the OD Mafia Headquarters. “Ho ho;” he said, “I’ve got Good News for you today…Love Wins.”

Alarmed by the disturbance our masters and heroes Dr. I . Todyaso, Dr. Truthslayer and Dr. Don Jobson quickly withdrew their weapons. Now brandishing their bullhorns in the manner of Todd Friel—they began to shout down that vile and Wretched sinner Rob Bell. Our heroes the OD Mafia proclaimed the True Gospel—the good news of God’s Absolute Sovereign Wrath and commendable hatred towards all those whose doctrines are impure and theology is incorrect.

All Rob Bell could say was “Love Wins…Love Wins…Love Wins…” Suddenly during the chaos Brian D. “amn your soul to hell” McLaren appeared in a mystical mist of confusion and grabbed the noble crew of the Online Discernmentalist Mafia and then disappeared. We haven’t seen or heard from either Dr. I . Todyaso, Dr. Truthslayer or Dr. Don Jobson ever since—although we suspect that those symbols of all that is evil in the world Rob Bell and Brian McLaren are holding them captive. The last thing we saw was Rob Bell driving off in a van laughing and calmly proclaiming that “Love Wins.”

P. S. If you see an Ice Cream Truck disguised as a traveling ministry with “Love Wins” painted on the side, please report the sighting to your nearest local Discernmentalist church.

            A. J. Research Robot Monkeys filling in for the OD Mafia


Todd Friel Slips Into Arminian Heresy

January 6, 2011

Let there be no misunderstanding at this point. The Arminian limits the atonement as certainly as does the Calvinist. The Calvinist limits the extent of it in that he says it does not apply to all persons…while the Arminian limits the power of it, for he says that in itself it does not actually save anybody. The Calvinist limits it quantitatively, but not qualitatively; the Arminian limits it qualitatively, but not quantitatively. For the Calvinist it is like a narrow bridge that goes all the way across the stream; for the Arminian it is like a great wide bridge that goes only half-way across. As a matter of fact, the Arminian places more severe limitations on the work of Christ than does the Calvinist. (Lorraine Boettner, The Reformed Doctrine of Predestination (Phillipsburg, New Jersey: Presbyterian and Reformed Publishing Company, 1932) p. 153.)

Typical Arminianist semi-Pelagian heretic: “Jesus died for the sins of the world.”

True Bible-Believer: “No He didn’t. Jesus died for the Elect and the sins of the Elect only.” (John 3:16; John 1:29)

Around a minute and fifty-eight seconds into the video clip above, Todd made a blasphemous error—he commited Roman Arminian and  Popish idolatries by saying that: “Jesus shed His blood for forgiveness of the sins of the world.” Therefore Todd has just denied the Atonement—which is very dangerous ground to be on. Perhaps Todd has read one too many books by that false teacher, arch-heretic and anti-Christ Brian McLaren against Ken Silva’s clear teachings. Todd you have just been exposed as a Arminianist semi-Pelagian heretic—although we suspect Todd is really secretly a Crypto-Lutheran trying to pollute our Pure Doctrines.


Most Heretical Places On Earth

December 16, 2010

TOP NEWSPIN- In a recent polling undertaken by Top Discernmentalists, discernmentalists from around the globe have voted on the Most Heretical Places On Earth. In a surprise ruling Canada and California dropped to the 4th and 5th position (respectively) in the poll. Here is the official listing of the Top 5 Most Heretical Places On Earth:

  1. Armenia: full of man-loving Grace-hating semi-Pelagian Mary-worshiping Papal idolatry celebrating Roman Arminianists; a road straight to Rome; none who live here have any hope of salvation; all are unsaved non-Elect reprobates
  2. Montana: the Montanist state nough said! The heretic named Iggy lives here.
  3. Germany: birthplace of Lutheranism; untouched by the Protestant Reformation; spiritually dead*
  4. Canada: or Canuckistan is a communist country; full of drug addicts, pacifists and queers; produces sin-promoting television shows
  5. California: too liberal; clone of Canada; full of fornicators; other reasons 

————————————————————————————————

*- Further Reading: Truly Reformed; Lutherans not Truly Reformed; Dortian Calvinism Truly Reformed


The Heart Of The Discernmentalist Gospel

November 2, 2010

Most of you are going to hell because you were not specially chosen and frozen like We God’s Truth Biblical Elect (Calvinazis) are—so quake now in mortal fear and terror at the horrors that await ye, reprobates, especially if you are Roman Catholic, Arminian, a Pentecostal tongue-babbler, Emergent, queer or even worse all of the above:

P.S. Hell is a “real place” so We’d hate to be all of you reprobates (non-Calvinazis) on the day that you die so remember We tried to lovingly warn you by the Absolute Truth of our Pure Doctrines which have saved Us from an eternity in flames.

P. P. S. This is also warning to Pastorboy aka (Name withheld upon request) to get back in line with our Pure Doctrines.


Ken Silva’s Upcoming Soon To Be Released New Album

September 30, 2010

“Flesh off the CD plesses Ken “Intelnet Pastol-Teachel” Sirva will soon lerease his ratest cliticarry acraimed hit musicararbum, My Rife As Soopa Discelnmentarist” (Source: Discernmentalize Japan News Agency). “A tru mastapiece!”—Tokyo Times raves! “Bigger than a Toyota and heartier than a pail full of sushi, Ken Silva’s newest album is truly larger than life,” says Osaka Records Corp. 

OD Mafia inside source to all things Ken Silva, our very own Dr. I. Todyaso proclaims:  “Ken has done it again by melding  his dreams of being a rock star with his dreams of being top Discernmentalist with his newest album based on his adventures in Japan. This is sure to be a major hit till Armageddon comes in 2012—when the angry sovereign American flag waving warrior Jesus comes back in His full wrath to slay all those who didn’t participate in John MacArthur’s Truth Wars by pledging allegiance to John MacArthur and Todd Friel’s Angry American God of sovereign wrath and nuclear bombs.” Dr. Truthslayer, Arthur McJohn and I agree.

Here is a music video of the first single from the album—the song is entitled “Ken Silva’s Battle Hymn Of The Truth War” known in Japan by it’s alternative title, “The Jet Jaguar Fight Song”:

Using the rough translation from this early cut of the single we’ve rendered the full translation as such:

“Ken Silva’s Battle Hymn Of The Truth War”

By Ken Silva

HE DISCELMENTARIST MADE OF STEEL…

NO EATS SUSHI FROM A PAIL TOO MUCH RIKE YOGA
KEN SIRVAS ? KEN SIRVAS !
NOTHING NEVER REALLY LOVE HIM WELL
HE DISCELMENTARISM COVERS UP A BASIC INSECURITY
HE DICKEY COVERS UP AN ADDAMS APPLE THE SIZE OF A TOYOTA
HE BASICALLY GOOD-HEARTED BUT WISH HE N JOHN MACALTHUR COULD KNOCK BLIAN MACRAREN OFF THE TOP

KNOCK ! KNOCK ! KNOCK !
WHO’S THERE ?
HIS HEAD LOOKS LIKE JACK NICHOLSON
DON’T SMILE LIKE THAT, IT WILL STAY THAT WAY
YAHMMMAAHOAAHOAAAUGH !…
DO TOUCH MY BAGS IF YOU PLEASE. MR. CUSTOMS MAN


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