New Device Could Keep Our Churches Pure!

“It’s horrible, loud and irritating,” said Eddie Holder, 15,


After reading this article about how a device is used to keep teens (which I believe are the worse of sinners as they practice teen pregnancy, dance like Hannah Montana and other sins) away from buildings I felt inspired by God to tell others this device can be used to keep sinners away from our churches. If someone has not taken the “official Church membership” class, and passed they will not receive a special pair of ear muffs that will help reduce the annoying noise. The “sinner” will hear the noise and be chased out of our churches keeping them pure.

We here at the Online Discernmentalist Mafia fully endorse this product.

“What’s the meaning of all the noise in the city?”,

I. Todyaso

2 Responses to New Device Could Keep Our Churches Pure!

  1. Dave Muller says:

    You didn’t sign off in Jesus Name.


  2. Will Farel XV says:

    What wonderful news! Where can I find this device? It is the perfect thing to help keep my small church clean from filthy sinners. Small chrurches are better anyway.


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