Shoving Planks… and ODM’s are saying this!?!?!

June 21, 2008

Recently I went to that apostate site as I heard Ken Silva was teaching mightily there. I also heard that Pastor John Chisham also known as Pastorboy was there beating the holy tar out of those emerging Warrenites! I was gleeful at first until I came across an accusations by Tim Reed who stated that Pastorboy had told someone to “Take their plank and shove it.”

I was shocked!

I was shocked that an apostate like Tim Reed would rebuke someone as holy as Pastorboy! Yet, I also realized that what Pastorboy stated was unwholesome and nasty and bordered on the homoerotic!

In fact here is his full quote to Tim.

pastorboy Says:
June 9th, 2008 at 8:15 pm

Hey Tim,

Take that plank and shove it. No really, i mean it. No satire. Straight up. I am sick and tired of your false accusations. Be a man and quit attacking me over the computer with your ignorant side comments. You don’t know me! I pray that you get born-again and find out what real love is. “OH PB, you don’t know what real love is” Whatever. If I have a log, yours is a redwood.


UPDATE: Pastorboy claims this was all satire, yet I will point out that he stated: “Take that plank and shove it. No really, i mean it. No satire.” He claims we are lying, yet it is obvious who really is.

 I am appalled at this sort of language. We have taken great pains as such people like Ken Silva and Steve Camp have gone far in revising our Church history to remove anything that might be crass. We love Luther, but deny any foul language or crassness that some claim as total falsehood.

I must state as some other writers here also have, that some ODM’s are losing sight of their own holy standard and becoming much too worldly. As a pastor myself I would tell my own church to leave it or defrock me if I was telling the unsaved or apostate to “Take that plank and shove it.”

Sadly John is not the only one that has stated this sort of thing, but we have given grace in the past, yet now it is sin just running amok in the ODM camp and must be dealt with! Sadly it was another emerging apostate that pointed out Chris Pajak, who sometimes writes for CRN, as stating something very similar! How sad when even apostates and heretics can so easily find sin in our own camp!

If we are to win in this Truth War of higher self righteous standards, we need to live by them.

I call that those who know John Chisham and his church call for his immediate dismissal as pastor at his church, we must keep the sinners like this out. Unless he is truly Elect then he can just repent and keep on sinning.

And John, the eye is painful enough place to have a plank, we do not need new places to shove them into.

Jesus wept,

I. Todyaso

We Agree: Christians Should Never Have Fun!

June 19, 2008


I have used this space in the past to warn you of the dangers of a certain blog whose author purports, falsely, to be a trained discernmentalist. It is not easy to come by these skills. I have been fortunate in my young career to be trained by some of the best, including, but not limited to, Itodyaso. The illustrious IT has taught me that discernmentalism is not a fun responsibility. It carries a heavy burden because what is at stake is heavy: The truth. I have learned that the truth war is nothing to scoff at and it is certainly not about fun. People are dying all of the place because the ammunition we use in the truth war doesn’t just impact the surface like a paintball ‘bullet,’ but rather, it penetrates deeply to the source quite like Ben Gay or Preparation H.

In short, we here at ODM do not take this responsibility lightly, but reverently, soberly, and with sincere hearts.

Thus we welcome back to the fold of serious ODM’s our comrade in keyboard, Slice of Laodicea, who sometime yesterday got it right and bravely reminded us of the serious truth that Christians do not have fun–especially on Sunday mornings, especially on Father’s Day, and especially in churches we do not worship with on a regular basis, have never visited, and have not placed our membership, given a tithe or an offering, or participated in a ministry program or evangelistic call or listened to a sermon by the preacher; especially churches we judge because we have one picture sent to us by a spy. In this post, she has warned us of the dangers of staging ‘faux sumo wrestling.’ This is most important because, as we all know, faux sumo wrestling is strictly prohibited in the New Testament.

It is important that we continue showing people all around the world that what defines Christians is not childlike joy, not happiness, not celebration, not fun, not laughter but seriousness, reverence, fear, shuddering, trembling, gloom, despair and agony, Oh me!, deep dark depression, excessive misery. Thank you Slice of Laodicea for reminding us of the dangers of fun, laughter, silliness, and excessive joy. We wouldn’t want any of these things infecting the true church.

And for all the rest of you, get in line! Turn those smiles in frowns!

Grieve, mourn and wail. Change your laughter to mourning and your joy to gloom. 10Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up.” (James 4:9-10, NIV)

Remember, I struggle for you.


Michael Horton: Slouching Towards Gomorrah or Risky Business?

June 17, 2008



I haven’t been writing much lately, and I am sorry about that. Happily, life is taking on new twists and turns and me and my family have been busily looking for our first house. Not only that, but I have been engaging in a major battle of words with that fake dangoldfinch over at Life Under the Blue Sky. Goldfinch is such a fake and I think someone needs to expose him for the fake he is.

Anyhow, here’s what is eating at me today. Michael Horton, professor at Westminister Theological Seminary, author, host of the White Horse Inn, has done something that really, really frightens me. We have learned from other discernmentalists that it is a dangerous thing to use illustrations from pop culture–especially the world of film. I even learned recently that it is against the rules to quote from Dr Seuss when making a point about the Gospel. We agree! There is no place for such childish, and clearly products of the devil in our worship services.

This is why I am so torn up today. White Horse Inn is normally a very reliable resource for getting at the real, hard-core truth. Michael Horton is normally a profound thinker, theologically orthodox Gospelnator. This video episode (from May 18, Selling Jesus) of the White Horse Inn features Michael Horton opening the program with, gasp, an illustration from, I can barely say this without partially regurgitating my unfrostedstrawberry pop tarts, a Tom Cruise movie: Risky Business!

There are many of you in our sphere of influence who, like us, count on the sound expositions of the Gospel by people like Dr Horton, but if we are to do our job correctly, and faithfully, and evenhandedly, then we must call out Dr Horton on this serious transgression of ethics. This is sad, sad, sad and terribly disturbing. We simply cannot stand for Gospelizers who use illustrations from movies that are filled with gratuitous s**, exploitation of women, drug use, alcohol consumption, prostitution, public s**, violence, crime, cigarette smoking, partial nudity, dancing, secular music, and a star actor who is a Scientologist.

Now I know Horton used the illustration as a negative example, and I know this is a radio program and not a ‘church’ per se. Nevertheless, church people watch and listen to the White Horse Inn. I wonder how many hapless Christians will be interested in this film and rush right out to Blockbuster to rent it? I fear this is an example of Dr Horton slouching toward Gomorrah–using a fantastic, scintillating hook to rope people in to the story. I think he could have chosen a better film, say a Christian film like Left Behind or Facing the Giants.

One Holy Movie!

I am calling on Dr Horton to rebuke himself and to edit this videpisode of White Horse Inn to reflect his sincere repentance at this gaffe. The opening few minutes need to be excised so that this terrible illustration from a film about ‘human pleasure’, a film about ‘fleshly indulgence,’ will not be heard by the hapless Christians who cannot tell their right hands from their left feet. Dr Horton: You are hereby on notice! We will continue to warn people of your use of such illustrations and your less than holy approach to teaching people the Gospel. Repent!

I care for you in Laodicea and I want you to know that it pained me to listen to this episode of WHI knowing that I had to listen, at the beginning, to a lengthy description of this horrible film. Please write to the White Horse Inn and let them know that you do not appreciate their use of secular films to make their points, no matter how valid those points may be. These are dangerous times, and we cannot continue this sort of nonsense We need people who will abandon all such illustrations and get back to the truth. Dr Horton has clearly proved that he cannot be trusted here in Laodicea.

Mailing Address
White Horse Inn
1725 Bear Valley Parkway
Escondido, CA 92027

Tel: 800.890.7556 | 760.739.9001
Fax: 760.741.1045


yours for the truth war,


Truth War Humor!

June 15, 2008

Ahh so true! Even Chris Rosebrough has returned to the fold. We cannot afford any original thoughts this far in the Truth War.

I. Todyaso

New Page added! Rick Warren Threat Level!

June 6, 2008

We have added a new page here. As things are changing fast we need to keep up to date on Rick Warrens threat activity level.

This is Ken Silva approved, Quote Ken, “Hey…cool.” He likes it!

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