Apprising Ministries always quick to get the story out noted the dark sinister ploys of the ZONERVAN NATIONAL PASTORS CONFERENCE 2009. Thankfully this year’s theme is entitled “A festival of Fruitless pseudo-Christianity” so that Apprising has to do little or no research whatsoever. Apprising states that there is an “annual Zondervan marketing blowout only thinly disguised as a gathering for pastors.” Apprising did further digging to discover that these faux pastors where actually created in a Pentagon lab through a multi-billion dollar black project in conjunction with Skunkworks.
Unfortunately, it is difficult to get to the truth – especially the absolute truth. Take a Stand Ministries (TSM) with the help of a bible – based satellite (BS) system was able to detect what they were doing in this subversive symposium. Using their BS they cited group prayer, silence and reflection and attendance at a chapel they could ultimately destroy the body of Christ at large. However, Take A Stand Ministries had developed a working theory that contradicted Apprising “Imagine if they begin to subvert the entire church with crazy ideas of self reflection, and silence and even prayer together… this is obviously diabolical – I bet Rob Bell is behind the curtain in conjunction with reverse vampires, sinners and the KGB.” Stay tuned for more theories and solid news from The Online Discernmentalist Mafia.