Forget Rob Bell. Is Ken Silva a Universalist?

February 16, 2009


I was surprised that Ken Silva has written a song, let alone a poem. I mean, that means there is some “softness” still which we cannot afford to have in the Truth War. Now, the poem was fine until this one line.

“Jesus died, He shed His blood, He’s not willing to lose — anyone.”

Ken did not preface this line with anything about the “Elect”… and Ken has spoken more than once that he is “not a Calvnist”. So we must only assume Ken means everyone will be saved in the end. Has Ken been infected by the emergents? Has all the “research” Ken has done over the years softened his heart brain and made him lose sight of the Absolute Truth of Hell? What’s next? Will Ken write a book about God wanting to save emergents?

Please pray as Ken seems to have begun an unfortunate spiral downward into relativistic Universalism. Hopefully Ken will return to his savage attacks on those who hold to the lie that God loves us.

Apprising Ministries Attacks String Theory

February 16, 2009


Apprising Ministries, the stalwart Online Discernment Ministry of Orthodoxy pulled no punches yesterday when they attacked String Theory. “It is simply preposterous that the universe is made out of strings….even ropes are not strong enough to hold the planets together…besides the strings would get all tangled up with the planets.” The Online Discernmentalist Mafia (ODM) was fully supportive of Apprising Ministries and captured these brave comments “we must stand strong for Absolute Truth.” ODM followed up with a question by Dr Kaku regarding Apprising Ministries Statements “I’m not sure what Apprising is getting at here…has he even read a science text?” ODM came to the conclusion that Dr. Kaku was simply trying to hide the truth and using science to make a badder world.

We at the Online Discernmentalist Mafia fully support Apprising Ministries stand against scientific theories….especially ones made out of ropes and strings!

John Hagee Explodes

February 16, 2009

And actual picture of a dramatized John Hagee exploding.

Sunday evening in Texas John Hagee the controversial fire and brimstone preacher exploded while trying to explain the complexities of his end times charts. A church spokesman said “It is a shame that he exploded, but he was trying his darndest to get the newcomers to understand the multifaceted nuances of eschatology. It took him 15 years of research and study to build these charts. One of a kind! He become so enraged and frustrated in trying to explain the book of Revelation that he simply burst!” A clean up crew was on sight to take care of his remains.

We need your cash… and get a free sin!

February 16, 2009


In order for us to keep going we need your help. Yes, we are not like the other ODM’s that pretend to be persecuted and then beg for money, we instead have chosen to sell our indulgences to other ODM’s though they do wrong. This means that when you donate $1000 to us we will give the ODM of your choice a free pass for a week. We will let the “standard” slide for a time for them. So if you what us to not hold the standard up to our brothers and sister ODM’ers then please send all gifts and offerings to us. In fact God just told me to tell you that if you add another “0” to your check, then we will be glad to mention you on this blog as one that shares with us the truth of our angry God who hates sinners and gays and Democrats and sits all day listening to conservative talk radio.

I. Todyaso

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